Walking Down a Different Street - 10/10/13 04:31 PM
Time to move over here from Taking the Next Step.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/10/13 04:37 PM
Originally Posted By: MileHigh
I must get some rest, but I'll be back tomorrow with a better attitude and a new thread. 
So do you feel better today?
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/10/13 04:45 PM
I do. I was wondering where everyone was today... LOL. I still need more sleep - just can't seem to get enough. I think I'm addicted. 
Has anyone seen the extra day I need in the week to get done with all my decluttering/cleaning/reading/writing/meditating/exercising/walking/thinking/DIY projects... oh, and lastly.... work?
Has anyone seen the extra day I need in the week to get done with all my decluttering/cleaning/reading/writing/meditating/exercising/walking/thinking/DIY projects... oh, and lastly.... work?
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/10/13 04:48 PM
It took a minute or two to find you - you moved forums. Now I'm going to have to change my watch lists 
Just one extra day?? I've got an extra day this weekend to fill - thinking maybe I'll try and start some of the decluttering. Of courst that will be after doing the usual weekend housework, errands, and other things on S13's to do list.
Just one extra day?? I've got an extra day this weekend to fill - thinking maybe I'll try and start some of the decluttering. Of courst that will be after doing the usual weekend housework, errands, and other things on S13's to do list
.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/10/13 04:57 PM
Yeah, I debated about that. There's so many ways to track - by topic, forum, user... Being a stickler for details, I had to put it in a forum that seemed most appropriate - although there are usually several that apply. At least I left a trail.
I'm glad I have vacation coming up. I'm sad that I have to use some of it on chores! 
I'm glad I have vacation coming up.
I'm sad that I have to use some of it on chores!
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/10/13 06:08 PM
Originally Posted By: MileHigh
Yeah, I debated about that. There's so many ways to track - by topic, forum, user... Being a stickler for details, I had to put it in a forum that seemed most appropriate - although there are usually several that apply. At least I left a trail.
I started to follow the trail but then my computer did something odd and I got lost
. Think it’s time to run a back-up on the computer as we’ve had a spate of computer crashes at work over the last couple of weeks.Originally Posted By: MileHigh
I'm glad I have vacation coming up. I'm sad that I have to use some of it on chores!
I'm sad that I have to use some of it on chores! Chores are a no-win sitch. As soon as I get some of them done, more crop up. With it being Thanksgiving weekend here I don’t intend to spend the entire weekend on chores – going to make sure I get it some downtime. S13 wants to start working on his Christmas list (ugh), get his Halloween costume (despite me trying to convince him that he’s too old to trick or treat), go to a movie and go out for brunch one of the days. At least I don’t have to fit in a visit with H as well as he’s going away for the weekend.
Of course, being a long weekend it is possible the malls won't be as busy and crowded as they usually are on weekends
.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/10/13 10:06 PM
I'm here MH!! << waves arms in air It's been a long night tonight. We went to youth club and took them all to McDs tonight. All 20 of them!! I had a mcflurry and a cappuccino It felt so good afterwards
Anyway you two, you really should read "do less and achieve more". It'll stop you stressing over all the jobs you need to get done, lol. It's a great time management book, one of the best I've read I will NOT be lending this one out, lol.
It's been a long night tonight. We went to youth club and took them all to McDs tonight. All 20 of them!! I had a mcflurry and a cappuccino It felt so good afterwards Anyway you two, you really should read "do less and achieve more". It'll stop you stressing over all the jobs you need to get done, lol. It's a great time management book, one of the best I've read
I will NOT be lending this one out, lol.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/11/13 02:11 AM
Oooh, McFlurry. Haven't had one of them in ages. Love McD's for breakfast and once a month will take S13 there on the way to grocery shopping. I'm not surprised he loves their breakfasts - Egg McMuffin is one thing I kept getting cravings for when I was pregnant with him
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/11/13 04:28 AM
That book is now on my list. That counts, right? Here's one for making us feel better about not accomplishing more: "Goal-Free Living: How to Have the Life You Want Now!"
I used to get McD's and BK breakfast far too often. Now that I'm at home all the time it's not an option. I think I lost 10 lbs just from cutting that out!
The concept of empty mall on Thanksgiving weekend is funny, given the whole Black Friday nonsense they cooked up for the US Thanksgiving/Start of Christmas shopping season.
I used to get McD's and BK breakfast far too often. Now that I'm at home all the time it's not an option. I think I lost 10 lbs just from cutting that out!
The concept of empty mall on Thanksgiving weekend is funny, given the whole Black Friday nonsense they cooked up for the US Thanksgiving/Start of Christmas shopping season.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/11/13 08:09 AM
Have you got those new mcd breakfast wraps yet? I've yet to try one, but they look yum Having said that I bet they're not new over there, lol. How come nearly all our conversations go back to McDs? lol
Having said that I bet they're not new over there, lol. How come nearly all our conversations go back to McDs? lol
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/11/13 11:08 AM
Originally Posted By: MileHigh
That book is now on my list. That counts, right? Here's one for making us feel better about not accomplishing more: "Goal-Free Living: How to Have the Life You Want Now!"
There’s way too many self-help books on my list now. I’ll never get the decluttering or anything else done if I try to read them all LOL.
Originally Posted By: MileHigh
I used to get McD's and BK breakfast far too often. Now that I'm at home all the time it's not an option. I think I lost 10 lbs just from cutting that out!
It’s a once a month (maximum) treat. Budget can’t stretch to more than that. Eating out does add on the pounds – dad found that out when he moved back into this house, stopped eating out so often and has lost over 30 lbs since January.
Originally Posted By: MileHigh
The concept of empty mall on Thanksgiving weekend is funny, given the whole Black Friday nonsense they cooked up for the US Thanksgiving/Start of Christmas shopping season.
That’s why our malls might be empty – everyone takes off to the US outlet malls (Buffalo would be closest to me) on Black Friday for their sales. A lot of Canadian retailers have started “Canadian Black Friday” to try and compete.
Originally Posted By: TryingToDo180
Have you got those new mcd breakfast wraps yet? I've yet to try one, but they look yum Having said that I bet they're not new over there, lol. How come nearly all our conversations go back to McDs? lol
Having said that I bet they're not new over there, lol. How come nearly all our conversations go back to McDs? lol That’s what happens when we post when hungry??? LOL
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/12/13 12:50 AM
I swear W can sense my thoughts. Remember when I was pondering taking some trips and doing stuff by myself and being a bit less available. Today she texted me to see if I wanted to go on a day trip tomorrow to a local vintage airplane show and museum. She knows I really wanted to do a biplane ride last year and missed the chance. It's a 2 hr trip down there, so it's going to be an early and long day - and not enough sleep again!!! 
Wish me the best on my good behavior and top-notch DBing tomorrow!
Wish me the best on my good behavior and top-notch DBing tomorrow!
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/12/13 02:02 AM
Enjoy the day! You'll be fine!
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/12/13 08:19 AM
Enjoy your day MH
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/14/13 11:12 PM
Well, it was another long, tiring weekend, but mostly in good way. Had to drive 4 hrs round trip on Sat with too little sleep so I had to load up on the 5-Hr Energy Shots.
The air show was fun but it was too windy so some of the flights had to be cancelled and my biplane ride was cancelled. Ah, well. Today W FB messaged me that maybe next year I can do it (this is second time I've tried).
She had her moments of crabbiness, but I realized she was just as tired as me, and has been having a very hard time at work. This helped me to keep it in perspective. She threw her hands up thinking I was going the wrong way once and I calmly told her I go that way a lot, rather than snap back at her.
After the air show, she didn't seem eager to head back. She suggested we drive around the countryside, then walk around the town, where we visited a bookstore and had some pizza. When we finally got home we watched some TV and napped on the couch a bit. After watching more TV she said she'd like to stay the night. It was a platonic sleepover, LOL. She stayed on the couch after I went to bed - but she felt comfortable enough to stay for the first time, rather than go back to the other house in the dark. In the morning she suggested we go to brunch and another bookstore - can you tell we like to eat and read?!
She seemed reluctant to leave. It's hard to describe the looks - she can go from looking worried to smiling and back. I still haven't even tried to give her so much as a hug or a kiss on the cheek. That would to have to come from her for me to really know it's ok.
The air show was fun but it was too windy so some of the flights had to be cancelled and my biplane ride was cancelled.
Ah, well. Today W FB messaged me that maybe next year I can do it (this is second time I've tried). She had her moments of crabbiness, but I realized she was just as tired as me, and has been having a very hard time at work. This helped me to keep it in perspective. She threw her hands up thinking I was going the wrong way once and I calmly told her I go that way a lot, rather than snap back at her.
After the air show, she didn't seem eager to head back. She suggested we drive around the countryside, then walk around the town, where we visited a bookstore and had some pizza. When we finally got home we watched some TV and napped on the couch a bit. After watching more TV she said she'd like to stay the night. It was a platonic sleepover, LOL. She stayed on the couch after I went to bed - but she felt comfortable enough to stay for the first time, rather than go back to the other house in the dark. In the morning she suggested we go to brunch and another bookstore - can you tell we like to eat and read?!
She seemed reluctant to leave. It's hard to describe the looks - she can go from looking worried to smiling and back. I still haven't even tried to give her so much as a hug or a kiss on the cheek. That would to have to come from her for me to really know it's ok.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/14/13 11:55 PM
Hey MH, I found your thread. I didn't realize you were aaalll the way over here.
Very interested to hear about your wife making little positives. Sleeping in the same house is a positive. She actually wanted to hang out with you - very coolio.
Very interested to hear about your wife making little positives. Sleeping in the same house is a positive. She actually wanted to hang out with you - very coolio.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/15/13 12:38 AM
Hey, Pud. Yeah, I needed a change of scenery. LOL.
I forgot to mention, the weekend started off with one of those bad, fattening McD's breakfasts that were mentioned a few posts back. Yum.
I forgot to mention, the weekend started off with one of those bad, fattening McD's breakfasts that were mentioned a few posts back. Yum.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/15/13 01:44 AM
Glad you had a good weekend MH. Lucky you, your wife wanting to spend time with you.
Those breakfasts are okay once in a while. We were going to go to McD's for breakfast on Saturday but my son decided he didn't want to get up and go grocery shopping with me. Had one of those bad, fattening McChicken sandwiches and fries for lunch instead while out at the not as busy as normal mall.
Those breakfasts are okay once in a while. We were going to go to McD's for breakfast on Saturday but my son decided he didn't want to get up and go grocery shopping with me. Had one of those bad, fattening McChicken sandwiches and fries for lunch instead while out at the not as busy as normal mall.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/15/13 09:07 AM
Now you've done it! mentioning McDs breakfasts, lol. Now I fancy one! They're the best food from Macky's, especially the sausage and egg mcmuffins
What a great positve weekend you have MH Hope there's more to come Good for you not snapping back when you're driving and letting your W make all the moves
What a great positve weekend you have MH
Hope there's more to come Good for you not snapping back when you're driving and letting your W make all the moves
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/15/13 10:51 AM
I think she's cracking - in a good way. 
But, she's leading this dance. Sometimes I think I'm still cleaning the dance floor. LOL. 
On the GAL front, I just finished an all-nighter (I did have a supreme nap in preparation) getting my office put back together after I set off that declutter bomb in it. I had to get my work and home PCs sorted out. Working at the kitchen table and doing my DB forum activity on work PC or iPad all the time was starting to suck.
The cats are helping me be more minimalist - I can't have a pen cup - the little one will knock it over and empty it out every single day. I can't use the shelf behind my monitors on one section of my desk because the larger cat has claimed that space for lounging. Makes it easy to keep a neat and tidy desk.
It's so nice to have the speakers hooked up to my PC for the first time in over a year. Get sick or wearing ear buds to listen to music. Now I can fire up iTunes while I work for some good concentration/mood music.
Still have a ton of junk I shoved over to the other side of the room while the desk dragging/repositioning/cursing escapades where going on. I have another desk (a non-computer secretary type desk) and wooden file cabinet to bring in here, too. Going for a juxtaposition of old and new.
On the downside, I almost made a terrible mistake tonight. Was very tired and not paying attention and almost used the dosage for my slow-acting insulin with my fast acting insulin pen. I started depressing it when I noticed - lucky I have an obsessive habit of counting off the clicks. I happened to notice it was the orange pen, not the blue one. Luckily I just got a few more units that expected so I got to eat a candy bar instead of take an ambulance ride!
I must be more careful. I read a letter from a reader in Readers' Digest who made the same mistake with much worse results.
But, she's leading this dance. Sometimes I think I'm still cleaning the dance floor. LOL. On the GAL front, I just finished an all-nighter (I did have a supreme nap in preparation) getting my office put back together after I set off that declutter bomb in it. I had to get my work and home PCs sorted out. Working at the kitchen table and doing my DB forum activity on work PC or iPad all the time was starting to suck.
The cats are helping me be more minimalist - I can't have a pen cup - the little one will knock it over and empty it out every single day. I can't use the shelf behind my monitors on one section of my desk because the larger cat has claimed that space for lounging. Makes it easy to keep a neat and tidy desk.
It's so nice to have the speakers hooked up to my PC for the first time in over a year. Get sick or wearing ear buds to listen to music. Now I can fire up iTunes while I work for some good concentration/mood music.
Still have a ton of junk I shoved over to the other side of the room while the desk dragging/repositioning/cursing escapades where going on. I have another desk (a non-computer secretary type desk) and wooden file cabinet to bring in here, too. Going for a juxtaposition of old and new.
On the downside, I almost made a terrible mistake tonight. Was very tired and not paying attention and almost used the dosage for my slow-acting insulin with my fast acting insulin pen. I started depressing it when I noticed - lucky I have an obsessive habit of counting off the clicks. I happened to notice it was the orange pen, not the blue one. Luckily I just got a few more units that expected so I got to eat a candy bar instead of take an ambulance ride!
I must be more careful. I read a letter from a reader in Readers' Digest who made the same mistake with much worse results.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/15/13 01:26 PM
Originally Posted By: MileHigh
I think she's cracking - in a good way. But, she's leading this dance. Sometimes I think I'm still cleaning the dance floor. LOL.
But, she's leading this dance. Sometimes I think I'm still cleaning the dance floor. LOL. Well, whatever you’re doing seems to be working. Keep it up, but remember not to rush things. Those baby steps are still needed here
.Originally Posted By: MileHigh
On the GAL front, I just finished an all-nighter (I did have a supreme nap in preparation) getting my office put back together after I set off that declutter bomb in it. I had to get my work and home PCs sorted out. Working at the kitchen table and doing my DB forum activity on work PC or iPad all the time was starting to suck.
The cats are helping me be more minimalist - I can't have a pen cup - the little one will knock it over and empty it out every single day. I can't use the shelf behind my monitors on one section of my desk because the larger cat has claimed that space for lounging. Makes it easy to keep a neat and tidy desk.
It's so nice to have the speakers hooked up to my PC for the first time in over a year. Get sick or wearing ear buds to listen to music. Now I can fire up iTunes while I work for some good concentration/mood music.
Still have a ton of junk I shoved over to the other side of the room while the desk dragging/repositioning/cursing escapades where going on. I have another desk (a non-computer secretary type desk) and wooden file cabinet to bring in here, too. Going for a juxtaposition of old and new.
The cats are helping me be more minimalist - I can't have a pen cup - the little one will knock it over and empty it out every single day. I can't use the shelf behind my monitors on one section of my desk because the larger cat has claimed that space for lounging. Makes it easy to keep a neat and tidy desk.
It's so nice to have the speakers hooked up to my PC for the first time in over a year. Get sick or wearing ear buds to listen to music. Now I can fire up iTunes while I work for some good concentration/mood music.
Still have a ton of junk I shoved over to the other side of the room while the desk dragging/repositioning/cursing escapades where going on. I have another desk (a non-computer secretary type desk) and wooden file cabinet to bring in here, too. Going for a juxtaposition of old and new.
You’re putting TTD and I to shame again with this decluttering spree of yours. Although I do have the excuse that it was Thanksgiving weekend and I had no intention of working all weekend – and I did still manage to get a little bit done.
I’m going to have to invest in new speakers as ours are dying a slow death – there’s more static than sound coming out of them. I’m also going to have to investigate why the games on the computer have sound, but why YouTube and other videos don’t
. Originally Posted By: MileHigh
On the downside, I almost made a terrible mistake tonight. Was very tired and not paying attention and almost used the dosage for my slow-acting insulin with my fast acting insulin pen. I started depressing it when I noticed - lucky I have an obsessive habit of counting off the clicks. I happened to notice it was the orange pen, not the blue one. Luckily I just got a few more units that expected so I got to eat a candy bar instead of take an ambulance ride! I must be more careful. I read a letter from a reader in Readers' Digest who made the same mistake with much worse results.
I must be more careful. I read a letter from a reader in Readers' Digest who made the same mistake with much worse results. That would not have been fun. Yes, you really do have to be careful with your meds. And maybe a bit more sleep would help
.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/15/13 04:44 PM
Quote:
On the GAL front, I just finished an all-nighter (I did have a supreme nap in preparation) getting my office put back together after I set off that declutter bomb in it. I had to get my work and home PCs sorted out. Working at the kitchen table and doing my DB forum activity on work PC or iPad all the time was starting to suck.
NQ is right, you are putting us both to shame. I was up for a bit cleaning the kitchen. It's not that bad though, I don't know what H's problem is!
Quote:
The cats are helping me be more minimalist - I can't have a pen cup - the little one will knock it over and empty it out every single day. I can't use the shelf behind my monitors on one section of my desk because the larger cat has claimed that space for lounging. Makes it easy to keep a neat and tidy desk.
