The stupid neither forgive nor forget;

[KarenMarieS]

At least that was your team! This was two teams i have no interest in, Penn St. and something else . zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
luckily mom called to tell me about the furniture they picked out whewww lol

[KarenMarieS]

Hi all!
Long and last one I promise! lol maybe LOL

Well I was going to let my thread just slip off into the sunset, had nothing to say of interest, not that thats ever stopped me before lol and I figued it was time to leave, after all most of the people who wrote to me are all gone bye bye now, just have to keep in touch the old fashion way.

Then I thought well gosh, I dont like leaving things undone.
So i'll just wrap it up.

5-1/2 yrs when I came here, about 6 months after ex left , I like most everyone here was devastated, lost, scared, angry, you name it.

Fast forward this weekend, We took a trip up to Pismo Beach, a darling little beach town up central coast, about 4 hrs away, B and I were sitting outside , having dinner and drinks and watching the sunset over the ocean, it was just beautiful!
We had had a great day, playing tourist at Hearst Castle, our hotel was right on the waters edge- We had done a little Christmas shopping in town, wine, shopping and shrimp, seriously it dosnt get much better then that for me! lol

I sat there that night, and my mind drifted to 6 yrs ago in July when my ex dropped the bomb on me out of the blue. I honestly didnt think I'd even smile or be happy again, never mind find love and be happier then ever, and the most important thing to me, to really feel loved and appreciated, something when I look back ex could never provide, never returned the love.

It all came together last week, when my ex called me and again out of the blue, the man loves shock and awe it seems, Started the convo w/ a nasty attitude and yelling, I was gobsmacked. We had been getting along realy well for close to a year.

A week earlier he had asked me what the deal was w/ our S and his "gf" in NY, its been going on a while and well, we are all curious about a R where they do not see each other, and seems to be keeping them from being open to new R.

Anyway, not a big deal but as a mom I and others who love S are curious about it. Ex had asked me and I had suggested on their bonding trip to Boston he bring it up " good idea" was his reply

So i tm him and asked if he had found out anything ( i never call him--- for a few reasons lol) well the phone rings and BOOM , out came the spew I remembered from 6 yrs ago, " what the He!! Karen? what doyou want to know?? geeze" I didnt know what to say as I was shocked I told him it was no big deal just ,,just,,,well, I didnt get much more out as he went off on me and told me He was not taking sides! SIDES?? I never ever said that, i just thought he found out more then I could.

I sat there dumbfounded then shook it off and said listen here EX! do not yell at me, ya lost that privledge 6 yrs ago , I asked a question--I was concerned about OUR S, thats all- no sides to be taken! Just concern, and do not ever call me yellig again, in fact, unless there is an emergency, do not call me period.

I was very shocked as just this last summer an incident came up and when I called ex w/ concern he sang my praises! Said he really liked that we could talk and confine n each ohter over S.
WHAT HAPPEND? lol
total strange behavior, anyway, i figure he was drinking as he did slur his words.

He tm me after and said, you'll never change!
LOL
oookkk so I realized at that moment that a friendship is not goign to work w/ him, sadly and I did try hard, I really did.
I wanted us to have a good R for Rys' sake, but its not to be, just like we couldnt be family - in a way I am relieved as it was hard at times, being nice , friendly, all smiles when he came over, knowing the awful things hes done.

So it all came together, Having ex completley out of my life, even as a friendship, my new life w/ someone who I adore, and feel so safe and loved and like a partner with. Its a big difference and one I am glad to be involved with

So end of my DB story.
Still have to come around to others threads tho, how can you not want to read Kevs antics and Alls quips and Barbs perfect sunshine threads and C2 inspiring words that I sometimes carry w/ me through out the day?? SG and Brig and Trip adn I'll stop before I forget anyone! and many others here I admire and look up to-- So being a guest here is gonna work out fine!

Happy Life everyone!

[Trip]

Karen,

I am so glad your fast forward was to something wonderful. Such a needed thing after all of the pain. And funny, in the odd sense or maybe not even so, that we get shows of how wonderful things can really be when the ex rears his ugly head again.

Your weekend sounds awesome!

[Committed2Him]

Hey Karen,

Just a quick note of congratulations on your wonderful new life. Sharing the positive stuff help others to know that there is life after the D, but not just life, GOOD LIFE as well. Your trip sounded absolutely wonderful and only inspires me to continue believing that could be me one day (well, I mean with someone of my own, not me and "B" )

Aside from the occasional blow ups, it sounds like you have peace and that is great. It seems that many of us have the periodic conflict with our X and maybe it will always be that way. We WILL disagree on things but that does not give us the right to be disagreeable. You have a great response in telling X he no longer has the right to talk to you the way he occasionally does. (My X blew up recently but it was through email and I did not respond, things went back to being calm between us very quickly)

We cannot let these people steal our joy, right?

