Had such a fun w/e. Off with friends to the Homecoming at University of Iowa. My friend's daughter is the Golden Girl (baton twirler). We shopped and went to the Homecoming Parade, a pep rally, a Pre-game rally and the game. It was so much fun! My friend's sis (another good friend) roomed with me. She is also divorced. We spent more time laughing than doing much of anything else. Because life is fun. The bad stuff is in the past. The future looks better every day.
So, they lost the game but the spirit was awesome. We all went out to a neat restaurant where you can get any meal in a bowl. I had macaroni and cheese and it was GOOD!
Last night we hit the mall and had some retail therapy. Later we took my friend's younger daughter skating (indoor at the mall). The weather was the finest. 80-90F! and SUNNY!
I like my life. No, I LOVE MY LIFE! It is so good. So much better than it used to be. Because I made the choice to make every day count.
If I told you how I (and MANY other people) REALLY feel, I'd get shut down. Oh boo hoo hoo. I just can't see how someone who makes NO PROGRESS in 6 years can actually offer "moving forward" advice. Makes no sense at all. And in the spirit of this bb - this should be a place for friendships to be formed and grow, not to be trashed.
A good friend of mine from Iraq was from Des Moines, Iowa. Salt of the earth.
My life has been such a whirling dervish for the last couple of months, that I have not really had a chance to post to those who have kept me afloat from half a world away and closer to home.
I have some free time this morning, so I thought I would do the "12 step" thing, and post to those that I have just "taken from" the last year, and you would be one of those.
I really didn't post the whole weekend, because I was was busy with my son, as it should be. We had a ball. Love that kid! I go to visit my D16 in Philly tomorrow. She's in residential treatment now for the bulimia.
I stopped seeing a therapist when I volunteered for Iraq, and stopped taking medication as well. I was tired of the whole "LIFESTYLE". I'm sure you get that. I also seem to be posting less, unless a crisis hits, and I go into DEFCON ALPHA! If you think I am bad now, if you have some free time, look at some posts from me from September-December 2006.
I'm so sorry that you had to do it alone. I'm quite unsure how a parent walks out on their kids, especially a disabled one. Breaks my heart. My S10 is the center of my universe. I spent the whole weekend with him.
I wanted to say thanks for your months of selfless posting to me. I do slip back into being angry and cynical, but less than before. Just a condition of time, and help from folks like you.
It was of great help to me to hear from you, whether you knew that or not. I looked at myself at being such a failure, such an ogre for not meeting my W's. emotional needs. While I am certainly not Dr. Phil, I feel that I am a really decent human being, with the right priorities, and that some day, I'll hopefully find love again
I also felt that I didn't have a lot to offer in return.
You all helped me to see that a lot of that was not about me. I am eternally greatful.
Of course I told K that you said Hi! And she loves you back, ya know!
I told her we're all still besta friends here on the bb. She read a bit of DB and asked me who the "whack Job" was. She told me she is friggin' unbelievable. She's a nurse. Ha! Well, we knew that, didn't we. "Major attention getter with no life" is how she was described. And that was only a brief view in the concierge room on the pc since I left my laptop at home (YEAH ME!)
Oh, we'll be back in your neck of the woods before long no doubt. I love her so much and we always just have such fun together. Will want to see you and Ellie again. Maybe C2 as well.
Your post this morning has done my heart a world of good! I appreciate your kind words so much and am THRILLED to see you moving to a better place. It is SO hard to get there when all of life's horrors seem to be thrown at you at once. I coped by remembering I only had to get through one day at a time.
Yes, you have been through the mill. You are wise to know that you played a part in it (just as I did and everyone else on this bb). But we did not make the ultimate "BAD" choice that our walkaway spouses did. Still, we cannot dwell forever on what they did and stay in victim mode. We have to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and somehow make a new life from the pieces of our old one. If not for ourselves, for our children. Like me, you have had to endure the illness of your child on top of it all. But I always reminded myself that God never gives you more than you can handle.
Be strong, FLTC, and keep moving forward. I truly believe you have just conquered a major hurdle. I am so very proud of you and pleased to be your friend.