Hey Bro, I'm still here too. I'm sorry to see another family torn but I know you will do all you can to give your sons a good home and be a great example of a true man.
Just remember STBXW will always be in your life for a long time as a co-parent. It's good that you two can talk and be cordial. I'm still working through resentment that I may never fully want to get over.
Take care and keep us posted. I won't speak for fearless but will say that things are going well. When the time is right your will find there is someone wonderful out there for you.
I am the man who is loving my kids and will keep them from continuing this cycle of destruction.
OMG where do I start? Self imposed exile is now over I guess. Can this be right? I registered here on Feb 24 of 05 and this is now August 14 of 07. Cannot even do the math.
Something urged me to post again, just to update to my friends here. Some are still here and posting away, soem are gone but NEVER FORGOTTEN!!
Well D went Final of January of this year. Words cannot describe the pain and raw emotion that went with all of it. I was the one to go to court and make the declaration on the stand, I remember the eternity it took to choke out the answer "Yes" to the my attorney's question if the marriage was broken beyond repair. But from that moment on life has gotten better.
I guess part of this post is to revalidate what many before have stated, there is life after divorce and the huge plus is we get to truly rebuild the persons we were before.
I have refound myself and the strength inside to do anything in life. I have purchased a new home, am becoming a better father to my 3 boys, my work is better, life is good. I was reforged I guess through this process.
For us that are left behind, we have are able to grow and become a better stronger person. This happens when we realize WE are not responsible nor did we create the situation we were (are) in and cannot make decisions for otehr people.
As too my ex, the grass was not as green. Her 2nd affair, the one which was the one she felt compelled to file so she could be with, is now in rehab for alcoholism. Was highly abusive, verbally to her and was popped for DUI of 2.7. I feel sadness in my heart and concern for her and my boys. Amazing enough, during this time, she has become increasingly depressed and her friends are trying to intervene but who was it she sought for support? You guessed it, me! The guy who she could not stand to be around nor share her life with. I have done my best to be supportive but from a WHOLE different angle and mindset. There is caring there from me but as a friend to a friend. I find it very ironic. From a close friend of hers whom I got a call from, she regrets fully her decision. Go figure.
I have moved on. Dating was very difficult and very odd. Many crazies out there. I have found a very nice woman that I have been seeing for about 3 months now. She is wonderful. It has been a slow process and a LD relationship (3 Hours away) but we have been able to make it work. The distance has been a benfit as well as a bane. It has allowed us to build our relationship on talking and communication. Something I have really grown to cherish.
Well so much for all that. A short update turned into a novel. For those friends who stumble across this, please say hello. For those who are here and do not know me, it does get better! Remember...This too shall pass!
F4W
Through honest giving of my love I will recieve 10 fold in return.
Just because a person does not love you in the way you want, does not mean they do not love you!
It's good to hear from you. Sorry that your D became official; but I'm glad that you're doing alright. I wish you and your boys nothing but the best. Keep posting your growth and adventures.
So glad to hear from you my friend and know you are OK. I have been away from the forum to try to focus on rebuilding my life when I realised my H was truly heading down a different road. My life, too, is getting better - it has been a slow and painful process but I no longer want to go back to the person I was in the last years of my M. My ex is also struggling, but that is his issue now; I am there if he needs me, although for how long I don't know.
You were a true and trusted support to me throughout the worst months of my life and I am so grateful that you were there. I wish you all the happiness that you deserve - and I can see that you are going to be fine. I still think of you often and am glad to have another chance to thank you for all you did for me.
Hi Purdy, I think of you often and how you helped me through the early days. Let me know how you are doing either via my thread 'Two and a half days of freedom' in MLC forum or if you still have my contact details you can use those. My home email is not brilliant right now so that might not be the best way to contact me.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
I just saw this. I am on the D road as well, so I am happy to read this positive post.
I am so glad that you are doing well. I know how hard you tried to make your M work, and how much you struggled to let go.
How wonderful that you are becoming/have become the man that you were meant to be, a man that you and your children can be proud of. And I'm delighted to hear about your lady friend.
I wish you all the best in your new life.
~Nicola
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
