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#1460360 05/28/08 06:31 PM
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doa180 Offline OP
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So much has happened since I was last here -- good and bad but mostly good. So good in fact that I am thinking of moving to piecing. This past weekend was the best time we have had together in over a year. We had some family events to attend, and spent a good amount of time getting each other drinks, making eye contact and talking. We even slept in the same bed for the first time in probably 10 months and ml for the first time in almost a year. It was nice, because we spent all night afterwards holding each other. The next morning I had to leave to go back to work abd W followed me outside and we talked, hugged, and she kissed me like she meant it. I did tell her that I loved her, and she looked kind of sad and shook her head just a bit like no you don't, or why do you. I didn't get the feeling like before.

I was afraid that she would be sorry that we ml, and that the next morning would be awkward - but it wasn't. A few days later we emailed about the housing sitch, and she suggetsed that while renting for me is bad, buying something might not be a good idea. She went on to say that she does not want to do this forever, and woould consider moving with me. That is a huge step...

I had my expectationms at zero when I went home and am trying very hard to keep them low. I do not want to go nuts with ily's or putting any kind of pressure on her to move too quickly.

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Yeah thats good, hopefully you will be getting things back together for good.

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DOA,

Reign it in.
Relish the moments you had.
GO VERY SLOW.

This is on of those moments you waited for. Don't overwhelm her.
She is going to evalute and re-evalute what happened. The good changes you made need to stick, do not allow yourself to go go back to your old ways.

And...

I am very happy for you.

Now, when you stop floating on cloud 9, keep your feet, head and heart on the ground.



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

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doa180 Offline OP
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Thanks! So far so good on the expectations meeter. Today we booked a trip for her to come visit me (without the kids) for next month. Amazing... I have been tempted to ask why the changes, but I know better.

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There will come a time when you can ask those questions.
Once everything is solid.

There might come that time when the questions aren't as important as you believe them to be right now.



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

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I am keeping my fingers crossed for you. I truly hope it works out. Good luck and keep posting.


Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
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doa180 Offline OP
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Thanks everyone. You know Jack, I think I am there in terms of the questions not being important. It's not that I want to forget my role in what got us to where we were/may be... but through this I have grown and learned and am in a much better place. I have set my sights on a better and different future...

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Work toward that.

Your first goal: be a better person.
Your second goal is: whatever you want as a that better person.

And you thought all this was hopeless at first. ; )



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

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doa180 Offline OP
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I did think it was hopeless! And I know that we are not out of the woods yet by any stretch, but at least we both seem to be looking for a path.

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Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans
DOA,

Reign it in.
Relish the moments you had.
GO VERY SLOW.

This is on of those moments you waited for. Don't overwhelm her.
She is going to evalute and re-evalute what happened. The good changes you made need to stick, do not allow yourself to go go back to your old ways.

And...

I am very happy for you.

Now, when you stop floating on cloud 9, keep your feet, head and heart on the ground.




DOA -- congratulations!


Jack is giving you GREAT ADVICE! Follow it and you're a Piecer!


sg
Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
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