My cats are exactly the same! The young one likes playing with pens and the older one has claimed the shelf about my PC. How weird is that
Quote:
On the downside, I almost made a terrible mistake tonight. Was very tired and not paying attention and almost used the dosage for my slow-acting insulin with my fast acting insulin pen. I started depressing it when I noticed - lucky I have an obsessive habit of counting off the clicks. I happened to notice it was the orange pen, not the blue one. Luckily I just got a few more units that expected so I got to eat a candy bar instead of take an ambulance ride! I must be more careful. I read a letter from a reader in Readers' Digest who made the same mistake with much worse results.
You're right, you must be more careful!
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/17/13 07:50 AM
One of the cats just loves to sit between my keyboard and monitor. Except he can't sit still, so he paces the desk, rubbing each monitor and turning it this way and that (I have 4 monitors, so that keeps him busy - yes I realize that's a lot of monitors, but 2 are for work - really!
I made it to my vacation, although with all the chores I need to do it should be called something else. Amazing how I managed to dismiss/defer all the tasks that have been weighing me down at work the day before my vacation starts.
On the PMA/GAL front, I had a good weekly trip downtown. Had a good stress management class, then a nice Chinese dinner, an hour at the library, then a walk, then a coffee/ice cream shake for desert at coffee shop, followed by some grocery shopping. am I ever the party animal? I avoided the flirty waitresses and drunk ladies in the taxis this week. Figured they needed a break.
Tonight I managed to get my clothes moved into bedroom closet, and got the office closet sorted. All the junk has been moved out of path so I can get the secretary desk and file cabinet moved in here. May bring in the couch from the back room, although the cat has made quite a mess of it. Would facilitate napping during work hours.... hmmmmm. Maybe it better not come in here.
I have some aggressive goals for next week, including all the outside work I need to do before winter, except the painting I can't do now because it's too cold. And I'm not hiring another painter! So, I plan to get the inside stuff organized before next week. After the office, I just have to find some place for all the stuff my wife left here and doesn't seem to want to deal with. Trash bin was considered, but since we're getting on so much better, I'll defer that option.
I made it to my vacation, although with all the chores I need to do it should be called something else. Amazing how I managed to dismiss/defer all the tasks that have been weighing me down at work the day before my vacation starts.
On the PMA/GAL front, I had a good weekly trip downtown. Had a good stress management class, then a nice Chinese dinner, an hour at the library, then a walk, then a coffee/ice cream shake for desert at coffee shop, followed by some grocery shopping. am I ever the party animal? I avoided the flirty waitresses and drunk ladies in the taxis this week. Figured they needed a break.
Tonight I managed to get my clothes moved into bedroom closet, and got the office closet sorted. All the junk has been moved out of path so I can get the secretary desk and file cabinet moved in here. May bring in the couch from the back room, although the cat has made quite a mess of it. Would facilitate napping during work hours.... hmmmmm. Maybe it better not come in here.
I have some aggressive goals for next week, including all the outside work I need to do before winter, except the painting I can't do now because it's too cold. And I'm not hiring another painter!
So, I plan to get the inside stuff organized before next week. After the office, I just have to find some place for all the stuff my wife left here and doesn't seem to want to deal with. Trash bin was considered, but since we're getting on so much better, I'll defer that option.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/17/13 08:10 AM
wow you've been busy as usual! You still put me to shame, lol. I'll be thinking of you when I'm out with my friends today hehe
I was thinking of having a decorating party, do you think people will come? lol. I've got enough books to open a book stall at the mo, so I may have a book party as well I'll have to do some research ie surf the web Your cat is definitely my cat's twin, I find my monitor on an angle as well
hehe I was thinking of having a decorating party, do you think people will come? lol. I've got enough books to open a book stall at the mo, so I may have a book party as well
I'll have to do some research ie surf the web Your cat is definitely my cat's twin, I find my monitor on an angle as well
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/17/13 01:49 PM
I agree with TTD - you are definitely putting us to shame!.
TTD, one of my coworkers held a painting party - they provided the booze, food and supplies and had a few friends over. The friends knew what they were being invited over for, but the offer of free food and booze was enough incentive.
MH, enjoy your vacation - don't spend all of the time decluttering, etc. You need some downtime as well.
TTD, one of my coworkers held a painting party - they provided the booze, food and supplies and had a few friends over. The friends knew what they were being invited over for, but the offer of free food and booze was enough incentive.
MH, enjoy your vacation - don't spend all of the time decluttering, etc. You need some downtime as well.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/17/13 02:15 PM
That's a good idea NQ about the painting party I was going to provide food and booze as well as an incentive, I wouldn't let them come over for nothing, lol. Well the booze part I'd already thought of, but not the food bit. Maybe I'll just order a takeaway. I can't make it too expensive though as I'm supposed to be doing it on the cheap, lol.
I agree with NQ, don't spend all your vacation doing jobs around the house MH
I was going to provide food and booze as well as an incentive, I wouldn't let them come over for nothing, lol. Well the booze part I'd already thought of, but not the food bit. Maybe I'll just order a takeaway. I can't make it too expensive though as I'm supposed to be doing it on the cheap, lol.I agree with NQ, don't spend all your vacation doing jobs around the house MH
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/17/13 02:23 PM
TTD, try throwing something in your slow cooker - chili or stew or something along those lines. Something that is pretty well self-cooking and then "help yourself" when ready. And the smell of cooking food may even overwhelm the smell of paint or wallpaper paste LOL
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/17/13 02:53 PM
Good idea
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/17/13 09:44 PM
Advice Needed! 
OK, DB Forum peeps. Need advice on the dreaded R talk. Might be that time now. Hopefully some of you can share your experiences and I can get this right the first time through...
The really short story: "If you want to talk about anything let me know."
The longer version: "I don't really want to get into things you made clear you don't want to talk about but..." So, what happened was I decided to shop for phones and when I logged in I was prompted to update my email. What I didn't know was that it would text W at 5am about an email change on the account. So, she saw where a while back I'd nicknamed a certain number "handyman" and my number "me."
The details:
The good thing is, she didn't flip out about it. She didn't even suggest we separate the phone accounts like she wanted to do way back. She also told me that for the record, she doesn't snoop at who texts me (weird to me she worded it that way instead of "who I text" but....). A tad bit amusing, too given past snooping on her part. But, fair enough. And the really good thing is I didn't snoop myself. I haven't since back when I added that nickname to the number on the phone site.
She also said she wanted to know if I want to go somewhere on Sat. She mentioned a specific place (I'm trying to be a little more discreet about details these days). It was the same general place we went for the disastrous drive the day before her B-day and BD day. Maybe I'll suggest a similar, but different place....
What I said: I apologized for the address book nickname on cellphone site but didn't mention OM. Said it was just me having fun and didn't know it would show up outside my profile. I said a drive would be nice. Most importantly, I said "Have to talk, just not easy. Needed to before and that's why we're here again. "
OK, DB Forum peeps. Need advice on the dreaded R talk. Might be that time now. Hopefully some of you can share your experiences and I can get this right the first time through...
The really short story: "If you want to talk about anything let me know."
The longer version: "I don't really want to get into things you made clear you don't want to talk about but..." So, what happened was I decided to shop for phones and when I logged in I was prompted to update my email. What I didn't know was that it would text W at 5am about an email change on the account. So, she saw where a while back I'd nicknamed a certain number "handyman" and my number "me."
The details:
The good thing is, she didn't flip out about it. She didn't even suggest we separate the phone accounts like she wanted to do way back. She also told me that for the record, she doesn't snoop at who texts me (weird to me she worded it that way instead of "who I text" but....). A tad bit amusing, too given past snooping on her part. But, fair enough. And the really good thing is I didn't snoop myself. I haven't since back when I added that nickname to the number on the phone site.
She also said she wanted to know if I want to go somewhere on Sat. She mentioned a specific place (I'm trying to be a little more discreet about details these days). It was the same general place we went for the disastrous drive the day before her B-day and BD day. Maybe I'll suggest a similar, but different place....
What I said: I apologized for the address book nickname on cellphone site but didn't mention OM. Said it was just me having fun and didn't know it would show up outside my profile. I said a drive would be nice. Most importantly, I said "Have to talk, just not easy. Needed to before and that's why we're here again. "
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/17/13 10:05 PM
I don't get it. Did she say the two of you needed a R talk?
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/17/13 10:17 PM
Why do you think she is ready for that R talk? You do remember it's a marathon not a sprint don't you? It must be so frustrating for you getting so far with your W and not progressing any further but being stuck in limbo as it were.
Think how far you have come though. She said she doesn't want to D you now, I would take that as a big step up!
Just carry on doing what you're doing and don't initiate any R talks with her. Let her take the lead.
MH, what's got into you! You know the way it works. Here's a foam 2x4 for you Whomp! lol.
I also wouldn't go back to the place where you had your BD, that sounds very depressing. I would try somewhere new, if there's going to be any R in the future, then you need to start afresh and not tread on any old ground. Just my humble opinion
Think how far you have come though. She said she doesn't want to D you now, I would take that as a big step up!
Just carry on doing what you're doing and don't initiate any R talks with her. Let her take the lead.
MH, what's got into you! You know the way it works. Here's a foam 2x4 for you
Whomp! lol.I also wouldn't go back to the place where you had your BD, that sounds very depressing. I would try somewhere new, if there's going to be any R in the future, then you need to start afresh and not tread on any old ground. Just my humble opinion
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/18/13 03:04 AM
Looking back at it, she didn't really say we have to talk about anything right now. In fact, she really said she doesn't want to get into it, but if I want to talk... So, if it's still best not to, that's fine. But, this is about the 3rd time she's said she won't say anything because I made it clear I don't want to talk about it. She's referencing the time when I told her to stop rubbing my face in it, when she would go on about Mr Wonderful during the ugly text/email/FB msg battles before the D paperwork was filed (and later retracted).
What I meant is that at some point - maybe quite a way into the future - we do indeed need to talk about this and also about the last time it happened. At least that's how I feel at the moment. The last time, she it was none of my business (that might have been when things were really ugly, not after we decided to stay M. Can't remember exactly - but at some point she said it) and also that she didn't believe in counseling and wasn't going to talk to a stranger about her problems (when I wanted her to do some time of counseling, preferably with MWD when we were near her office). At some point I'll re-read DR section about the questions the LBS has and how to deal with them.
My problem is I most definitely would like to hear what she is thinking. All I can see is that she clearly misses some of what we had, but can't commit to working on M yet. She's happy to spend every weekend with me and sometimes more. We chat/text through the day. She wants me to keep recording shows that we can watch together. All of that is fine, but there's always that burning desire to know what she's thinking, doing, planning....
I know it's not been a lot of time by some people's experience, so if the committee thinks I should just let this slide by as a little backslide and get on with the program, I can abide by that.
My biggest problem with the sitch, outside of the unknown status of OM is the house. That's a pretty big thing. I'm doing the best I can with this place, and it's good for my PMA and all, but the house she's in is also 1/2 mine and the little kid in me that wants to scream that it isn't fair gets kind of uppity at times (in my head, not to her).
The physical tension is incredible, too. When I get any attention from the opposite sex - like the infamous taxi lady - it takes a lot to behave properly. I just can't see holding out for years in my monk-like state. Maybe if that wasn't something that had already been on hold for so long. The tension and frustration was absolutely unbearable while we were living like roommates and not seeking/finding solutions to our intimacy problems (that's why I understand her point of view and what happened when someone showed her some affection). There is that part of me that thinks maybe I should find someone more compatible on that score and not have to suffer for another frustrated 20 yrs. But, obviously the rest of our R had some good to it or I would have left myself.
So....for now, baby steps, don't spook the squirrel, keep up the PMA/GAL activity and go have a nice drive on Saturday?
What I meant is that at some point - maybe quite a way into the future - we do indeed need to talk about this and also about the last time it happened. At least that's how I feel at the moment. The last time, she it was none of my business (that might have been when things were really ugly, not after we decided to stay M. Can't remember exactly - but at some point she said it) and also that she didn't believe in counseling and wasn't going to talk to a stranger about her problems (when I wanted her to do some time of counseling, preferably with MWD when we were near her office). At some point I'll re-read DR section about the questions the LBS has and how to deal with them.
My problem is I most definitely would like to hear what she is thinking. All I can see is that she clearly misses some of what we had, but can't commit to working on M yet. She's happy to spend every weekend with me and sometimes more. We chat/text through the day. She wants me to keep recording shows that we can watch together. All of that is fine, but there's always that burning desire to know what she's thinking, doing, planning....
I know it's not been a lot of time by some people's experience, so if the committee thinks I should just let this slide by as a little backslide and get on with the program, I can abide by that.
My biggest problem with the sitch, outside of the unknown status of OM is the house. That's a pretty big thing. I'm doing the best I can with this place, and it's good for my PMA and all, but the house she's in is also 1/2 mine and the little kid in me that wants to scream that it isn't fair gets kind of uppity at times (in my head, not to her).
The physical tension is incredible, too. When I get any attention from the opposite sex - like the infamous taxi lady - it takes a lot to behave properly. I just can't see holding out for years in my monk-like state. Maybe if that wasn't something that had already been on hold for so long. The tension and frustration was absolutely unbearable while we were living like roommates and not seeking/finding solutions to our intimacy problems (that's why I understand her point of view and what happened when someone showed her some affection). There is that part of me that thinks maybe I should find someone more compatible on that score and not have to suffer for another frustrated 20 yrs. But, obviously the rest of our R had some good to it or I would have left myself.
So....for now, baby steps, don't spook the squirrel, keep up the PMA/GAL activity and go have a nice drive on Saturday?
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/18/13 08:27 AM
Originally Posted By: MileHigh
So....for now, baby steps, don't spook the squirrel, keep up the PMA/GAL activity and go have a nice drive on Saturday?
Exactly
I know it's hard playing this waiting game. My H still asks me to record things so we can watch them together, but at this moment in time I feel like deleting the ones I've already watched and H hasn't seen yet!Next time she says we need to talk about this, blah blah etc. listen to what she has to say. However much you feel it would hurt you, it's another hurdle you have to get over when you feel ready to take it.
I hear what you're saying about moving on with flirty waitresses, although for me it's not flirty waitresses, lol. Although I'm not ready for another relationship at the mo, I wonder how long I will be able to wait around for him. Then again, you know what my feelings are towards him at the mo!
You've come a long way with your W and as I said you feel that you're stuck in limbo at the mo. Something will happen one day that will bring you closer just a little bit more
When your W said she won't go to MC with you because she doesn't like talking to strangers about your sitch, that is exactly what my H said. Maybe when she comes round and wants to start again, she may feel more interested in going to MC. You can piece without MC, but I feel it will be very difficult. I know this as I didn't go to MC the first time round and I don't think that all our issues were resolved.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/18/13 01:53 PM
Originally Posted By: MileHigh
So....for now, baby steps, don't spook the squirrel, keep up the PMA/GAL activity and go have a nice drive on Saturday?
You got it MH
Those baby steps are very important.Enjoy the drive and the company!
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/18/13 05:40 PM
Good GAL today. Even though I got up late and was sleepy. I went out to get the mail, and decided the weather was nice enough for a quick bike ride, even tho it was a bit cool. I like to ride around and look at other people's houses and get ideas for DIY stuff - I'm a garage/shop/yard voyeur!.
Since my vaca started it's been a mix of DIY shows, movies, and YouTube vids. Intermixed with DB Forum/FB, some mp3 listening and tweaking (darn those mp3 tags. LOL).
So, on that bike ride, I took a rode I'd never traveled. Amazing what you can find right near home. Cruised down a nice big hill, so while pondering the opportunity for exercise on the way back up, I spotted a big, flat rock between the road and the creek. I sat on it and just meditated a bit - used to just call it spacing out.
Was a good battery recharge! And that hill was some good exercise. Made it back up without stopping. Barely!
I went out to get the mail, and decided the weather was nice enough for a quick bike ride, even tho it was a bit cool. I like to ride around and look at other people's houses and get ideas for DIY stuff - I'm a garage/shop/yard voyeur!. Since my vaca started it's been a mix of DIY shows, movies, and YouTube vids. Intermixed with DB Forum/FB, some mp3 listening and tweaking (darn those mp3 tags. LOL).
So, on that bike ride, I took a rode I'd never traveled. Amazing what you can find right near home. Cruised down a nice big hill, so while pondering the opportunity for exercise on the way back up, I spotted a big, flat rock between the road and the creek. I sat on it and just meditated a bit - used to just call it spacing out.
Was a good battery recharge! And that hill was some good exercise. Made it back up without stopping. Barely!
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/18/13 05:42 PM
Sounds like you're having a great vacation I've got a week's holiday in a week's time, I can't wait
I've got a week's holiday in a week's time, I can't wait
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/18/13 05:49 PM
I'm jealous of both of you - I've got only got 3 days left for this year, and one of those is scheduled for Remembrance Day (S13 has Cadet commitments). Boy do I miss the 4 weeks plus that I had back in the UK. Over here it's two weeks and maybe one week for personal/sick leave depending on the company and job level(although my bosses allow me to use that for holiday as well as long as I use it).
Glad to hear you're getting some relaxation in on your vacation MH.
Glad to hear you're getting some relaxation in on your vacation MH
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Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/18/13 06:52 PM
"but if I want to talk"
Don't. She has already told you that she wants to rebuild your friendship and see where it goes from there. You keep pushing her and she will not want to come back.
Don't. She has already told you that she wants to rebuild your friendship and see where it goes from there. You keep pushing her and she will not want to come back.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/18/13 07:12 PM
"My problem is I most definitely would like to hear what she is thinking. All I can see is that she clearly misses some of what we had, but can't commit to working on M yet. She's happy to spend every weekend with me and sometimes more. We chat/text through the day. She wants me to keep recording shows that we can watch together. All of that is fine, but there's always that burning desire to know what she's thinking, doing, planning...."
