It's not a battle nic...she is trying to control me. I don't call her for a blow by blow toy inventory. There really is no need for the call. We don't need 'toy calls' anymore. She once tried to have me arrested.
(BTW..she was out 'til 3Am last night...toy phone calls??????)
I'm not getting connection.
FIB - I've been there, it sucks. I know you're in pain. But Christmas is for your kids - stop making yourself a victim.
And I'll shut up now, b/c I obviously am not patient enough to be all cuddly.
I really do wish you all the best, N
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
nic...not sure why you are angry at me. It IS about the kids. I carried her tree up today...offered to help her get it together....etc. I have left a lot of things out over the last few weeks.....she is still pushing buttons.
Part of my pain nic is that my kids are Jewish..one is enrolled in Hebrew school...she agreed to raise them that way and still does. But things are being done outside of this that cause a lot of contradiction and confusion. I have not said anything BECAUSE it is about the kids right now. I can't discuss it here because I don't think it is a conversation that is easily had. Thanks for your continued support tho'. I'm sorry if you feel the need to sign off or if you took something typed as an attack.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Hey FIB, just checking in to say hi! I think the sooner this is over for you,the better off you'll be. Right now, she is not a worthy person - not worthy of your time or energy.
Keep the focus on the kids. Be their voice of reason, their beacon of light. Show by example as I know you do and love them fiercely. Hang in there. And remember there are women in the world who appreciate a man with morals who love their children and want what is best for them. Sorry your wife isnt one of them.
I'm not angry at YOU - I'm annoyed at the spin you're putting on this, b/c you are making it about your R with her. She is your ex. That means that yes, you talk about Christmas gifts, but she can go out till she pleases. As can you (although you *choose* not to).
FIB, she's not your wife anymore. She is a co-parent. That's it.
I know it's hard to live with someone who is acting that way (i.e. unmarried), but the bright side is, at least you are aware of the situation! I lived with that for 3 years, with no idea what was going on.
I feel like you are looking for sympathy, but that you are acting in a way that is not the man I KNOW you can be. That's what I meant about not being able to be cuddly. You're past that. IMHO, it's not time for "oh poor fib, boo hoo".
It's the holidays. It's freakin' hard for EVERYONE, even people that are happily married.
I went to a Christmas concert last night w/ a friend who started to cry in the middle of it. This is her first holiday w/o her husband, who died in the spring of a freak virus. She was 6 months pregnant with their second child. They were so in love with each other, and with their toddler, and now she is raising two little ones alone, mourning a much-too-early death. He was a wonderful husband and father. Amazingly, her faith is still strong, and she believes that God has a plan for her.
I know you hurt and I'm not trying to diminish that. But this is REAL perspective
And I know you know this.
N
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
Im here too Bro...I just took a break from the boards.
Last edited by Gman3388; 12/09/0812:36 AM.
Gman Me 40 W 30 kids B 11 B 10 D 8 Been here off and on since 06. PA Confirmed Dec 08.. With God, anything is possible. Do or do not there is no try. Sometimes you have to roll the hard six...
I feel like you are looking for sympathy, but that you are acting in a way that is not the man I KNOW you can be. That's what I meant about not being able to be cuddly. You're past that. IMHO, it's not time for "oh poor fib, boo hoo".
Not at all nic. My W is doing things with the kids that are confusing to them. This has nothing to do with me needing coddling, sympathy, etc. The kids are being confused and played and THIS IS where my pain is. Not for her...not for the M......
Not sure where you thought that I needed sympathy but I won't spend that time there.
XXX is free to go and do as she pleases. It is NOT OK to still hurt the kids or have outbursts in front of them nor confuse them.
As for the toys, divorced parents move on with their lives, they make major life decisions together about their kids if they have joint custody. I'm not sure they have to 'check their lists twice' together on who is buying what for them. Besides...nic...is Christmas about the kids? or..is it the celebration of the birth of Christ? I would think it's the celebration of the birth of the man who gave the world love and hope and faith...and the celebration of family.....
Not sure, but, JMO. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
Yes sandy. I am still in there and am INSTRUCTED to stay there by my L. Although there is no more talk of any type outside of necessities for the kids, I still have to deal with her posturing, corraling the kids, occasional outbursts of negativity and, of course, having the house as a stage.
As nic said above, we are getting D'd and my W is free to do what she wants. That's not the issue nor does hurt like it did a long time ago. I just don't need to see it..and being required to stay there prevents me from making that 'final detachment'.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
