Well she is moving home on Sunday, but has not given up the OM completely. She says that being home should help "keep her away" from the OM, but that if i question her on things it will build resentment. She says that being at home will be her carrot for staying away from the OM. So what do i do now? Just back off and hope that it ends? Plase help. T
TW - She let you know what she thinks you need to do.
Try it, give it a chance, and see what happens. Keep away from any expectations. Sounds like she's trying in her own way, even though it may not be EXACTLY the way you want.
Hang in there, and take care of yourself. Open arms, and open eyes.
I really don't want to be the bearer of doom and gloom either, but one of the expectations to give up will be total lack of communication with om. You were right about the addiction deal, view it as such. Even if she doesn't initiate contact, he might.
I'm not saying that this is something you should just roll over and play dead about. I just think you should be prepared for it, and not "react" to it. This is what the "open eyes" part is about.
Try your best to keep yourself centered if and when this happens. How you "act" under these circumstances could make or break your progress.
Remember, when in doubt, do nothing.
Hang in there, my friend!
JJ
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My wife has been home for a few days now and things seem to be going good. She ended things with the OM and then met him last night to return the last of his stuff that she had. She came home late and told me that they had met and she told me she that he is only worried about him self and that I have listened more to what she has had to say in these last few months than he has. She also said that he is an “emotional infant”. She said that he left in a huff and does not expect him to contact her. My guess is he will.
She said that she is not sure if her marriage to me is over and explained a little about how she felt. Empty, alone… She feels like we are not connected. She needs some spontaneity. We will talk about this more as things progress. She called me at work yesterday because she was having a difficult time with the emotions of ending things with the OM. I listened to her and told her later that she could call me anytime at work or where ever I was to talk. She also talked about some of the positives in our relationship and our family.
I know these next few weeks will be difficult and I will need to be extremely patient and supportive. She told me not to pressure her. I will continue to give her space, help take care of the kids and pray. I hope she can find happiness for her self and then begin to work on our M. We have a long way to go.
Hi all, Last night my W asked told me that she was interested in posting on this BB to help get support to get through this difficult time. She was having trouble getting logged in so I helped her. She choose the user name TWHopeWife so that her user name was associated with mine. I think that this is a positive sign and I hope that everyone gives her the support she needs right now. She had obtained the user name back in Feb. but has had not posted yet. She said she plans on starting her own thread. Thank you all for you support over the last months. Tim
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