Fare thee well Trading all our words for tea and sympathy Wonder why we tried for things that could never be Play our hearts lament, like an unrehearsed symphony
Not intend To leave this castle full of empty rooms Our love the captive in the tower never rescued And all the victory songs Seem to be playing out of tune
'Cause it's not the way that it has to be Don't trade our love for tea and sympathy, no And it's not the way that it has to be
You begin And all your words fall to the floor and break like china cups And the waitress grabs a broom and tries to sweep them up I reach for my tea and slowly drink in
'Cause it's not the way that it has to be Don't trade our love for tea and sympathy, no And it's not the way that it has to be Don't trade our love for tea and sympathy (don't trade)
Fare thee well Words the bag of leaves that fill my head I could taste the bitterness and call the waitress instead 'Cause she holds the answer, Smiles and asks one teaspoon or two
Don't trade us for tea and Sympathy
We can work it out
Will be back later, but was shocked to be locked (rhyme!)
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Is 43:18-19
If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time. Hab 2:3
Yes, I'd like to get perspective, too. I'm working this out for myself by sharing my own DB experiences.
I haven't posted my long situation yet but will muster up the courage to do so pretty soon.
I come here to encourage others. But it breaks my heart to read people's stories. It really does. I know the pain of freaking out and feeling like your whole world is upside down. I know the weirdness of talking to a Christian spouse and suddenly realizing that nothing Jesus said about divorce seems to matter to someone who has professed him as Lord and Savior. I know the pain of temptation, when, month after month, you just want your spouse to touch you with some measure of passion and interest without having to intiate it or ask them to.
Ya'll, I have to sleep -again- as I have to work tonight. But I did get to the gym today, yay me! I miss being able to go more than twice a week (stupid night shift)
I'm working on finishing a post for the blog, and will have it up within the hour (I hope). Have several days off after tonight, finally! and should be able to post more here over the weekend. stay tuned.
Anyway, found this story last night, and it just tickled me. It's clever, but I also want this kind of attitude
Quote:
An old man lived alone in Minnesota.He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison.The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation: ========== Dear Son, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won,t be able to plant my potato garden this year. I hate to misdoing the garden, because your mother always loved planting time. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me if you weren't in the prison. Love, Dad ============= Shortly, the old man received this telegram: ============ "For Heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up the garden!! That's where I buried the GUNS!!" ============ At 4 am the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns. Confused,the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened and asked him what to do next. His son's reply was: ============= "Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad. It's the best I could do for you from here." ============= NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN THE WORLD, IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING DEEP FROM YOUR HEART, YOU CAN DO IT. IT IS THE THOUGHT THAT MATTERS NOT WHERE YOU ARE. Attitude is Everything...
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Is 43:18-19
If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time. Hab 2:3
Posted on the blog and wanted to share it here. Will also share more directly HERE now that I have some time off to do so (WOO!); need to get to sleep so I'm more on a normal sleep/wake cycle for my time off. Something really crappy happened to H tonight and I want to talk about it with my friends here, so I'll save that for a time OTHER than almost 1am
Quote:
Sat in Any Chairs Lately?
When I started this blog last year, I had the intent of telling 1) The Story of Me and 2) why I started this introspection: the bomb blast of the adultery. My husband was amazing, I think: in the middle of his own pain and mistrust, he agreed to start sharing his part of our story here - since our perspectives are so different on separate sides of the blast.
We both had gaping wounds, each inflicted by the other. Both. Of. Us. I cannot emphasize this enough. Gaping, bloody ones with jagged edges. The kind of wounds that have to heal from the inside out, and will not knit together in a pretty thin line.
We were trying to process our new-to-us lives the best we knew how, while walking around like those zombies from Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video. We were in counseling together. We talked more, instead of just the necessary running-the-household-and-raising-kids conversations. There was guarded effort toward a better marriage on both our parts. We were not moving very fast, but there was wee snail movement toward a different and better relationship.
We each bemoaned the fact that I'm doing the best I can ... I'm doing all I can do ... Our counselor called bullsh!t on that right quick-like. We were each doing what we were willing to do at that point in time, but we were not doing everything we could have done for each other. Doing so would have involved a leap of faith that would cause extreme discomfort for each of us, considering our FOO and individual baggage.
Relational intimacy was hard for us in the best of times, much less in an aftermath of emotional gore like we were experiencing. Therefore, we wanted better, but could not/would not make the leap to getting it.
It's akin to an analogy I heard about faith in God; I think this was a Frank Peretti anecdote. He spoke about believing in God in the same way you believe in that chair across the room. Yes, that's a chair, it has four legs and a seat. Looks sturdy.
Yes, but will you go SIT in it?
You can lip-service all day, and intellectually drone on about the engineering of the chair and how it is structured to hold you up. But when the rubber hits the road, will you go over there and trust it to hold your weight?
There's the test, I think. And while I failed it for most of my life, I'm seeing how not sitting in the chair, from a place of relative "safety" across the room, is ultimately not in my best interest. Comfortable is not working.
I need to leap. I need to sit in the chair and trust it to hold me up. God is big enough to hold me and my baggage. He won't drop me. I know that intellectually. I do believe it. But I haven't walked over to sit in the chair. I haven't leapt in my faith. Shame on me.
I didn't leap in my marriage relationship, pre- or post-bomb. I waited to see if it was safe. I'll step here, if you'll go first. If you will, I will. Oddly enough, our relationship together started as a testimony to leaps of faith, of love. Probably the first and only time either of us stretched like that, before or since. And doing so rewarded both of us. It's astounding, in retrospect, how love moved us big time. Mightily.
Then it got less and less comfortable to make big steps. Always glancing out of our peripheral vision at each other: what's he/she doing? because if he/she's not making an effort to [whatever], i'm not stepping out by myself. Ugh. It's exhausting to look to someone else to guide your steps (or your non-steps).
Eventually we quit sharing our hearts at all. Married to a relative stranger. Familiar only in the routine of life, but not where it counts. Ya'll know.
Do I need to be looking to another person to guide my steps? No. I need to look away from the other side of the bed and look up. That's where my hope is. I'm just now figuring that out in a real way, not just a yeah, i know that kind of way.
When my husband was actively posting here, and we were routinely discussing our relationship together IRL, it was okay to blog the adultery and stories about him - or at least fairer. And while I hope it isn't always the case, he no longer posts his story/firsthand wisdom here, and we don't discuss Big Picture Issues daily. Because of that, it seems less 'okay' to blog about those things currently. I could be wrong, but we'll go with it for now.
I do want to tell you more about my husband as a person, what made me love him from the get-go. What contributes to why I still can. Just so you don't know him only as 'the adulterer'. Because that's not fair, and not who he is. I've posted a lot about my pain, because, hello, it is very real (see above reference to jagged wounds). But so is his.
I don't intend to go down the rabbit holes of my marriage and adultery specifically as the Main Plot Point to my blog. That's not to say I won't talk about either, or both, in relation to my story, or throw some lyrics into the mix that mean something to me personally. But I have a plethora of my own issues to work through, back stories of crazy-making and poor judgments that contributed to my unique chaos, and eventually helped lead to problems in my marriage. That's what I intended to do initially, and I hope to get back on track. Stay tuned.
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Is 43:18-19
If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time. Hab 2:3
