my story adventures of a WAW!

[buenosuerte]

Over a month ago i was a serious wreck, i'm much better now. probably has to do with working out again. i used to be a 6 day a week 2 hours a day work out gym rat and runner. i've managed to loose 49 lbs since my girl was born and actually went dancing a few weekends ago. shaky about the going out but feel i have taken control back of my life. my younges d is very happy - well not when i try to leave her for an hr a day, but that is a process as well.

i really don't understand how we tried for months to get pregnant, he was so excited and doting when she was born that he can let this precious time pass. about 2 months ago he asked me for a picture of her, i asked why, he said so then maybe he could miss her. boy after typing that it sounds horrible. i think i'm stupid to have faith in him after reading that back. i have a few more weeks maybe a month before i have to decide a few other things that will changer her and my lives...

[buenosuerte]

I am very happy for you to be getting invites from your W, i would love to have that. in time maybe. well we certainly have distance between us, my d and i should be on the other side of the world as far as he is concerned.

[ping1]

My W and I are in the same boat, in fact some of our friends are still just finding out about us and they had no idea even though they see us together at ball games. I talked to her a few times today while at S's games as she is at the beach with her mother, it all felt so normal, she was in a good mood as was I, I almost slipped up and told her ILY when we got ready to hang up as that is how well it went. Thank goodness I didn't do that. I had a mother of another player come up to me today and ask if W and I are S, I told her yes, she asked why, I told her because I'm an A$$, her statement was, "aren't all men". So she just found out and had no idea either, it amazes me, we can talk and get along great but we don't live together. Too much for me to figure out.

Christa, thanks for answering all of my questions, I'm sure I will have more for you. PING.

[buenosuerte]

ironic you mention that: a friend of mine unbenounced to me sent my h a msg on myspace. basically telling h that he was a loser, to leave me alone and that he and i were together.

why is it taht jealous has to be amotivating factor? i swear my h thinks i will be waiting for him forever and maybe his curious at this point and maybe threatened that some1 else would be interested in me, but not enough at this point for him to make real contact.

i do believe that he will make contact, i fear it and welcome it. it's like after my life is all put back together he's going to show up be interested and put me on a rollercoaster again.

i can only imagine that when my niece caught him driving by that was not his first time doing so. what would he have done if i was outside? what would have i done?

[christarn]

Hey all, just an update. After 4 long weeks of nothing, my H text messaged me last night. It was anything overly exciting...but I will take it !!! He said I had a credit card at his house. I found this to be EXTREMELY ODD!! Why...because all of my major cards have been changed to my new address. When I asked him a couple questions about it, he just kept saying, I think in his responses. Like, I think it's a card, not an offer. I think it's from this bank. It was just weird. I'm not trying to OVERANYLIZE, but I think, it may have just been a card offer aka junk mail, and he was looking for a reason to text!!! Which, I will take any day!!! There was no chit-chat or anything. I just told him I will be in town next sat, for family reunion and asked if it was ok for us to meet so I could pick it up (just in case it is for some crazy reason a live card...don't need that in his hot hands!!!) he said that would be fine....that's another plus. After almost 3 1/2 months of not seeing him, so I'm gearing up for that!!

Overall, I'm pretty excited!! Even if it was just a "reason" to text. He, after 4 weeks, messaged me...awesome, just awesome!! Hopefully, he will see some of my hard work and changes when we see each other next week. He's gonna freak when he see's my hair!! I had over 8 inches chopped...it was one of my big 180's!!! He always like long hair. I figure that was part of who I was then, but this is who I am now, I'm not "that girl" any more. So I chopped it!!!

Take care...so excited...couldn't hardly sleep last night!!!



hugs 2 all
Christa

[micoms]

Christa,

Good to hear H has contacted you, even if the cc was an excuse. Don't forget to "look stunning" when you meet him to get the card.

I've been away for a while, working on the house to put on the market. W has been coming over to help clean and get rid of 20 years of junk!! Things have been pleasant, even went out to dinner the last two Saturday nights. Not trying to see anything into it. First time split the bill, next she let me pay. Even had a couple of drinks and she came back to the house for a couple of hours after dinner.

Mike

[christarn]

Mike, glad to see you I was beginning to wonder what was going on!!

Glad things are pleasant in OH. It is a baby step. Take them as they come!!

We shall see where things go with the H! I'm kind of like you...not holding my breath!! Of course I'm goin to look stunna!!! Will probably even go by new outfit just for the occasion

hugs
Christa

[HOPEFULinCALI]

Christa,

I am so excited for you!!! Every interaction is an opportunity. I wish you the best of luck when you see him. He is sure to notice your changes, starting with your hair. How are YOU doing?

hugs

[christarn]

HIC~ I am doing well. I am anxiously awaiting Sat. it has been almost 4 months since I have seen my H. In a way, I really really want to and am truly excited, but I am also scared, because I have come so far and have done well being without him. I hope seeing him doesn't impact my progress, if that makes any sense. It will be great though for him to see me and see how far I have come. I want to leave him wanting more! That is my goal. I am praying hard and strong that I have the strength and courage to make it happen!

He past me in his truck the other night, he did a total head turn and looked right at me. I did a small wave. At one point in time, I would have text messaged him or called and chatted. I refrained this time. I was talking on my cell and laughin up a storm when he past. I hope it really got his curiosity up and made him wonder who I was talking to!

Thanks for checkin in on me Will keep you posted!

Christarn

[christarn]

So it's been a while, but have some news! H past me (in a friends car, carpooling) I acted as if I didn't see them, didn't wave...I was yacking on my cell anyway. He waved, like I said, different vehicle, didn't really pay attention. So, about 40 minutes later, he text messaged me, asking why I hadn't called him about picking up the credit card, thought I was going to get it saturday?? I said you must have misunderstood, it is this saturday. Long story short, we ended up texting back and forth for well over an hour...he even asked how I was doing..WOW!! Told him how busy I was with both jobs, and before I knew it life was going to pass me by!

I'm anxiously awaiting seeing him on Sat. time for my hard work to shine!!

hugs to all

christa