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A Message from Michele
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Re: Question: Car's Flashing Emission Light [Re: plentyhope] #1406356
04/01/08 10:26 PM
04/01/08 10:26 PM
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peacetoday Offline
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ph
HI
Does your H know you are standing?
have you ever actually told him?
peace


married 14 years
H 42
bomb 2/07 IDLYA
D final 3 /09
M ow D ow
Re: Does My H Know About My Stand? [Re: peacetoday] #1406563
04/02/08 02:55 AM
04/02/08 02:55 AM
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plentyhope Offline OP
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Hi Peace,
Quote:
Does your H know you are standing?
have you ever actually told him?
Why do you ask? Interesting that you asked. No, I have not explicitly said so, except during the first 2 weeks of S (before I found DB). AT that time I told him I would NOT accept divorce as a solution to our issues. Since then, I have done my utmost best to make him feel safe and comfortable being with me, and nurturing him by speaking his love language - physical touch and words of affirmation. Thi past Dec/Jan, he said he knew I was giving him space.. To me that means he thinks/knows that I am waiting for our M to be restored., waiting for him to bring up reconciliation. Do you think this isn't clear enough and that I should explicitly mention standing? It's interesting that this is the 2nd time in a week that someone has asked me a similar question.
-PH

Last edited by plentyhope; 04/02/08 02:58 AM.

PH's Thread
Re: Does My H Know About My Stand? [Re: plentyhope] #1406568
04/02/08 03:02 AM
04/02/08 03:02 AM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 7,941
SW USA
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MidwesternGirl Offline
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SW USA
PH and others: Do what is in your heart with regard to standing and realize that others feel while their intentions are good, they do not understand.

Just keep praying and believe me, you will see progress at some point.


The Bomb: 08/05
H moves out: 06/2006
H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07
H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08
H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09
Divorced 08-12
Kids: 22, 20, 19
Re: Does My H Know About My Stand? [Re: MidwesternGirl] #1406573
04/02/08 03:09 AM
04/02/08 03:09 AM
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plentyhope Offline OP
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Steelers, Thanks. I think my H is going to dog-sit for the 2nd time in 5 weeks! His response wasn't direct so I will need to confirm with him. Somehow I get the impression that he may want to go dancing with me... if not why did he ask me about my ballroom dancing out of the blue in Nov, and discuss ballroom music on TG Day. If I get muster enough courage (because it's emotionally risky for me - if he turns me down), I will ask him next Fri. I also have been wondering if he's expecting me to initiate face-to-face.... Just some of my thoughts so you understand where I am at now in my DBing.

A few nights ago, I had a good dream about being with my H but I do not remember any details - just knew I felt happy about the dream...


PH's Thread
Re: Does My H Know About My Stand? [Re: plentyhope] #1406608
04/02/08 03:51 AM
04/02/08 03:51 AM
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missmyfriend Offline
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PH, I am not a mechanic but I would imagine the emission light could have something to do with an oxygen sensor or your EGR valve or something else. It could be a minor issue but I recommend you get it looked at sooner than later so if it is something that could cause more harm to your car the more you drive it, the expense could rise.

Regarding your H, I agree with SF to listen to your heart (Holy Spirit?) for what you should do.

Hugs...


Me:56, W:51
D:26,S:24,S:22
Married:18
Bomb 9/27/06
Separated 11/27/06
Divorced 10/6/08
Leaving it up to God
Re: Does My H Know About My Stand? [Re: plentyhope] #1407025
04/02/08 05:33 PM
04/02/08 05:33 PM
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,152
ON CANADA
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I_Still_Love_Him Offline
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ON CANADA
PH,

Been thinking about you and since I'm home sick today, I wanted to take some time to check on my friends.

I'm glad to see that you continue to focus on GAL. You have so much going on now and I sense that you are feeling so much better about yourself and that is what matters most.

Why does your H contact you or not contact you? We'll never really know the answer but the fact that he does, he still thinks about you. Let him figure it out but do take the opportunity to show him what he's missing when he does contact you.

Hugs,
ISLH


Me: 49 - S22 & S26
H: 41 - No kids
M: 10/00
Bomb New Year's Day 2006
H living w OW 01/07; have baby 12/07
D final 07/07
Thread #9 - Hope Lives On
Re: Does My H Know About My Stand? [Re: I_Still_Love_Him] #1407125
04/02/08 06:55 PM
04/02/08 06:55 PM
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peacetoday Offline
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PH
I asked if he knew b/c Ive been re reading the prodigals perspective
He says how Charlene told him about her stand
several times he said he knew he would always be welcome home
and its just confusing b/c their approach is different from DB
amy thoughts?
peace


married 14 years
H 42
bomb 2/07 IDLYA
D final 3 /09
M ow D ow
Re: Does My H Know About My Stand? [Re: missmyfriend] #1407582
04/03/08 02:34 AM
04/03/08 02:34 AM
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plentyhope Offline OP
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MMF, Thanks for responding to my car question. I really appreciate your thoughts on it. I ended up taking it in yesterday. They didn't figure it out but recommended a tune-up. I caved in and went back today for the tune-up. Hopefully, it solves the problem.
Yep, I will listen to my heart and God speaking to me. Thanks for the reminder.
Hugs back...


PH's Thread
Re: Does My H Know About My Stand? [Re: I_Still_Love_Him] #1407584
04/03/08 02:37 AM
04/03/08 02:37 AM
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plentyhope Offline OP
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HI ISLH, So sorry you're sick today. Hope you were able to get enough rest and are better very soon.
Quote:
You have so much going on now and I sense that you are feeling so much better about yourself and that is what matters most.
Yes, I do feel pretty good about myself, even though tired from lack of sleep.
Quote:
Let him figure it out but do take the opportunity to show him what he's missing when he does contact you.
Good point about showing him what he's missing...
Hugs, PH


PH's Thread
Re: Does My H Know About My Stand? [Re: peacetoday] #1407590
04/03/08 02:43 AM
04/03/08 02:43 AM
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plentyhope Offline OP
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Hi peace,
Quote:
I asked if he knew b/c Ive been re reading the prodigals perspective
He says how Charlene told him about her stand
several times he said he knew he would always be welcome home
and its just confusing b/c their approach is different from DB
amy thoughts?
For me, the key is to keep praying for the appropriate words and actions to use. If we truly listen to God's guidance, we will know what to do. Despite what Charlyne said to Bob about her stand, remember that The Prodigal's Perspective (at the beginning of the book) states claerly that we are to pray for God's guidance on how to approach our own situation and that what Charlyne said/did isn't necessarily exactly how we should say/do in our individual situations. Of course, we should pray and read God's Word, and obey it, just like shed did. I am referring to the details of how she acted in each interaction with Bob. Every relationship is different and so is every husband or wife.
Hugs, PH


PH's Thread
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