The Dynamics of Living together but separated... - 09/22/08 12:26 PM
Things in my house are just wierd...and I really don't know how to handle it.
H refuses to leave, and I was told by my free consultation with a lawyer not to leave either. We live here passing through the kitchen, not speaking to one another. (the very last time I spoke to him, he said 'its over why don't you face it' as well as he hates me...ugh)
What I'm wondering is some really silly stuff, but things I need to figure out, one way or the other:
H does nothing around the house, no repairs, doesn't pick up after himself, nothing at all. Do I continue to do his laundry, clean up after him, etc etc? Do I cook for him?
H takes our son whenever he wants on the weekends without consulting me or telling me what's up. I am always left to ask our S12 where he's going, when he'll be home. The one time I asked H, he said sarcastically, "why don't you ask S12 when he'll be home". I guess I am afraid to push the issue due to H's anger. Maybe I should write him a letter explaining that we need to come to terms with who gets S12 every other weekend?
When H does leave without S12, he calls S12 several times throughout the day; letting S12 know what his plans are.
H visited his lawyer and said we have two options: let the house foreclose (lost equity with recent downturn in economy) or let him have house with S12. I am on disability and it will be hard for me to afford the mortgage, but still, this is my home and my S's home and I will try my best, where there's a will theres a way . H said if I choose the house, he wants off the mortgage. Who will finance a house with a person on SS alone? I have no idea how to handle this.
I do not talk about lawyers except for what he told me his lawyer said....I try to keep my distance....but it is hard to DB when he never even looks at me or acknowledges my existance.
Suggestions? Advice? I am seeing a counselor while he is not and she tells me to get on with my life.
So frustrated,
B
H refuses to leave, and I was told by my free consultation with a lawyer not to leave either. We live here passing through the kitchen, not speaking to one another. (the very last time I spoke to him, he said 'its over why don't you face it' as well as he hates me...ugh)
What I'm wondering is some really silly stuff, but things I need to figure out, one way or the other:
H does nothing around the house, no repairs, doesn't pick up after himself, nothing at all. Do I continue to do his laundry, clean up after him, etc etc? Do I cook for him?
H takes our son whenever he wants on the weekends without consulting me or telling me what's up. I am always left to ask our S12 where he's going, when he'll be home. The one time I asked H, he said sarcastically, "why don't you ask S12 when he'll be home". I guess I am afraid to push the issue due to H's anger. Maybe I should write him a letter explaining that we need to come to terms with who gets S12 every other weekend?
When H does leave without S12, he calls S12 several times throughout the day; letting S12 know what his plans are.
H visited his lawyer and said we have two options: let the house foreclose (lost equity with recent downturn in economy) or let him have house with S12. I am on disability and it will be hard for me to afford the mortgage, but still, this is my home and my S's home and I will try my best, where there's a will theres a way . H said if I choose the house, he wants off the mortgage. Who will finance a house with a person on SS alone? I have no idea how to handle this.
I do not talk about lawyers except for what he told me his lawyer said....I try to keep my distance....but it is hard to DB when he never even looks at me or acknowledges my existance.
Suggestions? Advice? I am seeing a counselor while he is not and she tells me to get on with my life.
So frustrated,
B