Today is a perfect September Day following a busy, but wonderful weekend. The sun is shining. It is opening day of the dance school I own/operate and the first year in nearly 40 that I will not be teaching classes. I began teaching at age 12 in a local dance school and opened my own at age 17. Yes I was an early bloomer!
Today I start back to my volunteer work at United Way as well. I have also cut down on some of my commitment there. I have worked numerous hours for them over the past 15 years and although I don't want to give it up - this is my year of cutting back in order to travel - one of my "after the divorce" goals.
Lobsterfest was a blast as always. I ended up filling the table at the last minute. I will keep my table for next year again and you are all invited to a fun night of pigging out then dancing it off.
Do any of you remember me talking about Lobsterman? I call him that because he gets me my ticket every year as he is a Rotary member. He has done volunteer work with me for YEARS and I have always had a little crush on him. He is very attractive, a professional and builds nice homes for himself to live in alone. For years he was the guy I wanted but he never made a move. And no - I do not believe he is gay - just content being on his own.
Well, he has seen me with Josh a couple of times and last year I introduced him. Most of the events I attend that he is at are during the week and Josh is in Toronto. He usually sits with me just because we know each other well. But last year he seemed kind of shocked to meet Josh. He was a Godsend to me when my H left me and often called to offer his help (he lived 3 doors away at the time). He also sat with me at social events as he knew I hated being there alone.
Anyway, Josh and I talked to him briefly on Fri night and he again seemed to stare at us. Then, out of the blue yesterday afternoon he came over. Josh had left about an hour earlier. He has never been to this house, though he is good friends with the dr I bought it from. He was returning a book of mine he borrowed last Spring. And he said he was in the neighbourhood since the grocery store is nearby. Most unusual to me since we usually hand off books, tickets etc at his office or one of our meetings or social events.
But the point I'm trying to make is this - "Don't it always seem to go - you don't know what you've got till its gone". Like, it seems to me that he always thought I would be available. Maybe I'm wrong and reading too much into it but it comes back to when you pursue someone, they shy away. When you let go - they come snooping around. Sometimes - that is when they want you.
I point this out because it is something we all learn when we're moving into the dating world and something we struggled with when our spouses left and became involved with others.
Of course this changes nothing for me. I would not flirt or consider anything when I am with Josh and I don't read his actions as anything more than being curious. What do you think?
So Josh and I shopped, planned our big trip and had a wonderful dinner with friends on Saturday. We swam at their house (it was cold out but they cranked up the heater and the mist made it magical) followed by a bonfire.
Last evening my dad, Brandon and I took Ashley out for a wonderful dinner of prime rib then back home for a cake I baked and her gifts. She was thrilled with her new camera and I enjoyed spending time with my 2 youngest and my dad.
So I have a busy day and must get to it. Just some "moving on" musings of my life today. 7 years Post Bomb. It DOES get better.
Barb-- 7 Years, huh? You sound like you have built a wonderful life. And I remember the feast-or-famine thing from AGES ago. I was very interested in a boy down the street from me (I was only 16). We did homework together, hung out almost daily. I had a huge crush, but he never made a move. One day, he told me about a great snowball fight he had--with another girl!! I felt like an idiot, said That's nice, and stopped hanging with him for the most part right then and there.
Into the picture, x shows up, about 3 months later.
Later in the year, I was over this other boy's house to study for a hard test - something that was still realitivly rare, now. He leaned over and tried to kiss me. What are you doing?! I asked. Well......I said, oh, NO WAY! What about those 5 months when we were together almost daily and you did nothing? I already have a boyfriend. He said he never saw me as girlfriend potential while we were just friends.
Is this a guy thing, that they are attracted to those who are in some way not available?
(Oops!!! I'll take a Raspberry Ice Tea--I need to wake up!!)
Oh, I have the best Raspberry Ice Tea and real raspberries to go in it! Welcome!
I think a lot of women feel it too. But it does seem to be human nature.
He is so darn perfect. Very attractive, professional, charitable man who lives in a perfect house backing onto vineyards. He is so nice. And polite. And would probably put his jacket over a puddle for me to cross. But he is just a friend and there is absolutely no way I'd consider anything while I'm in a wonderful relationship. I want to say "you missed your chance", but of course - I'm probably reading way too much into this. It still seems strange he just came over yesterday. I'm wondering if he came to see if Josh was living here.
Anyway, I liked your story and I remember those feelings as a teen too. Its far more painful than some people realize.
I think that guys are just a different breed. All these books that we waste our money and time reading just to understand..bunk! I say give them a case of beer and let 'em have at it. To me that's when a guy is not only at his most vulnerable but is most honest. So I guess I'm saying, get them drunk and then ask them everything you want to know..........
I think you'd have to get in line for this guy. One of my DB buds for the past 7 years has had the hots for his photo. And lots of local girls would love to land this one. But he dates nobody. Alas. And no "tendencies". Hmmm...
I remember back in high school the liaison officer that would visit told us to get our boyfriends drunk( f and when the time came) and see what kind of person they were when they had something to drink. A violent or a happy drunk. Things like that. He said it was very telling to who they may eventually become but without alcohol involved.
