I'm sending out a heartfelt hello and thatnks to all the wonderful people I've "met" here in the past 7 months. I feel that I have become a much better person because of this site and all of you and your wonderful support and yes even the 2X4s.
In closing my Hs email accounts over the last 3 days I have discovered that he had been having an affair (PA and EA) all this time and was in love with her. She tried to break if off a couple of times but it seems he persued her. The end of June it seems that she had finally broken it off. The beginning of July is when he resumed "relations" with me but we'll never know what that meant. His friends and Sister told me they told him he should stay away from her but he wouldn't listen. Love can be pretty stupid.
Even though he is gone I did call her H and talked to him. I cannot have my M or H ever again but I had to let him know what had been going on. I had to for closure for me. I also wrote her an email telling her how I felt.
We are coping well. D refuses to sleep in her own bed but is doing fairly well and she'll go back to school tomorrow morning. I called the new job place and accepted the position. I know I will cry when I arrive there since it is Hs old school. Life is ironic and a bitch.
I'll never know what could have been so I just live with the knowledge that he cared for me and told me he loved me many times. I have no doubt that he did. I just wish he could be on this earth long enough for me to tell him I loved him madly one more time.
Loads of love and best wishes for your DBing efforts,
Jennifer
Jen,
I am so sorry for your loss and having to find this out during this hard enough time. I hope that you have found some closure knowing that it was over in June and that he continued to tell you that he loved you recently.
I want to thank you for all of the advice and support that you have given over the last 2 months. I miss looking for your comments.
I wish you luck with this new job opportunity and continue to keep you and your precious daughter in my prayers.
Lisa aka Sep
Jen,
It's good to hear from you. I'm sorry for all the pain you are going through. You do sound strong. We are all thinking of you.
Oh... and i'm still around in the other universe so drop me a line whenever you guys want.
Hello Jen darling
I too will miss you but understand completly. Take care of yourself and let yourself grieve as long as you need to. I also want to thank you for all your posts over the past couple of months. You always made me smile!
Good luck to you dear, you deserve every happiness that is in store for you down the road.
You will be missed.
I just wish he could be on this earth long enough for me to tell him I loved him madly one more time.
((((((((((Jen))))))))))
He knew, Jen.... and he knows.
(((((Jen)))))
He knows, I agree with Jeff.
I am really going to miss you. You're an amazing woman. Stay in touch on the other universe.
L. xx
jen...
I hope and pray for your and your daughters hearts to heal.
Im sure he knew how much your loved him, and of course he loved you too.
Im sorry about what you found, You are dealing with so much right now, please take time for you to grieve and hold your daughter tight and know that you have eachother.
I will visit you in the alt. universe.
Take care of yourself and your D.
((((((JEN))))))
((((((Jen)))))))
Sorry you found that stuff, but glad it had ended in June.
I am sure he knows how much you love him. Your actions prove it.
Glad you and D are doing okay.
Come back around if you ever want some virtual hugs.
And see you in the alternate universe.
(((Jen)))
Glad to hear from you. You were a friend to me when I was in a deep hole. I appreciate you and your advice. So sorry for you and your daughter. I will stay in touch over in the alt univ.
My sitch has taken a great turn for the better, my W is dropping the D! She is moving back in our house this week.
Cheers
ps I saw a gecko run into the closet in the bathroom and thought of you.
(((((Jen)))))
Will miss you so much on these boards.. but will definitely drop you a line in the alternate universe.
Your H knew and knows just how much you love him... and he loved you and Gaby very much too.
Hugs,
W2G
Oh, Jen--I'm so sorry. His love may not have been perfect during his lifetime, but his love for you is perfect now.
Hi Jen,
You've always been a bright light on my threads. I am so sorry for what you've had to go through. I believe, with all of my heart, that your H knew and knows now how much you love him.
You are a wonderful person, and I hope that you and your daughter are doing as well as possible.
Take care of yourself,
ITH
(((((Dear Jen)))))
I am so sorry you had to find out about H's PA at this difficult time. Whatever may have happened, it is evident that your H loved you very much and he knows how much you've always loved him. What he experienced with OW was most likely not love but some sort of fantasy.
Jen, I would like to thank you for all your support over the last several months. You were here for me right from the start. I wish you all the best in your new job and we'll keep in touch in the alternate universe.
((((((((((HUGS))))))))))
(((((Jen))))))
You will be missed very much here. Your posts have always been a bright light to me.
I will continue praying for you and Gabby and I will definitely keep in touch in the alt world!
Sorrow looks back.
Worry looks around.
Faith looks up.
Faith to you sweetie!
Jen,
I don't understand why people are saying you will be missed here. There is no reason that you shouldn't continue to post here. Your thoughts and feelings are as valid as anyone else's. Your experience is different. But we need to be reminded of all the possibilities in life. You bring a perspective to this forum that no one else here has. Please don't stop posting to us. We need your thoughts.
I agree....
and we love you, Jen....most importantly, do what's good for YOU.
