Last thread locked. here's another. I had two different thread titles thought up. This one from the old "Life" cereal commercial and one from the Guns N Roses song-"I Used To Love Her But I Had To Kill Her". I thought I better go with the first one and not alarm you all by choosing the second.
Distressed, thanks for the comments on my thread and Girl thanks to you also..Girl I am 44 years old. My son is 24. I started early right out of high school..I'm getting old..
Here are the thread titles in all their splendor and glory.
My StoryUnleash the 2x4'sStick a ForkAuntie EmBullfrog2 WAW'sLast WhistleMediation 1Mediation 2Fishing, Dogs, DivorceLandmines, Boobie Traps and DorkholesIf I Was A Porno StarGone Like a Freight Trainand a midday update. Well, caught the wrath this morning. Seems my STBX is a little miffed. Probably because she won't be attending the wedding tonight. She decides to inform me I can no longer eat the food here, can't come and go as I please. Laid down bunches of rules. Since I'm paying the mortgage it all fell on deaf ears. She has lots of nerve. Oh well, what ya gonna do? Seems she has decided that D is hard. She has decided it may just be difficult on her after the D is final. I knew she would attempt to ruin my son's wedding day. That's why she's not welcome...she attempted it anyway by ruining my day, well it did not work. If she ruined anything at all it ruined her day, because due to her actions I stayed here all day. She had no space.
So eat another prozac honey and lay up in your laziness and depression with your dogs while they pisss all over your dream home and claw the front door down.
There is now no chance at reconciliation ever. I would not entertain the thoughts of her coming back for any reason. I'm done. I want a divorce ASAP. I feel nothing for her but contempt. She is an idiot. I can't believe I ever got involved with her. I can't believe I chose to love her. I can't believe I made that mistake.
I've got a wedding to go to. Lots of fun. A NEW TUX TRIGGER FOR ME TONIGHT.
I'll post later tonight. I'll have pictures over in the Netherworld.
I'm still good. I want allow chitttforbrains to get me down any more.
She's on the coaster again. I'm outside the fence waving at her sorry assss as she passes..I'm taking pictures of her too!!
Seems like this wedding may have been a trigger for STBX too. Since she tends to act like an assss she won't get to she her D as a flower girl for the first time. I bet STBX hates F'in triggers.
Hey Mike
I hope the wedding goes really well today. Sorry that your wife isn't being the nicest, sounds like you are doing a great job in not letting it get to you.
Have a wonderful day!
OMG Mike!! LMAO
I love the GnR song, but you are right, we would have all hit panic mode, especially after the way your STBX has been acting lately.
Yes, the STBX is riding the BIG coaster right now. Now that she bought the bed (probably on ebay) she does not want to lie in it. I guess she is finding out that Reality Bites, huh?
Enjoy the wedding and your D's premiere as a princess. I will be looking for the pictures.
SMW
well the wedding went off without a hitch. I now have a new DIL and from the looks of things a very happy son. I hope they can make it. I guess they have a 50% chance if stats hold true.
SMW-I figured if I picked the second thread title I would have been brought up on charges..LOL..When I left STBX seemed very down. I 'm sure she was disappointed that she did not get to see D..D did great by the way. It's amazing what happens when you hand a 2 yr. old a basket with fake flowers and have skittles in your pocket
They seem to pep right up and do whatever you ask them to do
D had a really good time. The reception was great, I got to dance with my D and she told me on the way home, "I danced with my daddy and it was fun."
I love my daughter with all my heart. My son too. I so hope my son can make this work. The wedding was emotional for me. While they were saying their vows I flashed back to when his mother and I got married. I could remember her saying her vows. My DIL was absolutely beautiful...I hope they will be forever happy.
STBX was in bed when we got home..Thank the lord...D went fast to sleep..
The plan for tomorrow, work on the house. All day long. Try to make more headway. My BIL worked there today..Hopefully the bathroom will be done soon and I can start to move in.
I'll post what pictures I have on my camera over in the alternate universe..My sis has some really goos ones but must send them to me.
Pictures are out there..about 20..some good some not so good..
Congrats on gaining a new DIL. Sounds like I lovely evening. I'll go take a peek at the pics.
Good luck getting things done tomorrow.
(((Mike))) love the GnR song, but that one is probably not the best one to pull a thread title from. How 'bout "Its So Easy", Why don't you just?....
I'm so glad the wedding was good and that DS and new DIL are happy. Weddings are not something I'm ready to be a part of these days. I'll have to go and check out your pics.
You sound really good and really strong. Lying in the bed you've made really sux when reality hits.
Take it easy.
Hey Mike
We've been going through this together bruv and it seems things happen at the same time to us re the W's. Mine has gone proper weird and reverted from what agreed during the 'chat' Thursday to the evil beeeittchhh she has been for 6 months.
Have a great day at the house
Worked on the house today. Got a lot done. Got all the quarter round down except for the last bedroom. BIL came over and we hung a brand new door in the bathroom. Hung a medicine cabinet, put up all the baseboard and trim on the wainscoating. Put a new light over the medicine cabinet. Rewired the light switch in the bathroom so it would work both medicine cabinet light and over head light. (I have become a shade tree electrician) I may have missed my calling.
Kilnzed the back door and front door and applied fresh paint to each. Painted a TV stand for D. Worked on a door in the master bedroom that was hanging when we attempted to shut it. Put the vanity in and hooked up the water, installed the faucet for the shower.
