Hi Jeff - Sorry it has been so long since I last posted. I have been getting on with my humdrum life and have largely been enjoying it. Believe me though, there are times when I still go into a post divorce funk and find myself pining away for how things used to be. However, I found a recent post of yours to be profound. You wrote: "Our spouse has simply fallen out of love with us and feel as guilt-ridden about it as we feel pain about their leaving. Our board here is a place to rationalize our pain for something that we don't understand and find difficult to accept." After nearly a year of being divorced it is still difficult but it is certainly bearable. There are even times where I have been able to forget about it and really enjoy myself.
I am still dating but the relationship is not very serious even though we seem to enjoy each others' company. More ominously, she appears to be going through some of the same mid-life crap my ex went through so I have to watch out.
Please let me congratulate you on moving on with your life in such a positive and dignified manner. I also greatly admire the kind words you provided to our friend "Bleak2dismal." Your friendship, support, advice, and heads-up knowledge remain an inspiration.
I hope the summer goes well for you and the kids, and that things will progress with your ex so that you are able to maintain a cordial relationship.
To John...I've read all your posts. Time...healing. You'll be OK. Frank
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
I have not seen my kids in three weeks due to summer vacation but I see them tomorrow. I am looking forward to it. Emotionally I have been a bit down, sorrow mostly. Sorry for what could have been but cannot be. I hope the kids perk me up.
Saw my lawyer yesterday and she is reworking the settlement. Not many changes so it should be quick. Once the papers are final and signed, the judge signs and we are history. No need to even appear in court! The settlement is fair - I made out better financially but I had to accept the "standard" visitation 40/60 time split. But after doing the standard for a year now (under the standard court order) the judge would most likely not change it anyway. Price I paid for moving out to "give her space".
Oh well - quality time over quantity.
My lawyer is in her late 40's and I learned she remarried since I saw her last (before Christmas). Quick romanace, but the bad news is that her new H learned he has cancer and the outlook is not good. She reminded me how fragile life is and how she wished she could shake my former W to learn to appreciate what you have.
Sooooooo, life continues on. I hope it gets better for me and the others here.
John - long time. Thanks for keeping up. So old guys like us really can date again??? I hope you are in good health and your employment opportunities continue. Keep busy.
Jeff...taking a little break on mine but checking in on others. Life is quick and we know the saying 'time is a thief'. We should all enjoy it while we have our health. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
hi Jeff, First off thanks for keeping in touch. You know we only have this present moment to be happy in, then it is gone replaced by another one. We should try to be happy now.
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
An old Italian proverb: living well is the best revenge.
That's one smart Italian person Not only is it the best revenge but ultimately the LBS learns to find their own happiness without the WAS. I was reminded again today when my friend, who left her H (3 yrs ago now) had to let her DDs go away for one week with her H (yes still not D) and OW and know that it still hurts. She asked me if the pain of seeing her DDs enjoy being with their dad and OW and being part of a family which doesn't include her, ever go away.
So while she appeared to be happy when she walked away, she is still paying the consequences of her decision 3 years later.
Originally Posted By: Jeff223
ISLH: Sooooooo men are like Mercedes 500 convertibles???? Just how is that? Sleek lines or the horsepower????
Horsepower - to keep up with me Sleek lines - to catch my attention Purring engine - to whisper sweet nothings in my ears Nice body - tells me he is confident and likes who he is Open sunroof - tells me he is ready to accept and share himself with someone else Classy colour - grey or black and definitely not red - while I like a red car, it tells me he is only looking for attention and therefore is either very cocky or insecure (JMO and may not always be the case)
If I can find a man with the characteristics of a Mercedes 500C, I will have the man of my dreams (and hopefully the car too)
How is your summer going? I really hope you are focusing on being happy. We all deserve it.
ISLH
Me: 49 - S22 & S26 H: 41 - No kids M: 10/00 Bomb New Year's Day 2006 H living w OW 01/07; have baby 12/07 D final 07/07 Thread #9 - Hope Lives On
Long time no hear....(cough).....what's new with YOU? FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Not only is it the best revenge but ultimately the LBS learns to find their own happiness without the WAS. I was reminded again today when my friend, who left her H (3 yrs ago now) had to let her DDs go away for one week with her H (yes still not D) and OW and know that it still hurts. She asked me if the pain of seeing her DDs enjoy being with their dad and OW and being part of a family which doesn't include her, ever go away.
