Yup, you heard it. I filed yesterday, and after the Judge heard my story, he has awarded Emergency Sole Custody pending a hearing about Hus' abuse. S15 has started talking. D12 supports his claims. DHS is investigating Hus.
PRAISE GOD.
I'm having internet issues, I'll try to get online tomorrow, or Monday at the latest. I need to go back to court next week to get a Temporary Restraining Order. If I run into trouble, I'll get in touch w/ Kerry. We are very very safe. Whew.
Relief.
Peace.
Happy for you goldey... Keep walking.
K
Excellent news Goldey....
I am relieved with ya!
Hi Goldey -
I might even see you at the court as I will be there Monday morning at the coffee shop to hopefully become a free man.
Hopefully, your H knows that he has to be a good boy now that DHS is involved. You did good by getting this emergency order in place with the filing.
Hi Goldey, I'm so glad to hear this. Hang in there, you're strong & are doing great.
Hugs
Hang tough goldey!!
Hugs!!!!
Praying for you Goldey.
Sandi
Thanks DB family, I never thought I'd be here, but of course, it had to happen. Doing the right thing is rarely the easy thing.
In an ironic twist of fate, my internet connection is
finally working.
(S18 stopped by today and helped me out!) Seems things are going my way. I might even buy a lottery ticket, since my luck has been so good!
Folks, I have a feeling the roller coaster is only beginning. Hus plans to contest these charges, which means S15 may have to testify in open court with Hus staring him down. S15 is so very brave to be taking these steps. Way braver than his mom ever was.
With God, all things are possible.
Don't forget to set your clocks back tonight.
Peace. Goldey
p.s. Kerry, I'll be in touch soon.
(((Goldeylox)))
I will say prayers for you at mass this morning. Stay safe sweetheart.
We are safe, Hus can't find us although we are hiding in plain sight. Plus, the man can't walk! (Hard to get up stairs using wheelchair)
I'm trying to find it in my heart to pray for Hus and his healing. There's compassion, and there's stupidity. For now, I'll pray for Peace.
Goldey, peace is good.....forgiveness is good (for your sake) but it doesn't mean you have to return to a life of abuse. In time you will feel the things you want to feel. But don't let anyone try to make you feel
shame. It is easy for others to sit outside safe & sound and judge those that are going through the stitch. You will be okay. Proud of you and your brave sons. If you need anything....just ask Kerry
(lol). I can pray from here, but glad you have him there handy.
Take care, sweetie.
Sandi
How's it going today, SuperBoots?
Like everyone else, I am so relieved to hear that you were able to get the orders in place, but I'm sure it doesn't even come close to the relief you must be feeling right about now!
My heart feels heavy for your babies and what they'll be going through in the days, weeks, even months to come. Giving testimony against their father won't be that easy, I'm sure of it, but it sounds like they're ready to unload all the crud they've been carrying around for too long. I am in awe of them and their amazing mother. Your superhero powers of strength and courage do not stop with you - It shines in your children as well!
Be well, strong lady!
(((((((Goldey)))))))
Today was nice. I did a lot of self-care, which was long overdue. S15 only melted down twice (an improvement). He is going to need a lot of help, and STBX will be the one responsible for the financial burden, if I have my way. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for revenge, but I believe that bad guys need to be held accountable.
I'll be back at the courthouse in the am. Had a bad phone interaction w/ STBX tonight. I'm not stupid, it's going to get very very ugly. I'm sure getting a lot of use out of these boots.
Peace.
Goldy, take him to the cleaners and back again! That is the least he can do to pay for the damage he has caused his family.
BTW, tell sons to not look at their dad when they testify. Look only at the lawyer or you. That will be easier on them.
Stay strong, sister. You've shown us what you've got, now you can do it.
Sandi
Hus got served today. Police said it went well. Tomorrow he gets the Restraining Order, so he can't contact me at work, or anywhere else. I'll see him in court. Ugh. Goldey is feeling a little sick to her stomach. Peace.
Hi Goldey -
I am not sure how fast you expect the courts to work. I was told today by a Washington county judge that there are over a half million people in our county and only a few family law judges. They do put priority on cases such as yours that will bump purely financial cases such as mine.
One thing I liked about my lawyer is that he would tell me what he would be doing if he was the opposing lawyer. You have to be thinking defense and offense at the same time.
Have you considered some counseling for S15 and D12 to help prepare them for the their big change in life?
What happens if he doesn't obey the order - you know, calls you at work or wherever?
Are your children in C or have you thought about seeking it? I'm so sorry to hear your S is having a really hard time. Give him lots of love and reassurance. I'm sure you already are.
