Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 10 of 12 1 2 8 9 10 11 12
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,196
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,196
I guess. Is closure important to you? It now is for me. I still am embarrassed to say I am about to be divorced. I feel i't humiliating, but that's just me.

FLTC #1619249 10/13/08 02:26 PM
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,035
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,035
Originally Posted By: FLTC
I guess. Is closure important to you? It now is for me. I still am embarrassed to say I am about to be divorced. I feel i't humiliating, but that's just me.


Yes, I remember when I was at your stage FLTC, I was gonna divorce her ass the very second I could and move on with my life. Getting "closure" was so important to me back then. Well, what I've learned is that closure takes one heck of alot more than a piece of paper saying "divorced". When you have to raise your children together, despite being apart it's not as simple as it might sound. Closure takes years, these wounds don't just heal up over time, it takes healing acts and one of them, at some point, will be getting the official big D. For me right now, that's not a priority. My W isn't coming back and nor would I want her back if it means living the way we did before. I'm just recognizing that closure is a long term process that requires patience.
It just occured to me last night how lucky my STBX is to have ME as her estranged spouse. Think about it, how many other men (or women) would be OK with their unfaithful spouse spending special occassions with his family! I figure, she was a part of my parents life for over 17 years and my parents, while disapproving of what she has done, are good people, who in some way, will always consider her their DIL. I hope my STBX has some inkling of how blessed she really is here. Maybe she does and maybe she doesn't. It doesn't matter because my parents raised me to be forgiving and not seek vengeance on others. I'm trying!


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,035
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,035
I just got back from picking the kids up at STBX's. Apparently OW is coming over this afternoon to help her clean out the garage! Welcome to what was my world, OW. You wanted my job, now you've got it. Happy Thanksgiving to ya. I think I'll kick back and watch some football this afternoon


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,035
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,035
Oh right, I've got the girls today, so it looks like it's goodbye to football and hello to So You Think You Can Dance Canada. Hey, aren't the Giants playing the Browns tonight? All is not lost


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 3,544
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 3,544
Yes.. the Giants might as well be playing a HS football team btw... probably would have less penalties against them..

Tom

Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,035
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,035
Originally Posted By: attorneytom
Yes.. the Giants might as well be playing a HS football team btw... probably would have less penalties against them..

Tom


Hey, despite all the penalties, they still kicked the crap out of the Giants! The Browns pulled a 180. Now they just need to keep doing what is working and stop what is not. Hmm, this is all sounding strangely familiar somehow \:\)


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,035
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,035
Well, Whatis just had "the" shopping experience with D14, and I thought I was gonna pull my hair (and hers!) out. I picked her up at STBXs and was supposed to take her out shopping for glasses but she informed me that she needed a one piece bathing suit for swimming class for TOMORROW, of course. OK, it's mid October and I'm to look for a one piece swim suit, not a bikini which she has and understandably does not feel comfortable wearing to swim class with boys around. She then announces that she also needs a bag to carry her swim things in, which I declined to purchase for her. I told her that there were bags in her mothers closet upstairs. OH, but those bags are a little bulky to carry with a napsack and therefore I should spend another 20 bucks for a new, more compact one! I explained this thing called a budget to her. It may not be the bag of your dreams but it works. I said "your mother drives a 15 years old car, not because that's the one the she wants but because it still works" That was a big fat zero on D14's radar screen. Next, after actually finding a pretty decent suit for 20 bucks (after 2.5 hours of searching) she wants shorts to cover her legs cuz she doesn't like her legs. Well, Whatis said "forget it" Wow, the kid just keeps badgering until you're about to lose it. I phoned STBX because I needed to make sure she was actually OK with me purchasing a swim suit and she was. STBX says "see, this is what I put up with constantly, she wants this and it has to be this brand and just keeps pushing and pushing" D14 even sucked me into going into a store "just to look at the bags" and you can guess how that went....badly and very quickly. I said "what did you not understand about the budgeting I just described to you?" Whew, I've come down with a wicked cold and I was on my feet at work non-stop for four hours and my evening is spent like this! Fun wow. Oh well, she actually did get a really nice bathing suit and is pleased with it despite the fact that the bag she has will be a little bulky and people will see her ugly legs. AHHHHHHH!


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 9,400
Member
Offline
Member
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 9,400
Whatisis:

I can totally relate. Newsflash: It does not get better until they get a job and have to pay for things for themselves. Then they shop at Value Village. When we foot the bill its Abercrombie and Fitch.

My teen daughter was a vegetarian then a vegan. You can imagine how much our groceries cost. Soy this and almond milk etc. Now she is not working, ex is not paying CS so I give her $100 a week to get groceries for both of us. I tell her if I won't eat or drink it too - don't buy it with my money. OK, so suddenly meat is ok again. And she can live without her fancy milk. Hmmm???

Getting a swimsuit for $20 that she will actually wear is a good day. But you also have a younger D so you have to set the example. Get used to it. You've got many years of this to go.

enjoy!

Barb

Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,035
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,035
Yes Barb, it was actually a great buy, reduced from 88 bucks. The salestaff were trying to convince us that the regular price $72 Roots suit was best. Oh, come on, it's for high school swim class! D14 is actually thrilled with her purchase, so despite all the BS I waded through, it was nice to see that she got something she is pleased with versus just buying something because it's all that's left on the rack. \:\)


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 732
G
Member
Offline
Member
G
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 732
Super deal, great job Dad! (For those US folks, Wii got his daughter into a $17.61 ((US Dollars)) one piece)
Remarkable accomplishment Wii. My DD was highly opinionated at age 4 about her attire. I was never able to sway with such authority.
I'm impressed!

Page 10 of 12 1 2 8 9 10 11 12

Moderated by  Cadet, job, Virginia 

Link Copied to Clipboard