CM Are you ok with moving on with your life now that this is all over?
Have you considered getting some professional counselling/therapy for yourself to deal with this phase of letting go? You still seem very much attached to your ex wife even though she is now married to another man, you still call her your wife.
Hi robex
Thanks for your comments - I'm doing a divorce care course at the moment and have been through an extensive self discovery process with a counsellor...
I'm unsure what to call her exactly I guess - partly due to standing for my marrige for so long AND "ex" just sounds like a swear word (much like the word "divorce" does), ha ha ha
...and for the sake of this forum I can't call her by her real name which would have been my default choice
As I said, I don't think she would fit in with my new life anyway as it's quite different to what she knew and I do enjoy what I do now (the dancing) so much that whom ever decides to join me on this path would have to accept - it's been my refuge during this entire process!
I thought I would pop by on the eve of the 8th anniversary of the bomb being dropped on me (my 9-11) that being the 09th November 2014....
Many of you who were kind enough to proverbially walk this road with me (and for which I am so grateful you did)are now valued friends on Facebook so you will know what my life is now like.
More later...
For the rest of you - I am still single and have only dated for about 3 months (about 7 months AFTER my Divorce was finalised (signed off).
To be honest - my interest in dating has very mixed emotions for various reasons and part of me is a bit numb when it comes to "trying to put myself out there"
In the upside - I still have my dancing and for that I have been awarded Springbok Colours (Protea Colours) which has allowed me to represent my country (South Africa) in Latin American Dancing & for which I really feel blessed, humbled & privileged :-)
CM: Wow, it has been some time to see an Email pop up from this site. Certainly good to hear the dancing is going well. :-) Life has progressed on my end, am remarried and God can bring healing to brokenness, although the scars do remain(as you well know on the eve of your 8th).
Just commented to my wife the other day about this site and how every day there seems to be new members (as evidenced by HPoirot above) that come facing the same questions - ? When will I feel normal again? How long does it take to detach? How long should I wait? etc.
Unfortunately, as you and I are veterans to these horrible events, we know all too well there are no quick fixes and each one of us has our own unique journey to go through. And saying "eventually things do get better" is in most times 99% correct, but of literally no help in the struggle for someone deep in the immediate emotional turmoil of a loved one walking away...
To those new to this site: Engage yourself, make connections(lots of good ones here) and do as much diligent introspection as possible (of course hobbies like dance are awesome too ;-) ) - those things should keep you busy enough so you are not distracted by all of the crazy antics of your spouse gone astray.
