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Bryan,

At least we can laugh about something..I like your response!!


Me 40, live in WAW
H 39
married 9 yrs
seperated 18 months, apart 7 months
D 4, 16
S 6, 19
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Littlebitlost,
I too, at times become weary of the limbo that we live in (together/not together) and lash out at my H. But, my H, like your H, sees this as a complete negative and it sets me back an entire week in my efforts!! It's extremely hard to live in the unknown, while we watch seemingly happy couples live their day to day lives. Some days, I do want to just give up and say I'd rather be divorced than wander aimlessly not knowing. But most days, I see the light, and I go forward knowing that I have to try my hardest or I will never be able to forgive myself.
Your children are still young, and like I've said in most of my posts...It's not easy when you're on your own and you walk...but when you walk with two small children involved its even harder. It's hard to decide what to do, but ultimately you will make the decision that's best for you...just remember...what the consequences of that decision may be..

Take care and you're not alone!!!


Me 40, live in WAW
H 39
married 9 yrs
seperated 18 months, apart 7 months
D 4, 16
S 6, 19
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HiC, Thanks for sharing. When is your intensive? Is it in Boulder? I have heard that she can do it outside of Boulder depending on her travelling schedule. I can't wait to hear your thoughts on her intensive.

Last edited by plentyhope; 02/06/08 04:10 AM.

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PH,

How are you?

My intensive will hopefully be on the 29th in Boulder. I was praying it could be this week or weekend, but my husband could not get any time off during the week and the intensives are only during the week.

I hope that things work out and we can make a weekend of it. It would be nice to get away and reconnect. I believe she also has intensives in Illinois. I will make it a point to come back and let everyone know how it went and what I learned.

Thanks!!!


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HiC, I hope the 29th date works out for you. I will pray for your intensive. Keep praying hard for the intensive. Have you heard of "The Power Of A Praying Wife"? Great book. I use it EVERYDAY.
Quote:
I hope that things work out and we can make a weekend of it. It would be nice to get away and reconnect. I believe she also has intensives in Illinois. I will make it a point to come back and let everyone know how it went and what I learned.
I hope you get to spend some time together. Keep the positive thought flowing. They definitely help. "Thoughts become things", from "The Secret".

I will have to enquire about the intensives soon. I would like to hear whether Michele thinks it'd be helpful in my unique situation. I have already had many many hours of DB coaching.
Quote:
How are you?
I am doing fine. Hanging in there, amidst a very busy work schedule. I have been thinking about my H, even though it isn't a conscious thing at all, especially when my mind is so busy working on work stuff.


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Originally Posted By: plentyhope
Have you heard of "The Power Of A Praying Wife"? Great book. I use it EVERYDAY.

I actually just picked it up a couple of weeks ago. I have been trying to read it everyday. It has been a great resource for me. I also picked up the secret some months ago, but I have yet to read it.

Quote:
I will have to enquire about the intensives soon. I would like to hear whether Michele thinks it'd be helpful in my unique situation. I have already had many many hours of DB coaching.


If you decide to do the intensive I hope that it helps to turn you sitch around. I anticipate getting more insight that I can share with everyone.

Quote:
I am doing fine. Hanging in there, amidst a very busy work schedule. I have been thinking about my H, even though it isn't a conscious thing at all, especially when my mind is so busy working on work stuff.


It is difficult not to think about our spouses although, it would worry me if I ever did. That is when you know it is over for you. Thanks, as always, for your support. This board has been a lifesaver for me. I am praying for us all.

HiC

Last edited by HOPEFULinCALI; 02/06/08 03:23 PM.

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So here is my new dilemma. What to do for V-Day? His sister and mom will be in town and I planned to get something for everyone.

Also, having to move out put me in a terrible financial sitch. At this point I am basically living off credit cards and between the two of us we have mostly depleted the large savings we had when returning to the states 2yrs ago (a significant part of that was buying a house). My motive for moving back to the house is in large part for financial reasons. Should I breach the subject with him? Since he has agreed to the intensive I don't want to put too much pressure on him.


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HiC, My suggestion is to pray about. I agree that this could be adding on the pressure. Remember to ask yourself "Will this bring me closer to or further away from my goal?" Since you are worried about finances, especially after paying for the intensive, would you consider doing something low key for V-Day? Like a small box of chocolates and/or a card with cute/sweet words for each one?


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hopeful,
I agree with your idea of not mentioning the finacial thing to him.. I would get him something small and thought provoking for V-day. When I want to give something sentimental and inexpensive, I usually purchase a book and write an inscription in it. (However, the book obviously needs to relate to something that will trigger the thoughtfulness of the gift) The local Barnes and Noble here on the East Coast had some excellent ideas and selections. Like I told Bryan, about V-day, I think we WAW now LBS should give the H's something that will cause them to think.. not mushy, but simply thought provoking. I hope that all goes well for you in the mean time. We all have a rough week ahead of us next week...It's a shame we all don't live close enough for us to get together on V-day..I'm sure that would make it alot easier on all of us!! Take care.

saus


Me 40, live in WAW
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D 4, 16
S 6, 19
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HiC, Be cautious in picking something out for your H. It needs to be safe and light, not guilt-provoking. You know best where he is at and what he'd find offensive or guilting. Only get something for him, if you're also getting something for the others. Do you normally get something for the others? If not, I would be careful about starting this. It may come across as insincere and "using" them as an excuse to also get something for your H. Try to picture your H's reaction and theirs.

SInce the S, I never got anything for my H for V-Day or our wedding anniversary or birthday. I only got him something small for Christmas because I got something for the boys, my stepsons. Getting the boys gifts for Christmas/birthday wasn't something new at all.

However, this year I bought some V-Day cards, which I probably won't be giving to him. I just bought them in case I decided to give them or decided to write them out but keep them with me to give him after we reconcile.


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