I need to keep working to GAL. I also need to find the little things that improve my life. The more I keep myself busy the more my sitch won't hurt. By working on me I've been able to change my behavior enough to live with or without my wife. I have some bad moments which will never go stop, but they don't hurt as much.
I like this exercise class I'm in. It's a combination of core trainging and self defense. After every workout I'm exhausted and look forward to the next workout.
You set down some boundaires before and you life improved.
You said "This or that."
More like "This or leave"
But you stopped.
I guess that is where I don't get why you aren't doing that again.
"This or done."
Otherwise...to me...its like you, yourself are waking up in the morning, sighing deeply about how much your life sucks, and then picking open your own scars and pouring salt in them and facing the day full of pain.
"This or that."
It did work. She was shaping up.
Why are you accepting less?
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Our stich is getting better but only baby steps. I'm going away for a few days on vacation with my W. I think is making her angry. We went out for a few drinks last night and she let me have it. I defended myself at first but this was getting worse. I gradually started validating her feelings and things got better.
Went away for a few days without my wife. It was a good time I went with a friend and SS23. I saw so many couples walking hand and hand. I was sad of what I've missed out on it made me think.
I told her today I can't live like this anymore. If she loved me once in her life she would let me know either way. I can't wait for D to be 18. I feel like I have to move on now.
This stich isn't going anywhere. Maybe Jack is right I need to shake things up.
Fixer The lonliness is what got to me. I`ve faced everything on my own for the lenght of H`s MLC, I`m ready for some companionship. Nothing serious, or just being on my own for a little longer.
Shake things up a bit, get something moving. This limbo isn`t fair to you, while W is still living her dream of you taking care of things, you`re still with her, she gets to do whatever she wants without any questions from you, she has it good.
You are still suffering from her MLC. You will know when you`ve had enough. I knew, and it was freeing.
I just came back from a vacation without my W and D12. I've been telling my W that I was going to wait until D12 was 18 years old. After the vacation, I told her I'm not waiting until D is older. I mentioned to her how so many couples were together I felt so lonely.
Everyday, I say to myself that I'm staying for D12.
I was locked out of the house b/c my wife had my key. She and D12 were having dinner with my MIL. I swung buy the restaurant to get the key. I started chatting with my MIL and decided to order something for dinner. D12 was happy I was there. My W wasn't too talkative but seemed alright with me being there. I enjoy the conversations I have with my MIL and tried to include my W in our talks. My MIL doesn't drive at night so I knew she would be leaving soon. After my MIL left it's just me D12 and my W.
My dinner hasn't arrived yet and my W is sitting there looking very tired. We talk for a little bit more and I told her she didn't need to stay. My W decides to stay around until my dinner arrives. While I'm eating I if she was going to see my councelor tomorrow. He wants to see where she stands in our M. She said she would go so I thanked her.
My W decides it's time to leave. I'm eating dinner and she's just standing there. Then she leans over and gives me a hug and a kiss. Folks this is the first time in a very long time she's kissed me in public. I was in shock!
So here are the two positives in my stich. One she's going to see my councelor and two, she kissed me in public.
Honestly, I don't know. It could be the fact that I went on vacation without inviting her. When I was on vacation and called home to talk to D12 I told her about how much were missing being in limbo. The talk afterwards was me doing what I always do and that's not letting stuff stay bottled up.