Well, like you told the kids, try not to look at Hus when you go back into court, but if you do, don't let him scare you. You're a tough gal, Goldey, and you're going to make it through this. You're SuperBoots, remember
? You can do ANYTHING.
((((((((((SuperGoldeyBoots))))))))))
What happens if he doesn't obey the order - you know, calls you at work or wherever?
Are your children in C or have you thought about seeking it? I'm so sorry to hear your S is having a really hard time. Give him lots of love and reassurance. I'm sure you already are.
Well, like you told the kids, try not to look at Hus when you go back into court, but if you do, don't let him scare you. You're a tough gal, Goldey, and you're going to make it through this. You're SuperBoots, remember
? You can do ANYTHING.
((((((((((SuperGoldeyBoots))))))))))
Thanks GF, you have no idea what your support (and all you who lurk as well) means to me and my family.
The restraining order will be served today.
If Hus violates the order, he will be found in contempt of court and the DA will prosecute him. If he shows up, I have pepper spray, and Security will take him out. I reminded them that Hus has a broken leg, so it shouldn't take much to restrain him.
Whew. More relief.
Kerry, I was in the courthouse yesterday at the same time, and was thinking of you. Saw Thompson, in fact, at 1:30. Hope all went well in your sitch. Let me know if you need a sitter, so you and your friend can go celebrate. It's the least I could do. Peace. Goldey
Kerry, BTW, yes the kids have a very good counselor, and lots of people watching and praying for their healing. We're going to be okay, eventually. Peace.
Goldey, we missed each other with the same judge by a couple hours! What a small world.
Goldey, we missed each other with the same judge by a couple hours! What a small world.
Wow! It is a small world, isn't it!
Ironically, I am going to the courthouse tomorrow for Jury Duty. Talk about your small world.
Life marches on.
"Normal" begins to creep in.
It's not as scary to be alone as I thought it would be. And that is a very good thing. I think Goldey's just going to BE for a while.
Then, Donna and I will work our way from coast to coast breaking hearts in towns across America.
Good night, my friends. Peace. (Now we have a good chance, with a new President-elect!)
I cried a bit today. Lots of emotions inside, bubbling up and spilling over. Part of the healing.
Not sure if it's because so much is happening so fast, or if my meds are off, or maybe I didn't eat real well. Or maybe today was just not supposed to be a good day. More healing.
But today is coming to a close, and I pray tomorrow will be better. It should be. S15 has counseling, and we have nothing scheduled in the evening.
Just BE. Breathe. Soak up the peace.
Just Breathe sweetie !!
It's kind of cute, I always look for a reason for why I'm emotional. Maybe we don't need a reason. Maybe we are just
feeling, emotional, spiritual beings having a human experience.
Hugs
Hey Ms. Goldey...
[triple bear hugs!!!]
Crying is good.. releasing emotion, relief, easing of the constant stress you've been under.
Double check with your doc about the meds. Give him a call. You want to be in the best place possible now as you make all these decisions (and what great work you're doing!).
Eat the right foods, get enough rest, exercise and prayer. Like the ancients said... Take care of the mind, body and soul.
You've always offered peace to those around you. Congratulations on finding your own.
*hugshugshugs*
It's an up-and-down ride, isn't it?
Take care of your precious self, love. What would happen to the world if it lost those magnificent Boots?
((((((((((Goldey))))))))))
More crying today. This sucks.
Had too much to drink last night. Bad choice. I may have posted under the influence, on other threads. Cr@p. I guess even superheroes can screw up.
I'm seeing L today that I think I will retain for the D. Too soon to tell, he might not want to deal w/ the other garbage.
Thank God, my sister is headed down from Seattle tonight. She, her Hus, and 2 babies will fill my love bucket all weekend long, when they're not busy whacking me with 2x4's.
The drinking thing was not a good idea. I have a headache now. And I'm still weepy and lonely. Ugh.
More crying today. This sucks.
Had too much to drink last night. Bad choice. I may have posted under the influence, on other threads. Cr@p. I guess even superheroes can screw up.
I'm seeing L today that I think I will retain for the D. Too soon to tell, he might not want to deal w/ the other garbage.
Thank God, my sister is headed down from Seattle tonight. She, her Hus, and 2 babies will fill my love bucket all weekend long, when they're not busy whacking me with 2x4's.
The drinking thing was not a good idea. I have a headache now. And I'm still weepy and lonely. Ugh.
hey overtheriverandthroughthewoodsgirl40--
the drinking thing..we all have don it..here's a tip for you..after drinking and right before bed..eat something lite, drink water, then pop 4 Ibuprophen..it will kill the hangover the next day.
