So for those of you that have known me for a while know that My X took one of our dogs, Kita. When he walked out in November 0f 06 he left me all the animals. He only saw them once in a while when he would come to mow the lawn. Well in the summer of last year, he decided he wanted Kita. He took her and I never got to see her again even though I asked over and over and he would alwasy say "ya I will let you see her" b ut never did. She was pulled away from the house she had known, me, and the other dogs. I think I had mentioned a while back on here that I had been dreaming about her for a while and hoped that she was ok or wonderd if something had happend. Well my home phone rang Friday night around 9:30. I saw it was my best friend and thought she was calling to maybe cancel our plans for Saturday. Well I heard her voice and knew something was wrong. She told me Kita had passed away. I literally sank to my knees and sobbed . She said she had just come home and checked her emails and saw there was one from my X saying "regarding Kita". he had sent it to like 30 people saying that she had passed on Thursday after her battle with cancer. My friend searched the names and saw I was not on the list but saw some people I still keep in touch with. She also assumed if I had found out I would have called her. She felt terrible telling me but I would not have known if she had not said anything. She was very upset at the X. She wrote him an email saying sorry for his loss but she hoped he would have found a way to contact me letting me know after all I was Kita's mom for over 10 years. She stayed on the phone with me until I was able to calm down. But I eneded up crying off and on all night. I know what the X was doing by sending out the email. he was wanting sympathy from people. Guess the OW is not giving it to him. So he emailed my friend back trying to say he had emailed me on my hotmail account leting me know. He lied to her because her and I both knew he had not. So last night I checked my emails and there was one from him telling me what happend.He sent it yesteday afternoon. he was triying to cover his butt. "Hey it's me, I just want to let you know that Kita passed away on Thursday. I didn't have to put her down. I think she had a siezure, then she collapsed. So I'm sorry about the bad news. Just thought you might want to know" Nice and heart felt dont ya think??!! This was my response, after an hour or so of writing nasty emails where I ripped him a new one "Tim, Lisa was thoughtful enough to let me know last night when you sent out the email to everyone else but me. I felt in my heart that if anything were to happen or be happening with Kita, you would have called me to let me know since I was such a big part of her life for 10 years like she was to me. To be honest, I have been dreaming of her for the past two months and I felt that there was something wrong, but as I said I really felt that you would have let me know. I am crushed about her passing. She and Kayla will always be in my heart " I felt that was calm but made my point. His response
[quote]I don't understand.....I specifically told her that I had your email address on my hotmail account. I would have called you but last time I tried your number it was the wrong one. Of course I was going to tell you. This is sooooo fricken hard on me. I'm taking it harder than when Kayla passed away. Probably because both of them are gone now. I hope Moosey and Pinky are doing good. Give them my love!
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First off he did have my number because he just TM me a few weeks ago regarding a bill... And if he did loose it he could have asked my Friend for my number. Its not hard to track me down. So he lied as usual, then tried to tug on my heart strings by sayin g how hard it is and then to have him mention the other two dogs and give them his love??!!! WTF? I was so pissed I almost shot back a response but have yet to respond because I think it will just be an argument back and forth. But I think he needs to know I am not falling for his crap. He should have let me know she was sick... He should have called me when she passed. He knows how much I loved her. I am not falling for is sweet and innocent act period. I mean if he had any balls he would have called me, told me she was very ill.he could have taken her to the vet, let me have time alone with her without him around or OW , that way at least I could have said my goodbyes. I just hope she kn ew how much I loved her and missed everyday. Something tells me also she died alone and that kills me. I am so sorry this is long and drawn out but I am a mess and I needed to journal. I am just thankful I still have Moose and Princess ( Kita and Kayla's kids) Thanks for anyone who reads this and please pray Kita has a safe journey to heaven and finds her sister
found out about affair 8/06 H moves out Nov/06 D final 8/07 X re marries OW 5/08 _________________________ Courage does not always roar, sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day saying... " I will try again tomorrow". -- Mary Anne Radmacher
For your loss and for the crappy way you found out and especially that you weren't given the chance to say goodbye.
I have complete faith that she knew how much you loved and missed her.
((((shoeprincess)))
I'm crying along with you right now. Hug her babies tight, that will help.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
Oh.. and yeah, I wouldn't reply. He's just going to hurt you more.
Focus on your love for Kita, Kayle, Princess and Moose instead. They deserve your emotion and thoughts and time, he doesn't.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
I'm so very sorry to hear this. My little Chanel (kitty) died a few months after Ex left. My daughter (13 at the time) called her dad because she knew he loved the kitty. She was SURE he would come to be with us. Nope - not even for his kids. Then 18 months ago I lost my precious kitten, Tira. Didn't go to him for sympathy.
Honey, they say the craziest things. Mine doesn't remember the cottage phone number, though we had the cottage for years and the # never changed and it is listed.
Your ex could not face telling you. He is a coward. I am SOOO sorry that he didn't but so glad you have such a good friend for comfort.
Our fur babies are like our kids. Taking her away from you was a selfish act from a selfish man.
Don't email him again. I did that for months. Always hoping for the right words, but they never came. He cannot say what you need him to say. He will justify his own situaion, but not comfort you.
Take comfort in your other pets and in your friends. And know that there are people here who understand and care.
If it is any help my animal communicator friend says they don't view death the same as we do and they pick up our thoughts. I'm sure she knows how much you loved her and felt you with her these past two months.
Just hug those other babies tight and enjoy them, they have such a short time here with us.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Shoe, I am so sorry. I know how much this must have hurt. I remember when XH came to pick Kita up and take her last year and how upset you were. This can't even compare and the way you found out, just so unclassy of your XH. Unfortunately, par for the course, however.
You were dreaming of her for a reason. She is at rest now. Thoughts are with you, carrie
Me: 41 H: 42 Married: 13Y, together 24 Kids: S11, S9, D6 Bomb: 7/11/06, now piecing
