I just read your previous thread... I am so very sorry that Tex turned out to be such loser.
I am also concerned about your safety. There is something VERY VERY WRONG WITH THIS MAN. Please cut him off completely. Do not reply to any emails or text messages. And I agree with another poster - place one of those stickers or signs that say that your house has an alarm. And please make sure that all of your locks are secure.
About a month ago, a person that I didn't know too well invited himself to visit me - and I say yes, b/c I didn't know how to say no. He use to call periodically and we had talked a number of times during the course of the past 5 years. I didn't feel right about the visit and shared my "gut feelings" with my C. My C told me in no uncertain terms to back out of the visit.
I too use to be "nice" and could be relied on to "do the right thing" and gave people way more chances than they deserved. Unfortunately I am realizing that there are people out there that specifically target "nice" people b/c well "nice" people unfortunately are easier to manipulate... I have had some bad experiences b/c of my "naive" approach to life.
I was also M to a physically and emotionally abusive man. I am starting to see how he tested the waters by seeing how far he could push me starting from when we first met - perhaps he did it subconsciously - but he did it. He targeted me b/c he knew that I didn't value myself - that I would blame myself before I would blame him.
I am sorry that you had to go through this. I am glad that he didn't show up. Healthy men don't treat women the way Tex treated you. I hope you really really believe in your heart that he had no right to treat you the way he did. There is absolutely NO excuse that justifies his behavior. You have had some "healthy" men post to you and point out how they would have acted as the Tex drama played out. You will recognize Tex-like as a red flag in the future.
Please take care of yourself. And don't be too nice. Being nice is overated.
Pam, I'm not sure how I missed all of what has been going on with your thread, but I want to make sure you know about my relationship with a sociopath. It sounds like you have done the right thing in deciding to lo longer have contact with this person. And if I've posted this link before and you have read it, sorry about that, but take another look.
He is testing your boundaries to see just how far he can go, what you would put up with, before he decides to take whatever it is he wants from you. Or maybe he's getting what he wants already, the power to manipulate your emotions.
People pretend to be sick because it brings out compassion in the target. These people get pleasure from their ability to control the emotions of otthers. Trust me, I know way too much about this. The one I was with spoofed his own medically induced coma and subsequent last rites via email from a "friend"
Here is a link to my old thread My Cautionary Tale. In it I give only a few of the details of my relationship. I won't be around for a few days, but I'll check in on you after the holiday. Good luck, you may wish to join me in my new improved zero BS and no benefit of the doubt for anyone who hasn't earned it policy. Wonder
Hope you are doing well and are starting to put this loser out of your mind. Make plans with family today or maybe go see a movie with a friend - ANYTHING to get you out of the drama.
I have not walked a mile in your shoes but Wonder HAS. She understands this better than most of us and she knows how difficult it is to "get it" even when everyone around you does and tells you. But hers is a tale worth paying careful attention to.
Today is a new day. The sun does not shine here but it will be wonderful just the same. I'm hosting my party today - can't wait.
am thinking of you! hope you have a good day, honey. I know your head must still be reeling. I like to believe in people, and to figure things out logically, too. its hard when things aren't logical, and when people turn out to be not what you thought they were.
take care.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
Thinking of you today. I know God will bless you with someone wonderful in your life. You must be one of the most popular people on this board judging by all the people logging on to see how you are.
havefaith
GOD HEALS HURTING MARRIAGESwww.rejoiceministries.org
I hope you are doing better today...I also hope you read the link that Wonder posted...your not alone...it is sad but there are people in this world who have no idea the pain they cause because they are so lost in their "pretend" world that they forget others are trying to live a "real" life!
Hey Miss Pam! 2 more sleeps!! use to say that to Ry when he was little, when we were counting down to something fun! Santa will be here soon! Are your fur babies excited? lol If i didnt feel so crappy i'd be more so.
I wrote you- I hope you do know that everyone here just wants you to be safe and happy, we are one big family here and if one of us is hurting, well we all get involved, so I hope you havent been hurt by anything written, me included. Please say Hi if you can!
(( Pammy ))
Be Happy for this Moment, This Moment is your Life
Busy day here in Barbie World. I'm having my CHristmas party and Josh is already on his way. He has a cold. When I asked how he was he said "Not Perfect" I told him he burst my bubble because I thought he was - how silly! He just laughed and said "thanks Barb". He has a nasty drive in the pouring rain.
Got my son's room cleaned as he is also driving in this from Toronto. 4 more hours till party time. I need to get the shrimp out and keep the kittens away from it. (I'm sure you know what that's like - LOL!)
Hope every day gets better and better after this. And I'm sending a prayer your way that 2008 will be "Pam's Year" - where every day is a new a better one.