Just a hello and to let you know that I had a 3rd session with Vernetta pending so I'll have it on Tuesday. Even if not for DBing I could use a good chat with her
Peace
Jen,
I've kind of stayed away for a bit, just to keep my head clear of the situation. You're a strong person, and although this is a very very difficult time, you will make it through it. I'm confident of that.
Sometimes it's hard to put thoughts into words. I just want you to know that I've appreciated your input and help through my struggles, and thank you for that.
God Bless you Jen.
Hi Jen!!!
We miss you!!! Please keep posting.
Jen, I'm sorry for everything that you have had to go through. You were always a positive voice when I was at my lowest. I'll miss you and I wish you and your family the very best.
Peter
Jen- I am so sorry. There are no words that can explain how much you have meant to me on these boards. your laughter channeled through the words on my screen and gave my uplifting smiles in my heart when i was down.
You are an amazing woman and I KNOW your H knew how much you truly loved him with all your soul. i know he truly loved you too.
I am happy you were able to repair your M to an extent and had the gift of becoming a better woman for your daughter and your H.
Now you have this gift forever.
xo xo P
Just read the news of your H and although I have never written anything on your posts, the name looked familiar. Sorry of your loss and I will be praying for you as everyone else in thier difficult times.
Hey Jen, I just wanted to stop by & thank you for all the advise & help you have given me over the past months. We had a fun evening on Coach's b'day having a virtual party & virtual drinks with him!!
I wish you & your D the very best. I bet, you will continue to use your DB lessons throughout your every day life.
Hi guys just dropping in to say hi. I hope everything is ok with you and your sitchs.
Kisses and hugs,
Hey Jen,
I was just thinking about you and up you popped. Its lovely of you to stay in touch, keep posting and let us all know how you are. I think of you often, hugs back to you,
Ali xxx
Hey Jen
I was thinking of you earlier.
Big hugs!
Me too!!! I was checking out your status on FB!! I hope you are doing ok... Give G a kiss from me.
K
((((Jen)))))
I was thinking of you today too. You must have felt our vibrations.
Love to you and Gaby!
Hola Jen. If you ever want a shoulder to cry on I owe you one.
Cheers
Glad you are posting and hanging in there.
Lots of hugs and kisses to you and Gaby!!!!!
Hey Jen,
It's nice to hear from you......Big kisses for your sweet little G.
Sunny
...and continuing to hold you and your family in prayer.
reading this very late, you are familiar face here in DB, my prayers and huge hugs your way and your daughter's))))))))))))
I hope you remember that through dB you showed him kindness and gave so much to him, that you were not bitter and mean but gave goodness even when you didn't receive goodness back.
I'm so sorry for your loss honey-- I'm so glad to see through your posts that you are being strong and that God is blessing you with that peace that surpases all understanding, take care Jen)))
Hey Ms. Jen..
Sometimes silence is the most eloquent.
*hugs*
((((((Jen)))))))))
In case you stop by, I wanted to leave a big hug for you.
How are you and Gaby doing?
((((((Jen & Gaby)))))))
I know it's not easy, but I hope you are finding your peace.
Merry Christmas Jenn!!!
Hoping you feel the blessings of the season and wishing you a very Happy New Year!!!
I don't know if you ever stop by here anymore. I'll catch you in the alt just in case!
Love and hugs!
Michelle
(((((Merry Christmas, Jen!)))))
Merry Christmas, ((((((((((Jen))))))))))))
poet
Merry Christmas Jen and your baby girl!!!!!!
((((((HUGS))))))
Hi Everyone...
Merry Christmas to all of you too!
I thought as 2008 came to an end I'd drop by and fill you in on the past 3 months of my life.
September 29 is a day I wish we could relive. If only we could go back in time and change the course of that day. Of course I cannot take back a day and relive it like Bill Murrey did in Groundhog Day no matter how much I'd like to.
As you know and I won't rehash I then found out that H had left me for OW and now we know there was another OW but no one knows who she is/was so we cannot investigate that angle. We have since concluded that H was killed because of this 2nd woman (we believe her H paid for a hit but have no other proof than a psychic telling me what happened) I was very angry with him and I learned that this anger wasn't going to help me or D so I let it go and have forgiven him 100 times.
Fast forward to early November and I allowed a man whom I had known since about August to come into our lives. He never knew H but knows what happened. He has been so good to me and has shown me that he loves and values me in ways that I had forgotten.
As a result of DBing I have become a better person and I have grown so much over the past 10 months. I feel that this new relationship will be stronger because of all that I have learned from everyone of you. You have all been so kind and honest with me and I am indebted to each of you for everything.
With love,
Jen
Thanks for the update. You really have been an inspiration to me and an example of how strong a woman can be.
Have a great new year!
((((((((((Jen)))))))))))))))
I'm so glad to hear that you have been able to forgive H for what occured. You have also learned so much about yourself through all of these experiences. I'm sure it's bittersweet.
Wonderful news on the new R front. Enjoy!
((((Sigh)))) Oh Jen, you are so deserving of some good karma to come your way!!!! Happy New Year Darlin'!!!!!
Jen -
I hope this new man treats you as the queen you are and brings you great joy.
Ellie