Anyway just wanted to congratulate you again on you new life and encourage you to keep the updates coming, it gives others who want to receive it, encouragement and hope for the future.

Blessings!
(p.s. Fight On!)

[BarbieDoll]

Hey Ms Karen...

Great post! And I totally hear you about moving on to a better place. With a better person. One who would not show you that kind of disrespect.

Your ex is an ass and a stranger. Good you ruled out "being friends". It is one thing to coparent and eventually you'll become grandparents on the same day. You'll probably have to deal with a wedding as well. But at least you can communicate enough to get through it.

Your "B" is a lucky guy. Because you are a living gem. And I'm proud to call you one of my bestest friends.

Love ya, Mean it!

Barb

[Committed2Him]

Awe Barb,

you are getting me all teary eyed

(Yeah, I know you were talking to Karen but I like those "chick flick" moments )

[KarenMarieS]

Oh now look!! i was done posting here and , well Barb, Trip, C2, you gots me in tears!

Barb thank you! I really appreciate that! I think I'm the lucky one, well ok B is a bit too ha ha. I have to say that for a long time I really did think I was damaged goods, my ex was smart and a good person, if he said these awful things about me and couldnt love me, well I must be broken! So glad I got over that issue!
Its great being on this journey w/ you and the other rebels lol
Amazing women you and they are!
Thaks again Barb!

C2
My buddy
you will sooo find someone when the time is right , its an old saying but when you are not looking and least expecting, someone very special will come into your life, and like I have said before , for real that will be one very very lucky woman, as you are as Barb said, a living gem! You know it takes work at times to make a R work , you are willing to do that work!
XX

Trip
Thankyou! yes I am glad the fastforward has come, I remember saying those exact words years ago, when going thru the pain, how I wish it could be just fast forwarded, well it wouldnt of worked an i may not of appreciated it as much , so it really does all work out for the best. I hope you are having FUN!! lol

[Trip]

Hugs to you, Karen!
Barb is right, B is lucky. It shows in your posts and thoughtfulness to others. You were never damaged goods. You know that now.

And I am having as much fun as I can with this sore back. It hurts!

[Committed2Him]

Karen,

As I read these posts, it reaffirms how much these stories need to be viewed by others on some of the Newcommers, MLC and other threads. Unfortunately, well intentioned efforts to share with some on those boards backfire. People are only ready to receive something when they are ready to receive something (yeah I know, "how profound, huh?")

The happier you, Jill, Barb and others are, the more encouraging it is for the rest of us.

Thanks for affirming my status as a "gem" lol! I haven't posted much lately but I do know of a few ladies at church that see some of my "shine" but I haven't felt that sense that any of them are the one for me and I am content with that. Friendship first and who knows, maybe one day the lightbulb will click.

So, in the meantime I take pleasure in knowing you (and others) are enjoying life with special someones.

(Sat: Sanchez is still injured and may or may not play. If he can't go, Mustain will do fine and it will be a good experience for him- I actually hope Sanchez sits out)

Fight on!

[KarenMarieS]

Hey C2
Now see I didnt stay away! lol

Funny you say this too, I was just out w/ friends , we went to this outdoor market type place, well ok its Toms Farms, maybe you know it lol but a younger friend of ours from Kohls joined us, shes my sons age, she was telling us about her aunt, tad younger then me, whos H just decided to leave. Yup. Same story, the whole family is just in shock, friends mom who is this womans older S is just in a rage over the H. The kids are in HS and they are all so upset. It was like listening to a bad movie you see all the time!

I suggested some things for her aunt, freind says everyones shocked cause she is willing to take her H back, and no one can believe it. Oh I can I thought! I know that all i can do is suggest things to this aunt ( I gave my email addy) but when it comes down to it. Its in her timing.
Sad tho, hearing the story adn seeing a friend of mine hurt because of it.

Ok so, Do you think we can win w/o Sanchez?? hes good!! and a cute lil thang! lol Cougar alert! lol
Hope he dosnt get the virus thats going around! Hey you were there, Ry called me yesterday he has been struck! was sick all tues night , skipped classes yesterday but dragged himself there today. They said those at the game may be contaminated. uggh
Hope you stay well.
My poor booboo , he needs his mama lol

Thanks C2 you are so sweet. I value your friendship!

XX