I just hit "Send" on the following e-mail to the fetching Mrs. Chocolateeyes:
Quote:
Susan,
We need to talk.
What I'm about to say is extremely painful for me. I apologize in advance for the impersonal e-mail, but I need to get this off my chest and then I'd like to talk to you about it just as soon as you can.
You are still the most beautiful woman I've ever met, and I still believe you are "the one" that was meant for me. My respect for you has grown even stronger in some ways recently, and I admire you on so many levels. There was a time when I thought what we had was really special, that once-in-a-lifetime thing that some people never even get to experience. The reason I haven't had a good night's sleep in a week is because I've been thinking a lot lately about how in the hell we let that slip away. I share fully in the responsibility for that, and I know that for the last five years or so I've been no picnic either.
We were at this point 5 years ago, and we did nothing -- at least nothing permanent -- about it. Is it really not important to either one of us?
I think it's become pretty obvious that we're both pretty much going thru the motions of our marriage right now, and it's become painfully clear to me that you're looking for something (someone?) else right now. You are distant, and some of the things you say -- even in front of others -- hint at what you're looking for.
And it's clearly not me.
I'm sure it's obvious that I haven't been happy for years, and it's now become obvious that you're not happy either. I'm not sure what a "mid-life crisis" is, exactly, but I do take our marriage -- and our family life -- seriously, and I can't keep going on like this without you and I talking honestly about what we want from this marriage. I have some thoughts, but I would like to hear yours first.
Are you unhappy, or am I all wet here? I would appreciate an honest answer, and hope you'd agree that I deserve at least that. I cannot live in an affection-less marriage much longer. This is killing me.
Paul
I'm not sure if I worded it properly. I edited. I re-edited. I thought about just saving it, and seeing how it felt in the morning.
Then I thought about my kids, and about me, and my wife, and about how we ALL deserve my best effort here.
And so I sent it.
Please pray for my marriage, if you're so inclined. This is gonna get a whole lot worse before it gets better (if it ever does).
30 seconds after hitting "Send" on the e-mail, my wife put CMT on, and the following video came on:
Separate Ways - Rick Trevino
He was never much for shopping. But you’d always see him with her at the store. She was never much for football. She’d sit there and pretend she wasn’t bored You saw one you saw the other. Like a two lane Texas highway straight and true. But just over that horizon the road that they were riding split in two.
Separate ways, his and hers A love that went from great to good to bad to worse Separate lives, what a waste The last thing they ever did together was go their separate ways
It really scares me baby. How easily that good love slipped away. Let’s remember that forever is something that we should work at everyday. And after all those years together, it killed me when I saw their love go bad. So let’s hold on to each other and don’t end up like my mother and my dad.
Separate ways his and hers. A love that went from great to good to bad to worse. Separate lives what a waste. The last thing they ever did together was go their separate ways
Yeah the last thing they ever did together Will haunt me forever and ever Let’s promise one another that we’ll never go our separate ways.
Here's hoping you get at least some dialog out of the email
Good luck
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
I'm afraid that my wife -- the woman that I gave my heart to 24 years ago, and who I still love very deeply in a place inside, down past the hurt and anger and resentment -- I'm afraid that she will vocalize what her lack of physical touch and desire has been telling me for most of the past 20 years.
I'm afraid she'll tell me the words I haven't wanted to hear, the words that are going to tear my heart apart:
I'm afraid she'll say that she's just not attracted to me anymore. That maybe she's wanted to be, but it's just not there.
We're pulling for ya Choc and maybe, just maybe, she won't say those things to you
Hang in there
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
Choc wrote: "No very "alpha," yeah, I know. But I'm bloody terrified nonetheless."
Bullstuff. That is the first alpha thing you have done.
Being alpha doesn't mean you are fearless, it means you do what needs to be done even when you are terrified.
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
