I fell apart. I slowly got back up. Then I focused on working on myself and way I handled my interactions with my external environment. I try to live my life accepting that my external environmment is out of my control. All that I can control is me. That is still work in progress....always will be....
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What mistakes did you make
I buried myself in work and became a workaholic.
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What was your best victory
Still working on that one. I want it to be that it is okay to fail at something... I still feel a sense of failure that my M didn't work. It has nothing to do with The X - it is my own bruised ego... I am fighting a tendency to define myself by the failed relationships in my life - as opposed to by the successful ones...
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What was your worst loss
There was a time I would have had a long list of things. Now - this whole thing has led me down a path that has led to a life that is very different from where my life would have been had I remained M. Perhaps it is both a loss and a gain - the realization that sometimes you give something your best shot - and you lose anyway. And sometimes you think you have lost what you thought you really wanted - and years later realize that you needed to lose what you did to get where you perhaps needed to go. That same theme old of relinquishing control...
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Are you happier and why
Yes, I am happier than when I was married (hope to narrow the scope of the word marriage and add the phrase to The X someday ). I use to be far more attached to my point of view. And I use to experience angst when the rest of the world did not realize that I was right. These days - I think I am far more comfortable letting things go and have an awareness that there is no absolute right or wrong - just a perspective colored by one's life experiences.
And I am far more comfortable with who I am - well at least as long as I am living alone. The test before me is whether I am comfortable enough being me to be me around someone else that may not agree with all the parts of me - and know when to remain me or give a little...
My answers seem to change based on where I am in my life. These are my answers today based on where I am today - they will probably change if you ask me again in a year.
Hey Mattie Occasionally I look at the board. Doing a little Military training on the left coast for a spell. Otherwise keeping a low profile. How bout you?
"All I want is a weeks pay for a day's work" Steve Martin
Thanks for the update, Hill. I know if you can't be on the beach then being with the military is next best. I truly believe surviving will be easier for me once D18 graduates from high school. Lots of drama with her lately and I am just her dumb mom. I'll look for you now and then. I always value your wisdom and wit!
Well Mattie we are idiots until the kids live a couple of years on their own. Modern culture has for years protrayed parents as simpletons since the message of listen to your folks does not sell to the teenage market. I remember it being worse during the 60s and 70s with the Generation gap and my youth.
In the military you run into a variety of folks and many of the reservists are more unconventional than most of your corporate types. I talked to a gentlemen who aspires to be a charter boat captain in a couple of years and another who volunteers ski patrol in Colorado Springs. Against most professions it's a hoot.
"All I want is a weeks pay for a day's work" Steve Martin
). I use to be far more attached to my point of view. And I use to experience angst when the rest of the world did not realize that I was right. 
These days - I think I am far more comfortable letting things go and have an awareness that there is no absolute right or wrong - just a perspective colored by one's life experiences.