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#1602145 09/24/08 05:13 PM
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discovered in discussion with my STBX that he wasn't aware of the temporary orders he received with the papers that where served to him. I said they are in the papers. His response was that he didn't sign anything and therefore could not be held to the orders and only I could be held to the orders. Then he said that he would not abide by the orders and would spend money as he pleases.

He has always paid the mortgage as he has received an allowance from the Navy. His last day in the Navy was Monday and he does not have a job and of course no longer receives an allowance. He can not afford to pay the mortgage and not only seems to care less but is planning to take a leisure trip to New York in two weeks.

I have contacted my Lawyer to file an order to show cause (OSC) however I am new to this process. Will this allow a judge to order him to stop spending. How long does this take. My concern is that since the trip is only a couple weeks away he will have purchased the tickets before the ball even gets rolling. How does this work?


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I'm not 100% certain, but I think as soon as the order is filed with the clerk, it's immediate.

When was your H served? If it's been 30 days and he hasn't responded to the claim, then he's in default, and you can proceed without him.


Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
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Going forward,

Thanks for your response.

I served him with sep. papers in July and he responded but didn't read one word.

I have an appointment with my lawyer to write up the OSC. I haven't found any information regarding how it enforces the order to cease incurring debt except for the necessities of life.


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my divorce was granted, along with spousal support and everything i requested because my ex did not respond to paperwork

after 30 days it is as if he did sign
because he didn't protest anything

so its like agreement by default

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I really don't have much expertise in this (thankfully) but I wanted to offer support and say I hope this goes well for you... While you can get all the orders you want, that doesn't mean your STBX will actually adhere to them and stop spending... so try to protect yourself. Although it isn't fair, you might have to pay the mortgage and some other bills to protect your credit... or look into getting the house sold ASAP. I know plenty of STBXs are motivated by the thought of being in contempt (usually the ones with money) but those without a lot to lose can really be difficult and destructive. Good luck!!


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Originally Posted By: inspiredjulie
While you can get all the orders you want, that doesn't mean your STBX will actually adhere to them and stop spending... so try to protect yourself.


Absolutely.

You served him with S papers - so you are considered to be legally S'ed, yes? If so, then I think whatever debt he incurs after your LS date is solely his and you are protected from such debt.

Again, as inspiredjulie pointed out, there's no guarantee he won't spend community money on stuff other than the necessary living expenses. If he does do that, I'm not sure what the 'penalty' would be, if any. I would think he'd probably be ordered by the court to pay that back to you. No guarantee of that happening either though.

Not sure how much help this is, so be sure to ask your L. Write your questions down before you go to the appt so you won't forget anything.

Good luck.

(((((HOPEFUL)))))


Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
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my exhas violated our divorce decree

any debts with both your names, even if he is legal responsible for them according to the decree will still go on your credit. In order to get back that money you have to take him back to court
and
he actually ahs to have the money to pay

my ex owes me around $10000 and it climbs every month
the electric compnay didn't care that my divorce decree said he was responsible for that bill
they cared about getting their money

my attorney friends told me they are correct...

sucks assets but true

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Yikes, fig! Ratbastards is right!

I totally get that any debt in both spouses' names belongs to both. However, in CA, if you're getting D'ed and you have a separation date, whatever debt each spouse incurs after said date belongs to that individual party. The other is not responsible for it. I'm pretty sure it's the same for a LS, but not 100% sure.

My H (whom I'm S'ed from) could go out and buy a new car today if he wanted to, and I would be no part of that. That debt would be his alone.

Well right now, he's trying to get his own place - a condo - and he said because we're still legally M'ed that the lender wants to run a credit check on me. Just a credit check. Uh-uh. Sorry, not doing it. If he can't get the place entirely on his own, then he can wait til the D is final.

Sorry for the little hijack, Hopeful!

(((Hang in there!)))


Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
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yup
anything after teh divorce was final is his bill
anything that was joint was joint

he was court ordered to pay me 400 a month and keep us on his insurance

since he lost his job
i have had to pay for our insurance which is really his responsibility and he hasn't paid spousal support

belch

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From what I understand from talking to my lawyer, his name, my name, community property, seperate property only comes into play when making a settlement.

Bottom line, if he declares bankruptcy or defaults on his payments the companies are not bound by the D settlement and will come after me for the money regardless of any of the circumstances.


Posts
Role Reversal(original)
WAW now LBS part I & II
WAW now LBS part III(current)
T: 9 yrs
M: 8 yrs
WAW: Sep 06-Jul 07
LBS: Sep 07-pres.
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