Word of the day...for you..Get A life..GAL now..and hard if possible..
Hugs Goldey...
Don't beat yourself up about the drinking...maybe you needed to do that at the time, just trying to take the edge off all the stress. As M said, we've all done it. Go ahead and cry, then drink lots of water today, find some B vitamins somewhere if you can...and know that this cruddy feeling WILL pass and you will feel better before long.
Also, in that state I find that McDonald's french fries and a vanilla shake make me feel better! Don't ask me why! Couldn't hurt. :P
Drinking....I did it.....sometimes alone....it really does not help overall...but it does dull the pain a little.
(((((((Superboots)))))))
Good luck today. And have fun with your sister's family this weekend!
(((((((Goldey)))))))
Another rough day, huh? I'm sorry, hon. Glad you've got family coming to look forward to though!
That'll be great for you! Just try to remember when/if the 2x4's are swinging, it's only because they love you and are trying to help. They don't want to see you in this situation any more than you, yourself, want to be.
If this L's a good guy, he'll be up for the challenge! Good luck! And yes, fill up on water today!
(((((((More hugs)))))))
Hi Sweetie ! HUG
Just keep posting, journaling, writing about the feelings, either here or in a notebook. Get the tears out. Write where they are coming from. It's totally okay to feel however you want. It's allowed. It's even healthy and nobody here is even going to get mad at you !!!
HUGS
Hey Goldey..
*hugs*
Let's talk sometime.
*hugs*
Friday was not a good day. It started bad, and didn't get better until late afternoon. Meeting w/ L went well. Got some work done, but need to haul butt today (yes, Sunday) to stay on top of it and keep boss happy.
Then my sister arrived.
After sleeping a bit, the GAL began. My sister is a professional GAL'er. And her Hus knows how to GAL, too.
Our love buckets are overflowing.
I got my tattoo. And it looks freakin' beautiful. Will post pix in the alt universe later this week.
For now, I have much work to do.
What did Goldey learn in the last 3 days?
Avoid married men. That's why God gave us Uncle Bob.
Limit alcohol, get plenty of water and rest.
Trust that God is on the job. Stop, be still, and listen. Then do what He's telling you to do.
Find some better friends. Thanks DB. Find other superheroes.
Wash tattoo 3x/day and prepare for others' envy of a job well done!
Peace, my sweets. I'll be around, but busy this week. love, Goldey
p.s. Gypsy, **hugs** are you ok?
hey goldy...i'm sorry to hear about your sitch. i've been following along, jus nt much to say. just that i'm thinking of you and hope you are doing well. seems like it!!! LOL
(((((((((hug))))))))))))))
stay strong girlie
Thx Neil, there isn't much to say anymore.
Obviously, this is one divorce that should not be busted.
I still believe in one man, one woman, and the sacrament of Marriage in the eyes of the Church.
I'll be glad when it's over, and I can pursue an annullment. I've never participated in one, but I think it will be a slam dunk, as far as the Tribunal is concerned.
I'm off to Mass. Perhaps I'll even pray for STBX, but maybe not. Today, I'm praying for God's grace, to help me find the strength to face the challenges ahead.
Thanks, all you DB'ers. You were there for me when my 'friends' developed amnesia and then evaporated.
I'm taking applications for new friends. Peace.
Where do I apply?
K
I can always use a Supehero(in) as a friend...
Sweet Kalni Sunshine, you are obviously grandfathered in.
My sister went home this afternoon, and I cried. Now I'm better. It's been an emotional week, and another one looms ahead. The trick is to remain on-task, and to avoid panic.
Easier said than done. Peace.
hey goldey.....something my Dad always told me...but i never really got until my sitch happened.....
Panic Kills.
keep the faith girl. you're gonna be ok.... whatever happens...
Neil, your Dad knows what he's talking about.
Good Morning Friends. It's going to be an even busier week than before. I'm behind at work (but boss is quite gracious right now) and mostly I'm working on being brave as I learn about how the law works in my sitch.
Nothing about this is pleasant. When the word abuse comes up, people scatter like little ants. There are a few crime-fighting Superheros out there that aren't afraid, I hope I find them this week, so S15 can start healing. He's doing really great so far with the Family Counselor, and he will need some IC for a while, too.
S18 has been brainwashed. Despite my best efforts to encourage him to talk to a priest or a counselor, he has decided to take sides and he has picked his Dad. I get it, but it still makes me sad. I miss my son. We grew up together. I'm not saying it's right, but he was my friend as well as my kid, and now he's unwilling to speak to me. And my job as a mother is to let him go and let him begin his life. Whatever he chooses.