Oh DMR, I agree with Mr. Bond, don't bring it up. Don't. When she is ready to talk about your marriage, she will. I know exactly what you mean, that you are dying to know what W is thinking, planning. I was just telling Bright that I drive myself nuts observing and trying to analyze my H's every word, gesture, twitch, to try to figure out what he is thinking. Well, he let me know a couple of days ago, and it wasn't pretty
I can see a LOT of movement in your W, a lot of positive movement towards you. She seems to really have changed a lot in her attitude towards you. She did not flip out when she got that email that you had named her OM's phone number "Handyman." (the fact that your phone company sent her that email at all, let alone at 5am, was extremely strange by the way). She wants to spend time with you, to go out for drives and to eat, still wants you to tape her favorite shows. I know you are impatient for your marriage to get back on track, to get better than how it was before, to have her emotionally and physically committed to you. I get that the physical thing is a big part of your frustration. But I am very afraid that if you approach her, you'll scare her off, and drive her way back into that MLC tunnel again. You said it best yourself -- stick to baby steps and don't spook the squirrel
Enjoy the rest of your vacation! Maybe you can find yourself a car, wouldn't that be nice!
PS I am a nurse. Do not ever ever mix up your long and short acting insulins again mister, do you understand me?
Oh DMR, I agree with Mr. Bond, don't bring it up. Don't. When she is ready to talk about your marriage, she will. I know exactly what you mean, that you are dying to know what W is thinking, planning. I was just telling Bright that I drive myself nuts observing and trying to analyze my H's every word, gesture, twitch, to try to figure out what he is thinking. Well, he let me know a couple of days ago, and it wasn't pretty
I can see a LOT of movement in your W, a lot of positive movement towards you. She seems to really have changed a lot in her attitude towards you. She did not flip out when she got that email that you had named her OM's phone number "Handyman." (the fact that your phone company sent her that email at all, let alone at 5am, was extremely strange by the way). She wants to spend time with you, to go out for drives and to eat, still wants you to tape her favorite shows. I know you are impatient for your marriage to get back on track, to get better than how it was before, to have her emotionally and physically committed to you. I get that the physical thing is a big part of your frustration. But I am very afraid that if you approach her, you'll scare her off, and drive her way back into that MLC tunnel again. You said it best yourself -- stick to baby steps and don't spook the squirrel
Enjoy the rest of your vacation! Maybe you can find yourself a car, wouldn't that be nice!
PS I am a nurse. Do not ever ever mix up your long and short acting insulins again mister, do you understand me?
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/18/13 07:17 PM
On the upside, the other day I decided to get her some of those little cans of Diet Coke to keep in the fridge here, since I've been buying 2-Litre bottles and she prefers cans. I got the little ones because she's trying to cut back on it.
She showed up with a bag of mini candy bars that she saw at the store and knows I like.
A while back on here I posted about how she has always done little thoughtful things like that and how I need to do it more often.
Right in sync that day.
She showed up with a bag of mini candy bars that she saw at the store and knows I like.
A while back on here I posted about how she has always done little thoughtful things like that and how I need to do it more often.
Right in sync that day.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/18/13 07:42 PM
Originally Posted By: RosaLinda
PS I am a nurse. Do not ever ever mix up your long and short acting insulins again mister, do you understand me?
Thanks, RL. I was just thinking how I hadn't checked in on you in a while, and I had just posted on here and hadn't seen your post. Then I went to my email and there was the notification of it. Timing.
I *promise* I'll be more careful. Somehow I made it through being very depressed with no problems, then I go and do that just out of absentmindedness and and exhaustion.
I hear ya. Ditto MrBond. I'll stay on track. No since going off the rails after coming this far.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/19/13 05:21 PM
I was interrupted by the Weekend-W / Friend-W / Part-Time-W - whatever her status us. She wanted to come over to watch The Walking Dead and then we went to see The Fifth Estate.
My first thought was "Dang it. I had stuff to do! We're already spending tomorrow together." Is that progress?
Turns out she is tired (and so am I) so it's going to be dinner tomorrow at the Mexican restaurant instead of a drive in the country today.
After she left last night (or early this morning really as we went to a 10 PM movie) I got crazy and brought the dolly in to move a desk and tall wooden file cabinet. Had to get them up 3 steps and down a narrow hall with a tricky turn at the end. And before that I had loaded a shelf into the car for W that I had said she could use. What? Doesn't everyone move furniture at 2 AM. In their underwear? Kidding about the underwear. Sweats!
She toyed with the idea of buying something new but quickly decided to use the one we had. I get irked when she spends money on stuff for that house - for the obvious reasons and also for the financial reasons - that being one of our biggest problems in our life together. Other than the... uh... you know...
She wanted to come over to watch The Walking Dead and then we went to see The Fifth Estate. My first thought was "Dang it. I had stuff to do! We're already spending tomorrow together." Is that progress?
Turns out she is tired (and so am I) so it's going to be dinner tomorrow at the Mexican restaurant instead of a drive in the country today.
After she left last night (or early this morning really as we went to a 10 PM movie)
I got crazy and brought the dolly in to move a desk and tall wooden file cabinet. Had to get them up 3 steps and down a narrow hall with a tricky turn at the end. And before that I had loaded a shelf into the car for W that I had said she could use. What? Doesn't everyone move furniture at 2 AM. In their underwear? Kidding about the underwear. Sweats! She toyed with the idea of buying something new but quickly decided to use the one we had. I get irked when she spends money on stuff for that house - for the obvious reasons and also for the financial reasons - that being one of our biggest problems in our life together. Other than the... uh... you know...
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/19/13 05:46 PM
Oh no MH is still on a deluttering/house clearance mission. MH you're getting obsessed! lol. I suggest you read this book I've ordered called "The ministry of a messy house". It may help you de-stress a bit about these major house improvements, lol. Actually it's only because I'm jealous and I can't motivate myself to do much around the house. I did some work today, but nothing big to comment on
Sounds like you had a nice time with the W
Sounds like you had a nice time with the W
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/19/13 11:04 PM
Originally Posted By: TryingToDo180
Oh no MH is still on a deluttering/house clearance mission. MH you're getting obsessed! lol.
I'm thinking that it's time we started listing off shows again and give him something else to do LOL.
But, glad you had a nice time with the W.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/19/13 11:07 PM
Originally Posted By: MileHigh
I was interrupted by the Weekend-W / Friend-W / Part-Time-W - whatever her status us. She wanted to come over to watch The Walking Dead and then we went to see The Fifth Estate.
My first thought was "Dang it. I had stuff to do! We're already spending tomorrow together." Is that progress?
She wanted to come over to watch The Walking Dead and then we went to see The Fifth Estate. My first thought was "Dang it. I had stuff to do! We're already spending tomorrow together." Is that progress?
I’d say it’s progress. You’re starting to feel that you don’t need to constantly be with her, that you have your own things to do. Keep it up
.Originally Posted By: MileHigh
What? Doesn't everyone move furniture at 2 AM. In their underwear?
Not an image you’d want anyone to have in their head LOL
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Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/20/13 01:15 AM
Just picture Tom Cruise dancing in his underwear in Risky Business. Just like that. Only in boxers. And no music. And... Never mind. As you were....
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/20/13 01:21 AM
I keep fighting the urge to offer help with some medical bills. Still not sure how we're going to pay the taxes on 2 houses. Of course, if she doesn't have the $ it'll go on the CC. 
Instead of doing all the lab test at once they did labs for her checkup, scheduled a follow up, another set of labs, and it seems the insurance only paid a fraction of the cost of the second tests.
Instead of doing all the lab test at once they did labs for her checkup, scheduled a follow up, another set of labs, and it seems the insurance only paid a fraction of the cost of the second tests.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/20/13 01:53 AM
Originally Posted By: MileHigh
Just picture Tom Cruise dancing in his underwear in Risky Business. Just like that. Only in boxers. And no music. And... Never mind. As you were....
Still not an image I'd want MH - I'm not much of a Tom Cruise fan. Any other suggestions
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/20/13 02:39 AM
Brad Pitt? Russel Crowe? Hughe Jackman? Robert Downey Jr? LOL
I forgot about a little victory I had yesterday. While making the long drive to the movie theater, twice W changed the radio station from a song I really liked. The old me would have fussed about it, figuring the one who does all the driving should get the most say in the music choices (and heating/cooling!). But, I just reminded myself that I have both of those songs on mp3 and could listen to them any time, and enjoyed what was on and the peaceful drive.
One of the 2 new theaters being built closer to both of us has opened. With the other I follow soon. That should help cut down the stress, and fuel costs, of our movie dates.
I forgot about a little victory I had yesterday. While making the long drive to the movie theater, twice W changed the radio station from a song I really liked. The old me would have fussed about it, figuring the one who does all the driving should get the most say in the music choices (and heating/cooling!). But, I just reminded myself that I have both of those songs on mp3 and could listen to them any time, and enjoyed what was on and the peaceful drive.
One of the 2 new theaters being built closer to both of us has opened. With the other I follow soon. That should help cut down the stress, and fuel costs, of our movie dates.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/20/13 08:29 AM
You're getting too frugal for your own good lol. It's good really I can't be anything but frugal as I'm always broke! I spend all my spare cash on more books, lol.
lol. It's good really I can't be anything but frugal as I'm always broke! I spend all my spare cash on more books, lol.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/20/13 12:20 PM
Originally Posted By: MileHigh
Brad Pitt? Russel Crowe? Hughe Jackman? Robert Downey Jr? LOL
Mmmm, Hugh Jackman can move my furniture in his underwear any time of day or night LOL
Originally Posted By: MileHigh
I forgot about a little victory I had yesterday. While making the long drive to the movie theater, twice W changed the radio station from a song I really liked. The old me would have fussed about it, figuring the one who does all the driving should get the most say in the music choices (and heating/cooling!). But, I just reminded myself that I have both of those songs on mp3 and could listen to them any time, and enjoyed what was on and the peaceful drive.
Well done, keep up the good work
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Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/20/13 02:17 PM
Good for you DMR, for not fussing over W changing the radio station from a song you liked. Little victories add up over time. I thought it was a man thing, my H is in charge of the radio station AND heat no matter which of us is driving. And the TV remote.
"that being one of our biggest problems in our life together. Other than the... uh... you know.." Have you tried any casual touch with your wife? My DB coach Chuck suggested it - just a casual hand on H's arm or friendly pat on the shoulder, to get him used to me again. I felt like I was trying to tame one of TSquared's feral cats, but had finally gotten him to not flinching away from me. I have not attempted it since BD#3 last week, but if he doesn't leave me, maybe will start over. Maybe it would help your sitch too, not sure, but you could try it once then drop it if she freaks out!
If you're still in still in a cleaning-house-in-my-underwear mood, please feel free to come on over here to Long Island and move all the furniture you want
"that being one of our biggest problems in our life together. Other than the... uh... you know.." Have you tried any casual touch with your wife? My DB coach Chuck suggested it - just a casual hand on H's arm or friendly pat on the shoulder, to get him used to me again. I felt like I was trying to tame one of TSquared's feral cats, but had finally gotten him to not flinching away from me. I have not attempted it since BD#3 last week, but if he doesn't leave me, maybe will start over. Maybe it would help your sitch too, not sure, but you could try it once then drop it if she freaks out!
If you're still in still in a cleaning-house-in-my-underwear mood, please feel free to come on over here to Long Island and move all the furniture you want
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/20/13 03:35 PM
lol now I have visions if you cleaning the house in your underwear and wearing an apron MH I didn't congratulate you either for letting your W get her own way in the car, well done
I didn't congratulate you either for letting your W get her own way in the car, well done
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/21/13 12:39 AM
Hopefully they're better than visions of Frank Skinner dancing in his underwear to the Benga Boys "Going to Ibiza" - every time I heard that song for weeks after that episode I got that image all over again LOL.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/21/13 01:43 AM
RL, I'll have to try that. Never occured to me to start smaller than a hug. Duh. Go, Chuck. Glad we have pros on the job.
Let's see, how far to Long Island.... Have dolly, will travel.
W called me today because she still felt tired from her cold and wasn't up for the drive over to go to dinner. We had a nice chat - way, cool, for us. Even pre-BD we sucked at phone calls. She felt bad because I had to pay take a cab home from my "retreat" for my stress reduction/mindfullness class.
She was texting me several times until I got home. Must be worried I was prowling for babes in town today.
Speaking of touch - today at my class we did some exercises that involved touching (not anything innapropriate and not always opposite sex) but it was amazing how starved I was for even just the touch of someone's hand. I should book a massage. A *legitimate* massage!. And for now, a cold shower. Then maybe I'll drag some furniture around. <sigh>
Let's see, how far to Long Island.... Have dolly, will travel.
W called me today because she still felt tired from her cold and wasn't up for the drive over to go to dinner. We had a nice chat - way, cool, for us. Even pre-BD we sucked at phone calls. She felt bad because I had to pay take a cab home from my "retreat" for my stress reduction/mindfullness class.
She was texting me several times until I got home. Must be worried I was prowling for babes in town today.
Speaking of touch - today at my class we did some exercises that involved touching (not anything innapropriate and not always opposite sex) but it was amazing how starved I was for even just the touch of someone's hand. I should book a massage. A *legitimate* massage!
. And for now, a cold shower. Then maybe I'll drag some furniture around. <sigh>
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/21/13 05:54 AM
I've got someone coming in for a full body massage on Weds. I was going to have a bloke come in, but I chickened out of that one. They can still get aroused you know and I'd get totally embarrassed (so will he I think!) I was going to have my gay friend come in, but I even chickened out of that one, lol. NQ, I don't remember that one of Frank Skinnner:)
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/21/13 07:57 PM
Originally Posted By: TryingToDo180
NQ, I don't remember that one of Frank Skinnner:)
It'll be on YouTube - I can't actually watch it at the moment as I've got parental controls in place on YouTube on my computer and I haven't figured out how to temporarily override them LOL. S13 is fairly sensible so I might turn them off altogether on YouTube - just leave the internet controls on for now.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/22/13 01:30 PM
Originally Posted By: MileHigh
Let's see, how far to Long Island.... Have dolly, will travel.
Don’t forget you’ve promised to help out TTD and I – although we are a bit further away LOL
.Originally Posted By: MileHigh
W called me today because she still felt tired from her cold and wasn't up for the drive over to go to dinner. We had a nice chat - way, cool, for us. Even pre-BD we sucked at phone calls. She felt bad because I had to pay take a cab home from my "retreat" for my stress reduction/mindfullness class.
She was texting me several times until I got home. Must be worried I was prowling for babes in town today.
She was texting me several times until I got home. Must be worried I was prowling for babes in town today.
Positive signs MH – she’s feeling bad about letting you down.
Love the bit about “prowling for babes in town”
. Originally Posted By: MileHigh
Speaking of touch - today at my class we did some exercises that involved touching (not anything innapropriate and not always opposite sex) but it was amazing how starved I was for even just the touch of someone's hand. I should book a massage. A *legitimate* massage! . And for now, a cold shower. Then maybe I'll drag some furniture around. <sigh>
. And for now, a cold shower. Then maybe I'll drag some furniture around. <sigh> Sometimes it’s the littlest things we miss the most.
Take it easy moving furniture – you don’t want to strain something. Especially if you haven’t managed to get your massage booked yet
.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/22/13 11:38 PM
Well DMR, I just struck out with casual touch We had a gorgeous sunset and H and I and S28 went out to look at it. I lay my hand on H's arm and he jerked away and said "heeeey" Oh well. I'll try again tomorrow. Have you attempted it?
We had a gorgeous sunset and H and I and S28 went out to look at it. I lay my hand on H's arm and he jerked away and said "heeeey" Oh well. I'll try again tomorrow. Have you attempted it?
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/23/13 11:07 AM
The vacation continues. So far it's all a blur, and I have't even had a drink!
Sunday and Monday proved to me that making real changes is a long, hard process. Something like beating an addiction or losing weight and keeping it off. I've heard that if you can make it 5 yrs, you've got it... or something like that. Anyway, Sunday was the retreat for my stress management class. Sadly, it wasn't a retreat like we went to some nice place - it was the same place, just 4 hrs of silence, meditation, yoga and a vegetarian pot luck. Sounds awful, but it went fast (the instructors talk, and the meditation and exercises are guided). So, I left there feeling relaxed and at peace. As I was walking across the entrance of a parking lot, a guy driving towards the exit flipped me off and called me an a**hole for exercising my right-of-way. I was talking on my cell phone, but I was aware of what I was doing, not wandering like a zombie. And I had the right-of-way. Anyway, instead of ignoring it or laughing it off, I responded in like manner, and even escalated the yelling and gesture. To make it more embarrassing, I was on the phone with my mom! What would she have thought if that had escalated into street brawl over such a stupid incident.
I also was getting very impatient with the cats running all over my desk as I was having an epic battle with my mp3 collection. It's sad when something that's supposed to bring pleasure becomes a source of stress. I have put hours and hours into organizing and tagging music (and pictures) and I had a program pretty much mess up my entire collection and cause me to restore from backup. Besides the worry and stress I wasted a good part of 2 days of vacation! At some point, I childishly pushed a bunch of papers off my desk. Sigh.
On the upside, in both of these incidents, I caught myself, evaluated the situation, determined to do better next time, and let it go. I've thought about it a couple times to analyze it for improvement, but haven't obsessed about it or let the incidents themselves bother me further. Today at my regular class, I brought it up to amuse and enlighten others. Or at least to serve as a bad example.
I notice when I'm downtown for an evening, my W frequently texts. Tonight she seemed to be fishing to see if I was home yet. Sunday I had a nice walk around town, visited the library and had dinner out. I was going to go to a movie, but I had my backpack, and it had "contraband" food items in it and I didn't want to have an incident at the theater. So, tonight I splurged. I had my class, then spent some time at the library. Then I went to dinner. After that I had a nice coffee at the coffee shop and pondered how cool it would be to live in the apartments above the shops downtown. Then I went to the brand new theater (still has that new theater smell!). Flirted shamelessly with the lovely, friendly, talkative lady at the concession stand (yeah, I've still got it! LOL). I'm going to go over and help her organize her closets. Totally kidding. Anyway, after that I got the cats some of the very specific kind of food they want (fussy little critters!) and got myself a few things. And, of course, got a lot of walking in!
