I have a question: If you don't keep him involved in the children's lives (e.g. a brief phone call once a week), isn't that going to push him further towards the OW, and have him involved in HER young son's life? That's my concern. Our S is 9 and our D is 13. The OW's son is 2 or 3 and my H has started picking up her son from daycare because the police dept. finally separated my H and the OW. (He is a police officer, she works dispatch.) He already replaced me with her; I am afraid he is replacing our son w/ her son.
Re: NEW DBERS!! dealing with MLC: Some things that help
#1224046 10/08/0705:13 AM10/08/0705:13 AM
I have done a lot of these things too. Husband just announced OW and bomb a month ago (there was a mini episode in fall and I think he has been depressed entering MLC for about a year). When I learned about her I was devastated and I started doing a lot of the things suggested in this thread. They work! Just yesterday H admitted that he was very shocked by how well I seemed to be taking all of this and that it actually bothered him a little. Said he thought I would not be handling so well and even though he knew he should be happy I was doing okay it was troubling. I thought that was a good thing! Here is a funny thing I tried that I have a feeling really spun his head around...you'll laugh, but I whistled in the shower loudly when I knew he was in the next room -- cheery/happy songs. No man who just announced an OW expects you to be whistling a happy tune in the shower. Even if he didn't care, I felt like he did and I enjoyed it!
Me 32/H 32 M 3yrs/T 8 yrs 0 kids and 1 dog Bomb 5/15/08 - wants to end it to pursue OW Seeing OW and moving out 7/08