Oh cr@p, more purple puddles.
This too shall pass, and Neil, you're right. Panic kills.
Time to suit up for the day, and go fight the bad guys. Or at least try to get some work done.
BTW, this tattoo hurts, but is healing nicely. Worth every penny. I think I'll get another one when I celebrate the D. Peace.
{{{{{goldey}}}}}
I am sorry I have not been around much, but never doubt that you are in my thoughts and your prayers. You and the kids are in an unenviable position. I know how hard you warred with the decision you are making and while I would delight in God working a miracle in your H, i also know tha you have to do everything necessary to protct you and your children.
Keep your chin up and stay strong. God is watching over you. When you feel overwhelmed, pray Psalm 91. It has gotten me through many a tough time.
SMW
Just some more hugs for you, sweetie. You are loved.
((((((((((((((Goldey))))))))))))))
((SMW)) I know you've been busy. I've been thinking of you, as well. I spent some time reading the book of Job. It helped put things in perspective.
((GF)) Hugs back at 'ya, girlfriend!
It's beeen a crazy day at work...but good crazy. This kind of crazy I know how to deal with! (she said, rolling her eyes...)
Peace out.
I spent some time reading the book of Job.
It's about time......
Ian
Ian, only problem is...I realized I did not see Job in Hus' behaviors.
Ian, only problem is...I realized I did not see Job in Hus' behaviors.
It's not about him Goldey....
Hang in there Goldey...One day at a time.
Alive and Kicking
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfNef6E5Jno
I spent some time reading the book of Job.
It's about time......
Ian
LOL..ROTFLMAO..
Ian..I love ya brother..
Ian, only problem is...I realized I did not see Job in Hus' behaviors.
It's not about him Goldey....
I know Ian, I know. Back to the Good Book.
off topic:
A heartfelt thank you to all Veterans today. Peace.
Hi Goldey -
Is it nice where you are? It is grey and rainy where I am in Tigard. I get to do a cub scout flag closing ceremony in about 2 hours at a retirement center in King City. Probably going to be real wet!
Kerry, I love my new place, it's not far from my old house in Raleigh Hills (SW).
I'm already tired of the wet leaves, wet shoes, wet coats, and it's only been a couple of weeks. However, Mt. Hood is starting to get snow, I'm so excited! While my job is mainly to keep the fire going in the Lodge, S15 is an avid snowboarder and we are itching to get up there! Maybe D12 will do some tubing, too.
I had a very good C session yesterday, and today we (S15, D12, and me) have one with the family counselor. S15 is taking 4 steps forward, 3 steps back.
I find it interesting that my STBX has not contested the D, nor the Restraining Order. Maybe he's broke and cannot afford to consult an attorney. Ask me if I care.
We are moving forward, thinking about Thanksgiving, and dare I dream, Christmas. These kids deserve a great holiday season. They've certainly had enough lousy ones. Peace.
Timberline is my ski area of choice now that they have the Jeff Flood lift and runs. Not too busy compared to Meadows. I dont know anything about the comfort of lodge fireplace as I have only walked by it. Do you cuddle with the St Bernard mascots Bruno and Heidi?
All this wind is knocking my leaves off my trees rather quick. Too bad it cant blow them all to my neighbors yard.
Kerry--
Mine blew into the neighbor's yard, he came and blew them back, then was nice and rounded up the rest of them, too.
SMW
I spend a lot of time in the Lodge at SkiBowl, and have been known to cuddle with anyone in possession of a hot buttered rum.
I'm sick of the rain. And it's only Nov 12.
Today we have family counseling session, where S15 is making great strides. Still no word from the court, which is good. We need some time and distance from the sitch right now.
Next week, we'll try to make some decisions about the holidays. It will be a very Merry Christmas. There may not be much under the tree, but we already have everything we need. Peace.
There is pretty good free tubing/sleding a few hundred yards up from the White river canyon parking lot. Skibowl and Mount Bachelor have tubing lifts! Still not enough snow.
I am thinking about trying snow boarding for the first time this year. It should equalize me with GF40 who has tried snow boarding once. I will also try to get my kids to ski on their own - holding one of them between my legs with my telemark skis gets me totally worn out by the end of the day.
Kerry,
It's supposed to snow on the Mt. on Thursday. So, I will be up there on Saturday, fo' sho'. It's a tough job, but I'm willing to take one for the team and drive the kidlets up there. My skiing days are over. Now I just gawk at the hardbodies from my perch at SkiBowl.