The only thing marring the experience was a growing headache. I need to make a Dr appt to sort out my migraine meds - and I forgot to take an over-the-counter pain reliever before heading out. So that got worse and worse until I got home and took some meds and tried to sleep. But, overall, a good night, anyway.
Sunday and Monday proved to me that making real changes is a long, hard process. Something like beating an addiction or losing weight and keeping it off. I've heard that if you can make it 5 yrs, you've got it... or something like that. Anyway, Sunday was the retreat for my stress management class. Sadly, it wasn't a retreat like we went to some nice place - it was the same place, just 4 hrs of silence, meditation, yoga and a vegetarian pot luck. Sounds awful, but it went fast (the instructors talk, and the meditation and exercises are guided). So, I left there feeling relaxed and at peace. As I was walking across the entrance of a parking lot, a guy driving towards the exit flipped me off and called me an a**hole for exercising my right-of-way. I was talking on my cell phone, but I was aware of what I was doing, not wandering like a zombie. And I had the right-of-way. Anyway, instead of ignoring it or laughing it off, I responded in like manner, and even escalated the yelling and gesture. To make it more embarrassing, I was on the phone with my mom! What would she have thought if that had escalated into street brawl over such a stupid incident.
I also was getting very impatient with the cats running all over my desk as I was having an epic battle with my mp3 collection. It's sad when something that's supposed to bring pleasure becomes a source of stress. I have put hours and hours into organizing and tagging music (and pictures) and I had a program pretty much mess up my entire collection and cause me to restore from backup. Besides the worry and stress I wasted a good part of 2 days of vacation! At some point, I childishly pushed a bunch of papers off my desk. Sigh.
On the upside, in both of these incidents, I caught myself, evaluated the situation, determined to do better next time, and let it go. I've thought about it a couple times to analyze it for improvement, but haven't obsessed about it or let the incidents themselves bother me further. Today at my regular class, I brought it up to amuse and enlighten others. Or at least to serve as a bad example.
I notice when I'm downtown for an evening, my W frequently texts. Tonight she seemed to be fishing to see if I was home yet. Sunday I had a nice walk around town, visited the library and had dinner out. I was going to go to a movie, but I had my backpack, and it had "contraband" food items in it and I didn't want to have an incident at the theater. So, tonight I splurged. I had my class, then spent some time at the library. Then I went to dinner. After that I had a nice coffee at the coffee shop and pondered how cool it would be to live in the apartments above the shops downtown. Then I went to the brand new theater (still has that new theater smell!). Flirted shamelessly with the lovely, friendly, talkative lady at the concession stand (yeah, I've still got it!
LOL). I'm going to go over and help her organize her closets. Totally kidding. Anyway, after that I got the cats some of the very specific kind of food they want (fussy little critters!) and got myself a few things. And, of course, got a lot of walking in!The only thing marring the experience was a growing headache. I need to make a Dr appt to sort out my migraine meds - and I forgot to take an over-the-counter pain reliever before heading out. So that got worse and worse until I got home and took some meds and tried to sleep. But, overall, a good night, anyway.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/23/13 11:16 AM
NQ, don't worry. You and TTD won't be forgotten. The dejunking tour is a global event. LOL. Pud can get on the schedule, too.
RL, so sorry about the H acting like you touched him with a hot poker. I've had that with my Ex and with W after first BD. It's very hurtful. W and I haven't seen each other since we've discussed this, so I've just been plotting my "attack."
The cats have forgiven me for my impatience with them. Little one is sitting on the desk right now purring away and trying to give me kisses. At least someone around here wants to touch me. LOL.
So, TTD and NQ - the little shop below the studio where my class is has a lot of Brit stuff. HP Sauce, Heinz beans, those Curly Wurly bars (yum) some different kinds of cream - forget the brand, and other stuff I can't remember at the mo. I'll have to stock up so I can have a proper tea while watching Fools and Horses and such.
RL, so sorry about the H acting like you touched him with a hot poker. I've had that with my Ex and with W after first BD. It's very hurtful. W and I haven't seen each other since we've discussed this, so I've just been plotting my "attack."
The cats have forgiven me for my impatience with them. Little one is sitting on the desk right now purring away and trying to give me kisses. At least someone around here wants to touch me. LOL.
So, TTD and NQ - the little shop below the studio where my class is has a lot of Brit stuff. HP Sauce, Heinz beans, those Curly Wurly bars (yum) some different kinds of cream - forget the brand, and other stuff I can't remember at the mo. I'll have to stock up so I can have a proper tea while watching Fools and Horses and such.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/23/13 01:20 PM
Originally Posted By: MileHigh
The vacation continues. So far it's all a blur, and I have't even had a drink!
That either means you’re enjoying your time off or you’re too busy to be enjoying it LOL
.Originally Posted By: MileHigh
So, I left there feeling relaxed and at peace. As I was walking across the entrance of a parking lot, a guy driving towards the exit flipped me off and called me an a**hole for exercising my right-of-way. I was talking on my cell phone, but I was aware of what I was doing, not wandering like a zombie. And I had the right-of-way. Anyway, instead of ignoring it or laughing it off, I responded in like manner, and even escalated the yelling and gesture. To make it more embarrassing, I was on the phone with my mom! What would she have thought if that had escalated into street brawl over such a stupid incident.
Guessing you weren’t as relaxed and at peace as you thought LOL. A bit of public venting
?Originally Posted By: MileHigh
I also was getting very impatient with the cats running all over my desk as I was having an epic battle with my mp3 collection. It's sad when something that's supposed to bring pleasure becomes a source of stress. I have put hours and hours into organizing and tagging music (and pictures) and I had a program pretty much mess up my entire collection and cause me to restore from backup. Besides the worry and stress I wasted a good part of 2 days of vacation! At some point, I childishly pushed a bunch of papers off my desk. Sigh.
Poor kitties
. They're only trying to get your attention.Originally Posted By: MileHigh
On the upside, in both of these incidents, I caught myself, evaluated the situation, determined to do better next time, and let it go. I've thought about it a couple times to analyze it for improvement, but haven't obsessed about it or let the incidents themselves bother me further. Today at my regular class, I brought it up to amuse and enlighten others. Or at least to serve as a bad example.
This is a real positive. You know what you did wrong, you analyzed your actions and you’re not dwelling on them. Keep it up
.Originally Posted By: MileHigh
I notice when I'm downtown for an evening, my W frequently texts. Tonight she seemed to be fishing to see if I was home yet. Sunday I had a nice walk around town, visited the library and had dinner out. I was going to go to a movie, but I had my backpack, and it had "contraband" food items in it and I didn't want to have an incident at the theater. So, tonight I splurged. I had my class, then spent some time at the library. Then I went to dinner. After that I had a nice coffee at the coffee shop and pondered how cool it would be to live in the apartments above the shops downtown. Then I went to the brand new theater (still has that new theater smell!). Flirted shamelessly with the lovely, friendly, talkative lady at the concession stand (yeah, I've still got it! LOL). I'm going to go over and help her organize her closets. Totally kidding. Anyway, after that I got the cats some of the very specific kind of food they want (fussy little critters!) and got myself a few things. And, of course, got a lot of walking in!
LOL). I'm going to go over and help her organize her closets. Totally kidding. Anyway, after that I got the cats some of the very specific kind of food they want (fussy little critters!) and got myself a few things. And, of course, got a lot of walking in! More flirty women, MH. Although it does make one feel good doesn’t it
.Originally Posted By: MileHigh
NQ, don't worry. You and TTD won't be forgotten. The dejunking tour is a global event. LOL. Pud can get on the schedule, too.
Glad to hear it LOL
.Originally Posted By: MileHigh
RL, so sorry about the H acting like you touched him with a hot poker. I've had that with my Ex and with W after first BD. It's very hurtful. W and I haven't seen each other since we've discussed this, so I've just been plotting my "attack."
I would even think of trying a casual touch with my H right now. I can barely get an entire conversation without him becoming moody and snappy for no reason. He’s still way too wrapped up in OW despite him saying more than once that he doesn’t see a future with her
. Oh well, maybe one day. In the meantime I’ll have to settle for the fact that I get at least one hug a day from my son . Not the same but it’ll have to do for now.Originally Posted By: MileHigh
The cats have forgiven me for my impatience with them. Little one is sitting on the desk right now purring away and trying to give me kisses. At least someone around here wants to touch me. LOL.
Did you think they wouldn’t forgive you?
Originally Posted By: MileHigh
So, TTD and NQ - the little shop below the studio where my class is has a lot of Brit stuff. HP Sauce, Heinz beans, those Curly Wurly bars (yum) some different kinds of cream - forget the brand, and other stuff I can't remember at the mo. I'll have to stock up so I can have a proper tea while watching Fools and Horses and such.
Hmmm, a Brit shop you say. My son wants to visit a couple of places in the US. Maybe when I get the passports sorted and the cash to fulfill his “want to visit” list, I’ll have to include a tour of the Brit shops as well LOL
.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/23/13 09:21 PM
Sounds like your vacation is becoming a bit of an adventure Mind you, you make ordinary life sound like a bit of an adventure MH, lol
Do your cats go outside? As it's nice weather at the mo, my cats go out a bit more during the day. They leave me alone at night because both of them are shattered, lol. They're both curles up asleep at the mo, one on the sofa and one on top of the display cabinet, lol.
Mind you, you make ordinary life sound like a bit of an adventure MH, lol Do your cats go outside? As it's nice weather at the mo, my cats go out a bit more during the day. They leave me alone at night because both of them are shattered, lol. They're both curles up asleep at the mo, one on the sofa and one on top of the display cabinet, lol.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/24/13 01:11 AM
Mine are indoor only. We had too many cats meet bad ends, so W wouldn't let the last few go out. Which means I have to make sure they get plenty of playtime and attention so they have nice, happy lives. With me working from home, sometimes it's like being trapped in the asylum with the inmates!
With me working from home, sometimes it's like being trapped in the asylum with the inmates!
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/24/13 02:27 AM
At least by not going out, they don't come home covered with scratches and bites - ours was a real tom cat and very territorial. If he didn't come in at night, we could be pretty sure he'd have fresh battle wounds in the morning.
I'm thinking about getting either a puppy or a cat. H doesn't like cats, despite growing up with them, so would never let us get a cat. S13 desperately wants a pet of some sort - he's even said he'll take a goldfish as a pet. My dad isn't fond of dogs but I reckon if I bought one home he'd accept it. He does like cats so I'm kind of leaning that way. It would have to be an indoor cat though - too many raccoons and coyotes in our neighbourhood.
I'm thinking about getting either a puppy or a cat. H doesn't like cats, despite growing up with them, so would never let us get a cat. S13 desperately wants a pet of some sort - he's even said he'll take a goldfish as a pet. My dad isn't fond of dogs but I reckon if I bought one home he'd accept it. He does like cats so I'm kind of leaning that way. It would have to be an indoor cat though - too many raccoons and coyotes in our neighbourhood.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/24/13 08:16 AM
I know what you mean about war wounds. My cat had a cut on her ear and it never healed up properly. She acts more like a tomcat, not very feminine at all! My little one doesn't like going outside that much especially if it's cold or wet, but she's starting to go out more now she's getting older.
The garage is the playpen for my little cat. As soon as the garage door opens, she's in there jumping on the freezer and up on the wood on the top where there's storage boxes. She'll then look down at me with that "can't get me" look, so I close the garage door and let her out when she meows, lol. I'm not letting freezing cold air into the house.
NQ, if your H hates cats then be prepared to get rid of it if he ever comes back. I know revenge is sweet, but it might be going a bit too far However he might get to like cats, you never know. This MLC has the opposite effect you know! My H liked cats when he was living here, but now he thinks they shed hairs everywhere and permanently got fleas so he moans about them. The times that I saw the old H was when the little cat went to sit on his lap and he makes a fuss
The garage is the playpen for my little cat. As soon as the garage door opens, she's in there jumping on the freezer and up on the wood on the top where there's storage boxes. She'll then look down at me with that "can't get me" look, so I close the garage door and let her out when she meows, lol. I'm not letting freezing cold air into the house.
NQ, if your H hates cats then be prepared to get rid of it if he ever comes back. I know revenge is sweet, but it might be going a bit too far
However he might get to like cats, you never know. This MLC has the opposite effect you know! My H liked cats when he was living here, but now he thinks they shed hairs everywhere and permanently got fleas so he moans about them. The times that I saw the old H was when the little cat went to sit on his lap and he makes a fuss
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/24/13 01:27 PM
Originally Posted By: TryingToDo180
I know what you mean about war wounds. My cat had a cut on her ear and it never healed up properly. She acts more like a tomcat, not very feminine at all! My little one doesn't like going outside that much especially if it's cold or wet, but she's starting to go out more now she's getting older.
Ours was missing a big chunk of one ear and had scars all over the place from all the fights he got into. And no matter how hard we tried, he wouldn’t always come in at night. There weren’t any coyotes in the area then so it was safer in that respect, but there were a lot more outdoor cats in those days. Nowadays there’s no way I’d want a cat to stay out overnight – he might end up as coyote food.
Originally Posted By: TryingToDo180
NQ, if your H hates cats then be prepared to get rid of it if he ever comes back. I know revenge is sweet, but it might be going a bit too far However he might get to like cats, you never know. This MLC has the opposite effect you know! My H liked cats when he was living here, but now he thinks they shed hairs everywhere and permanently got fleas so he moans about them. The times that I saw the old H was when the little cat went to sit on his lap and he makes a fuss
However he might get to like cats, you never know. This MLC has the opposite effect you know! My H liked cats when he was living here, but now he thinks they shed hairs everywhere and permanently got fleas so he moans about them. The times that I saw the old H was when the little cat went to sit on his lap and he makes a fuss H doesn’t really hate them; it’s just another one of his excuse. He does prefer dogs, the bigger the better. And the way things are right now, the chances of him moving back are extremely slim. He is too wrapped in OW and his fantasy life, and has adamantly stated that he will never live in the same house as my dad ever again. More MLC opposite as he always said that my dad was the closest thing he had to a dad himself since he was 9 (he was living with his dad until he was sent back to live with his mother when his dad's GF’s son decided he didn’t like H). Don’t get me wrong, I’m not giving up yet; I’m just preparing myself for life without H as that is seeming more and more likely these days.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/24/13 10:59 PM
Well if he doesn't mind cats, then you've got a reason to get one, especially if your dad doesn't like dogs.
NQ, he may seem wrapped up in OW at the mo, but that will soon fizzle out. You can't just forget 16 years of marriage, however much they try to. The way I see it is that this OW is someone on the rebound. I couldn't even imagine having a relationship with a bloke at the mo. If I found one that I could just cuddle on the sofa for company then that would be ideal, but men always want more and I can't begin to imagine going to bed with another man at the mo!
NQ, he may seem wrapped up in OW at the mo, but that will soon fizzle out. You can't just forget 16 years of marriage, however much they try to. The way I see it is that this OW is someone on the rebound. I couldn't even imagine having a relationship with a bloke at the mo. If I found one that I could just cuddle on the sofa for company then that would be ideal, but men always want more and I can't begin to imagine going to bed with another man at the mo!
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/24/13 11:42 PM
Thanks for the support and pep talk TTD. Guess I'm just feeling a little down. Last week was our engagement anniversary LOL - no I didn't mention it to H, and we're rapidly coming up on the anniversary of him meeting OW and of BD.
I totally agree about not being able to imagine being in a relationship at the mo - unless of course he was a DB pro LOL . Yep, I do miss the cuddles as well, and even just a brush of a hand. Hugs from my son help a bit, but they just aren't the same.
I totally agree about not being able to imagine being in a relationship at the mo - unless of course he was a DB pro LOL
. Yep, I do miss the cuddles as well, and even just a brush of a hand. Hugs from my son help a bit, but they just aren't the same.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/25/13 08:47 AM
Glad I was able to cheer you up a bit NQ, keep your chin up and don't let the b******s grind you down
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/25/13 01:18 PM
I'm trying TTD but as you know sometimes it's very hard.
No more pity parties allowed. This may be a hijack permitted zone, but we're going to have to make our threads pity party banned zones
No more pity parties allowed. This may be a hijack permitted zone, but we're going to have to make our threads pity party banned zones
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/25/13 02:59 PM
lol NQ I think we still need pity parties from time to time or to vent. I know it's tough not to let these Bs grind you down. I'm dreading seeing H tomorrow, I've not seen him since our last phone call. I may just send my son out of the door when he pulls up. Not making excuses for him, but being in this MLC fog he's probably not realised how much he's upset me. He's probably forgotten all about the phone call! But then I'm mind reading now, lol.
I think we still need pity parties from time to time or to vent. I know it's tough not to let these Bs grind you down. I'm dreading seeing H tomorrow, I've not seen him since our last phone call. I may just send my son out of the door when he pulls up. Not making excuses for him, but being in this MLC fog he's probably not realised how much he's upset me. He's probably forgotten all about the phone call! But then I'm mind reading now, lol.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/25/13 03:03 PM
Ok, we'll keep the pity parties - just as long as we keep them to a minimum LOL.
Of course he doesn't know how much he's upset you. Mine looks at me like I'm completely off my rocker when he triggers the tears, and mine forgets complete conversations as well.
Why not be just about ready to go out when he picks up your son, a "too busy getting ready and can't chat" sort of thing. Make sure the mail is ready to be handed over as well - don't give him a reason to loiter.
Of course he doesn't know how much he's upset you. Mine looks at me like I'm completely off my rocker when he triggers the tears, and mine forgets complete conversations as well.
Why not be just about ready to go out when he picks up your son, a "too busy getting ready and can't chat" sort of thing. Make sure the mail is ready to be handed over as well - don't give him a reason to loiter.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/25/13 05:37 PM
Good idea NQ You must've had plenty of practice at doing this, lol.
