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Joined: Nov 2006
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,071
Boundaries? Find a way to decline--firm but friendly.

Tell him you need it--then say have a nice time. Something like that.

If he gets mad, that is his problem. If he can't be trusted to not walk off with stuff and it is fairly part of property agreement, then don't allow him to walk on you.

DB is not the only book that recommends dim/dark, but you may want to try a different tactice first. You might want to browse and see Plan A / Plan B on marriage builders.


M: 16 years
Bomb 4/07
OW 20s long gone
Divorced 11/09
I remarried New Guy
Cooperative r w/X regarding D

Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 12
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mlh78 Offline OP
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Posts: 12
So, I emailed him yesterday and told him that I'd be using the camping equipment. He didn't respond negatively or positively about that but this morning he sent an email asking if I would be able to meet in the next couple days to "talk about the house."

This was weird because, a while ago, we both acknowledged that neither of us could afford to buy the other person out and afford the mortgage on our own. When I responded to his email asking: "What is there to talk about?" He responded: "What do you think about me buying you out?"

So, his family is pretty well off so if he is going to be able to buy me out, I'm assuming that the money would come from his family. No big surprise there. But, the fact is, up until this email this morning, he has shown NO interest in our house, taking care of the property, etc. Now all of a sudden he's going to buy me out and wants to keep it?

And even if he got the money from his family to buy me out of my ownership interest, how will he afford to live there on his own and maintain it? I know that this "isn't my problem" but this just doesn't make all that much sense...

He can't afford to buy me out
He hasn't shown ANY interest in it for 14 mos.
He can't afford to keep/maintain the house

What's up with this out-of-the-blue push to keep the house?


Me: 30
H: 31
Together: 8+ years, Married: 4+ years
Bomb: May 2007
Divorce final Oct. 2008
No kids, 1 super-cute yellow lab
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