I finally remembered my pass word and thought I'd post my southern hello.
Wanted to let ya'll know that I'm entering my fourth semester of nursing school and hope to hold my RN pin in early January.
There's nothing like the stress of nursing school to take your mind off of your worries.
The "Sage" married the other woman 15 days after our divorce. She makes him feel happy and safe.
I saw them from a distance at my son's college graduation. He looks old and she had yet another shade of red hair.
Ya know, he looked like an old man to me. One that I really wouldn't want to grow old with anymore. This is a good thing.
My son had asked my permission to invite them to his celebration. I wisely told him that he was in charge of his guest list. I told him I really didn't care to have her in my eyesight and he and his sister worked out a plan that kept their father and his prize out of my range of view.
Time and my future will help me work through the emotions that I still deal with re another woman taking my place. I'll get there. When I do I will be ready to help other women find their way without their mates of many years.
My best to you all and remember to donate blood if you are able. We are in critical need of o-.
I remember you. Yours was one of the first threads I remember reading when I came here. There are so many people that have disappeared that I wonder about. It's so nice to see that your life has so many positives! A nurse huh? Good for you. I so admire nurses and even wanted to be one until I thought about the blood and all.
Well I just happen to be O- and I hadn't heard anything about a shortage. I will look into that.
Please check in from time to time and let us know how your life is going!
I used to post under another username over four years ago - mainly just lurking these days as my particular sitch has not progressed (or devolved for that matter). I remember you over in the Piecing forum with BRIDGET, KAW and the rest...
I'm very happy to see that you are going to graduate with your RN - and sad to see how your sitch ended up. Regardless of how it ended up, that OW can never take your place! And I liked the way you let your son know of your wishes at his celebration and how your childern handled things.
BTW - I am sure the blood bank has my number on speed dial as I am O-neg as well and they always have a desperate need for that type! If anyone reading is in good physical condition, please consider donating. It is relatively painless, takes just a bit of time out of your day every eight weeks - and it will make a difference in someone's life.
I hope that you do check in from time to time and share your insights.
Bob
Me 52, STBEX 52 D 17, S 12 M 20 years Em Sep since 2002, Phys Sep Sept 2009
I'm doing a summer class online and so I'll be able to pop in and out for the next month or so. When 4th semester starts up, my life will go on hold again while I immerse myself into transforming into a thinking, skilled nurse.
I used to focus my healing on trying not to turn into a bitter woman. Someone shared with me a bit about holding on to anger and bitterness toward someone who "chooses" to hurt you. When you allow yourself to do that, you are turning that person into an idol.
That concept hit me in a profound way and has really empowered me in my Transition into the woman God planned for me to be.
It took awhile (I was married for 32 years) but I can happily and safely say that the man no longer controls my thoughts. I'm in the process of giving over the woman now. It's not my place to judge her; He will take care of that.
I remember you BethM. I'll look for your thread(s).
I miss the people who helped me through the days of terror and heartbreak. Some I talked with by phone and others just by email. As I had to focus on the nursing, while dealing with depression, I had to put everthing aside. I apologise for not touching base more often.
Somebody, maybe Snodderly, said something about that as someone learns to cope and restructure her life, she does move on.
The bb serves as a safe port (here I go with my canoe anaology again!)where she seeks shelter and provisions. When she's ready, she'll paddle out, returning as needed. God willing, someday she finds another safe port, one with real love waiting for her.
I liked your canoe analogy. Aren't we all looking for our safe port? It doesn't always have to be found with someone of the opposite sex but knowing that we are loved and appreciated by the people in our lives who cherish us.
It's nice to see good people move ahead and to revamp their life into their own vision. I just read something this morning that I thought was very interesting. Someone wrote how many times it is the left behind spouse who comes out of this in a better position. I can see that. I believe that I have and so have so many others here. For most of us it happens when we drop being the victim and are no longer self absorbed. Sometimes people stay stuck and when you read their posts you can see so clearly that their lives will never be different until they get it. Some will never get it. They like being the victim and the center of their world. It's sad! You Lily are a shining example of how good our life can be if we take the chance and grab the brass ring.
Thank you as well for posting about the blood shortage. Funny thing about being O-. Everytime I was pregnant the first thing they would do was shoot me with rogam (I had 3 full terms and 3 miscarriages). It wasn't until the last pregnancy that we found out that my ex was also O-. No one had ever tested him and he didn't have a clue. Go figure!
Congratulations on working towards your goal, Lily. That will be quite an accomplishment. And with your RN, you'll be able to work anywhere you want, as much as you want!
Remember me Bridget-the-California-Guitarist-Wannabe?
