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Quote:
Good news is that things with my D has improved immensely since our court date. I don't know if it's relief (for her) that it's over or if it determined the truth for her. Either way, I'm back to getting several phone calls a day, loving email msgs, etc.




YAY!


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Jill,

Soooo glad to hear about your daughter. Hopefully, that keeps getting better.

And as far as moving on from the board . . . that's your call. You know how to reach me if you want to, right? (Of course, there's no moderator in my email to stop me from saying and doing all those horrible things I get spanked for).

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I also wanted to say that I will be weening myself away from this board. I think once we get to this stage, we don't require a lot of help/advice from the moderators. Most of our time here is when something unexpected crops up in our lives and we need input from our friends and others that post here.

Like most of you, at one time this board was a life saver for me. Most everyone was going through the same thing I was and it was so important to know that "it wasn't me." I want to thank everyone here that has added value and, especially, laughter to my life in so many ways. You know who you are. Thank you for helping me at a critical time in my life and thank you for becoming such wonderful friends. I love you bunches!!!!


Jill, you summed up much of my sentiments much better than I could. Exactly why I really don't come around these parts too often. There are a few other reasons but they're best left alone cause it would be like spitting into the wind.

No...it wasn't "you" or "me." It was our looney exes!!!! You came out of it happy, alive, thriving!!! I don't know about you but am not planning on going through another nasty divorce!!! Dan is going through "spring training" for a lonnnnnnnnngggggg time with me and I with him. That's ok by me too. We're both a little feral after so many years of flying solo and loving it.

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Originally Posted By: qoe100

Hopefully, this will be my last thread. Unless..........I get married and divorced again!!!! ;\)


I feel the same as you, Jill! I haven't come around as much b/c I don't have the same needs as I once did. But this bb was a lifesaver for me and a big blessing. I've made some forever friendships and that is a real blessing to me.

And don't you dare say that about you and J...you know that's going to last! ;\)

Love you, Jillybean!! But you already know that. ;\) Keep that road trip open, Thelma. \:\)

SE


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Originally Posted By: keyzblew
I don't know about you but am not planning on going through another nasty divorce!!! Dan is going through "spring training" for a lonnnnnnnnngggggg time with me and I with him. That's ok by me too. We're both a little feral after so many years of flying solo and loving it.


This completely doubled me over!!! MG and I have lived together for a little over a year and I'm still nowhere close to thinking about M. I like having my own stuff and I don't want to ever share my money again. Well, except I have been sharing a lot of it with my D lately...........

Love the "feral" description. That's it!!!

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Originally Posted By: sadeyez
Love you, Jillybean!! But you already know that. ;\) Keep that road trip open, Thelma. \:\)


SE, You're one of my favorite peeps in the world. Even if you do fall asleep whenever we talk on the phone!!! Once you get out of your current business, we will take that road trip, Louise. We'll pick up Beth and drive on out to Karen's and fight over who's going to sleep in her new guest room.

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Hahhaha yea well theres the guest room, Rys room, the computer room, you can always sleep on the desk lol , living room and family room, oh and if you realllly want you can sleep in the pool, so come on down, one and all! \:\)


I'm w/ you too Jilly, I love B to pieces!! I cant believe I found him 25 yrs late! lol but am not rushing to walk down the aisle just yet, I'll know when its right, hes right now lol but he is as patient a person as they come, well about this, not about driving, turning on lights in the hotel room ect lol


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Found this post in another forum but it sure seems to fit here, doncha think?

See below:
I stopped posting more than a month ago because I was just so frustrated with the board. It seemed that it became something other than a place to turn to for support and answers. The board I knew valued introspection and goal-setting. Many times the light bulb popped on over my head as I read something posted to me. Many times I did not like the answers, but I always reminded myself that if something struck a nerve I really needed to examine it all the more closely.

Lately I have noticed a disturbing trend of "do not post to me." I find this absolutely ridiculous! It is not as if there are people here who post with the sole intent of hurting someone or making their life miserable. It is as if people are only looking for the advice that they want to hear. Doesn't that defeat the purpose of this place?

