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Part of the DBing journey for me has been to learn that life has no guarantees. You just have to do your best and move in the direction you believe is right, regardless of uncertainty and doubt. In fact, it is often facing your fears and going forward in spite of them that ends up resolving things in your favor.

Sure, it would be wonderful to guarantee our children that their parents will never split up, that life will always treat them fairly, that they will live in a world without war or hunger, etc.... Just like us, they will have to deal with the ups and downs as they come. As they do, we'll love them and support them and hope they can learn a little from our own experiences and mistakes.

I stopped to think about one of our good friends here, inspiredJulie. Her M didn't work out, and she sometimes worries about how that will impact her little girls. And yet, I believe that she sets a much better example of steadfast love, strength, and courage for those girls than many other kids see whose parents who are still together. I believe the world is much better off with Julie's girls in it, and I believe that they are going to be not just OK, but terrific, in the end.


Thread #10
22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07
Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
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SD.....how are you? Long time no post. FIB


Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,009
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Life is good.

This really deserves a longer post, but in a nutshell, I stopped looking for boogeymen, and my relationship changed dramatically. Maybe he could always sense my distrust and so acted in the way I expected, sort of like law of attraction. I just know that I have been spring cleaning internally, and I feel lighter and happier. I can't worry about what H might do, because the truth is, he's not doing anything but being wonderful right now. He's going out of his way and comfort zone to step it up and support me and build our relationship.

Me, I feel happier. Lighter. Relieved. Carrying that load around took its toll. I can't...won't live my life that way anymore.

SD


Me: 40
H: 43
H had EA from 2/06-9/06
Bomb 5/06
Piecing since 9/2006
3/2008: Boundary setting
7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb.
8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
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Posts: 4,035
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WTG. Wish I had the chance to reach and grab that brass ring. Kudos and hugs. FIB


Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,009
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,009
I'm thinking it may be time for me to leave. This is like the last security blanket, and checking in every day, no matter how much I love the people here and no matter how appreciative I am of the help is keeping me from moving fully forward.

I can't stay in summer 2006 forever. I want to focus on here and now and life I have with DH post-bomb. I don't want to dredge up old bodies or look for old ghosts.

One last hurdle was overcome for me in the past few weeks, one big, huge, ginormous barrier between us, and H was nothing but amazing.

I have so much gratitude for this place and the people who helped me along the way. I know I would not have the R and life I have now without this place, this experience. There are no regrets, only appreciation that I was lucky enough to come through the fire a stronger, better, happier, more grounded person.

Thank you...really. I am finally living life.

SD


Me: 40
H: 43
H had EA from 2/06-9/06
Bomb 5/06
Piecing since 9/2006
3/2008: Boundary setting
7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb.
8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,841
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You know where to find us if you need to.

Best of luck - glad I met you.


Jeff

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I'll always consider you one of my best friends, SD. Your straight talk and terrific sense of humor got me through some of the worst times - thank you.

I hope you live happily ever after.

Rob


Thread #10
22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07
Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
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wow SD... best of luck to you girlie!!! Glad things are going so well. Thanks for your humor and help along my path.


I matter.

Me 32
xH 33
D7, D5
BOMB 9/27/06
D final 4/3/08
Joined: May 2006
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I will miss you ... I hope you find me on FB, I'm not too difficult to find.

I understand how you feel too ... having to let go and live that life ... it IS good to hand something back, but I see so many people giving great advice here .... and for me too coming here too much made me scan the skies for the next bomb warning signs. I am slowly, surely getting out of that habit.

I know we're not allowed to post any contact details here ,,,, but really really on FB I won't be too difficult to find, just think of a famous Irish whiskey


Bomb (ILYBINILWY, don't want to be married)Sept05
Seperated Sept/Oct 05
Oct 06 - H recomitted
July 11 - I am now a WAW.
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Aren't there a LOT of famous Irish Whiskeys out there? LOL.

SD...I, too, want to thank you for all the support you've given me. I envy those here....who stretched out really far and grabbed that brass ring. I envy those here whose S's were able to 'see the light' and value the very thing that they were about to throw away. I envy those that have finally reached their vista and can wave goodbye to the turbulent storms on the other side of the mountain as they see Emerald City ahead.

All I can say is....thank you.

FIB


Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
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