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Hey Sir,

I haven't stopped by in awhile, but I wanted to say good on you for fighting for your kids. Phooey on your W for resorting to such a nasty tactic.

When is your hearing?

Nut

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Treese, good, I'm glad your girls are angry with their father. They ought to be. Good for them. He's betrayed them, too. They have every right. Good!

Nut! Thanks for the note. My hearing is in about a week. I'm a little nervous but in a good way. Like anxiety before the big game.

I wonder if I will be able to get my suit from the house?! Prolly not. I'll have to wear the jacket and tie I have, then.
(I still do not have all my clothing. Not even half of it. It's so funny I have a closet full of clothes that I haven't worn in 6 months. You go through life thinking "I need this stuff" but when push comes to shove, you don't really. I will say that I spent a bunch of money though, on new clothes, since I've been out of the house. It saves me from going there, and also it picks me up.

Today, I'm gonna write some really nice letters to my kids, to give to them the next time I see 'em. (I cannot send them email or write letters, at least til the hearing)


M 43
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Sir;

I will be rooting for you during your hearing..I hope all goes well...

As far as clothing...my H TOOK clothes he hasn't worn in years..that's what leads me to believe he is not coming back...go ahead and buy yourself a new suit...let your W see how good you are looking....doesn't hurt...

My d21 comes home on Monday...my son slipped and told my H and he really didn't even say anything...just unhuh...what?? Probably because he is ashamed to see her and afraid of what she might say to him...

and sir, I wrote my kids a letter while I was on my retreat to be opened when I'm gone...It's all about love and fighting for what you believe in.. I was sobbing writing it but what a gift to find when I am gone...to know I will always be there in their hearts where ever they may be. I love my kids and I know they love me..my D15 says I'm great and she has never really told me how much she appreciates me but wanted me to know how much she loves me...they take after me.

Anyway, I'm with you Sir....

Treese


Treese

H 49
M 45
D 23, D17, S12
M 25 T 31
01/07 OW H at my door w/proof
Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07
Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass,
Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9
11/08 pos.paternity




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Quote:
Today, I'm gonna write some really nice letters to my kids, to give to them the next time I see 'em. (I cannot send them email or write letters, at least til the hearing)




I will never get this. One good thing that will hopefully come out of the hearing is your ability to contact them.

HUGS

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to all:
this does suck bad. i am in same sitch as many here. all loss. sirprize- you gotta take a stand on that slander issue- good luck with it.

keep your heads up and stop thinking about what she's losing and just think kids and you. spend your money on camping equipment and setout to the woods with your kids and have fun roughing it, fishing, cooking outdoors just being with them. thats what i plan on doing simply thinking of making ever single meeting w/my kids a memory period. that is something nobody can take from your kids and they will love that more than material stuff. good luck, bitty

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SPM,

My friend it sounds like you are doing pretty well. It has to be incredibly painful to have your kids ask you why and I can completely agree w/ your situation when you say

Quote:
it is a delicate balance for me - to tell the truth without throwing her under the bus


I have this coming up for me as well, unfortunately. However, I am discussing filing a temporary order for custody so my W will be forced to share time w/ me. She has seen D 20 of the 25 days since the filing. Hardly equal time in any book.

When I was at daycare paying the weekly tuition, my D asked me "can you pick me up today, daddy?" It is obvious she wants to see me as well.

What day is your hearing? I work in a Catholic High School, so it won't hurt to add you to our list of special intentions when we pray before each class next week.

Talk to you later.
RTL
HEY - How's the ankle? I almost forgot to ask. Still big, ugly and sore as all get up?


M:38; D: 6
Divorce Final: 10/6/08

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The ankle is ugly, but the purple is fading. Today is a riding day.

My hearing is March 6th! Tell ya what, pray for my kids, wouldja? And please do pray for wisdom for the judge.

Prior to the hearing there is a whole bunch of legal paperwork back and forth. She files a motion, I file a motion, I file a response to her motion, she files a response to my motion. And then the responses to the responses. Oh gosh, who invents this stuff?

So anyway I got her response to my response. She is much much nicer in this one. I wouldn't say she is Miss Congeniality, I mean, it is still a filing in a divorce case. But she actually put some positive things in there. Like, I've always been a hard worker. She said she admired that. Like, I've always played with the kids, and they love it. This is in direct contrast to what she wrote in the original DVPO. Weird.

She is still sticking to the "Dino should not get residential time with his kids." but she is backing off the "he is dangerous" tack. She's much more defensive in this one, less accusatory.


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Quote:
Oh gosh, who invents this stuff?


The peolpe who get paid for handling it.

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but she is backing off the "he is dangerous" tack.


Wow, this is good news. I hope it stay this way. I will definately pray for both your kids and you.

Hang in there.
HUGS

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Thanks Grace.

I'm not sure why she'd be backing off her pit-bull mode. Couple guesses:
  • Her attorney advised her that the rest of her filings sounded like a nagging shrew, especially with the DVPO, and she wouldn't seem a sympathetic figure.
  • She is starting to think about the practical consequences. Her monthly proposal for support differs from mine by about $6000.
I'm not feeling really charitable at the moment.

Last night I dreamt of a lover. A future lover. It wasn't her. It wasn't anyone I recognized. Just someone I was in love with. And she was in love with me. How's that for a novel idea?




M 43
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Making it up as I go....
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This evening's thought bouquet:

Wife wanted out of the marriage. I didn't like the idea. I resisted. Wife pushed harder. Wife filed divorce. I started accepting it. Which means - financial separation. Equitable custody. Now we're selling the house, she's broke, I'm broke, we're spending all our money on attorneys, she has no idea where she'll live, and the kids are worried about where they'll live. Wife is now very stressed, not happy about the whole "gotta sell the house and move" thing. She's also not so happy about the "sharing income" thing. See, I should have listened to her all along!


M 43
S14 S13 D11 D7
Divorce final: Jan 2009
Making it up as I go....
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