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#1111256 06/26/07 01:52 PM
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 199
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Hi All,

I have a question for all of you guys, I probably know the answer to this, but thought I would ask it anyway.

How do you differentiate between thinking your actions are saving a marriage, and when you are being used?

My H and I have now separated, and we are spending time together. We have been intimate over the past couple of weeks.

He is still "in-love" with OW, yet is intimate with me.

I have told him this situation is not good for me, having him intimate with me and then professing his love for another, and talking to me about it, is really hurting me and making me confused.

He told me, the intimacy we now share helps him with us, and it is important we continue to be if we are to have a future...then 10 minutes later he tells me if I can't be intimate with him, he understands...

WTF? which is it?

I do not know if this is helping me or hurting me. It is wonderful when we are intimate, it is usually the next day when he sends me an e-mail talking about her.

ARGH!

What happens when the action you must take to save your marriage becomes damaging to yourself?

I really don't know if there is an answer to this, my councellor has given some good insight on these things, but I seem to find myself here constantly...in this limbo...

Thoughts, comments, advice, smacks with a 2X4 are always welcomed ;\)

Sigh #1111259 06/26/07 01:55 PM
Joined: Oct 2006
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If you don't feel good doing it, DON'T.


....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am
I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon
~ Avril Lavigne ~
..."Nobody's Fool"...

me=ok /D'd since 7/07
D=ok
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it seems it's hurting you more than it is helping. Of course it feels good when it happens, but then you put your hopes up in him and he turns around like nothing happened and talks about ow.

And how do you know he isnt' intimate with ow? the first things I'd think of is STDs

Can't you let him know out right how much it hurts for him to talk about ow? perhaps in some way he thinks it helps? perhaps he thinks he is being honest? be straight forward with him.


Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2

30something
2kids
survivor of S, MLC, A, D
I have peace in my heart, at last.

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

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