You must've had plenty of practice at doing this, lol.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/25/13 05:59 PM
Not yet as H has done the visiting at our place. This weekend is the first time our son is going to H's place for the day, and I'm going to be driving. Not sure if I'll get away with "got to be somewhere else soon" as not much opens that early Sunday mornings and H would never believe me if I said I was going to church.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/25/13 08:58 PM
There's a 180 for you right away, start going to Church Only kidding There's plenty of excuses for a Sunday morning, you're going out to lunch with a friend being one of them How about it's back to Church Sunday and my friend's just invited me to come to Church with her, hehe
Only kidding There's plenty of excuses for a Sunday morning, you're going out to lunch with a friend being one of them How about it's back to Church Sunday and my friend's just invited me to come to Church with her, hehe
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/25/13 10:41 PM
He's supposedly turning up at 8:00 to pick up our son. I suppose I could be meeting a friend for brunch. That's too early even for church so it would have to be one of the brunch-serving places or maybe Timmies for coffee - they're 24/7 LOL.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/26/13 03:23 AM
Yesterday W came over to watch The Walking Dead, and we wen't to dinner. She was fairly tired and crabby. She wants to go to movie tomorrow. Hopefully she'll be rested up and in better mood.
My reports from the field are pretty monotonous, aren't they?
She saw I had the snow shovels and rock salt lined up and asked if I could put a shovel in the car and if there was extra salt. I let her pick a shovel (we have 4 - don't ask...) and fixed her up with a coffee can of salt. At least she left me a good shovel, unlike the rake incident. So, does that make her an Acts of Service gal? She loves to have me do stuff like that - how hard is it to stop and pick up ice melt or salt? She really likes to do the helpless waif routine. She did mention the guy down the street who mows lawns is going to get a snow blower. That makes me feel better - believe, me, he's not another potential OM. He's a good guy, but wiped out from booze or drugs, and on disability.
She said Saturday she'd try to remember to bring the dishes (for the 3rd time... Sigh).
I wonder what she's going to do when it starts snowing. She hates, hates, hates driving in snow and used to go to great lengths to find excuses for me to drive her anywhere if it snowed even a tiny bit. And we met in AK! And I've gotten no closer to buying another car.
In other news, my BIL is on a full-blown MLC. My sister is probably going to lose her hose because he's mismanaged the money, and won't give her any help. He's a lifelong alcoholic, so his behavior has always been self-destructive. He has a big shop that he loves, so to give it all up to move into a hotel, he must have it bad.
My reports from the field are pretty monotonous, aren't they? She saw I had the snow shovels and rock salt lined up and asked if I could put a shovel in the car and if there was extra salt. I let her pick a shovel (we have 4 - don't ask...) and fixed her up with a coffee can of salt. At least she left me a good shovel, unlike the rake incident. So, does that make her an Acts of Service gal? She loves to have me do stuff like that - how hard is it to stop and pick up ice melt or salt? She really likes to do the helpless waif routine. She did mention the guy down the street who mows lawns is going to get a snow blower. That makes me feel better - believe, me, he's not another potential OM. He's a good guy, but wiped out from booze or drugs, and on disability.
She said Saturday she'd try to remember to bring the dishes (for the 3rd time... Sigh).
I wonder what she's going to do when it starts snowing. She hates, hates, hates driving in snow and used to go to great lengths to find excuses for me to drive her anywhere if it snowed even a tiny bit. And we met in AK! And I've gotten no closer to buying another car.
In other news, my BIL is on a full-blown MLC. My sister is probably going to lose her hose because he's mismanaged the money, and won't give her any help. He's a lifelong alcoholic, so his behavior has always been self-destructive. He has a big shop that he loves, so to give it all up to move into a hotel, he must have it bad.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/26/13 09:33 AM
Sorry to hear the news about your sister I guess the alcohol makes the MLC worse anyway.
I'm glad you've got a good relationship with your W, I'm quite jealous
Have a good time and hope that W is feeling a bit less grouchy tonight
I guess the alcohol makes the MLC worse anyway. I'm glad you've got a good relationship with your W, I'm quite jealous
Have a good time and hope that W is feeling a bit less grouchy tonight
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/26/13 02:33 PM
Ditto from me MH. Alcohol definitely makes the MLC worse - and yes, that's personal experience talking (my H's MLC includes heavier drinking).
I'm also jealous of your relationship, although it is good to see that it is not all bad news on here.
Enjoy your evening .
I'm also jealous of your relationship, although it is good to see that it is not all bad news on here.
Enjoy your evening
.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/27/13 05:37 AM
So, today was a little better than last time. W was all over the place, with indecisiveness, though. First we were going to go to dinner and a movie, then she said she wanted to stay over and tomorrow she wanted me to load the Gazelle into the car - not an animal - remember Tony Little on those TV commercials - "you can do it!"? LOL. Anyway, on the way to movie theater she decided we should go to closer restaurant and skip the movie. Then after we got back and watched SNL and some other TV, she packed up her laundry and headed back.
She was in a fine mood at the house, but at the restaurant everything was something to complain about. To be fair, it was freezing in there (as is often the case in restaurants for some reason. Is the thermostat under control of the kitchen staff?).
On the upside, she did ask me if I want to go out for a Thanksgiving dinner. So that's one holiday taken care of. Didn't mention my upcoming B-day, though.
As always, she seemed to come up with some reason to tell a funny story about infidelity (is there something Freudian going on there...?). She was telling me about this comedian she watched on Netflix (Bill Burr). So, we watched it when we got back to the house. It was funny, but I squirmed a bit when he was joking about when you work hard to buy a house, then come home and W if banging the neighbor, and then she takes the house.... geez. Could have done without that bit. Awkward....
She was in a fine mood at the house, but at the restaurant everything was something to complain about. To be fair, it was freezing in there (as is often the case in restaurants for some reason. Is the thermostat under control of the kitchen staff?).
On the upside, she did ask me if I want to go out for a Thanksgiving dinner. So that's one holiday taken care of. Didn't mention my upcoming B-day, though.
As always, she seemed to come up with some reason to tell a funny story about infidelity (is there something Freudian going on there...?).
She was telling me about this comedian she watched on Netflix (Bill Burr). So, we watched it when we got back to the house. It was funny, but I squirmed a bit when he was joking about when you work hard to buy a house, then come home and W if banging the neighbor, and then she takes the house.... geez. Could have done without that bit. Awkward....
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/27/13 06:04 AM
Oh, and still no dishes.
So, am I in MLC because I keep the house clean these days?
So, am I in MLC because I keep the house clean these days?
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/27/13 08:38 AM
You may be, lol. We'll start to worry when you bring out the hair dye lol
lol
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/27/13 03:10 PM
Originally Posted By: TryingToDo180
You may be, lol. We'll start to worry when you bring out the hair dye lol
lol And buy the Harley and get the tattoo or piercing - unless you've had those for years LOL.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/27/13 04:13 PM
lol NQ MH, are you going to join our little FB community? If you go to HWA's thread then it'll give you the instructions on there. Basically you set up a completely new account with a new email address and use you DB nickname followed by DB. It's great I set myself up on there last night
MH, are you going to join our little FB community? If you go to HWA's thread then it'll give you the instructions on there. Basically you set up a completely new account with a new email address and use you DB nickname followed by DB. It's great I set myself up on there last night
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/28/13 01:41 AM
Originally Posted By: MileHigh
As always, she seemed to come up with some reason to tell a funny story about infidelity (is there something Freudian going on there...?). She was telling me about this comedian she watched on Netflix (Bill Burr). So, we watched it when we got back to the house. It was funny, but I squirmed a bit when he was joking about when you work hard to buy a house, then come home and W if banging the neighbor, and then she takes the house.... geez. Could have done without that bit. Awkward....
She was telling me about this comedian she watched on Netflix (Bill Burr). So, we watched it when we got back to the house. It was funny, but I squirmed a bit when he was joking about when you work hard to buy a house, then come home and W if banging the neighbor, and then she takes the house.... geez. Could have done without that bit. Awkward.... Why do they have to do that? My H was, and still is from time to time, constantly telling me all about his buddy's marital problems and how his buddy's been having an affair for a couple of years now and the wife didn't know or suspect. Almost as though he's using the buddy's actions to justify his own
. Maybe in her mind it's her way of justifying her actions?
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/28/13 04:20 AM
I think it is to justify it. She's been doing it since the first time we went to dinner after we moved beyond the daily fighting stage.
She's here now, sleeping on the couch, of course. Came over to watch The Walking Dead and didn't want to drive back in the dark. And need I mention - no bloody dishes still! She's been supposedly unpacking them for 3 weeks at least.
It's after midnight and I am having my usual Sunday blahs x 1000. It's post-vacation reality time. Ugh. I peeked at my work email and have almost 200. That should eat up a lot of tomorrow. Too bad many of them will lead directly to tasks for me.
I'm pondering the FB thing, but being a computer nerd from wayback, I already have several email addresses to manage, not to mention all the other social network sites and hundreds of feeds I follow. I'm already online too much for my own good. But I'm thinking about it. Could be fun.
She's here now, sleeping on the couch, of course.
Came over to watch The Walking Dead and didn't want to drive back in the dark. And need I mention - no bloody dishes still! She's been supposedly unpacking them for 3 weeks at least. It's after midnight and I am having my usual Sunday blahs x 1000. It's post-vacation reality time. Ugh. I peeked at my work email and have almost 200. That should eat up a lot of tomorrow. Too bad many of them will lead directly to tasks for me.
I'm pondering the FB thing, but being a computer nerd from wayback, I already have several email addresses to manage, not to mention all the other social network sites and hundreds of feeds I follow. I'm already online too much for my own good. But I'm thinking about it. Could be fun.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/28/13 07:55 AM
It is fun MH There's a few of us on there now, it's like our own little FB group As 2old put it DB on FB lol
There's a few of us on there now, it's like our own little FB group As 2old put it DB on FB lol
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/28/13 01:18 PM
Originally Posted By: TryingToDo180
It is fun MH There's a few of us on there now, it's like our own little FB group As 2old put it DB on FB lol
There's a few of us on there now, it's like our own little FB group As 2old put it DB on FB lol I agree with TTD. You should join us. It's nice being able to put a face to the name as well.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/28/13 06:50 PM
Holy crap DMR, 200 work-related emails? That would totally discourage me from going back to work! I have about 10 voice messages on my phone (I'd have to kill myself if I had 200 ) and am studiously ignoring them. Which just compounds the problem of course, but I cannot bear to listen to 10 voice mails!
My H is also a great one for telling me stories about infidelity - both movies, jokes and people he knows who are unfaithful, and also about people he knows who seem to be going thru MLC! He does not seem to correlate his behavior and theirs at all though. I wonder if this is a MLC trait? NQ's theory that it might be a way of justifying their actions is interesting. It seems so strange that my H is VERY judgmental about other people's actions but just can't see he's doing the same thing!
Another strange thing is that H is dead set against amnesty for the illegal aliens. If I were in love with a foreigner who cannot get a green card, I would advise him to visit, then over stay his visa. And before long, he will be legal. The fact that H is not advising RT to do this gives me great hope.
So, what is up with W sleeping on your couch? Did you use it as an excuse for sneaking in some casual touching? Maybe sitting on the edge of the couch and touching her arm to ask if she wants some coffee or something?
) and am studiously ignoring them. Which just compounds the problem of course, but I cannot bear to listen to 10 voice mails!My H is also a great one for telling me stories about infidelity - both movies, jokes and people he knows who are unfaithful, and also about people he knows who seem to be going thru MLC! He does not seem to correlate his behavior and theirs at all though. I wonder if this is a MLC trait? NQ's theory that it might be a way of justifying their actions is interesting. It seems so strange that my H is VERY judgmental about other people's actions but just can't see he's doing the same thing!
Another strange thing is that H is dead set against amnesty for the illegal aliens. If I were in love with a foreigner who cannot get a green card, I would advise him to visit, then over stay his visa. And before long, he will be legal. The fact that H is not advising RT to do this gives me great hope.
So, what is up with W sleeping on your couch? Did you use it as an excuse for sneaking in some casual touching? Maybe sitting on the edge of the couch and touching her arm to ask if she wants some coffee or something?
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/28/13 07:47 PM
My W is the same way, RL. She's always been very judgmental and critical of cheating. She's got a very black and white view of most things legal and moral. Except for when it affects her, it seems.
W hates driving after dark, or in rain, or especially snow. So, pretty much at all.... So she comes over, then doesn't want to drive home late. This is the second sleepover.
I so far have failed in that approach, but I'm keeping it in mind. I haven't been shot down, just haven't managed to give it a try yet.
W hates driving after dark, or in rain, or especially snow. So, pretty much at all....
So she comes over, then doesn't want to drive home late. This is the second sleepover. I so far have failed in that approach, but I'm keeping it in mind. I haven't been shot down, just haven't managed to give it a try yet.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 10/28/13 09:06 PM
RL, I've sent you a message on FB. Please could you open a separate account so that your friends and family don't see us or what we've been writing.We're trying to keep it as private as possible, I hope you understand Thank you soooooo much
Thank you soooooo much
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/01/13 07:31 PM
I spent all night out in that darn pumpkin path, and no Great Pumpkin! Last time, I swear!
Not much new with my sitch. I wasn't feeling well, and W checked in on me several times and made sure to ask about my blood sugar.
She has mentioned Thanksgiving (although I wonder how she'd feel if I managed to go visit my family. I suppose I can do it around the holidays but not on Thanksgiving). Anyway, the next event is my birthday in a couple weeks. Although, I might be glad if we could all just forget that. They seem to be accumulating at an alarming frequency. Every year, there's another one! Every year, it seems to be here sooner!
Not much new with my sitch. I wasn't feeling well, and W checked in on me several times and made sure to ask about my blood sugar.
She has mentioned Thanksgiving (although I wonder how she'd feel if I managed to go visit my family. I suppose I can do it around the holidays but not on Thanksgiving). Anyway, the next event is my birthday in a couple weeks. Although, I might be glad if we could all just forget that. They seem to be accumulating at an alarming frequency. Every year, there's another one! Every year, it seems to be here sooner!
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/01/13 07:38 PM
Originally Posted By: MileHigh
I spent all night out in that darn pumpkin path, and no Great Pumpkin! Last time, I swear!
Wrong pumpkin patch???
Originally Posted By: MileHigh
Not much new with my sitch. I wasn't feeling well, and W checked in on me several times and made sure to ask about my blood sugar.
Another positive
Originally Posted By: MileHigh
Anyway, the next event is my birthday in a couple weeks. Although, I might be glad if we could all just forget that. They seem to be accumulating at an alarming frequency. Every year, there's another one! Every year, it seems to be here sooner!
You’re only as old as you feel MH. Or, age is only a number
.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/01/13 07:40 PM
And we've missed you MH. I was thinking of sending an "everything okay?" post.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/01/13 07:47 PM
Yeah, where've you been MH? Catching up with your work I bet Sitting in pumpkin patches in the middle of the night won't do anything for your health, no wonder you've not been feeling well.
I see you've still got a good friendship with your W, that's good I'm getting jealous of you and NQ at the mo. My H is still stuck with the "being nice because he wants the house".
Sitting in pumpkin patches in the middle of the night won't do anything for your health, no wonder you've not been feeling well.I see you've still got a good friendship with your W, that's good
I'm getting jealous of you and NQ at the mo. My H is still stuck with the "being nice because he wants the house".
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/02/13 07:40 AM
On the GAL front (we now around here that means organizing stuff, moving stuff, etc. right?) I managed to get some blankets out of the storage room and washed. I did overstuff the washer and caused a sleeping back to bunch up a bit because it wasn't supposed to go into the dryer. Oops. It, and a large blanket are draped over a shelf in the front room.
Which brings me to shelves. I have a very large front room that I don't use for much, as it only has a wood stove. It has a storage room off of it that I like to call the cold storage room. That's were all the holiday stuff, moving boxes (that have survived so many moves they're in tatters and mostly made of tape!) and that kind of stuff is stored (or abandoned). In reality the big room is nothing but storage and an entryway/mud room. I am going through all that crap now like I did the office closet. Lord, help me now.
I managed to empty 3 shelving units (lightweight plastic, easy to move around) that I'm going to move into the back room where I parked all W's stuff that she doesn't seem keen to move. I'm trying to migrate all her stuff onto shelves out there, so it's out of my way, and get all electronic/cables/gear/whatnot into the office. All my tools would ideally make it into the garage or the front of the front room where they're handy.
At the rate I'm going, much of this may make it's way onto my new year's resolution list, along with getting back on track for sleeping/meditating/exercising...
I have seen the enemy, and he is me (to paraphrase the great Pogo).
I managed to get some blankets out of the storage room and washed. I did overstuff the washer and caused a sleeping back to bunch up a bit because it wasn't supposed to go into the dryer. Oops. It, and a large blanket are draped over a shelf in the front room.Which brings me to shelves. I have a very large front room that I don't use for much, as it only has a wood stove. It has a storage room off of it that I like to call the cold storage room. That's were all the holiday stuff, moving boxes (that have survived so many moves they're in tatters and mostly made of tape!) and that kind of stuff is stored (or abandoned).
In reality the big room is nothing but storage and an entryway/mud room. I am going through all that crap now like I did the office closet. Lord, help me now.I managed to empty 3 shelving units (lightweight plastic, easy to move around) that I'm going to move into the back room where I parked all W's stuff that she doesn't seem keen to move. I'm trying to migrate all her stuff onto shelves out there, so it's out of my way, and get all electronic/cables/gear/whatnot into the office. All my tools would ideally make it into the garage or the front of the front room where they're handy.
At the rate I'm going, much of this may make it's way onto my new year's resolution list, along with getting back on track for sleeping/meditating/exercising...
