Earlier I was posting how LRT seemed to be working and how I was detaching pretty well. And, I was now wondering why I would want to be back with my W after her A 2 yrs ago and the "new" BF she found 2 days after telling me she wanted legal separation (2 months ago).
Her cell phone bill has been emailed to me automtically by her cell company (as part of our agreement after the 1st A) for the past couple of years. She also gave me her email PW, but changed it 2 weeks ago. I just looked at the latest cell phone bill and have been able to put a few things together.
In one of her emails a few weeks ago, she was telling her sister how she had run into the OM from a few years ago (1st week of OCT). Looked at the cell phone bill ending 15 OCT. Found multiple calls of long duration both to and from old OM cell phone on 4-6 OCT, and only a few calls to the new BF (who lives in another town). During my visit to "our" house on the 10th of OCT, I found many used contraceptives with a receipt dated 6 OCT. Seems as if now she is with BF and old OM again - both PAs.
She tells me today that she wishes we were together - I don't - I am not a doormat and I am not remotely interested in someone with such low morals and bad character.
I am not riding the roller coaster!! But I am seriously questioning why I desire to renew my R/ save my M to this (by her own description "awakened") woman. If I were single and were to meet her/date her these days - she would not be the caliber of person I would be interested in. Her behavior really disgusts me. I've never been one to be satisfied "riding the neighborhood bicycle"!
apache, i hear you and totally understand your doubts. why on earth would you want to go back with her, only you know. only you know if you have the love, patience, strength to resolve this situation. actually i feel like you nowadays. i am just tired of hoping, so in few words, i can totally see what you are going through...
