My W and I have now been S for a year and a month. Not much has changed in our R - just downs and a couple of ups. GAL these days, so some of the emotion may be lacking in my post. My W is on her 3rd OM this year - she doesn't think I know about them - but I do. Most of the ups are associated with the lack of OM (breakup) and the downs just after she finds a new one.
I am on the West Coast and she is on the East Coast - so it's hard to DB. I don't pursue and she rarely ever tries to contact me. Just sad - but sometimes "life happens".
She has now called and asked me to send her a specific Power of Attorney (POA) to change all the bills from our home on the East Coast into her name. We do not have a separation agreement. She asked about 9 months ago and sent me some paperwork/worksheets to fill out for the local military post JAG office to use to create the document - yes thing were amicable - but she never did anything with the info. No legal separation agreement. I have also recently discovered that she is trying to refinance the house (current loan is a VA loan in both our names). She has not told me this - I just know for a fact this is going on.
I'm wondering if she is trying to set me up now with all this info/POA and a new loan. We've just let it go that she makes the house payment and utilities, and I pay for mine. I wonder if her new BF who builds/sells houses is giving her advice on some loophole I don't know about. Anyone ever heard of this????
Military here too.....listen man...better hit the JAG and start getting ready for something like "Getting taken to the cleaners". You know how it is with POA and how SPECIFIC you can make it. I wouldn't do too much without some counseling from a JAG or get one of those free consultations on the civilian side. Nothing legal done so far on her part and obviously nothing done on yours. This, I think, would be a really good time to CYA! Tax time is coming too....check on this. Military info is free but sketchy at times. Civilian info is costly at times. Surf the net, look for attorneys that may answer an email from you about a specific question. I did this from Doha so you can do it from here!
Today my W called and asked that we formally/legally become separated. She is sending me some paperwork (again) and says she is wants a legal agreement this time. She says she doesn't want to fight over things (as long as I just sign the house over to her) and that WE split/pay off the home improvement loan WE got so I could remodel 2 bathrooms and add her home office onto the house. Not to mention all the vacation days used to build/remodel and the blood and sweat that went into it.
She did tell me that she wants to refinance the house in her name only and has inquired about a new loan. I also only have to get her name off my truck loan (which we will not split/pay off) - BTW it's just about paid for and she has a company car. I get to keep all of my tools - how 'bout that. There's no way I'm just signing over the house and furniture.
She wants to take the separation agreement worksheet to the local military JAG office (becasue it's free and they do everything for you). I think I will let her do it that way, but hire my own attorney to review it with me and recommend changes. I would rather pay somebody for advice now, than to pay them more later to fix it.
I think she was a bit surprised that I was prepared to talk about it and that I didn't get emotional. It sounded as if she was on the verge of crying the whole time.
One interesting thing was that she wanted the date of separation to be last OCT - since in NC once you're legally separated for a year you can file for the big D. Whatever, I'm not going to get in the way/try to stop her from going down this road - but she's gonna be the one doing the work
Do the attorney thing that's for sure. I think my XW used the 90 day sep here in WA while I was deployed...came back and 90 days after that...I have an XW instead...no questions asked!!!! That sucks!!!!!!!!
