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well guys, today is almost over he moved out today and I'm still breathing. I got work done, handled d5 well, drove my car, got dressed, met with friends,, cried a bit,but I also laughed.

When does the pain go away?? What if he MARRIES this girl?? Those are the thoughts that are in my head. I am feeling like I will be ok money-wise and such, but my heart hurts. Physically hurts.

I cried when I saw a box of Ramen Noodles that he left behind (he always took them to work). what is that???

I didn't call him today and only emailed him once about a bill he had to pay. I actually have no desire to call him. I really don't. He needds to feel the ramifications of what he is doing.

I need to heal. I need to GAL. I need to focus on me and my daughter. I just want that tape in my head on loop-mode to STOP!! I keep seeing his face. I keep remembering good times. When does this stop?? Maybe it really is for the best that he isn't here. I don't have to "overhear" conversations with ow. I don't have to tip-toe.

This is so f'ing hard.

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You'll get throught this! Keep DBing because as they say here most affairs fizzle out. If you still want your M then don't file for D unless he gets really stupid.

I know how you feel because my H is gone too and everywhere I look and go there are memories of him and us. I guess the LBS sees things differently because we see the positive whereas the WAS sees the negative in our Ms.

Good luck

Jen


Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*

The end of the DB road
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Originally Posted By: maryangela
..What if he MARRIES this girl?? Those are the thoughts that are in my head....


Don't think/worry about that far in the future.

Focus one day at a time.(or 1 hour if needed) Will he get married today? NO!

Focus your energy on what can you do TODAY to become more attractive to WAS. GAL/180's/BabyGoals

Hang in there!


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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thanks ready2change! Great advice. I have to work today (totally don't feel like it, but I know it will take my mind off things). I actually work up today WITHOUT feeling like crying. Felt normal, almost. Of course I had to get D5 ready for school and that was "fun" lol -- but I don't feel horrendous, at least for this momemnt. I'm slowly coming out of a "fog" and coming into a place of acceptance. I'm realizing that db'ing is about ME and not "trying to get him back". At this point, after what he has done, not only to me but to d5, I'm not even sure how I feel,but I know feelings change and I WILL forgive him over time even if it's just the sake of our daughter.

The horrible feeeling is again, the little things, not having anyone say I love you, not having someone that you know you'll be watching tv with that night.

Acceptance, acceptance, acceptance. I can't stop him right now no matter what I do.

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Hi Mary - sounding much better.

What are you looking for? (i.e. why are you bumping your thread?). Seemed like you were just journaling?


Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7
Bomb 1 10/07/06
Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15
Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07
Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate
2/08 slowly improving
7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!)
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Originally Posted By: maryangela
I WILL forgive him over time even if it's just the sake of our daughter.


Forgive him now! Forgive him daily! Do this and a huge weight will be lifted off of you! You do not have to forget, but forgive him. He is a selfish place right now.

Originally Posted By: maryangela
not having anyone say I love you....


This site is filled with love. All the adives everyone is freely giving without any expectation...

Keep your focus on every positive (even the little ones) and let the negatives go....


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
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Do you go to church? If not do a 180 and start going. If you do go, Do a 180 and "really" listen. Move to the front if you sit in the back. Smile and say hi to people you never talk to.

Get there early and stay late...


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
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thanks so much guys. the feelings come in waves. I don't know what hurts more, that he "fell out of love with me", broke up our family or is with ow. OR the way my daughter is sad.

But you're right I have to forgive now. It will be a weight off me. It's funny, he's been gone since yesterday morning and has called about 7 times ("just want to know how things are going over there"). I've only spoken to him once. The rest were messages.

But I don't want to live this way, analyzing everything he does and says. He made this decision, let him live his life.

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Originally Posted By: Ready2Change
Do you go to church? If not do a 180 and start going. If you do go, Do a 180 and "really" listen. Move to the front if you sit in the back. Smile and say hi to people you never talk to.

Get there early and stay late...


MA,

Any thoughts on this?


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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