And really, if you are here to blog...ugh! Get a myspace account or something. It is usually the bloggers that start deciding who can and cannot post. Agreed, if someone is offensive or purposely hurtful they should be asked to be respectful or leave. These bloggers drone on and on about their lives and then get offended when people point out inconsistencies or troubling items.

I know that the first thing that people will say is, "if you don't like a thread, don't read it or post to it." Sure, that would be fine, but don't we owe something to the newbies? Shouldn't someone be the voice of reason so that the light bulb may go off for someone else reading the thread?


There are people that have been here for years that don't seem to be any better off than the day that they came. That is not to say that if you have been around for years that you automatically fall into this category. I think that a telling clue is if all of your posts remain on your own thread. If you are not out there trying to help others or posting to people that may be experiencing something you have already experienced, perhaps there is a character issue you need to deal with. Are you selfish? Is your self-esteem so low that you don't think you have anything to offer? Either of these two things could be a major reason your relationship is not going so well! And, maybe, just maybe the person who is pointing this out to you is not trying to hurt you but is trying to help you!

If you have been on this board for months or even years moaning and complaining about the same old things, maybe negativity is a major issue for you. I for one think that pointing out to someone how negative they sound is meant to help. I have refrained from writing what I was really thinking- "How can anyone stand to be around you... you are so negative and such a downer!" and tried to wrap it in a nicer package, but I have yet to see a person like that take into consideration that how they sound on here may be mirrored in their "real" life.

I totally understand that many of these people are depressed and need a gentle hand. But, at what point does the gentle hand become the enabling hand? Anyone who has been here for a length of time will tell you that it is nice to be given hope right off the bat. And, there is nothing wrong with that. But the same things that got you into the mess you are in will keep you there if you don't learn from them. And grow. And, God forbid, change.

Yeah, it is overwhelming to think that not only is your relationship in a bad place, but now you have to take some responsibility for it... ugh! However well-intentioned your actions, perhaps they are hurting more than helping. And the kind people of this board are here to read and to ponder and to point things out. Maybe they will misconstrue something. We're all human. But, maybe you need to work on your own communication skills, too.

If you have asked people not to post to you, I implore you to reconsider. The things that get under your skin may be the very things that you have needed someone to tell you. We all need the friend who will tell us about the spinach in our teeth, you know.

It is just so frustrating to see people mired in the same old muck for so long! And this new thing in which people are asked not to post.... is it the worst or what? If you can't handle a few typed sentences, how in the world do you cope with life? And, maybe, just maybe, don't you see that hiding your head in the sand is perhaps something that needs to be fixed about you?

So it seems that it's not just this forum where this is happening..........

Last edited by qoe100; 09/29/08 05:56 AM.
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Bravo, Bravo !! to whoever wrote t his post! Its excellent and very very true. I know for a fact that back in the day, the post that seemed harsh the first time I read it, was in reality the absolute most sage, on target advice I got! and I am so very thankful for the poster who took the time and cared enough to post.
I appreciated the cheers and hugs too but to helpe me propel forward it was those posts.

Thanks for sharing Jilly bean and with that I bid you a goodnight \:\)


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Jill,

These are the exact feelings I have about posting. I am in such a better place than I was about three years ago at this very time, when making my bed was exhausting, much less doing well at work.

I stopped seeing a "therapist" because we went over the same sh*t every week to the tune of $185! Although she brought up some good stuff, and helped me to see some things differently,
I told her "I was tired of the LIFESTYLE". I bailed on medications for the same reason. (Now it's just beer and Chardonnay!)

Our spouses bailed. Period. They showed us and our kids:

1. Relationships are disposable, even those where you vow to stay throught thick and thin. Glad I didn't have this kind of relationships in Iraq!

2. When things get hard, quit.

3. It's OK to have an affair if it makes you....."happy". I heard this twice from my D16 about how Smarmylawyerboss makes "mom happy". I can guarantee it didn't come from D16.

4. "Happiness" whatever that means, comes from someone else supplying it to you.

Even I have begun to post less these days. I have some free time today, because it is staff development day at school, so no kids are here.

If you don't come back to these parts for a while, thnaks so much for your support through my time in Iraq and when I came back to the same mess I left.

Love ya'

FLTC

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