He Finally Lost His Mind!!

[DownNotOut]

Hi everyone. I had some trouble with my other thread, things have changed, so I thought I might as well start a new one.

I found out today that my X married the woman that he left me and our children for. It took him 5 years, but he finally did it. Apparently, they had a small ceremony a couple of weeks ago. His mother wasn't invited---but his Dad and his Step mother were there (which didn't surprise me, because they are so buddy buddy--she's the best thing that ever happened to him after all.)

It's been two weeks--he has had the boys one of those weekends, plus a couple of Tuesdays--and he hasn't told our children.

I don't know who this man is anymore. I am so disappointed, once more. I honestly don't know what I feel. I guess that I am not surprised--after all, it's been 5 years since he left. 1 1/2 since he stopped really hanging around here. Still, I have this hollow feeling. I've cried a little--maybe just for what I thought my life would be. Maybe for the loss that I feel my kids have had.

Maybe it's that little nagging feeling that he chose her over me once again in such a final way. Even tho' we all know that there is nothing final about marriage. We learned that the hard way. And even tho' I knew that he was never coming back here. Still, I guess there was always that little crack I had in the door. Well, he soundly slammed it in my face.

I guess I think that he could have had the decency to tell me. I think that I deserved that much from him. We were married 20 years, we had three children together---and I have to hear this from someone else.

Didn't our kids deserve to hear this from their father before the wedding date? It's not like it wasn't planned.

He has our kids tomorrow for a bit. My mother told me that if he doesn't tell them tomorrow, that I need to before they hear it somewhere else. I need opinions on this. I think that they need to know--I just am not sure that I should do it, at least not without telling him that I am going to.

So meaning feelings rolling around. Maybe this will be closure. I wish that I could bring myself to wish him happiness, but I can't....not with her. That may be petty,but I hope that they make each other miserable.

DNO

[KarenMarieS]

HI DNO
First ((( DNO )))
Was just going to bed but your thread caught my eye.

I suppose saying I'm sorry is appropriate, I know if I found out, I'd STILL also after 5 yrs be in some sort of shock, and sadness- for all the reasons you stated.
It is one of those things that no matter how far we've moved on its got to hurt to some degree, I dont know of one person who has said it dosnt. Maybe there are some maybe because of what they put us through, its harder.

IMO, I would sit the boys down, and let them know, Would it be too hard for you to call your ex and ask him if he was going to mention it to his sons?? I suppose it should come from him, but he seems to be dragging his feet. Typical
You are right, you telling them before they hear it from someone else would be best, sad your Ex didnt think of this.

Eager to hear what others say.
Whatever you decide DNO, you will do the right thing and your boys will be fine as they have you in their life.

Good Luck and stay strong. We are behind you.

[havefaith]

I can tell you exactly how your kids would feel. My older son heard it from another kid at school!!! He said how humiliating is that? He said he will never get over that!!

In my opinion you (being the one of sound mind) should sit them down and gently tell them.

havefaith