My W Convinced, D Is The Answer!

[Little Engine]

Second Thread Locked

Starting a new thread here tonight, thinking about moving to "Surviving" though? Any of my friends ready to make the move with me? Amy, James, HFGW?

I've gone the whole weekend with no contact from W or kids. Really sure that OW was probably at the house with them all weekend. Spent today watching football and little else. Got out of the house to clear my head and surf a bit, post here.

Really struggling today with the spiritual ramifications of D and how this is so against my nature. Also, doing a lot of blaming myself for my fault in the marriage. S just called me now so I need to talk to him and D.

[marriedCrazy]

I have a feeling that I'll be with you in Surviving here shortly LE. Hope everything else is well.

[Babygirl]

hey both of you. getting here to check on my buddies! So thats what your thinkng LE? only you know what you need to do, so you know I will be where ever you are, as you are my friend. we love you and wont leave you alone!
big hugs from windy ks
ps praying for no rain is probably not gonna help is it lol!!!

[Amy M]

LE! I can't move yet, but I'll keep up with you over there...You can make a nice cozy space and throw me a "welcome" party when I get there shortly!!!

Don't blame yourself so much. You likely weren't the perfect H...there's no such thing. But, you didn't make your W be unfaithful. She chose that path for your family. Only God can help you resolve the spiritual ramifications of D struggle. Just pray on it and resolve not to act until God's answer is clear to you. I know...I'm suggesting more patience...that seems to be all we do here...be patient!!!!

I hope you can do something for you tomorrow...when's your next visit with the kids? Next weekend? Plan something fun for that...I know they miss you as much as you miss them.

I've got you on my prayer list...I'll specifically start asking God to help you resolve the issues about your path forward.

Love!
Amy

Amy

[jame38]

Sorry for ur hard day, give it a little more time before u move. U know when days are hard we want to change it then and there. But we cant, we alway want to fix it. We have to get it thru our thick skulls that this is something we cant fix, time has to play its roll. Im like u, some days im ready to be done, the next im not. I know my W was with OM friday night, all night, at her sis's house with my son there even after her knowing it bothers him. Im just taking a deep breath, did alot of things with kids this weekend. Talked to my uncle yesterday, who is a preacher, gave me some support and encouragement. Daughters 18th bday is tues, i guess we are going to fix dinner for her together. She was very quite at pitching pratice yesterday, alot on her mind.

Anyway LE keep ur head up and dont give up til u know in your heart that its time. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. Im thinking about u and have been praying for all of us.

[HFGW]

Hi LE - sorry that you are having a bad day and weekend. Yip, I also feel like giving up at times and the next time I am pumped up to work on me and show her what she is missing. I think many of us are in the same boat with our stiches but also with our mental attiutudes. We need to find ways to work on ourselves and give us the strength we need to move forward.

Maybe too soon for moving to surviving yet.

[TxMomw/2girls]

Agree - only you know...but hang here for a little longer... unless you just feel it in your gut and heart... I know after I talk with my H sometimes he makes everything sound so matter of fact that we tend to want to believe them and just move on... Don't let what your wife is saying sway you... you make the decision and trust that God will lead you.

let's pray for a better day today and week for all of us..

[Arthur]

LE - As others have said and I've said plenty of times. Only you know when your done. I remember MFT repeatedly asking me if I was really done when I said I was and deep down I wasn't for a while. There just beomes a point when 'you know'. I don't think you sound like your there yet personally your just having a tough time and you may thinkt that quiting will take that pain away. It won't until you know your done.

Hang in there bruv, go for a run or do some exercise, I always find that helps. Clears the brain, get the good chemicals flowing round your head and makes decisions easier for me.

GL

[A in Ohio]

LE - Don't forget me. I'll be in survival mode shortly as well. W/ in 2 mos is my guess.

[Little Engine]

I think I am done. Her actions and just something in me says to let her go and start forward on my new life. W has completely flipped out for OM and as brightly as this is burning for her, I have to think that reality will make it flash out quickly. Even if there were no OM, I don't know if I would want a M with her anymore.

A friend called me last night to see how I was doing. His W is friends with mine. She dropped in to see my W at work and W was wearing a ring that OM had given her. W took a phone call from her sister a coule of minutes later and was totally playing ring off as no big deal to family. Gets off the phone and tells our friend a different story. Friends W was just aghast at what my W is doing and how she is pulling our kids into this new fantasy. Again, I think I am done. What would you do?

When my friend told me this, the only reaction I had was to laugh. My W is so lost and unhappy that she would resort to this? Just absolutely tragic!

I talked to kids last night as I made last post. S sounded tired and sad, D was a little more upbeat, but W put her on speakerphone, and that irks me. W got on to ask about parent teacher conference and they had asked if we wanted separate or together. W told them "together." I said just make a time that is convenient for you, I don't know if I'll even make it. I'll e-mail the teacher and get the skinny from her. D has a field trip Wednesday and I just asked W, "You said you were going to go, so is that still the plan?" W said "Yes," and I responded "OK then, I'm not going to take the day off if you have it handled. Would you put S back on so I can tell him goodnight?" W seemed sort of shocked that I didn't want to talk to her. I really have nothing to say.

Weighing now if I should try for shared custody and move back to town, buy a house and settle there for the sake of my kids? I'd like sole custody, but the judge probably won't agree to that with my on-call schedule. I feel like the kids really need the stability that I could provide if I were there. W wouldn't have my CS$ to support her new life with OM. I'm sure they are planning him to move in and help her with mortgage. I wouldn't be surprised if D is final and she marries OM on NYE! What a psycho she has become!

Thanks everyone for your prayers and support. I came to the library to clear my head and have Internet on the laptop. Rainy, cold, windy day here, but really not as depressed as I figured I would be.