Well, now I work in a cafe/cabaret in the mountains, and I'm learning Beatles songs, yes I can play chords and heck honey I might even sing...
The Wart (OK, The Redhead, being nice and all) married his current honey a month after our D was final.
Oh Lily my friend, you're one of the few who'll appreciate the irony: he married the LBS of his raunchy porn partner!
Indeed, they haven't got the sense to come in out of the rain, do they?
It took about 4 years to accomplish the D. I know I'm recovered, and I got plenty of muscles now, but the thread of depression still needs to NOT BE PULLED too tight.
I think we worked everything out, but I wouldn't say we're friends, not really. I am finally able to "go dark" easily. Have no intention of stepping into his life anymore.
I moved away from my old life and am really digging the new location -- new freedom -- new job -- new friends.
And a "new" older dog, Freddie -- just rescued him and he's a dreamboat.
Oh Lily let's talk on the phone. Email me at cherrygrrrlll@yahoo.com and give me your number -- we need to catch up.
Your ex was as clueless as mine. We could probably giggle all night over stories, huh?
I love you honey and I'll always be your pal.
Stay in touch and keep up the good good good work!
Lily !!! I keep missing you! You may have your RN by now ... or be close - let us know. It was nice to see some old friends post on your "Glimpses of Lily" threads. I remain in a similar limbo as sadeyez - still married - but not married - only my H still 'resides' at home - well during the sleeping hours. I am filing some financial matters now and we will see if that changes anything from his perspective. I have given him love, grace and time. I feel that I am in a transition and I know that God will lead me and always puts me and my heart where He wants it. I don't waste energy trying to figure out any of it - I celebrate the joy and refuse to let anyone steal that joy.
I found a note (scribbled on a napkin) while emptying the trash - thinking it was a work-related I started to set it down on H's desk - usually I read, put on desk and then advise husband and let him toss or keep - it was a rough draft of a note that I am sure accompanied candy - Gertrude Hawkin's bag on top of basket that I was emptying - the note was a guilt-inducer (like that works) H stated to OW how this time of yr means something to him - even though you (OW) have forgotten...blah,blah - and then something about "anniversary" - so I called H and read and then asked "...anniversary of a special betrayal of your wife?...how spesh..sh..sh..ul !" I think the relationship w/H and OW changed before the holidays - judging by increase in H's at home time ... and not buying/sneaking gifts... and no noticable gifts showing up for him... and from the note, I'd say I was correct. The note did hurt - but mostly I was angry that he would even have that in MY home ... so inconsiderate - what else is new - he stilldenies her existance ...but now I think the denial is leaning to the truth but apparantlynot by his doing.
It is valentine's day so he may be with her - My youngest and I had a great day and my grandchildren sent me wonderful cards - I have moved on without him in so many ways and I am looking forward to my future - I do want to share that future with a husband ... so we shall wait and see what God's Will for me is.
Take care and (everyone) remember Gods plan for you ALWAYS remains PERFECT! Faith, Hope, Love, LSL lovesufferslong@hotmail.com
LSL Girl You have been at this for a long time. I hope soon there is an end to all that you have endured. Yes sweetie there is happiness after divorce. You are emotionally divorced already. The rest is a peace of cake. I rarely think of my X-H. I just had dinner with my boys and their families. Oh those kisses from the grand-babies are the best. Take Care Sweetie God Bless
Hi Pam! I really hate the last changes to this BB. Having to sign in to move around and now easy way to move around. I used to do a search on 'LSL' or 'lovesu' and get hits and it was easier to catch up and respond - I just did a search on "LSL" and got nothing - and you have a post with that LOL! Sounds like all is well with you. Husband and daughter are on a "sleep-over" with grandbabies (39mo, 23mo, 3.5mo) - I have them over here but H is usually has to work (and isn't home til midnight so that is when he realizes they are here) - Fri he didn't come home his usual midnight - came home 6am Sat ... and youngest said he was on cell w/OW on ride to grandkids tonight - grrrrrrrrrrrrrr....yeah, great.
Well, this is the first time that I have been home alone where H and youngest are together - been years!
A few of my cousins and their wives and Aunt & Uncle go to a restaurant every Sat. - so I got dressed up and went - they were ther so I joined them - it was nice. I stopped and got some gifts for the babies and will mail out tomorrow as I already have the postage paid package - I planned on getting by V-Day but as my daughter said, they don't really know the diff. I came home, made some cards - very nice cards ... took my time and got the package ready to mail. I am going to go watch my Sat. night BBC comedies. Take care. Faith, Hope, Love, LSL lovesufferslonmg@hotmail.com