I'll try to get over to your thread for an update on your sitch...how are things? Any more trouble @ IKEA? lol
Peace. Goldey
Just checking to see how you are today, Miss Boots.
(((((Goldey)))))
Hi GF,
It's been a rough couple of days, both at work and at home. However, I happen to know that God will provide for our every need, and I have absolute faith that He will see us through this current trial.
Divorce blows chunks.
Venting:
Today I was contacted by a Detective who told me that a second report of abuse has been filed against STBX-H. If I ever doubted that I was doing the right thing, I now know that I'm a good Mom and I can sleep at night that I did everything I could to protect myself and my kids.
Major venting:
I hope he rots in hell. In the hottest part. Forever.
It's late, I'm emotional and tired. Good night friends. Give those babies extra lovin' every chance you get. They grow up too fast. Goldey
Today I was contacted by a Detective who told me that a second report of abuse has been filed against STBX-H.
by whom??
You are indeed doing the correct thing Goldey. Is there a restraining order in place? You might consider having pepper spray handy. I am sure if you stop in at GI Joes or a local gun store they carry the convenient personal protection spray. There are lots of places on line where you can order also.
Report was filed by a Domestic Violence counselor we met on Tuesday, who called DHS.
Restraining Order in place, pepper spray: check.
Today I learned that we have a hearing w/ Judge Raines on Tuesday at 1:00pm. At first I panicked, but later recovered. Superboots is going to strap on those boots and cape one more time and fight for her babies.
Guys, I'm hollering for help. I don't know if I'm strong enough to do this alone. It's just me and the L, and STBX w/ his L, and all our "friends", ready to tell the judge I'm a nutcase.
If nothing else, please send prayers to Oregon. NOW. Peace.
Report was filed by a Domestic Violence counselor we met on Tuesday, who called DHS.
Restraining Order in place, pepper spray: check.
Today I learned that we have a hearing w/ Judge Raines on Tuesday at 1:00pm. At first I panicked, but later recovered. Superboots is going to strap on those boots and cape one more time and fight for her babies.
Guys, I'm hollering for help. I don't know if I'm strong enough to do this alone. It's just me and the L, and STBX w/ his L, and all our "friends", ready to tell the judge I'm a nutcase.
If nothing else, please send prayers to Oregon. NOW. Peace.
DHS will carry more weight than "friends"....prayers on the way!!
Caramello Koala thoughts are coming to you from Down Under Goldey. I reckon BA has got the right end of the stick.
DHS >>>> h's 'friends'
Truth is on your side.
Caramello Koala 'bombs' from the eucalyptus tree.
then big Ozzie hugs for Goldey (no claws - bad Koala!).
This Koala has a clean bum so he no smellie.
if you can understand that then you are my long lost twin.
Just being silly to hopefully bring a smile to your face.
If all else fails, there's always chocolate and red wine and cuddles from kids.
Oh thanks Purple, I need the smiles.
I'll take a double order of chocolate and the cuddles, but better pass on the red wine.
Too much wine and Goldey does stupid things. I'm sticking with nicotine. I'm single-handedly keeping Philip Morris in business. That's me, I'm a giver. Peace.
(((((goldey)))))(((((boots)))))
From the sound of it, you are going to be fine! Let your L work, listen carefully, and follow advice! Remember that it's not just you being protected, it's the kids, too. You can do it!
I've got a ripped up knee, so I'm not skiing either... might be able to help with the hot buttered rum, though!
Thanks Jeff.
The funny thing is...I'm on the verge of getting fired, S15 is acting out in school, and I'm putting my a$$ on the line to fight an uphill battle that makes those around me nervous.
The holidays are coming, which is fine. I hear the first year is the worst.
It can only get better, right?
I wish it would stop now. Ugh.
So, anyone looking for a really good Project Coordinator? I'll be available to relocate in a few months.
Pro's: Navigates stressful situations while maintaining a sense of humor. Under normal circumstances, able to acheive work/life balance with ease.
Con's: Has trouble while in the middle of divorce. Currently feeling a little needy, comes with teenagers.
References available upon request.
Peace.
Well, at least around the house I do a rotten job of coordinating projects!
Sorry to hear about S15, we've been lucky about that so far. Fingers crossed!
From what I have read, I don't see the uphill battle, other than a D in general! OK, that's bad, but it seems you are doing the right things, unless I missed something.
