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LRT THOUGHTS

Posted By: sgctxok

LRT THOUGHTS - 03/13/08 08:23 PM

What feelings/thoughts do each of the following words invoke in you? What would the associated body language look like? What would associated conversations sound and feel like?


Maybe you need to go dark, use the LRT.

Maybe your 'darkness' still involves communication....which of these thoughts should you keep in mind?




Worried
Trying
Busy
Available
Anxious
Light
Easy
Calm
Flirty
Cool
Flip
Nonchalant
Unavailable





What are some words YOU want to add/test out on the crowd?
Posted By: mgmellors

Re: LRT THOUGHTS - 03/13/08 11:12 PM

sg,

Fixer is going to be my solution buddies, he said something about asking you for a thread so we can talk?????
Posted By: Teddy

Re: LRT THOUGHTS - 03/14/08 04:15 AM

I like unavailable the best.
Posted By: jmw128

Re: LRT THOUGHTS - 03/14/08 09:12 AM

I'd say at this moment of the morning I feel a bit down...Not sure how to describe, sometimes an interaction leaves me this way

However, when I interact with her or just as important family/people she knows, I am always in a cheerful, happy, calm, confident mood...simultaneously listening more and talking less.

If anyone is a speck like me, you need to be careful that your limited time doesn't make your mind race and thus the interaction becomes chaotic.

I also think that at any given time, one would feel a lot of those. For me, it's all about working on being positive, and thus generally I am cheerful, happy, confident, unavailable(to everyone but WAW),

need to add confident to your list.
Posted By: Teddy

Re: LRT THOUGHTS - 03/15/08 02:32 AM

J,

Nothing works better than the LRT. Nothing. When you stop caring, or seeming to care, their ego gets caught up. Maybe not their hearts, but definently their ego. I remember clearly even in the early stages of the LRT she called me critisizing me for not chasing enough. Incredible huh?
Posted By: jmw128

Re: LRT THOUGHTS - 03/15/08 01:15 PM

Well with 5D involved, I get some contact...working to make each contact as positive as possible, just be the new me, and don't backslide...she sees it, consistency and patience. She knows I care. Maybe that plays a little against me...for me...who knows...just do what is right and be the new me.

gl2uall
Posted By: Teddy

Re: LRT THOUGHTS - 03/16/08 02:23 AM

Just a warning though with the LRT, don't backslide off of it no matter what. You waste a lot of good, hard work. And it is HARD WORK!
Posted By: JenInVen

Re: LRT THOUGHTS - 03/16/08 02:54 AM

I've decided to go dark as of midnight tonight. I have to be strong and not backslide. I have a D6 so we will still have contact. I just won't be initiating any of it

Jen
Posted By: one_light

Re: LRT THOUGHTS - 03/17/08 07:52 PM

Confident, caring, in-control and cool as a cucumber.
Posted By: Kinlovewithm

Re: LRT THOUGHTS - 03/18/08 12:03 AM

If you have no reason for contact (no kids) how long do you keep up the "dark"?
Posted By: Teddy

Re: LRT THOUGHTS - 03/24/08 05:24 AM

As long as it takes. They need to come to you, not vice versa. Trust me, they will. Their ego always takes over.
Posted By: pauld2100

Re: LRT THOUGHTS - 02/23/09 03:34 PM

I have been doing this LTR but no contact is almost impossible do to my thinks still in the house and other things I have to do there. It had been weeks and she had made a few contacts on her own but seems to be just more action in leaving. I don't engage anything till she does, I know she is seeing people but is also having trouble there. I did try to do something that I know she wants taking the kids to church it did work she said yes. We couldn't go because of work but called me back to say she couldn't go and was being more talkative then before and asked if I was still on a dating service? I kept cool and she seemed to want to say more but I said I had to go. So I don't know if this is a backslide but maybe not, she text me over the next weekend at 1:00 in the morning to tell me she had won 4th place in a poker tournament and said hope your well.. I donít know why she would do this. I think she may have went with a date but not sure, why see would be so eager to tell me this when she got home. I resounded with just basic good feelings. The next day I had to contact her about stopping at the house and she was not quick to respond and didnít answer her phone just text but was really ok with it. I was in NC but her asking personal questions about what Iím up to about dating has me wondering. I know she really wanted to go to church but I donít know if I should try that again. Or go back to NC
Posted By: DCBHM

