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#1416794 04/14/08 09:11 PM
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No reason for the title of the thread other than I just heard this song and its stuck in my head. been awhile since I have posted on my own thread.( I am ryming and I did n ot mean to \:\) ) I am working away at the new job and loving it. Been fixing up the new house, one room at a time. My best friend is doing the decorating for me since she has a knack for decorating and I don't. Had to email X awhile back asking for a copy of a form from our old house so I could finish my taxes. When he emailed me back he did not asnwer the question, he asked me if I took his name off my car. I told him along time ago I did. uggg. So I did not bother to respond. I called the mortgage company and got a copy mailed to me. The X's can be sooo accomodating when the D is not final and they are trying to get you to go easy on them in court. But once its all said and done, forget them wanting to be helpful.
I am seeing someone.I have known him awhile. he is very nice, a true gentleman. As my stepmom says "very manly". My X was my height, small in stature and kind of fem. This guy is tall, nice build and has rugged looks. Anyhoo we have fun together. Altough he is into hunting, and I dont agree with it. But thats his choice, his hobby and If I dont like it I dont have to be around it. He has two hunting dogs who I love. His female and my male have a crush on each other ; Having a hard time trusting. He lives a few hours away so my take on it is he could be dating someone there and I would not even know. He says he isn't. Sometimes I say "whatever I don't care". Maybe having a wall up. I want to believe in someone again, I want to totally trust someone again. Will I be able to? only time will tell. Well thats my boring tale. Hope all is well with everyone.


found out about affair 8/06
H moves out Nov/06
D final 8/07
X re marries OW 5/08
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Courage does not always roar, sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day saying... " I will try again tomorrow".
-- Mary Anne Radmacher


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Champagne please!

Trip #1416824 04/14/08 09:31 PM
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coming up Trip! Thanks for stopping by!


found out about affair 8/06
H moves out Nov/06
D final 8/07
X re marries OW 5/08
_________________________
Courage does not always roar, sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day saying... " I will try again tomorrow".
-- Mary Anne Radmacher


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Well, your tale is not boring, at all.

So sweet about your guy and his dogs. Love the crush part.

Not sure about the trust thing but I myself believe that we can trust again. The right man will be willing to be patient and show that he is trustworthy.

Trip #1416833 04/14/08 09:39 PM
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He is very patient.. I guess all I can do is trust him until he proves otherwise


found out about affair 8/06
H moves out Nov/06
D final 8/07
X re marries OW 5/08
_________________________
Courage does not always roar, sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day saying... " I will try again tomorrow".
-- Mary Anne Radmacher


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Very true and I am glad he is patient. That is a great quality.

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Originally Posted By: shoeprincess
He is very patient.. I guess all I can do is trust him until he proves otherwise


Trust your gut. The walls will come down slowly. You are a survivor and no matter what you will survive.

Quote:
Sometimes I say "whatever I don't care".
But if you do care, let him know that it matters. Your honesty will encourage his.

Good luck with this R. It sounds nice and you deserve that!

A_O

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Thank you for the kind words and great advice A_O! Makes total sense!


found out about affair 8/06
H moves out Nov/06
D final 8/07
X re marries OW 5/08
_________________________
Courage does not always roar, sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day saying... " I will try again tomorrow".
-- Mary Anne Radmacher


Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 6,883
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Great words about trust there, A_O.

Trip #1416921 04/14/08 11:20 PM
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You sound great!

For what it's worth, on the trust thing...no one can prove without a shadow of a doubt that they're trustworthy. It's just not possible. Why? Because it requires us to believe them. And...well, after your experience, it's going to taint things for a time.

My H didn't cheat, but he was writing love letters to another woman that I found. Two years later, and I'm just now starting to trust him and let down my guard...and it probably has more to do with ME learning to trust that I can handle whatever might happen, valuing myself, and setting really clear boundaries. I trust myself enough to say what I need to.

So, be gentle with yourself for now. You were in a trauma, and it takes time to heal. It comes down to DBing again...GAL, PMA, detaching, etc. Just good life skills.

So glad you are enjoying this man's company and your life. Take care of yourself!

SD


Me: 40
H: 43
H had EA from 2/06-9/06
Bomb 5/06
Piecing since 9/2006
3/2008: Boundary setting
7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb.
8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
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