(((((((boots)))))))
((((((((((((((Goldey))))))))))))))
Spiff 'em up and get those a$$-kicking boots on, woman! You will get through it. They are just individuals that don't matter. Only you and your babies matter. YOU CAN DO THIS.
Will keep you in my prayers..
You can do this, you can do anything you need to get through this. I have no doubts.
I will be praying for you and your loved ones.
K
Once again, my friends, thank you.
There will always be people who can't (or choose not to) understand. Too bad my boss is one of them. If he fires me today, so be it. I'll have more time to take care of my babies, who need me now, more than ever. God will take care of the rest. I'm a good employee, and once this is over, I'll be ready for a change anyway. (Bartender, I'll take a 'brand new start' please.)
S15 has been dating a wonderful girl for over 9 months and they have something very special. He has been making bad behavior choices, so she's decided to call a 'time out' until he can get some help for his anger issues. Sound familiar?
S15 doesn't see it coming. Pray he takes the news with the grace it is intended. FutureDIL15 cares for him deeply, and just wants him to get healthy, so they can move forward. She's a good kid.
Okay, I'm off to start my day. Wonder what's in store for me today? It can't get any worse, right?
...Crap, where did I put my boots? Oh, that's right, I loaned them to GF. Hey Valerie, I need my boots back! Peace. Goldey
Oops, my bad!
Here they are! Wait - do I have to give 'em back?
They're so sparkly and magnificent!
Take care of you, love!
(((((((SuperBoots)))))))
I thought Natasha Bedingfield was wearing them...
All you need are gold boots and a parachute, baby....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2XcqKaXDIY&feature=channel(((((Super Boots)))))
Goldey - dont worry about what H's friends and family are going to testify. When it comes down to it, a court appointed counselor will be able to determine what is best based upon interviews with the kids, H and yourself. You got a leg up on him literally and physically.
BTW... Dont test that pepper spray on yourself. This video should be convincing enough...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAPlWiQUuaQ
(((((Goldey - aka Superboots)))))
I have just caught up on your sitch and wanted to let you know that I'm praying for you earnestly!
I'm hoping that your boss will try to be more understanding about your need to protect your children and yourself. It's a hard position to be in, being the boss and running a business when part of your staff is having a crisis and is MIA sometimes. I'll pray for his heart to soften.
(((Mishka))) I'll join y'all in Surviving soon. Hope you are having an okay week.
Softened heart. We all could use that from time to time. Combined with Mikey's prayer for good aim
, I think we're in business.
Have a wonderful weekend my sweet DBer's. I won't be posting much, but know that I love you all, and we are ultra super safe. Peace. Goldeylox
Kerry, thanks for being you, man. I'll be in touch soon. Pray for SNOW! Goldey
Thanks, one of my faves. Didn't make the Top 40 CD, but was considered.
Feeling a little blue this morning. Yesterday S15 got put on 'time out' by his GF of 9 months. They are the sweetest couple and she told him he needs to get his act together pretty DAM quick, or it's over, permanently. Both of them are hurting, because they care so much for each other. So young, but a shining example of love. Bittersweet for me.
Today I'm taking dorkyson15 to the skatepark, since we did not get enough snow on the mountain to warrant a snowboarding day trip. Later, I'll GAL with a girlfriend I've had trouble finding time for, and tomorrow...well, church, and all that jazz.
Tuesday is my first big legal hurdle, the Restraining Order hearing. Goldey is trying really hard to be brave. It's not working yet. But it will. Because I'm Superboots, and I'm doing the right thing. Peace.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJOzdLwvTHA
Hey, Superboots!
Yes, you are doing the right thing. The Restraining Order hearing should be brief and pretty much a slam-dunk if a professional also filed a report. Just go in and have your ducks in a row; facts, just the facts. Dates, locations, events. Do you have a friend you can take with you for moral support? In our state, your H wouldn't have to be there--do you know if he will be present?
Hi Sweetie, just checking in and trying to catch up on what's going on. I notice a word used a lot...."panic". Then I saw what Neil said:
hey goldey.....something my Dad always told me...but i never really got until my sitch happened.....
Panic Kills.
Do you know what immediately came to my mind when I read that?
Faith kills panic. Whenever we panic, we are actually saying that we do not think our God is big enough to handle what we have to face, and that's just not true. I know you know that goldey, but sometimes we just need to hear it again. That is why your brothers and sisters are here for ya.
So many people on this board care a great deal about you. You are blessed and your life is going to be so much better now.
Love,
Sandi
Thanks for the reminder Sandi.
I remember when Neil told me that a couple of weeks ago, and those words have saved me countless hours of needless worry. When I feel the "P" word coming on, I remind myself that panic does indeed kill, and attempt to abolish it immediately.
