this is a happy thread. you are reclaiming your life you are going to stop existing and start living again. life is for the living. enjoy it cherish it. stop living your life in limbo.
The same thing I am doing while I stand for my marriage. Work on walking closer with God and becoming a better person. Deciding what kinds of things I really like doing and making plans to do them. My finances are not so that I can take on too much right now but I have plans for when I get things back under control to fly down and spend some time with a friend in Florida.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
those are good things but are you happy right now in your life? are you indifferent to your husband? are you able to "not" think about him?your signature line is very telling.
Why would I want to be indifferent and not think about my husband? I am leaving it to God and standing for my marriage. I am happy except for the financial crisis I am working my way through. It is hard to be too happy when you have no vehicle and you are working hard not to lose your house as well. I am content with my life. My sons will be heading to college, one for his senior year and one for the first time. I am looking forward to watching my son play college football and getting my rooms painted and redone. I have plans to visit my oldest son in another month and a half. I am thinking of spending a long weekend in Florida with a friend. I have lots of friends and honestly for the first time, I really enjoy spending some time alone at home. My life has improved as I grow closer in my relationship with God. I am doing what I feel is right for me and what I feel led to do. So if you want to hear that I am not happy because I am standing for my marriage, you will be disappointed.
Last edited by ANewMe; 07/29/0808:02 PM.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
I have a question for you, mainly for the ladies that post here as so many of you seem to be stuck or second guessing yourselves. So if you knew 100% that your husbands were absolutely not going to come home ever how would you change your lives>?what would you do right now to make yourself happy and to feel complete WITHOUT jumping into another relationship? what goals would you make and what changes would you make?
Good question, made me think... and then the answer came to me.
I would live the life I am living now. In time probably I would start a course or find a direction in life to concentrate on, for when the kids grow up, but right now, I am where I want to be...with my kids, with my friends, with my family, doing the things I love doing. Maybe the pain of not knowing would disappear and that could only make me even happier in my life.
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
anewme why are you so defensive about standing for your marriage? can you not stand while having a life also? it confuses me. are you married or divorced? and please take it down a notch I am not here to fight with you and i am not attacking you.
But if you drill down deep enough, every one of these things could be caused by someone's(however warped it may be) desire to find happiness.
With apologies to anyone who may have been affected by this - I heard it said once and tend to agree with the statement that even people who commit suicide, who take their own life, are seeking happiness - the freedom from the despair they find themselves in.
Now that I've cast a shadow on the 'happy' thread, I want to thank ANM for reminding me of what's really important. -Thanks.
those are good things but are you happy right now in your life? are you indifferent to your husband? are you able to "not" think about him?your signature line is very telling.
I guess I need clarification about what you are trying to say here. What is telling about my signature...this is what our S18 said the day our D was final. Legally I am divorced.
I am not sure why every time I answer one of your questions I am accused of being defensive...don't read anything into my answers just take them at face value you don't have to agree. I am one of the people you have told are "stuck". I am still not sure what that means. My life has changed tremendously since this all started but I am not ready to walk away from what is still important to me...an intact family...not just for me but for my sons and their future families.
I don't know why I responded anyway other than out of boredom because I don't have a vehicle and all my friends are working. When I try to take part in a discussion with you, I always leave feeling as if I was set up.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
so if contentment is the goal how is one to get this contentment? what must you do to reach this goal? would letting go help you to reach this place?what are the goals you have put into place to get there?
I want to thank ANM for reminding me of what's really important. -Thanks.