Still stuck in Limbo Land

[MariS]

Journaling...

Over the past two weeks, WAH-MLCer has been up & down w/his emotions. One constant is his love for our child. He has been hot & cold w/me. Sex is still sex to him, no emotional attachment, no kissing, all about him.

I am much much stronger from where I was a year ago. Can look back & see how I have evolved w/my strength. Child is my primary focus, along w/family.

Our 11yr anniversay is coming up and at least WAH-MLCer is planning to spend it w/us. I told him that he didn't have to & created some excuse that it would be the last nice weekend of the season for us to go to our tent property. SO, we are going as a family. HUGE difference from last year.

Still need to re-read my books & continue on my path.

Have found the strength AND peace within myself, that whatever is thrown my way, I CAN HANDLE it. (since I have already been through the fires of hell) Calculated that WAH-MLCer's midlife crisis began around the summer of '03 and know it is still not over, if it ever will be.

Still thinking of everyone on the bb daily, sending prayers and positive thoughts. Will keep checking in periodically to update, otherwise... I'm spending my time w/child & focusing on me.

:-)

Mary in Austin - Please update when you can. I worry about you.
Hugs and more hugs to you and your children.

[angelica]

Goodness Maris - you are the poster child for handling MLC!!

I am so full of admiration for your attitude. Another shining example for newbies, remebering how you were, and how you are now.

A

[MariS]

Angelica,

Thank you, but I do not feel that I am the "poster child."

I can only hope the experiences I have had can help someone else with their challenges.

Honestly have no clue where my M is going w/our anniversay coming up & the D up for dismissal due to lack of prosecution.

At least WAH-MLCer has taken a more active interest in child and as of last night, actually snuggled/held me when we slept.

He will NOT discuss his out of state A from when child was born, or his recent A w/OW when he left us last August and doubt that he ever will.

Sending PMA, prayers & hugs to everyone here on the BB.

[maryfromaustin]

maris,

thanks for checking in on me. i am doing just fine. i'm keeping myself busy busy busy. just because my H is back home doesn't mean i'm going to let myself go. i've recently joined a gym and i'm keeping busy with my new venture. if only i did business where you're at i would post my website.

anyhow, i read about your D "magically disappearing". mine is still in court but they told us we didn't have to do anything at all. why pay all kinds of court fees when the judge can automatically write it off for no action being taken! he took me to the courthouse to disolve the divorce and that's when the clerk told us that info.

take care of yourself. pray pray pray for guidance. only He can guide you in the right direction.

[MariS]

Journaling a quick up date.

WAH-MLCer spend Anniversay w/child & I. I received a nice card that indicated things would work out, or so I thought.

Found out that WAH-MLCer's attorney has requested a motion hearing w/a special appearance w/a different judge. Basically looks like they are trying to keep the filing alive by shifting it to a different court. UGH!. He doesn't know I know. Trying to keep up the "As If" appearance. Especially since WAH-MLCer has been snuggling/holding me while we sleep at night.

THEN - this morning, his cell phone rings at 1am. He missed it, but I then heard the house phone. Figured it was one of his guy friends needing help....WRONG, it was that friend/OW.

WHAT gaul!!!!

At least I handled it smoothly at 7am when WAH-MLCer asked me in the what I was doing in the kitchen and I replied. Trying to figure out why XYZ would be calling our house at 1am.

Prayers please....

WAH-MLCer has come along way in one year and I don't want to give up on our family.

[angelica]

Maris - he sounds terminally confused to me! It is tough when OW calls on the house phone: making a fuss looks like we are givng them too much head-room.

My line was to say politely that it was unacceptable. Cell phones are designed for affairs, and to keep them out of the family domain, and that in future you would prefer it if she didn't phone your home. This isn't about him, it is about boundaries of acceptable behaviour. My h got blustery about it, but I said that the pohone bill was a family expense, and that I would not take calls from someone he disapproved of. He sulked, but basically accepted what I said.

Just MO

A

[MariS]

Angelica,

Thank you for your input. I doubt that friend/OW would do it again, but who knows. I have now moved the cordless phone to my side of the bed, just in case it does happen again. At least the hang up calls at work have stopped.

As for where WAH-MLCer is on his journey, not a clue. Would really like to shake the daylights out of him and ask ALL of these questions, but know it would scare him and make him run.

Oh what patience we must have in order to "As If."

All I can say for today -
WAH-MLCer has come along way from last year.

<sigh>

[MariS]

Journaling:

WAH-MLCer was in foul mood yesterday late/evening. Child even noticed and said that daddy was in a bad mood.

This morning, the house phone rang at 7:15am. I picked up and chose to stay quiet, just listen. The caller didn't say a word, but I could hear a small dog barking in the back. Friend/OW has a small white dog. Caller hung up. Needless to say that didnt hlep the morning. I told WAH-MLCer who was still in bed what I had heard and that I hadn't acknowledge the call, because it had said "Out of Area."

Now for the stumper - WAH-MLCer has informed me that a mutual long time friend of ours is having a mile stone B-Day and WE are invited with the others on a short weekend trip out of the country. WTF!!!?????

This trip will take place after the some court stuff in a few weeks, that seems WAH-MLCer is attempting to shift the D to another judge, in order to "keep it alive" in the system. Needless to say, I am now seekin legal counsel in order to protect child and I from any surprises.

Ugh!!

I know WAH-MLCer is not on his ritalin meds for ADD - his mood swings are to much.

Thoughts?

[MariS]

Journaling:

Just checked online the status of the D that WAH-MLCer filed over a year ago & never served me. Guess what??

It is DISMISSED as of yesterday!

The Disposition from the court reads:

Non-Suite/Dismissal by plaintiff/petioner

Which now means that the Motion Hearing and Special Appearance that was set for 11/15 is ALSO cancelled!

YEAH to DR & DB

Now the work begins again to show WAH-MLCer that he did not make a mistake by not serving and giving us/child chance. Just wish friend/OW would back off, but gather that will take time.

Should relish the small joy of the day...

[MariS]

Journaling:

WAH-MLCer has been to the dr due to not feeling well for a couple of weeks. Nausea, diareha, not keeping food down, head aches, etc. Naturally since he is ADD, the dr. already monitors him due to his medicine, but this time, extra tests are being processed. (BTW, I'm not planning to sleep w/him until the results are back - have a minor concern)

Wonder of ALL wonders, WAH-MLCer "had" to refrain from drinking any alcohol for a period of time, prior to the tests and while waiting for the next results, the doc told him his liver needs time to recover and he needs to lay off the drinking.

Kinda weird not seeing WAH-MLCer drinking EVERY night.... His quote was "I'm not saying that I'm never drinking again, but right now, my health needs to be taken care of." Then he indicated that he was doing it for our child.

Needless to say, I absolutely LOVE the fact that WAH-MLCer has been snuggling in bed and holding me at night. He even fell asleep in my lap on the sofa last night. (could say when THAT last happened)

Still praying daily and taking it one day at a time.
Focusing on myself, child and family.........