A new tool for me will be, "Faith Kills Panic".
STBX will be in the courtroom, along with his L and a baliff. I remain ultra safe. The RO should stick. My moral support is spread out across the country, as it is Thanksgiving next week and many are traveling. My Dad will be here, and his wife (my incredible step-mom) but are not coming to court. They will hold down the fort w/ kids. Then, we'll eat some turkey.
I remember the week I was baptized (I was a late bloomer) and was told that Satan would test me with everything he had to try to get me to quit. And he did.
Now he's come back, but again, will not shake my faith in our awesome God.
The Judge happens to be a Christian man. I'm sure he'll do what is in the best interest of the children, and ask enough questions to determine if my safety requires that RO be continued. Let's hope so.
In a sign of solidarity, break out your favorite boots and wear them proudly on Tuesday.
Peace.
Goldey, I remember a young mother that was going to court and was so scared that she would end up losing her kids and everything. She was filled with panic. I reminded her that God was not afraid of her H or what her H could do. God is on His throne and Satan is already a loser. This was not God's best for you as for what He wanted to happen for your life, but that does not mean that He can't have the best to come afterwards. He never wants His children to suffer with the kind of pain you have had to endure. Your trust in Him will not go unnoticed and you will be rewarded. Go into that courtroom knowing that you have angels all around you and the highest authority in Heaven is your Counselor and Lawyer ......so how can you not win? Everything is going to be okay. Just believe and rest in Him.
Love,
Sandi
Goldey--
Don't walk in there alone. I know from experience, seeing him will pull the rug out from under you. That doesn't mean your faith is weak, just that sometimes we need someone walking alongside. Yes--solidarity and angels cannot be discounted. But right now you need someone with skin on, right beside you.
Yes, I agree and if you can keep from looking at him, I think that would help. So, try to keep your eyes turned away......unless you feel strong and want to show him that you have no fear of him and can look at him with calm assurance. That would be terrific if you did that.....but you do what you feel that you can....no pressure here, only prayers. Having some people there in person to support you would be good. You have a lot of people praying for you and everything is going to be okay.
Goldey--I was lurking here last week and catching up. Then I found a post from you on my thread! Thanks for your support. I have you and your family (including your stbxh) in my prayers. Be strong for your kids!
(((((((Goldey)))))))
((((((((and)))))))))
((((((((her)))))))))
(((((A$$-kicking))))
(((((SuperBoots)))))
Oh and I WILL be wearing my boots tomorrow in honor of you, sweets!
I'm wearing my sh!tkickers too goldey!!! Go get 'em!
Goldey--You and your family were in my prayers this morning. You have my sincere best wishes for a positive outcome in court today. I'll be thinking of you all as I stand out in the middle of nowhere Kansas working.
LE
I have my superboots on too for you lady...
Good Luck! Stay strong...
xxxx
Kalni
BOOTS POWER!!!!!
(((((Goldey)))))
{{{{{Goldey}}}}}
Praying for you sweetie. Stand strong and proud.
SMW
I don't currently own any boots, but I am wearing them in spirit!! The over-the-knee, black suede, high-heeled, pointy-toed ones. (They frown on those in my school.)
I told you I'd wear my sh!tkickers for you, and true to my word, I am!
Praying for you goldey. You will be just fine today. Don't look at him.
hey..Goldey..I'm thinking of you...
Me too....I'm thinking of gold lame thigh high boots and you lookin' HOT in 'em.
Good Luck today!
Sometimes, if you have just enough faith, something wonderful happens.
S15 did not have to testify, but was brave and willing if that's what was asked of him. I continue to have sole custody, and the Restraining Order has been replaced by the next best thing, a No Contact Order.
We remain safe. A little shaky, but very strong.
STBX-H was there with many of my former friends, waiting to tell the Judge that I'm a fruitcake (this may or may not be true, lol). He has apparently seen this tactic before, and he did not care.
Opted to lose the boots, and instead wore a skirt with cute pumps that showed off the new tattoo!
New start, my friends. God is good. Peace. love, Goldey
Happy for you Goldey!!!
Can I take the boots off too?
K
That depends!
Ok Jeff, I am leaving the boots on, just the boots though, nothing else...
I'm still wearing mine in case someone or something needs kicked.
Wow a "No Contact Order"! That is usually used for a criminal offense.
It is going to turn out well for you. I feel for the next woman that falls prey to your STBXH.
I'm still wearing mine in case someone or something needs kicked.
Want directions to my DH's ship???
