I have my good days and bad. Mostly in the morning. But What I did was think about what changed my mood to bad/depressed/ I found that even though I was interested in finding out when my W called the OM Every time I looked at the minutes on line and found things like she just talked to him 15 min ago I would be all down and depressed. So now I’m not denying she is calling I just don’t check it. I am going away for a week with my son and I may check at that time just to see if the phone calls stop. That means they are meeting no need to call on the phone.
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
By the way, even "good" and "happy" marriages can have affairs. If you get a chance take a look at the book. "Not 'Just Friends'" by Shirley Glass. It has a lot of interesting research and it helped me understand affairs much better. http://www.amazon.com/Not-Just-Friends-Relationship-Infidelity/dp/074322549X
Husband, I'm glad to hear you're doing some things for yourself. Have a great time with your son. I think it's wonderful he's your best friend, but do try and make some more buddies. Maybe join a poker group, find a church with social groups, get together with some guys from work, etc...
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
yea it use to drive me nuts before my husband moved out that he would sit on the couch and text her and he would check his phone several times during the night to make sure he would not miss a text from her. let me tell you i do NOT miss those things. i do not even want the guy that left back. I want the man that i married back. I want my best friend back. now that he has moved out i feel that he more of a stranger than when he was here. I don't even know what to talk to him about when he comes to see the kids. the sad part is that it has been 16 days since he has moved out. he has only seen the kids three times since he has moved out. the really sad part is that if you add up those three times it would not even equal and hour that he has spent with the kids. i dont even know what to say anymore when they ask when they r going to see there dad or why wont he spend any time with them.
me-30 h-38 m-11 yrs s-6 s-7 ss-13 h left-april 21,2007 found out of ea april 1, 2007
guys i need advice. my husband and i have not talked since sunday. he just texted me and told me that sunday night he tried to commit suicide and luckly the ow came to check on him bc he wouldn't answer his phone and saved him. how am i suppose to respond to that. he doesn't always answer my phone calls so i guess it would be easy for her to realize that something is wrong bc he always answers hers. yes i am upset right now how do i respond?
me-30 h-38 m-11 yrs s-6 s-7 ss-13 h left-april 21,2007 found out of ea april 1, 2007
I know it is so hard to do but just be supportive to him when he contacts you. The age difference will really get in the way eventually. Take care of yourself and the boys and pray. God will take care of the situation for you. Just be your husbands friend right now. It sounds like he is going through a very bad time.
God Bless, havefaith
GOD HEALS HURTING MARRIAGESwww.rejoiceministries.org
my family says that my h is just doing this stuff to get to me bc i am getting on with my life and he feels that he is no longer in control of me and he is trying to gain control of me back. how do i be a friend w/o giving him the control back?
me-30 h-38 m-11 yrs s-6 s-7 ss-13 h left-april 21,2007 found out of ea april 1, 2007
The only way to do this is to step away from sharing everything with your family. I know this is very hard but it is the only way to get through all of this. You do not yet realize how strong you are. Believe in yourself and stop sharing all the things he says and does to you with your family. They try to help you but they are only adding to your stress. Take it from me I know. Come here to vent and step away from family and friends. They do not know how you feel and they are only going to say bad things about him. This is only natural. Go to a counselor who will remain objective to your situation and most important go to God.
havefaith
GOD HEALS HURTING MARRIAGESwww.rejoiceministries.org
Have other friends controlled you in the past? You can be nice, friendly and supportive without losing your strength and happiness. Give kindness without expectations, be a listening ear if he needs you. But don't expect anything from him so that whatever he does or says won't hurt you. He's in a funny place right now, obviously VERY depressed, so he may do or say some crazy things. When you are talking with him ask lots of neutral non-relationship, non-OW questions, What has he been doing? How is he feeling? What does he think about that? Etc.... let him pour out words and just keep listening.
Be a friend by letting him know that if he needs to talk he can call, or go for a walk with you (make sure you are taking lots of walks to get your own endorphins -- the happiness hormones! --- in full swing).
Yes, like Havefaith points out, don't share everything with your family or expect useful advice from them.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
my h told me yesterday that he tried to commit suicide over the weekends bc of his problems. then he told me last night that it wont be long b4 he is out of mine and the kids lives before we know it. how am i suppose to deal with this? it was his choice to leave and be with the ow. i begged him to stay. but since he has left i only talk to him when he textsme or calls. he has never been the suicidal type. how do i deal with this? what if this is his way of getting me to come to him whenever he wants me? but what if he is really having a hard time and needs help? i dont know what to do? does anyone have any suggestions?
me-30 h-38 m-11 yrs s-6 s-7 ss-13 h left-april 21,2007 found out of ea april 1, 2007
my h told me yesterday that he tried to commit suicide over the weekends bc of his problems. then he told me last night that it wont be long b4 he is out of mine and the kids lives before we know it. how am i suppose to deal with this? it was his choice to leave and be with the ow. i begged him to stay. but since he has left i only talk to him when he textsme or calls. he has never been the suicidal type. how do i deal with this? what if this is his way of getting me to come to him whenever he wants me? but what if he is really having a hard time and needs help? i dont know what to do? does anyone have any suggestions?
me-30 h-38 m-11 yrs s-6 s-7 ss-13 h left-april 21,2007 found out of ea april 1, 2007
