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Joined: Oct 2007
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Christa,

H is an electrician isn't he? In my area they work 7:30 to 4:00, could be that was the time he would get home, depending on how far from home the job he's working on is. He was letting you know when he would be there, I think hoping you'd stay and wait. Us guys can be kind of dense sometimes, just figuring you will read into our statements what we mean.

I'm back, was feeling down for a while. I realize my sich is going to go to a D before it gets better. I have seen a change in W but she's still in the tunnel.

Mike


M 51
W 49
S26 S25
D24 D19
Married 27 yrs
T over 30
S 7/12
D-bomb 9/26
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 827
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Thanks for the input Mike!!! I'm planning to go out this weekend with a bunch of friends from work!! Should be fun \:\) It's been very busy at work, so I'm ready for a few cocktails and an evening on the town!

hugs,
christa


H-32
Me-29
T-10years
M-4yr (10/04)
Me- WAW 1/07
I filed for D 2/07
D put on hold 5/07
H re-files for D 9/08
WOW! trying MC 10/08

"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
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Christa,

Do you need a DD? Need to take care of our cardiac nurses. I'd volunteer but I have to run calls tomorrow, then ref soccer games Sunday.

Mike

Last edited by micoms; 04/05/08 03:44 AM.

M 51
W 49
S26 S25
D24 D19
Married 27 yrs
T over 30
S 7/12
D-bomb 9/26
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 827
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 827
Driving from Ohio to drive my drunk butt around is a long haul!!!!!!!!! Thanks for the offer!!!!!! The bars we go to are close to home, so the taxi fare is cheap, or someone will only have a few early then drink soda/water and be the driver...either way, we will be safe \:\) vs sorry \:\(

I don't know if you realized on my posts, but my sister ran into my H last weekend at one of my bars....so I figured, that is 2 weekends in a row, I'd better get my poopah together and get out on the town!!! Time to dust off the hooker heels, dig thru the closet and find a cute shirt, tight jeans and a bra that makes the girls look good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;\)

\:\) \:\) \:\)
Christa


H-32
Me-29
T-10years
M-4yr (10/04)
Me- WAW 1/07
I filed for D 2/07
D put on hold 5/07
H re-files for D 9/08
WOW! trying MC 10/08

"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 473
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Christa,

Yeah, like I said we need to take care of our cardiac nurses!! You're killin me with the hooker heels and stuff. What about a short skirt, guys really like to see those legs. I saw that your sis ran into H. I think he's trying to "accidentally" run into you at one of your favorite establishments. Maybe post a GF in each of your hang outs and they can give you a report of where he's at so you can "accidentally" run into him, LOL.

Mike

Last edited by micoms; 04/05/08 03:58 AM.

M 51
W 49
S26 S25
D24 D19
Married 27 yrs
T over 30
S 7/12
D-bomb 9/26
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 159
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Christa,

I was wondering about the first few months after you left as the WAW. Did you shut down toward your H? My W left in January and isn't talking to me at all now. She only talks to me when she has to about the kids.

I understand that she is going through some stuff and needs space, but I wanted to ask you about how you behaved during that time toward your H. I am not going to do any dating and I won't be giving up on my M in this lifetime, but I sure would like to know where her head is. If you have any more insights I sure would appreciate them.

I hope you have a fun and safe weekend. You and your H are in my prayers.

-Bryan


Me-45
W-34
T-5
M-3 1/2
s-10
s-12
ILYBNILWY 12/26/07
Sleeping away from home at friend's house(because she says she can't get any sleep otherwise) 1/14/08
1/25/08 We tell kids she is moving out
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Bryan,
In the first few weeks that I left, I lived with my sister. My H and I talked on a regular basis. I even agreed to do MC. Looking back, it was a tit for tat, who could get in the lowest blow type session. I remember I didn't say much, and I said I felt as if my H was smothering me, calling and texting all the time...and how I wanted some space to make a decision. She told him to talking, texting, calling until we had our next session. We made an appointment for our next session, and I was all set to go....and the phone bill came. He had been calling and texting his ex-girlfriend, while telling me how badly he wanted things to work out. So instead of going to the second MC session, I went and visited a lawyer and filed for D. Not the wisest of decisions looking back. But hind sight is always 20/20!

All of that being said, after I filed, I had sooooo much anger and resentment toward my H, I didn't want to have anything to do with him. He called me a few times to ask me what I "wanted" and to see if this was really the road I wanted to go down. I would just get more angry with him, the more he bothered me. I think him giving up on me, and me seeing him GAL, getting the bike, and hearing our mutual friends talking about him all of the time really started to get to me. It was about this time, when I started to realize the decisions that I had made, were not so smart afterall.