Re: LRT THOUGHTS - 02/27/09 01:21 AM

I have been dim (text message once per day to check on D(1) ) for about a week. W's text message replies are becoming more wordy, she added a smiley face onto the one today, and she initiated a text message this morning to ask me to pay for half a co-pay for D(1)'s bill. I didn't reply - but am going to write her a check.
Posted By: D Money

Re: LRT THOUGHTS - 03/13/09 05:53 PM

I've had a mutual friend of ours tell both me and my W to essentially go dark. If she is holding back also, what does this do to the going dark technique? Will it still be effective?
Posted By: bip42

Re: LRT THOUGHTS - 03/13/09 09:36 PM

What does LRT mean?
Thanks,
BPretty
Posted By: lovemyprincess

Re: LRT THOUGHTS - 07/19/09 02:46 AM

Last resort technique? I'm wondering, too.
Posted By: Entangled

Re: LRT THOUGHTS - 08/03/09 05:59 PM

The Last Resort Technique is describes in Michelle's books Divorce Busting, and The Divorce Remedy.

As it sounds, it's a last resort used when your spouse has declared they are "done" and have one foot out the door towards seperation or divorce.

Have either of you read the books yet?
Posted By: Susan1Survivor

Re: LRT THOUGHTS - 08/19/10 07:17 PM

Hi Teddy,

Not sure if you are still on this forum-I am curious that you wrote the WAS comes to the LBS after the split/separation/D, that their their ego "takes over".

Did anyone find this to be true?

Look for my sitch on "Coping everyday"

Thanks~and I hope life is going well for you~
Posted By: hope for zen

Re: LRT THOUGHTS - 10/25/10 03:03 PM

Think it has just started to happen with my H. He seems shaky though. May be thinking of comming home, but affraid of what a mess he has made. My current thread is in "Affairs and Jealousy."
Posted By: jzoom

Re: LRT THOUGHTS - 10/27/12 02:08 AM

I'm lost on doing LRT while she's still living in the house with me. She already feels like I don't want her in the house and she's working on moving out...but she wants the "old me" back.

So if she wants the "old me" which requires doing 180's from my current behavior and includes doing nice things for her, how do I do LRT? I get not saying ILY and not buying flowers, but does it just mean I act like I don't care if she leaves? Just keep being nice and helpful around the house and upbeat around her?
Posted By: KarenR

Re: LRT THOUGHTS - 10/29/12 07:33 PM

I would like to suggest that you speak to a DB coach as soon as possible, they are experts at the Last Resort Techniques and all of the other solutions that will help you come up with a plan on how to go forward, that is most likely to bring your partner closer and not push further away. There is a $30 off offer now and I know you would be very relieved after you talk to a coach and have plan that could make all the difference in saving your marriage. Take good care.
Posted By: WAW_SC

Re: LRT THOUGHTS - 04/11/13 01:55 AM

I get the feeling that my W is loving my LRT. I am not hassling her, asking her what she is up to, she no feels no " pressure to have sex with me" which is something she says she used to feel when i was at home.

She is free to come and go and do whatever she likes when I have the kids.She is going to the gym, catching up with friends and seems to be getting on with life. We seperated 4 months ago and she BD 4 weeks ago. She took off her ring 2 weeks ago...
We see each other 1-2 weeks for the kids etc, but no conversation initiated between us other than stuff to do with the kids.

I think she is getting much more out of the LRT than I am. She really doesnt want me around.I wonder is she is LRT on me??

I wonder if LRT is actually applicable in my case, it seems to make her happier.
Posted By: Cadet

Re: LRT THOUGHTS - 04/11/13 02:14 AM

Originally Posted By: WAW_SC
I wonder if LRT is actually applicable in my case, it seems to make her happier.

YES it applies here too.

This is not something that is a trick to try to win her back.
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