I have seen the enemy, and he is me (to paraphrase the great Pogo).
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/02/13 08:40 AM
Once again MH, you've managed to put me to shame but at the same time motivating me to get something done. All I've managed to do this week is a bit of ironing, lol. Btw, when my support worker came round on Thursday, she said she doesn't know why H is complaining about the state of the house as it seems alright to her
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/02/13 09:03 AM
That's good about the house. At least she'll back you up. He must really be nitpicking.
If only I'd finish something! I did break down and call a plumber so that job will at least get done. I may not get to raking up the leaves until Spring (sorry lawn) and I was so sad not to get the garage siding/trim/paint done... but, at least I'll be able to run the dishwasher and have the kitchen sink drain all winter.
I can't believe that I forgot I'm starting my 2nd week of vacation. I had a week off (plus a couple extra days) a week on, then another week off (don't ask - I have to schedule around on-call and other people's vacations). Sadly, I noticed this when I was working in the wee hrs on a Sat morning trying to tie up some loose ends on a problem that cropped up when I was away, and trying to get my time recording done. I had a nap this afternoon.... still not on a good sleep schedule (hence this 5 am post). Anyway, now I have to scramble to get an estimate done and send notifications, set my out of office reminder in email, etc. etc. So much work to take time off work.
If only I'd finish something! I did break down and call a plumber so that job will at least get done. I may not get to raking up the leaves until Spring (sorry lawn)
and I was so sad not to get the garage siding/trim/paint done... but, at least I'll be able to run the dishwasher and have the kitchen sink drain all winter. I can't believe that I forgot I'm starting my 2nd week of vacation. I had a week off (plus a couple extra days) a week on, then another week off (don't ask - I have to schedule around on-call and other people's vacations). Sadly, I noticed this when I was working in the wee hrs on a Sat morning trying to tie up some loose ends on a problem that cropped up when I was away, and trying to get my time recording done. I had a nap this afternoon.... still not on a good sleep schedule (hence this 5 am post). Anyway, now I have to scramble to get an estimate done and send notifications, set my out of office reminder in email, etc. etc. So much work to take time off work.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/02/13 04:42 PM
Hey DMR, doesn't the handyman do plumbing? ONLY KIDDING
Sorry, that was mean. But here we all were feeling sorry for you for having to get back into the work grind with the rest of us, and you have the nerve to say you are back on vacation again? I know what you mean about it being a lot of work to get things set so that you can take time off from work, and then....it'll all be piled up waiting for you once you have returned. Sigh....
Are you feeling better? What was your blood sugar this morning? How nice that W was worried about you! Did she drop by at all to bring you supplies? Have you made any progress on finding a new car? My H says he wants to sell both of our cars, and buy one newer vehicle we can both share, as he is usually feeling too sick to drive much. Does that sound like someone planning to leave his wife and go live with a Russian Tramp to you? I cannot decide. Maybe he'd feel better deserting me if he knew I had a reliable car? Bleech, insecurity.
Sorry, that was mean. But here we all were feeling sorry for you for having to get back into the work grind with the rest of us, and you have the nerve to say you are back on vacation again? I know what you mean about it being a lot of work to get things set so that you can take time off from work, and then....it'll all be piled up waiting for you once you have returned. Sigh....
Are you feeling better? What was your blood sugar this morning? How nice that W was worried about you! Did she drop by at all to bring you supplies? Have you made any progress on finding a new car? My H says he wants to sell both of our cars, and buy one newer vehicle we can both share, as he is usually feeling too sick to drive much. Does that sound like someone planning to leave his wife and go live with a Russian Tramp to you? I cannot decide. Maybe he'd feel better deserting me if he knew I had a reliable car? Bleech, insecurity.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/02/13 04:57 PM
Originally Posted By: MileHigh
I can't believe that I forgot I'm starting my 2nd week of vacation. I had a week off (plus a couple extra days) a week on, then another week off (don't ask - I have to schedule around on-call and other people's vacations). Sadly, I noticed this when I was working in the wee hrs on a Sat morning trying to tie up some loose ends on a problem that cropped up when I was away, and trying to get my time recording done. I had a nap this afternoon.... still not on a good sleep schedule (hence this 5 am post). Anyway, now I have to scramble to get an estimate done and send notifications, set my out of office reminder in email, etc. etc. So much work to take time off work.
I'm trying to figure out how someone can forget they have a week's vacation - not like a week off is important now LOL
. Your blood sugar must really be out of whack to forget something like that. And slow down on the decluttering - unless you're just trying to get it finished so that you can come and do some of ours for us LOL
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/02/13 05:32 PM
lol NQ, that's what he must be doing Hurry up the MH and then you can come and do ours Enjoy your vacation, but don't forget to have some FUN as well as decluttering, lol
Hurry up the MH and then you can come and do ours Enjoy your vacation, but don't forget to have some FUN as well as decluttering, lol
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/02/13 08:20 PM
Lol. You are all a riot. Cheered me right up. Linda is pushing it though. And to think, I didn't even joke about the dating site I saw on a commercial that turned out to be exclusively for finding Russian Tramps! OK, RL, we're even. All in good fun!
Isn't that nuts about the car? They really can act like they want it both ways. It must be weird for them, living on the edge, unable to jump either way.
Blood sugar good, but I had another bought of exhaustion. Need to get off my butt and on my feet! I really wanted to take up hiking, since I love to walk, and it's low-impact. But now it'll have to be snow shoes or cross country skis. I can hike the mall, but they have too many goodies!
Yep, I need to get this place ship shape so I can sell it and get the downtown apt and be the urban hipster I've been playing on Tuesday nights. (Can I be a hipster at my age?!)
Then I'll kick off the multi-country dejunking tour. Let's see... long Island, Ontario, UK. Was Pud signed up? Not sure HWA needs my help, but I'd be willing to discuss shrimp(s) vs prawns and strange Australian creatures over some pints of Fosters.
And to think, I didn't even joke about the dating site I saw on a commercial that turned out to be exclusively for finding Russian Tramps! OK, RL, we're even. All in good fun! Isn't that nuts about the car? They really can act like they want it both ways. It must be weird for them, living on the edge, unable to jump either way.
Blood sugar good, but I had another bought of exhaustion. Need to get off my butt and on my feet! I really wanted to take up hiking, since I love to walk, and it's low-impact. But now it'll have to be snow shoes or cross country skis.
I can hike the mall, but they have too many goodies! Yep, I need to get this place ship shape so I can sell it and get the downtown apt and be the urban hipster I've been playing on Tuesday nights. (Can I be a hipster at my age?!)
Then I'll kick off the multi-country dejunking tour. Let's see... long Island, Ontario, UK. Was Pud signed up? Not sure HWA needs my help, but I'd be willing to discuss shrimp(s) vs prawns and strange Australian creatures over some pints of Fosters.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/02/13 08:32 PM
DMR, I saw that commercial too. anastasia, right? sexy man's voice saying he never felt closer to anyone as this slutty looking woman who lives over 3,000 miles away and wants a green card? yes, that's the one I was going to say RT calls me anastasia, but no, it's svetlana. Russian slang for c-ck teasing bitch. Nice huh?
You shouldn't be feeling exhausted DMR. Have you seen your doctor lately? And I don't know how old you are, but am sure you are not older than I and I'm a hipster! Very big hips in fact. Oh isn't that what you meant?
I was going to say RT calls me anastasia, but no, it's svetlana. Russian slang for c-ck teasing bitch. Nice huh? You shouldn't be feeling exhausted DMR. Have you seen your doctor lately? And I don't know how old you are, but am sure you are not older than I and I'm a hipster! Very big hips in fact. Oh isn't that what you meant?
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/02/13 09:31 PM
Originally Posted By: RosaLinda
You shouldn't be feeling exhausted DMR. Have you seen your doctor lately? And I don't know how old you are, but am sure you are not older than I and I'm a hipster! Very big hips in fact. Oh isn't that what you meant?
Hopefully it's just because our MH is doing way too much decluttering, and not enough sleeping. Not to mention sitting in the pumpkin patch all night waiting for the Great Pumpkin
and posting at 5am - that's gonna catch up with you at any age.I'm a big hipster as well RL - you're not alone in that one
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/02/13 10:14 PM
I agree with NQ here MH catch up with your sleep, you've got a lot of places to visit and a lot of decluttering to do, lol. I like to think I'm a bit of a hipster as well, though over here that's a bit like something an oldie would say I've also got a big bottom as well as big hips, lol.
MH catch up with your sleep, you've got a lot of places to visit and a lot of decluttering to do, lol. I like to think I'm a bit of a hipster as well, though over here that's a bit like something an oldie would say I've also got a big bottom as well as big hips, lol.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/03/13 06:20 PM
First off - the dishes are here!
The principle of Nike - Just Do It - worked well for me today. I was so sick of eating off of disposable dishes, I got a plate out of the box, and ended up not stopping until I had completed the great shelf project. All of the stuff W left here is now on shelves in the back room! And I put down the rugs that were rolled up. I even swept the floor and vacuumed the rugs! That includes the dirt I swept under the entryway rug in the front room weeks ago when W was coming over after having said I wasn't keeping the place clean.
There's a lot of emotions associated with stuff. First of all was the sadness/anger over having to unpack stuff that was packed up to go to our new home, together. Then there's stuff that it kind of makes me angry to see that she rejected, and brought back here, or left behind in the first place. Of course, that works both ways. I got to take those things that I never liked and either shelve them, or slip them in with stuff she was taking over to the house.
Other stuff I'm glad she left, like the mementos and ashes of our beloved "poor sick kitty" who made it 17 yrs with tender loving care through a heart condition most cats don't survive for more than a few years.
The Silverware Incident: here's a funny little tale. We had two sets of dishes (there's a funny story behind that, too, but one at a time here.... I'm easily distracted). ;-) So, anyway, those dishes - I figured she could bring me one set and keep the other, which she promptly did after 3 wks or so... But I figured there's no need to split up a matching set of silverware. I decided to just grab a handful from the thrift store to use for the duration. Yesterday, on our usual Saturday date/get together/whatever we went to the Goodwill store. She saw me going through the silverware and sidled up to me and said she could find the silverware at the house soon. I said it was no big deal and that I didn't want to split up the set. She seemed slightly upset about it. I'm wondering if that was an "act of service" kind of thing for her to find and bring over some silverware.
The principle of Nike - Just Do It - worked well for me today. I was so sick of eating off of disposable dishes, I got a plate out of the box, and ended up not stopping until I had completed the great shelf project. All of the stuff W left here is now on shelves in the back room! And I put down the rugs that were rolled up. I even swept the floor and vacuumed the rugs! That includes the dirt I swept under the entryway rug in the front room weeks ago when W was coming over after having said I wasn't keeping the place clean.
There's a lot of emotions associated with stuff. First of all was the sadness/anger over having to unpack stuff that was packed up to go to our new home, together. Then there's stuff that it kind of makes me angry to see that she rejected, and brought back here, or left behind in the first place. Of course, that works both ways. I got to take those things that I never liked and either shelve them, or slip them in with stuff she was taking over to the house.
Other stuff I'm glad she left, like the mementos and ashes of our beloved "poor sick kitty" who made it 17 yrs with tender loving care through a heart condition most cats don't survive for more than a few years.
The Silverware Incident: here's a funny little tale. We had two sets of dishes (there's a funny story behind that, too, but one at a time here.... I'm easily distracted). ;-) So, anyway, those dishes - I figured she could bring me one set and keep the other, which she promptly did after 3 wks or so...
But I figured there's no need to split up a matching set of silverware. I decided to just grab a handful from the thrift store to use for the duration. Yesterday, on our usual Saturday date/get together/whatever we went to the Goodwill store. She saw me going through the silverware and sidled up to me and said she could find the silverware at the house soon. I said it was no big deal and that I didn't want to split up the set. She seemed slightly upset about it. I'm wondering if that was an "act of service" kind of thing for her to find and bring over some silverware.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/03/13 09:28 PM
I take it you've been reading the love languages There's a book that you've probably heard of and I think it's suitable for you at this moment in time. It's called "love dares" and every day you get a different love dare. I was reading a testimonial of a couple who recently got back together and she'd been reading that.
It's hard not to get emotional over stuff that belongs to both of you. I decided today to do some sewing, but I can't find my sewing kit I would say I decluttered under the stairs cupboard, but I just shoved it all back in I did find H's art stuff in there that he shoved in, so there's another bag for H to collect next time he's round
Anyway well done for your continued decluttering So your W moans that you're not cleaning the house properly as well, does she? lol they are funny these WAS's
There's a book that you've probably heard of and I think it's suitable for you at this moment in time. It's called "love dares" and every day you get a different love dare. I was reading a testimonial of a couple who recently got back together and she'd been reading that.It's hard not to get emotional over stuff that belongs to both of you. I decided today to do some sewing, but I can't find my sewing kit
I would say I decluttered under the stairs cupboard, but I just shoved it all back in I did find H's art stuff in there that he shoved in, so there's another bag for H to collect next time he's round Anyway well done for your continued decluttering
So your W moans that you're not cleaning the house properly as well, does she? lol they are funny these WAS's
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/03/13 09:34 PM
Well, you know TTD, you've been warned about your sloppy housekeeping. LOL. Please don't hurt me.
And you should see how W keeps house!
Forgot to mention, today's craziness really started when I went out to check the mail (from yesterday) and decided to rake my giant leaf piles away from the front of the wood sheds because I probably won't get around to hauling them to the compost heap until Spring. And I'm not even worried about it. The lawn has survived much worse.
And you should see how W keeps house!
Forgot to mention, today's craziness really started when I went out to check the mail (from yesterday) and decided to rake my giant leaf piles away from the front of the wood sheds because I probably won't get around to hauling them to the compost heap until Spring. And I'm not even worried about it. The lawn has survived much worse.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/03/13 09:42 PM
I can't express how good it feels having all that stuff up on shelves, out of site and out of my way. It's very good for my PMA.
I lived for too long surrounded by boxes packed for a move that didn't happen.
Now, to tackle the junk in the front room.... ugh.
I lived for too long surrounded by boxes packed for a move that didn't happen.
Now, to tackle the junk in the front room.... ugh.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/03/13 11:04 PM
I've still got bags of books in the living room that came from the large bookcase that I've still not got rid of. I've found another unit online which has shelves and a cupboard as well Like you I can't wait to get the living room sorted out
Like you I can't wait to get the living room sorted out
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/04/13 02:20 AM
Geez, now you're both putting me to shame. I've still not done any decluttering. Even my dad has slowed down on that front - he's switched to repairs and maintenance.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/04/13 03:37 AM
I had to wind it down tonight. The weekend-W is over, and it's going to be another no-contact sleepover night. At least the cat gets some affection.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/04/13 11:17 PM
And she's coming over to stay tonight, too. Walking dead was set up to record a later showing, so we didn't get to watch last night. Thanks to the roaming undead, we get more quality time tonight. LOL
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/04/13 11:29 PM
lol MH Hope you have a nice night Have you thought of getting her a bit tipsy? lol. Only kidding
Hope you have a nice night Have you thought of getting her a bit tipsy? lol. Only kidding
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/04/13 11:46 PM
Originally Posted By: TryingToDo180
Have you thought of getting her a bit tipsy? lol. Only kidding
Just think of that drunken taxi lady :OL
And you weren't the one who got that one tipsy .Just kidding
.Enjoy your evening.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/05/13 03:50 AM
I did by a six-pack of her preferred beer. Saving that for a weekend.
BTW, did I say the dishes were brought over? What I meant was the plates and an odd assortment of cups and glasses. The bowls have yet to make an appearance. Good thing I have 4 that are meant for microwave cooking, but can double for soup or cereal.
BTW, did I say the dishes were brought over? What I meant was the plates and an odd assortment of cups and glasses.
The bowls have yet to make an appearance. Good thing I have 4 that are meant for microwave cooking, but can double for soup or cereal.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/05/13 04:03 PM
So at least you can eat now LOL
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/05/13 08:31 PM
Baby steps, right!
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/05/13 08:42 PM
Originally Posted By: MileHigh
Baby steps, right!
Right!
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/08/13 02:42 AM
W stayed over after we went to see a movie yesterday. I didn't feel like spending the night in my office on the computer so I suggested she go to sleep in the bedroom since I'm on my vacation schedule - same night-owl as when working, but I don't feel guilty about it. So that led to a back-ache. Ugh. That will teach me to be nice.
So, W was in argumentative mode. But... we had a rousing argument about historical events and stuff that took up half the drive into town. The cool thing is it was all in good fun. It started with just how much of an a**hole Christopher Columbus was (given the ethics of his time and culture VS applying those of our time) and ended with whether or not Napoleon was really even short (for his time and by comparison to his contemporaries). Yeah, we do stuff like that.
Oh, TTD and NQ, you could have had some input because we also wandered over the topics of that pesky little Colonial insurrection from the 1700s and then the War of 1812.
On the upside, based on what I saw in the bathroom trash can, I understand why she was in a mood. (sorry ladies)
So that led to a back-ache. Ugh. That will teach me to be nice. So, W was in argumentative mode. But... we had a rousing argument about historical events and stuff that took up half the drive into town. The cool thing is it was all in good fun. It started with just how much of an a**hole Christopher Columbus was (given the ethics of his time and culture VS applying those of our time) and ended with whether or not Napoleon was really even short (for his time and by comparison to his contemporaries). Yeah, we do stuff like that.
Oh, TTD and NQ, you could have had some input because we also wandered over the topics of that pesky little Colonial insurrection from the 1700s and then the War of 1812.
On the upside, based on what I saw in the bathroom trash can, I understand why she was in a mood.
(sorry ladies)
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/08/13 02:52 AM
Originally Posted By: MileHigh
Oh, TTD and NQ, you could have had some input because we also wandered over the topics of that pesky little Colonial insurrection from the 1700s and then the War of 1812.