I totally agree with your decision about dating. I am not dating either. For me, I think/feel it would be one more obstacle to overcome if/when we work our R/M out. Also, I don't feel it is fair to put somebody in the middle of this craziness, as the minute my H called, I would be gone. So as for now, I am just having fun getting back to being me, and figuring out just exactly who "me" truly is.

As for where your wife's head is.....I'm going to presume she is just extremely overwhelmed. That is how I felt. I felt as if we were simply roomates in our house. We had stopped sleeping together 6 months prior to me leaving. For us being so young, we had only ML 2-3 times during that 6 month period. There were so many issues, I just simply felt as if he didn't care, so therefore, I didn't care. We stopped talking to eachother. He would come home and stay in the garage. I would come home and stay in the den. He didn't even tell me he was going to go on vacation, I found that out from one of his friends, it was truly an overwhelming, emotionally painful experience. In 2006, he told me to leave "his" house a total of 8 times. Each time, put me closer to the door. And like I said, him getting a ride to another party, and texting the ex-girlfriend put the icing on the cake. That was in October, the day before our 2 year wedding anniversary. About one month later, I made up my mind it was time to leave. The holidays were awful, we spent them apart, him with his family and me with mine. I was depressed and was taking a med. that wasn't working for me. I talked with many friends/family and granted they all meant well, but I think I trusted people with extremely intimate details of my M, which I should not have done. I received advice from several people, even his mother told me to leave. The irony...now she tells him he would be stupid to work it out. So, I guess what I am trying to express is, your W, is probably overwhelmed, and isn't sure how to deal with all of the feelings she is going thru. She may feel hurt, angry and even depressed; it is truly hard to say. She also may be talking to people about your R/M, and her friends/family may mean well....but as I learned, they only get one side of the story, and friends/family of that person, will support her...and if she is thinking about a D, they will support/help her with that.(hope that makes sense?)

Sorry for the length! I had a good weekend. Went out with some girlfriends, hit all of my local establishments....no sign of the H. Go figure!!! The first time I go out in a couple months, and he'd been in town past 2 weekends, and nothing!!!

Thanks so much for the prayers. I will continue to pray for you and your sitch as well. It's nice to know I'm not the only one "standing" for my M. As I have said before, I will continue to fight for my H/R/M until God places it on my heart to move forward.

Take care, sorry for the length!
hugs
christa


H-32
Me-29
T-10years
M-4yr (10/04)
Me- WAW 1/07
I filed for D 2/07
D put on hold 5/07
H re-files for D 9/08
WOW! trying MC 10/08

"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 159
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Christa,

Never apologize for the length of your post. I am interested in ever word. Thanks so much for taking the time to respond. I am finding that I get a little bit stronger each day and that the only one who is going to be able to restore my M is God.

I love my W and will be here standing for our M for as long as it takes. I married her for life not just a couple of years and then go look for someone else.

I don't have anything negative to say about my W. I love her and will be here whenever she needs me. My kids deserve that as does our whole family. I don't beat her over the head with it. I don't even talk to her unless she initiates the conversation first unless there is pressing business.

I just know that at some point things will work out. I also believe the same for you. Hang in there and don't let anyone tell you to do anything other than what God wants you to do.

I got your back.

-Bryan


Me-45
W-34
T-5
M-3 1/2
s-10
s-12
ILYBNILWY 12/26/07
Sleeping away from home at friend's house(because she says she can't get any sleep otherwise) 1/14/08
1/25/08 We tell kids she is moving out
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 827
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Thanks B!! The encouragement it much appreciated!! Did anything I rambled about make sense? I hope so!! I am praying for my H, and our R/M. I believe in my heart that in God's time, it will work out. Hopefully sooner rather than later \:\)

take care,
Christa


H-32
Me-29
T-10years
M-4yr (10/04)
Me- WAW 1/07
I filed for D 2/07
D put on hold 5/07
H re-files for D 9/08
WOW! trying MC 10/08

"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 159
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Yes, of course it made sense. I know that we are going through some tough times right now and how long it takes to get each of our M's back on track is anyone's guess.

It is in God's time and I have come to realize that I need to have faith in him and I do. I believe he has promised to heal my M and I will wait for it. I wouldn't want to give up just days or hours before it would have been restored, so I will continue to hope that it happens tomorrow, but if it doesn't I will hang on for another day, and another, and another.

I neglected my relationship with God for many years and I believe that now I am learning how to repair TWO relationships. If I get the first one fixed, I believe the second one will follow.

Hang in there and keep the faith. This IS going to work out. I have really gotten to enjoy the rejoice ministries dot com website too. There is some great stuff there.

-Bryan


Me-45
W-34
T-5
M-3 1/2
s-10
s-12
ILYBNILWY 12/26/07
Sleeping away from home at friend's house(because she says she can't get any sleep otherwise) 1/14/08
1/25/08 We tell kids she is moving out
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