SMW
...and how about my husband's office in the chaplaincy department?
Way, to go, Goldey! But I really had no doubt you'd come out smelling like a rose. Very glad D15 didn't have to testify.
LMAO
"One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you".
I'm trying not to gloat, really. It's not over yet.
I'm just glad yesterday is over. It was a hard day. Very odd to see my friends jumping ship (think Pirates of the Carribean action scene, minus Johnny Depp).
I pray none of you ever have to endure a sitch like mine. I pray you never hear another story of chronic abuse, and if you do, you recognize the warning signs. Finally, I pray if you know someone who is in harm's way, DO SOMETHING. (Three little words, "Are you safe?") If you don't know what to do, call the police. Or a Superhero.
If you see yourself in my story, there is help out there. I'll even let you wear my boots, if you want.
love, Goldey
Hey Goldey
Haven't posted to you in a while, but try to keep up. You sound good...strong..like you are going to be OK. That is a good thing considering what you have been, and are going through.
I just wanted to say..a while back when we posted back and forth a little we joked about some similarities between your H and me...don't even remember what they were.
I just wanted to let you know those similarities would end at physical violence and making my family feel unsafe....hope you never thought that at any time I was making light of your situation. I think there was a time when, as I followed along, I did not really understand how serious it was.
Happy Thanksgiving
Take care...stay strong...God Bless
ndsmhelp,
Please know...even I didn't know how bad it was until I was able to step back and see things for what they are.
Thanksgiving will feel different this year. D12 is going to be with her Dad (necessary, but sad for me). My darling sister is out of town, but the rest of the gang made the trip to Portland, and is making room for a turkey feast as I sit here typing.
Have a wonderful day tomorrow, everyone!
love, Goldey
Hi Goldey, glad everything went as well as it did!
I prayed a lot that day.
Happy THANKSgiving...
Excellente!
Phew! One bridge crossed!
I'm glad for you. you sound relieved.
WAS THERE EVER A DOUBT???
Sweetie Pie......God is good, isn't He? Yes, Thanksgiving will be different as other holidays and events, but I leaned something a long time ago.....I don't always apply it, but I know that I know that I know......it makes a difference, and that is what I'm trying to say: We have the
power to make our day the very best that we can make it--under the conditions with which we are dealing.
Say, that sounded pretty smart, didn't it?
I'll have to go write that down before I forget it.
I knew God would come through for you! Easy for me to say sitting from here, huh? You are a blessing to all of us and you are a brave soul that will touch more lives in time to come. God is going to use you Goldey, so don't throw those boots away!
Take care. Love ya,
Sandi
There's certainly much to be thankful for today. 'Nuff said.
Have a wonderful holiday everyone. I'm taking a couple days off and gonna love up my kids.
One last prayer request for today, as I drop D12 off to see her father. "Lord, watch over and protect D12 today, and soften my heart so that healing may begin. Amen." Peace. Goldey
Dear Lord, put your fire wall around D12 today. Thank You.
((((((((((D12))))))))))
Happy Thanksgiving, Miss Boots!!!
Goldey, how did things go? Has the D come back home yet?
Sandi
Ugh. I hate Mondays.
The weekend was hard...STBX-H wanted to see D12 for his every other weekend, so I reluctantly dropped her off Friday night, and got her back Sunday.
I know this will get easier with time, and that STBX-H will lose interest before too long. He didn't want to be a dad when we lived there, so I can't imagine him starting now.
I decorated my little apartment with what Christmas stuff I've rescued from the house, and am trying to keep a positive attitude.
S15 gets stronger every day. It keeps me going, when doubt starts to creep in. I keep telling myself that I did the right thing, and it will get easier.
Work is work. I'm not fired yet. Just in case, I'm dusting off the resume. I may just have to start over in a new city anyway.
On a positive note, both kids were out Friday night, so I went dancing with an old pal. Oh my, things have certainly changed! Had a great time, but I don't think I can keep up the pace like I used to! Turning 40 will do that to you, I suppose.
As we wait in Joyful Hope...
Peace.
I know this will get easier with time, and that STBX-H will lose interest before too long. He didn't want to be a dad when we lived there, so I can't imagine him starting now.
I would not expect anything one way or the other. Old dogs can learn new tricks
. No matter what happened he may wake up and want to be a better dad..ya never know.
Hey Ms. Goldey..
While out dancing, were you out there grinding with the rest of them? Did the "No Pants Dance" thing happen? My sons like to keep me up to date trends.. or maybe it's just a conspiracy to keep me off the dance floor.
Karaoke.. here I come!
*hugs*