Canada 1, US 0 - after all we did burn down the White House LOL - and on a technicality Canada was still British then so it was actually revenge for that pesky insurrection and the waste of tea
.This just brings back memories (not necessarily good either) of elementary and high school history - all we studied was Canadian history. We've only got about 200 years of history so it kinda got boring after a grade or two
. Although I couldn't have been that bored - my university degree is history major, even though I took everything but Canadian history then.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/08/13 09:01 AM
I wouldn't have been able to give you much input as I'm rubbish at history, lol. The only name that rings any bells in your above post is Christopher Columbus.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/08/13 09:25 AM
Go Canada. LOL. I mentioned the same thing about the White House, and that Canadians are pretty eager to point out that the fledgling US didn't succeed at grabbing any Canadian territory - the idea won't get much traction here because we've been raised since at least WWII to put our fingers in our ears and shout "we're #1" until a problem goes away. At least we did ok in that Battle of New Orleans (sadly after the treaty to end the war was signed). The internet was down.
After googling Napoleon's height, she chose Admiral Nelson to look up for comparison. I think we decided to eat before we got to checking on Wellington.
My W is no slouch about history - she was a political science major, and took a lot of history electives. But, we like to argue enough that we've probably argued both sides of everything at least once.
So, enough history and politics. I'm just glad we managed to keep it to a friendly, though rambling debate, and nobody got upset.
After googling Napoleon's height, she chose Admiral Nelson to look up for comparison. I think we decided to eat before we got to checking on Wellington.
My W is no slouch about history - she was a political science major, and took a lot of history electives. But, we like to argue enough that we've probably argued both sides of everything at least once.
So, enough history and politics. I'm just glad we managed to keep it to a friendly, though rambling debate, and nobody got upset.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/09/13 02:35 AM
My birthday was remembered.
W asked if I want to go to dinner on Wed after my dental appt even tho it'll be a day early. It may depend on how they treat me at that dentist visit!
W asked if I want to go to dinner on Wed after my dental appt even tho it'll be a day early. It may depend on how they treat me at that dentist visit!
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/09/13 03:02 AM
That's a real big positive.
And Happy Birthday for Thursday .
And Happy Birthday for Thursday
.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/09/13 09:26 AM
That's good news Good luck at the dentist and a Happy Birthday for Thursday I'll make you a virtual cake lol
Good luck at the dentist and a Happy Birthday for Thursday I'll make you a virtual cake lol
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/09/13 11:12 PM
OK on the cake, but we'll just skip the candles....
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/09/13 11:21 PM
good idea, lol. Of course it'll have to be a diabetic cake as well, we won't want you to be virtually ill
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/10/13 12:47 AM
Originally Posted By: MileHigh
OK on the cake, but we'll just skip the candles....
You're not worried about revealing your age, are you now MH??? That's a female thing isn't? LOL
I've got a candle in the shape of a question mark - how's about we use that one?
And some of those diabetic friendly cakes are pretty tasty.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/10/13 06:57 AM
I'm trying to forget my age!
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/10/13 09:32 AM
I like the idea of a question mark candle, I must keep an eye out for those ones
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/10/13 10:30 AM
Are you seeing any difference in W, DMR? From the outside looking in, she seems to be moving towards you very very slowly. Any luck with casual touch? My H was playing all my favotite songs on the piano yesterday and I felt so sentimental and longed to ravish him a la Privet - that beautiful painting of a violinist taking a piano playing woman in his arms for a passionate kiss. But I refrained LOL and settled for laying my hand on his back. Lovingly. He did not acknowledge it at all but didn't flinch away either. Last time I touched him he almost injured himself fslling off the stoop, he jerked away so hard. Pathetic that something so small means so much to me. Pathetic
You don't seem to have any of the more evil Scorpio traits DMR.
You don't seem to have any of the more evil Scorpio traits DMR.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/10/13 12:36 PM
Linda, It's not pathetic. Those little things are very important, and touch is such a wonderful and powerful means of communication. I'm still too gun shy.... I was just pondering if I could work in a hug for my B-day.
I've got my Scorpio traits reigned in a bit with all the meditation and DBing. Funny you mention astrological signs. My W has mentioned them several times, starting with right after BD. Not sure if she's looking for validation or something.... Then again, I don't think being a WAW is necesarrily a Cancer trait.
She does seem to be moving in the right direction. She stayed over again tonight after our dinner/movie date. She hasn't been taking the kitty over to other house any more - which gives her more opportunities to come over here to see him. That and to watch all the shows I record that we always watch together. She also stopped showing any interest in taking any of her remaining things over there.
I've got my Scorpio traits reigned in a bit with all the meditation and DBing.
Funny you mention astrological signs. My W has mentioned them several times, starting with right after BD. Not sure if she's looking for validation or something.... Then again, I don't think being a WAW is necesarrily a Cancer trait. She does seem to be moving in the right direction. She stayed over again tonight after our dinner/movie date. She hasn't been taking the kitty over to other house any more - which gives her more opportunities to come over here to see him. That and to watch all the shows I record that we always watch together. She also stopped showing any interest in taking any of her remaining things over there.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/10/13 01:01 PM
Originally Posted By: MileHigh
I'm trying to forget my age!
Surely you still a kid a heart!
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/10/13 01:02 PM
Originally Posted By: MileHigh
She does seem to be moving in the right direction. She stayed over again tonight after our dinner/movie date. She hasn't been taking the kitty over to other house any more - which gives her more opportunities to come over here to see him. That and to watch all the shows I record that we always watch together. She also stopped showing any interest in taking any of her remaining things over there.
You're obviously doing something right
. Keep it up.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/10/13 04:53 PM
I agree with NQ She seems to be moving in the right direction, keep it up
She seems to be moving in the right direction, keep it up
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/12/13 12:00 AM
Another Walking Dead viewing / sleepover last night. I did sleep on the couch (of course she went to bed much earlier than I ever do since she has to get up and commute and I just have to stumble into my office). Got a good idea from RL - I should mention the couch really made my back hurt and see if it leads to an invite to the bedroom. Could just lead to offer to swap places....
She had a bit of laundry to do and I had my basket sitting by the machine, ready to go. She surprised me by asking if I wanted some of it washed with her small load. She also asked if I need anything from grocery store, as she's coming over tomorrow so I can use the car to go to my dentist appt.
She also had yet another one of those weird tales about other peoples strange marriages - the city where she's from seems to have a lot of married people with girlfriends/boyfriends on the side, and a surprising number of them know about it. She was surprised, give it's a fairly conservative small city. Anyway, just another of several of these stories. Justification maybe?
She had a bit of laundry to do and I had my basket sitting by the machine, ready to go. She surprised me by asking if I wanted some of it washed with her small load. She also asked if I need anything from grocery store, as she's coming over tomorrow so I can use the car to go to my dentist appt.
She also had yet another one of those weird tales about other peoples strange marriages - the city where she's from seems to have a lot of married people with girlfriends/boyfriends on the side, and a surprising number of them know about it. She was surprised, give it's a fairly conservative small city. Anyway, just another of several of these stories. Justification maybe?
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/12/13 12:05 AM
Originally Posted By: MileHigh
Another Walking Dead viewing / sleepover last night. I did sleep on the couch (of course she went to bed much earlier than I ever do since she has to get up and commute and I just have to stumble into my office). Got a good idea from RL - I should mention the couch really made my back hurt and see if it leads to an invite to the bedroom. Could just lead to offer to swap places....
Would it hurt to try?
Originally Posted By: MileHigh
She had a bit of laundry to do and I had my basket sitting by the machine, ready to go. She surprised me by asking if I wanted some of it washed with her small load. She also asked if I need anything from grocery store, as she's coming over tomorrow so I can use the car to go to my dentist appt.
More positives – keep it up MH
Originally Posted By: MileHigh
She also had yet another one of those weird tales about other peoples strange marriages - the city where she's from seems to have a lot of married people with girlfriends/boyfriends on the side, and a surprising number of them know about it. She was surprised, give it's a fairly conservative small city. Anyway, just another of several of these stories. Justification maybe?
Maybe, who knows what’s going on in her head
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/12/13 09:17 AM
All sounds positive stuff MH I agree with NQ on the couch/bed swapping
I agree with NQ on the couch/bed swapping
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/12/13 05:05 PM
Chatting via Skype (during work hrs, LOL) and text (after work) a lot these days, too. Mostly about trivial things, or what the cats are up to (annoying the heck out of me while I work!) and such.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/12/13 05:25 PM
That's good You'll be moving on to piecing soon, but don't forget us
You'll be moving on to piecing soon, but don't forget us
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/12/13 06:49 PM
He'd better not forget us LOL - we'd have to become stalkers
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/12/13 07:25 PM
yes lol. You can't get rid of us that easily MH
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/12/13 09:34 PM
Piecing. If we do get there, it's going to be a long haul, so I won't be going anywhere soon. Have to do much better than last time.
On the other hand, I wouldn't mind some more bachelor time. I'm enjoying the full control of the TV, the thermostat... oh, and there's only one bathroom in this house.
On the other hand, I wouldn't mind some more bachelor time. I'm enjoying the full control of the TV, the thermostat... oh, and there's only one bathroom in this house.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/12/13 09:36 PM
So she really is a weekend wife, lol
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/12/13 09:39 PM
[quote=MileHigh]On the other hand, I wouldn't mind some more bachelor time. I'm enjoying the full control of the TV, the thermostat... oh, and there's only one bathroom in this house. /quote]
Typical male - control of the TV LOL. We'd be in trouble in our house with only one bathroom - or at least the last 24 hours. Dad decided to replace the toilet in the downstairs loo and when he turned off the water and removed the toilet he found a decayed floor panel which meant he couldn't put the new one in until he got out to the hardware store today and bought some plywood. No water and only one toilet argggghhh .
/quote]Typical male - control of the TV LOL
. We'd be in trouble in our house with only one bathroom - or at least the last 24 hours. Dad decided to replace the toilet in the downstairs loo and when he turned off the water and removed the toilet he found a decayed floor panel which meant he couldn't put the new one in until he got out to the hardware store today and bought some plywood. No water and only one toilet argggghhh .
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/12/13 09:40 PM
More and more she's finding a reason to come over during the week, too. This week, it's my fault for needing the car. Then there's that birthday. It's now turned into a dentist appointment/birthday dinner/movie. All depending on how they treat me at the dentist. What a happy birthday. And all after work. Oh, and I start on-call tomorrow, too. Ugh.
Then there's that birthday. It's now turned into a dentist appointment/birthday dinner/movie. All depending on how they treat me at the dentist. What a happy birthday. And all after work. Oh, and I start on-call tomorrow, too. Ugh.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/12/13 10:01 PM
Sounds positive Maybe you'll just have to get a TV for another room and build another bathroom, lol.
Is it your b/d today? If so happy birthday I'm a few months older than you, so you've caught up with me now
Maybe you'll just have to get a TV for another room and build another bathroom, lol.Is it your b/d today? If so happy birthday
I'm a few months older than you, so you've caught up with me now
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/12/13 10:31 PM
It's on Thur, but we have to go out tomorrow, so going to have a birthday dinner then. Of course, what I WANT for my birthday will probably have to wait...
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/12/13 10:37 PM
I can guess what you want, typical male I guess you'll have to wait a while for that one Maybe you'll get it for Christmas
I guess you'll have to wait a while for that one Maybe you'll get it for Christmas
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/14/13 02:21 AM
Let me start with the good stuff. Dinner was nice, and I have a happy, purring cat on my lap.
But...
To start off with, I screwed up the dates for me dentist appointment. I should have known when they didn't do a reminder call - I think they always do that. It's not easy for my W to get off work and get over here, but given the reason for it all, I can't feel too darn bad.... I was so glad she waited in the car. I actually hovered around in the hallway of the building for 10 minutes, then told a white lie about them having a look and then me having to come back next week at the same time. I used the technique of not volunteering too much info (more on this later).
I'm so scatterbrained because work is like a death-march again and ramping up for worse. I feel completely exhausted again. Haven't been getting in any walking or biking since it got cold, and didn't do any yoga/kettlebell/rower stuff I can do inside at all. In fact, I fell asleep on the couch and got even further behind on work. Trying to decide if I should try to sleep for 10 hrs or load up on caffeine and try to get work done.
Back to the early birthday outing. W was as exhausted as I am so the movie never even came up (we always underestimate how tired we'll be when we make plans). Dinner was nice but as I started on-call today, I was worried about how far I'd gone from home, because I didn't plan for it with the secondary on-call victim.
After dinner, W waited in car while I got some groceries. I had some bottles/cans to feed into the return machines, then it took a long time to find stuff tonight - too tired to rush, and again, I don't like feeling like I have to rush to make things convenient for her. She texted me complaining it had been an hr and she wish she'd been dropped off first. To be fair I did say I was only going to grab a couple things. But a couple things expanded to half a cart (or is it a trolley, NQ and TTD?). She asked if I was almost done and I just texted back "yes." The irony is I was looking for some things she asked me to get for her when she texted.
As soon as I got back in the car, she asked why they didn't do anything too my tooth, and she thought I had to have a root canal, and why should I have to pay for that short appointment, and.... she asks these things in a rapid-fire kind of grumble, so I don't have to worry too much because I usually can't answer a question before the next one is blurted out (she does this during TV shows, too - great practice for my 180s!). I said something about them having to determine if I need a root canal and they needed to take x-rays and have specialist determine it. That's true in a sense - not even sure I need a crown, but experience tells me I will. Oh, the tangled web we weave, when we practice to deceive! But, I was too scared to just say I screwed up and made you ask for time off work to come early. To be fair, I had considered just finding a new dentist within the zone of affordability for the cab service, but she had volunteered to come over when I needed to get to doctor and dentists appointments.
W is parked in bed again, with the other cat and a book. Didn't get a chance, due to tiredness, crabbiness, work, etc. to mention how my back might suffer from another night on the couch... Sometimes I feel it would be less stressful to hit on a stranger than face rejection from WAW.
I'm slipping. I left this post up on computer, didn't lock the screen, and went out to get something from the car! Thanks to the FB activity, I almost typed her name twice, too, instead of the usual W. Not that it would really matter much.
So, not only did I not get that desired b-day gift I didn't even get a hug or mention of my birthday. Never mind a card or any other type of gift.
One other thing. I have been getting short, clipper cuts (buzz cut) on my hair for years. I like it, because my hair is thick, straight, has cowlicks and a mind of it's own (but it's all still there! ). She's made comments over the years about me doing something different. Well, I had the top scissor cut last time and it's longer than it's been in ages. I mentioned it to see if she's maybe say she likes it better, but all she did was grumble that I could go to a real stylist. I prefer an old fashioned barber shop or just one of the chain stores for a buzz cut - even they don't usually screw that up. I said I don't like having to make an appointment and paying three times as much. (Hard to work in the haircut with all the other things I usually do when I do get into town and there's nowhere near there that's open usually when I'm there.) She grumbled something - I think about it not costing three times as much. The old me would have picked up the argument gauntlet. The new me saw it as a battle I don't need to fight.
"Does this need to be said? Does it need to be said right now? Does it need to be said right now, by me?" Wise words indeed, Craig Ferguson.
But...
To start off with, I screwed up the dates for me dentist appointment. I should have known when they didn't do a reminder call - I think they always do that.
It's not easy for my W to get off work and get over here, but given the reason for it all, I can't feel too darn bad.... I was so glad she waited in the car. I actually hovered around in the hallway of the building for 10 minutes, then told a white lie about them having a look and then me having to come back next week at the same time. I used the technique of not volunteering too much info (more on this later).I'm so scatterbrained because work is like a death-march again and ramping up for worse. I feel completely exhausted again. Haven't been getting in any walking or biking since it got cold, and didn't do any yoga/kettlebell/rower stuff I can do inside at all. In fact, I fell asleep on the couch and got even further behind on work. Trying to decide if I should try to sleep for 10 hrs or load up on caffeine and try to get work done.
Back to the early birthday outing. W was as exhausted as I am so the movie never even came up (we always underestimate how tired we'll be when we make plans). Dinner was nice but as I started on-call today, I was worried about how far I'd gone from home, because I didn't plan for it with the secondary on-call victim.
After dinner, W waited in car while I got some groceries. I had some bottles/cans to feed into the return machines, then it took a long time to find stuff tonight - too tired to rush, and again, I don't like feeling like I have to rush to make things convenient for her. She texted me complaining it had been an hr and she wish she'd been dropped off first. To be fair I did say I was only going to grab a couple things. But a couple things expanded to half a cart (or is it a trolley, NQ and TTD?). She asked if I was almost done and I just texted back "yes." The irony is I was looking for some things she asked me to get for her when she texted.
As soon as I got back in the car, she asked why they didn't do anything too my tooth, and she thought I had to have a root canal, and why should I have to pay for that short appointment, and.... she asks these things in a rapid-fire kind of grumble, so I don't have to worry too much because I usually can't answer a question before the next one is blurted out (she does this during TV shows, too - great practice for my 180s!). I said something about them having to determine if I need a root canal and they needed to take x-rays and have specialist determine it. That's true in a sense - not even sure I need a crown, but experience tells me I will. Oh, the tangled web we weave, when we practice to deceive! But, I was too scared to just say I screwed up and made you ask for time off work to come early. To be fair, I had considered just finding a new dentist within the zone of affordability for the cab service, but she had volunteered to come over when I needed to get to doctor and dentists appointments.
W is parked in bed again, with the other cat and a book. Didn't get a chance, due to tiredness, crabbiness, work, etc. to mention how my back might suffer from another night on the couch... Sometimes I feel it would be less stressful to hit on a stranger than face rejection from WAW.
I'm slipping. I left this post up on computer, didn't lock the screen, and went out to get something from the car! Thanks to the FB activity, I almost typed her name twice, too, instead of the usual W. Not that it would really matter much.
