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A Message from Michele
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Re: Growing pains [Re: BethM] #1422385
04/21/08 07:56 PM
04/21/08 07:56 PM
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 712
believing_isaiah43 Offline
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believing_isaiah43  Offline
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 712
hey whatis,

just cruising through looking in on old friends. you're doing well (really) and i'm so proud of all you're doing for yourself. you're in good hands with all these great posters here, as you know.

take good care,
BI


Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing! Is 43:18-19

If it seems slow in coming, wait.
It's on its way. It will come right on time. Hab 2:3

Part 4
Re: Growing pains [Re: believing_isaiah43] #1422503
04/21/08 10:21 PM
04/21/08 10:21 PM
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,035
Canada
W
whatisis Offline OP
Member
whatisis  Offline OP
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W
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,035
Canada
Thanks Big Hands, Chicki, Being Me, Beth, & Believing Isaiah. What a welcome here! I'm gonna break out the marinated tofu for this occasion. Well, I hate to interupt the party with DB stuff but here goes. I just had an interesting convo with my XW, an unintentional 180, I guess you might call it. I picked up D's and before we reached my apartment I'd had three disputes with D14, I finally told D we would discontinue our discussions as they were becoming ugly. I then phoned W at work to pass on some of the details, as I needed her input on a couple of these items. So I went on with W as I stood in the hallway of my apt so D wouldn't overhear and she gave me her 2 cents (wow, she might as well be a guy, she loves to tell you what to do!). When our convo ended I said I had just wanted her input and "I guess I needed to vent". She said "that's OK, I understand, we all need to do that sometimes" It occured to me that this was actually a nice reaction on her part, who'd a thunk! When was the last time that ever happened? It's also in a way a 180 for me, because W was always the one needing to "vent" (hour upon hour!!!) and I was the listener (she used to say I was a terrible listener, but it didn't stop her though!). So all in all it was a very nice and different interaction between us but... I think I'll divorce her ass anyway!
Now, back to our regularly scheduled party.


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
Re: Growing pains [Re: whatisis] #1422778
04/22/08 04:31 AM
04/22/08 04:31 AM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 10,805
sgctxok Offline
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sgctxok  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 10,805
Just when you're starting to understand each other?


sg
Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
Re: Growing pains [Re: sgctxok] #1422885
04/22/08 11:51 AM
04/22/08 11:51 AM
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 9,929
Illinois
BethM Offline
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BethM  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 9,929
Illinois
So whatisis..........

What do you make of this change in the dynamic?

I've gotta tell you in the big scheme of things 6 months is not a long enough time to be healed. I sense in what you write that your head may say you're done but your heart hasn't caught up. Anyway, there's no rush, right?

So maybe she was just being nice, or you just caught her at a weak moment, but I would take it graciously because it's all good no matter which way this goes.

A change of heart? Only time will tell.

Love,
Bethie


"put me in Coach - I'm ready to play today;
look at me. I can be centerfield"/John Fogerty
Re: Growing pains [Re: BethM] #1422969
04/22/08 02:11 PM
04/22/08 02:11 PM
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,693
B
BigHands Offline
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BigHands  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,693
Wii,

Is a change of heart what you'd like? If it is, then keep on the path you've started with this.

If you're good with heading down the road away from the marriage, and all that, then, it really doesn't matter if she's having a change of heart.

Actually, since you can't control her, it really shouldn't change who you want to be anyway, should it?


What if Jesus knew kung fu? - Christopher Moore



Let he who is without sin cast the first stone . . . - Some long-haired, homeless dude
Re: Growing pains [Re: BigHands] #1422977
04/22/08 02:15 PM
04/22/08 02:15 PM
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,035
Canada
W
whatisis Offline OP
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whatisis  Offline OP
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W
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,035
Canada
I'm not reading too much into it guys. It was a little blip that was interesting, that's all. She sometimes used to throw out these red herrings and I'd think "maybe...", no more. I just appreciate pleasant interactions when we have them. It's a nice change from being a piece of furniture!
Thanks for you thoughts fellow Survivors \:\)


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
Re: Growing pains [Re: whatisis] #1422994
04/22/08 02:25 PM
04/22/08 02:25 PM
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,693
B
BigHands Offline
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BigHands  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,693
Agreed. It's nice to not be dirt. And as long as you appreciate that, I think you can't go wrong.


What if Jesus knew kung fu? - Christopher Moore



Let he who is without sin cast the first stone . . . - Some long-haired, homeless dude
Re: Growing pains [Re: BigHands] #1423311
04/22/08 07:06 PM
04/22/08 07:06 PM
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,035
Canada
W
whatisis Offline OP
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whatisis  Offline OP
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,035
Canada
Usually, afterwards she finds some way to be a pain in the butt again. It's like she realizes "OMG I did something nice, I better fix that quick!" I'm hoping this time she's just too busy at work to remember to be mean to me!


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
Re: Growing pains [Re: whatisis] #1423316
04/22/08 07:08 PM
04/22/08 07:08 PM
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 10,659
Minnesota
F
fig Offline
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fig  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 10,659
Minnesota
i spit iced tea out of my mouth

how true is that

quick before they realize I did something nice

jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepers.....

Aren't you glad we don't have to live that way!!!

Re: Growing pains [Re: fig] #1423335
04/22/08 07:23 PM
04/22/08 07:23 PM
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,035
Canada
W
whatisis Offline OP
Member
whatisis  Offline OP
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W
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,035
Canada
I'm glad! A good day used to be when she just ignored my existence. How sad is that!


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
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