So, not only did I not get that desired b-day gift
I didn't even get a hug or mention of my birthday. Never mind a card or any other type of gift. One other thing. I have been getting short, clipper cuts (buzz cut) on my hair for years. I like it, because my hair is thick, straight, has cowlicks and a mind of it's own (but it's all still there!
). She's made comments over the years about me doing something different. Well, I had the top scissor cut last time and it's longer than it's been in ages. I mentioned it to see if she's maybe say she likes it better, but all she did was grumble that I could go to a real stylist. I prefer an old fashioned barber shop or just one of the chain stores for a buzz cut - even they don't usually screw that up. I said I don't like having to make an appointment and paying three times as much. (Hard to work in the haircut with all the other things I usually do when I do get into town and there's nowhere near there that's open usually when I'm there.) She grumbled something - I think about it not costing three times as much. The old me would have picked up the argument gauntlet. The new me saw it as a battle I don't need to fight."Does this need to be said? Does it need to be said right now? Does it need to be said right now, by me?" Wise words indeed, Craig Ferguson.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/14/13 02:14 PM
I just found a birthday card W left for me on the table this morning. Haven't opened yet.... Also, she brought the rest of those dishes over, so I guess I'll stop my whining now.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/14/13 02:38 PM
Happy birthday! And yes, you'd better stop whining. She did remember
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/14/13 02:44 PM
Originally Posted By: MileHigh
To start off with, I screwed up the dates for me dentist appointment. I should have known when they didn't do a reminder call - I think they always do that. It's not easy for my W to get off work and get over here, but given the reason for it all, I can't feel too darn bad.... I was so glad she waited in the car. I actually hovered around in the hallway of the building for 10 minutes, then told a white lie about them having a look and then me having to come back next week at the same time. I used the technique of not volunteering too much info (more on this later).
It's not easy for my W to get off work and get over here, but given the reason for it all, I can't feel too darn bad.... I was so glad she waited in the car. I actually hovered around in the hallway of the building for 10 minutes, then told a white lie about them having a look and then me having to come back next week at the same time. I used the technique of not volunteering too much info (more on this later). Maybe you could offer to take her to work and pick her up next time so she doesn’t have to take the time off and so you can have the car for the day.
Originally Posted By: MileHigh
I'm so scatterbrained because work is like a death-march again and ramping up for worse. I feel completely exhausted again. Haven't been getting in any walking or biking since it got cold, and didn't do any yoga/kettlebell/rower stuff I can do inside at all. In fact, I fell asleep on the couch and got even further behind on work. Trying to decide if I should try to sleep for 10 hrs or load up on caffeine and try to get work done.
Being over-tired will do that to you. Sleep would be a good option LOL
. That caffeine crash can be nasty as well.Originally Posted By: MileHigh
Back to the early birthday outing. W was as exhausted as I am so the movie never even came up (we always underestimate how tired we'll be when we make plans). Dinner was nice but as I started on-call today, I was worried about how far I'd gone from home, because I didn't plan for it with the secondary on-call victim.
After dinner, W waited in car while I got some groceries. I had some bottles/cans to feed into the return machines, then it took a long time to find stuff tonight - too tired to rush, and again, I don't like feeling like I have to rush to make things convenient for her. She texted me complaining it had been an hr and she wish she'd been dropped off first. To be fair I did say I was only going to grab a couple things. But a couple things expanded to half a cart (or is it a trolley, NQ and TTD?). She asked if I was almost done and I just texted back "yes." The irony is I was looking for some things she asked me to get for her when she texted.
After dinner, W waited in car while I got some groceries. I had some bottles/cans to feed into the return machines, then it took a long time to find stuff tonight - too tired to rush, and again, I don't like feeling like I have to rush to make things convenient for her. She texted me complaining it had been an hr and she wish she'd been dropped off first. To be fair I did say I was only going to grab a couple things. But a couple things expanded to half a cart (or is it a trolley, NQ and TTD?). She asked if I was almost done and I just texted back "yes." The irony is I was looking for some things she asked me to get for her when she texted.
Sounds like you had a good night, despite the mix-ups and the slow speed of shopping. Cart or trolley depends on my mood – I tend to use them interchangeably. I did say I was fluent in both English and Canadian – and sometimes I get them mixed up LOL
.Originally Posted By: MileHigh
Sometimes I feel it would be less stressful to hit on a stranger than face rejection from WAW.
I so get this. I think I said once before that talking down a feisty drunk when I was in the police reserve was an easier task than talking to my H sometimes.
Originally Posted By: MileHigh
I'm slipping. I left this post up on computer, didn't lock the screen, and went out to get something from the car! Thanks to the FB activity, I almost typed her name twice, too, instead of the usual W. Not that it would really matter much.
Again, overtired
. Get some sleep.Originally Posted By: MileHigh
The old me would have picked up the argument gauntlet. The new me saw it as a battle I don't need to fight.
Well done, keep it up
.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/14/13 04:57 PM
Awwww. I opened my card. There was a note in there about going out to dinner and stuff tomorrow and that she'd like to check out a new bookstore and she was planning to get me a couple books - probably needed to wait until payday - we're both a bit broke at the moment.
She also thanked me for being understanding about everything and said it's all very hard for her, and that she enjoys the time we spend together.
There's that little part of me that wants to try to read something into that "it's all very hard for me." Wants to pry into it and try to find out what all is going on besides what I see. But... no.
Taking it as a sign to keep on keeping on. Staying on course. Stay on target. Mind the reef. Etc.
She also thanked me for being understanding about everything and said it's all very hard for her, and that she enjoys the time we spend together.
There's that little part of me that wants to try to read something into that "it's all very hard for me." Wants to pry into it and try to find out what all is going on besides what I see. But... no.
Taking it as a sign to keep on keeping on. Staying on course. Stay on target. Mind the reef. Etc.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/14/13 06:16 PM
Originally Posted By: MileHigh
Taking it as a sign to keep on keeping on. Staying on course. Stay on target. Mind the reef. Etc.
You got that right
. And obviously everything you're doing is having the right effect on your W so keep up the good work .
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/14/13 11:34 PM
I agree with NQ, keep up the good work
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/15/13 12:35 AM
I was secretly hoping there's be a note in the card. Hoped for more, expected less, very happy with the reality.
That's not a tear... my eyes are a bit watery from... uh... allergies. Yeah.
That's not a tear... my eyes are a bit watery from... uh... allergies. Yeah.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/15/13 12:36 AM
lol all good you don't mean money when you said note then? lol.
you don't mean money when you said note then? lol.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/15/13 01:18 AM
Nah. That would be nice, too! No, I was very happy with the note she wrote. It was short, but said a lot. Given how hard it is for her to express herself, it was very touching.
No, I was very happy with the note she wrote. It was short, but said a lot. Given how hard it is for her to express herself, it was very touching.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/15/13 09:35 AM
It was really nice and very touching It is a huge thing for the WAS to say, really huuuuuuuuuge!
It is a huge thing for the WAS to say, really huuuuuuuuuge!
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/15/13 02:37 PM
I totally agree with TTD. As I've said before, you're obviously doing things right so keep up the good work!
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/16/13 03:10 AM
In a bit of a backsliding funk today. Not sure if post birthday blues....
I've fallen behind on just about everything. Cleaning, vacuuming, dusting - blah. Thanks to the three boxes the W finally brought over with kitchen stuff, and a few things I'm still sorting through, the kitchen is cluttered up again. Looks like she just picked out a few things and brought the rest back. I guess she's using plastic utensils. So much for the silverware I got at the thrift store. I guess unpacking more stuff has me down a bit. I sill have so much cleaning/organizing to do just to get to where I'll have what I feel is a normal operating home instead of random piles of junk. To be fair, I bought this place from borderline hoarders and ended up spending way too much time getting rid of stuff that was squirreled around the property (couldn't afford the legal battle to make them do what they were supposed to do.... long story - don't buy from hoarders!).
As for my health, I fell off the wagon with exercise during vacation, and my birthday cinnamon role binge was the last straw for my blood sugar which has been yo-yoing. That made me feel sick so I basically got no work done today and I've lost track of how many hours I've slept. Since most of those were on the couch (not W's fault this time) I have a headache. And, still haven't sorted out my headache meds with my doctor and pharmacy - that's been on the back burner for a couple months, I think....
Since my meditation class ended, I didn't get out last week. I think that day out every week was as helpful as the yoga and meditation! I need to get signed up for something else to force myself out of the house. I did really good on Monday with at least getting out of my office chair several times and stretching and stuff (I have a reminder program that monitors and alerts me to take breaks at certain intervals). It was all downhill from there. Anyway, I've only done the meditation a couple times, and pretty short ones at that, and just a bit of yoga during those office breaks.
I think it's just a mild funk. I'm worried about my health, but I've been trough this before. I forced myself to go on a moonlit walk this evening, as it wasn't too cold when I went to get the mail. I just have to ease back into it. If I wasn't so broke, and if I could face a commute to somewhere I could even get another job, I'd quit this one. Of course a car would help, and maybe getting out of the sticks, but we've been over that before. LOL.
My problem is that I'm like a turtle. I get overwhelmed easily, and just want to retreat into my shell and hope the problems go away.
I've fallen behind on just about everything. Cleaning, vacuuming, dusting - blah. Thanks to the three boxes the W finally brought over with kitchen stuff, and a few things I'm still sorting through, the kitchen is cluttered up again. Looks like she just picked out a few things and brought the rest back. I guess she's using plastic utensils. So much for the silverware I got at the thrift store. I guess unpacking more stuff has me down a bit. I sill have so much cleaning/organizing to do just to get to where I'll have what I feel is a normal operating home instead of random piles of junk. To be fair, I bought this place from borderline hoarders and ended up spending way too much time getting rid of stuff that was squirreled around the property (couldn't afford the legal battle to make them do what they were supposed to do.... long story - don't buy from hoarders!).
As for my health, I fell off the wagon with exercise during vacation, and my birthday cinnamon role binge was the last straw for my blood sugar which has been yo-yoing. That made me feel sick so I basically got no work done today and I've lost track of how many hours I've slept. Since most of those were on the couch (not W's fault this time) I have a headache. And, still haven't sorted out my headache meds with my doctor and pharmacy - that's been on the back burner for a couple months, I think....
Since my meditation class ended, I didn't get out last week. I think that day out every week was as helpful as the yoga and meditation! I need to get signed up for something else to force myself out of the house.
I did really good on Monday with at least getting out of my office chair several times and stretching and stuff (I have a reminder program that monitors and alerts me to take breaks at certain intervals). It was all downhill from there. Anyway, I've only done the meditation a couple times, and pretty short ones at that, and just a bit of yoga during those office breaks. I think it's just a mild funk. I'm worried about my health, but I've been trough this before. I forced myself to go on a moonlit walk this evening, as it wasn't too cold when I went to get the mail. I just have to ease back into it. If I wasn't so broke, and if I could face a commute to somewhere I could even get another job, I'd quit this one. Of course a car would help, and maybe getting out of the sticks, but we've been over that before. LOL.
My problem is that I'm like a turtle. I get overwhelmed easily, and just want to retreat into my shell and hope the problems go away.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/16/13 10:53 AM
I should amend that - W and I went out last week, but I didn't get my "me time."
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/16/13 10:58 AM
Sorry to hear you're not yourself at the mo MH Hope you get better soon and start feeling more human again
Hope you get better soon and start feeling more human again
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/16/13 09:57 PM
I'm with TTD on this MH. Hope you're back to being yourself again soon.
You take care of yourself - your health is too important to not look after it.
You take care of yourself - your health is too important to not look after it.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/18/13 02:30 AM
Hanging in there. W is here for TV night. Late b-day dinner went well, but she forgot to pay, LOL. Got some books for my birthday. Kind of funny if you remember the books I got her back in June that she wouldn't take.
Did a little exercise tonight, and last night. Getting back on the horse. I need to work on regular/enough sleep - that's important too for blood sugar control.
Tomorrow is going to be brutal at work.
Pushing my luck here, posting on iPad while we're watching SNL.
Got some books for my birthday. Kind of funny if you remember the books I got her back in June that she wouldn't take. Did a little exercise tonight, and last night. Getting back on the horse. I need to work on regular/enough sleep - that's important too for blood sugar control.
Tomorrow is going to be brutal at work.
Pushing my luck here, posting on iPad while we're watching SNL.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/18/13 05:20 PM
Blood sugar much better this morning. The kettlebell swinging last night must have done some good. Had a bit of a backache this morning, but got a good start at work. Ignored temptations and interruptions and got some work done. Even snuck in a 10 minute meditation while waiting for a meeting to start. Took a break and did a little stretching. It's amazing how much diligence it requires not to slip into the mode of just hunching over the computer and toiling away with no thoughts of the physical discomfort. We'll see how I do as the week progresses. Started of good last week, too!
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/18/13 05:46 PM
what's SNL? Hope you didn't get caught Glad to hear your blood sugar is better don't give yourself an injury with the kettlebell now will you Hope the rest of the week goes swimmingly
Glad to hear your blood sugar is better don't give yourself an injury with the kettlebell now will you Hope the rest of the week goes swimmingly
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/18/13 06:27 PM
Saturday Night Live. I will pace myself. My next goal is to get a good night's sleep, somewhere near a normal bedtime.
I will pace myself. My next goal is to get a good night's sleep, somewhere near a normal bedtime.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/18/13 08:59 PM
Well if you didn't spend so much time decluttering and reorganizing LOL.
Glad to hear your weekend went well. And I agree with TTD - hope you didn't get caught.
Glad to hear your weekend went well. And I agree with TTD - hope you didn't get caught.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/18/13 09:54 PM
We used to have saturday night live over here, I've not seen it for years! I think it was our own Brit version rather than the American one. Do you remember that NQ? They used to have the dangerous brothers on it and loadsamoney aka Rik Mayell, Ade Edmondson and Harry Enfield.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/19/13 12:04 AM
I don't think I've ever watched SNL. And I don't remember the Brit version either - may have to look it up on YouTube.
My son has been picking the comedy clips on YouTube lately. He keeps going with Jeff Dunham and Russell Peters, although last night we went with They Think Its All Over. I may find another episode or two of that tonight for him. He needs a bit of cheering up today, but I've gone into that on my thread so won't repeat myself here.
My son has been picking the comedy clips on YouTube lately. He keeps going with Jeff Dunham and Russell Peters, although last night we went with They Think Its All Over. I may find another episode or two of that tonight for him. He needs a bit of cheering up today, but I've gone into that on my thread so won't repeat myself here.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/21/13 10:02 PM
Long time no post. Still alive. Work trying to replace all GAL activity. Ugh.
I did manage to get over to the mall on Tue night for a haircut, a nice dinner out, all by myself. I really enjoyed it. Barely even looked at my iPhone. Tried to just enjoy the meal and the fact that I was out of the house. Then, against my better judgement, I went to a movie that started at 10 PM. That sure undid any slight progress towards regular sleep hours. On the upside, the walking helped overcome all the food I ate!
Of course, the fact that I have to work tonight, and all night Saturday, means I didn't care that I started work late on Wed. And today, for that matter.
W is having hard time at work. She's complained a few times about how she should never have left her last job and how stressful this one is. I offered sympathy, but no solutions. If we'd have gone through with the move to the new house, and selling this one, I wouldn't care if she quit and then looked for another job, or if she took a lesser paying job.
I do understand about job stress. How I would love to be a house-husband!
I did manage to get over to the mall on Tue night for a haircut, a nice dinner out, all by myself. I really enjoyed it. Barely even looked at my iPhone.
Tried to just enjoy the meal and the fact that I was out of the house. Then, against my better judgement, I went to a movie that started at 10 PM. That sure undid any slight progress towards regular sleep hours. On the upside, the walking helped overcome all the food I ate!Of course, the fact that I have to work tonight, and all night Saturday, means I didn't care that I started work late on Wed. And today, for that matter.
W is having hard time at work. She's complained a few times about how she should never have left her last job and how stressful this one is. I offered sympathy, but no solutions. If we'd have gone through with the move to the new house, and selling this one, I wouldn't care if she quit and then looked for another job, or if she took a lesser paying job.
I do understand about job stress. How I would love to be a house-husband!
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/21/13 10:47 PM
Hi MH
Everyone has gone quiet lately, no NQ or Pud My H would love to be a househusband as well, lol. I think he's allergic to work
Take care of yourself MH, no more burning the candle at both ends Consider this a foam 2x4, lol.
Everyone has gone quiet lately, no NQ or Pud
My H would love to be a househusband as well, lol. I think he's allergic to work Take care of yourself MH, no more burning the candle at both ends
Consider this a foam 2x4, lol.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/22/13 12:19 AM
Originally Posted By: TryingToDo180
Everyone has gone quiet lately, no NQ or Pud My H would love to be a househusband as well, lol. I think he's allergic to work
My H would love to be a househusband as well, lol. I think he's allergic to work Sorry, I’ve actually had a busy week at work so haven’t been on the forum as much as usual
. And when I get home I’m so sick of seeing a computer screen that I’ve let my son stay on it and play his games. My H was a househusband for 7 years by choice. Of course, it meant that my son learned to walk around the pool table in the local pub LOL. Of course by then he was well known in there as they made me bring him in when he was only a week old as none of the staff believed that when we were in there on the New Year’s Eve, I was actually 9 months pregnant and that while counting down to 2000 I was also counting and timing contractions. Not to mention the number of afternoons H spent in there playing pool while our son learned to walk around the pool table .Originally Posted By: TryingToDo180
Take care of yourself MH, no more burning the candle at both ends Consider this a foam 2x4, lol.
Consider this a foam 2x4, lol. Another foam 2x4 from me. You’ll do yourself more harm than good by burning the candle at both ends. Sleep is essential for PMA as well as health.
Re: Walking Down a Different Street - 11/22/13 12:46 AM
lol NQ. This is typical, the forum goes busy when I should be going to bed! I'm burning the candle at both ends now, lol. Night all