D's room is now done and furnished. Pictures have been added in the alternate universe.
Got in late and spent a little time with D. She has gone to bed now. No interaction with STBX.
Work tomorrow, dental appointment after work, will return tuxedo's and then run over to the house to work a couple of hours..
Hope everyone is well.
Love the thread title. Caught my eye right away. I can still see Mikey in my mind...
Glad you enjoyed the wedding regardless of STBX's actions. And I am sure D was adorable, will check on that....
Just wanted to say hello, and good night!
BBJ
Mikey, you are a man on a mission!
OMG Mike, you are too funny.
Glad to hear the wedding went so well, and that you didn't let the STBX get you down. Sounds like house is coming along nicely. Peace.
Mikey, you are a man on a mission!
what kind of mission do you think I'm on??
what kind of mission do you think I'm on??
You know, just getten 'er done. The painting, quarter rounding, Kilnzing (don't even know what that is!), hanging (cabinets and doors), wainscoating, rewiring... all that stuff. =)
Have a happy day and good luck at the dentist.
Mike - Was just thinking in your recent posts the way you've been. Good for you and all that, but am I correct in that you've actually quit saving it now ?
The reason I ask is, that there is as if, then there is Mike As if...lol. Like laughing at your W's attacks and comments and no longer listening and validating. Are you now happier away from here and just looking forward to the future alone ?
How much will you get to see your D BTW ? when you split
Good for you and all that, but am I correct in that you've actually quit saving it now ?
Yes, I called done about 1-2 weeks ago. I'm done. There will be no reconciliation.
Are you now happier away from here and just looking forward to the future alone ?
I'll never be alone. I have my daughter, my son and my family. There is a lady out there for me Arthur. They all don't have WAW mentality..there are plenty on this site that prove that.
Like laughing at your W's attacks and comments and no longer listening and validating.
You're right. I know longer validate or listen to attacks on my character, attacks about my credibility as a father.
I am doing my own thing Arthur. I'm living there in the house now, there is really no communication at all unless it involves my D. I leave at 4:45 Am to come to work, I get off work and go work on the house or do something else untill about 7:00pm, I drive home, get there by 7:45pm. spend time with D until 9-9:30, then up to bed.
Yes, Arthur I'm getting a Divorce.
I am not stopping it. I am not holding it up, I am not encouraging it.
It is what it is.
and she's finding it damn hard to do it all herself. I hate it for her but it's what she wants.
I'll have my D-112 days every year. I'll get to see her every other weekend from Weds.evening at 6:00pm until Sunday evening at 6:00pm..
I'm good Arthur. I'm going to be ok.
Fair play to you Mike. You sound definate, but what if she crumbled now ? Do you still do the Divorce ? or haven't you thought of that ?
Mike,
I am sorry you are where you are but I am glad you are dealing with it the way you are.
And yes, there is definitely a lady out there waiting for you, a lucky lady...
K
You sound definate, but what if she crumbled now ? Do you still do the Divorce ? or haven't you thought of that ?
She has attempted to impune my credibility.
If she crumbles she will crumble in upon herself. She is a trainwreck. She is a mess.
Yes, I still do Divorce.
I've thought of everything and don't think I have missed anything at all
Arthur there are a few on here who are pretty much done I think. Some have ben here longer than others. Some did not stick around long at all..Ping is an example..
When you have given it your all and feel you've done all you could then I don't feel you can continue to look back but must move forward or risk getting stuck.
thanks Kalni. I'm sory I have not been over there to see you..I've been busy here in Newcomers.
I have hope that someone is out there.
Mike - Forgive me if I'm wrong here, but have we not been on this a similar time ? So like only 6 months ?
Given the knowledge that you've said to others etc about what a WAW says or does and what it really means, does this not feel to soon for you ?
Maybe it's just me and you've detached big style and I'm glad your happy. Not trying to change what you feel, your living it daily and I know I wouldn't want anyone in my spot, just interested buddy.
Will check out the snaps tonight hopefully
Forgive me if I'm wrong here, but have we not been on this a similar time ? So like only 6 months ?
yes, you are correct.
Arthur, there is nothing you can say to me that would piss me off. You do not have to walk on eggshells with me. You can say or post what you want on my thread..this is for your info. You will not offend me. EVERYBODY POST WHAT YOU WANT..IT IS OK.
Given the knowledge that you've said to others etc about what a WAW says or does and what it really means, does this not feel to soon for you ?
I'm just paying forward what I've learned Arthur as it was taught to me. Even though I'm done with this M it does not mean that I still don't have things to learn. That's why I'm still here. That's why I'm still at my house with my STBX. I don't run. I'm not walking away. I have not pushed it forward, I have not stopped it, I have not slowed it down.
I registered on this site on 3/18. I lurked here for about 2 weeks before I posted. I started making changes just after Xmas 07..so yes, about 5 months is how long I've been here. 7 months since I started making changes on my own.
Arthur-I've always felt that I was one of the ones that MWD refers to in her book. She says that there are times when you start this too late that the WA would not change their mind no matter what and D is inevitable. So if that is the case with me then I would assume that my STBX is not a WAW in the true since of the WAW..She does many things that a WA does and says..but it appears she has never been swayed.
Her actions were to keep things civil.
Ping's W's actions were the same.
Question for the LBS-how long do you wait?? How long do you wait for them to get their "stuff" worked out?
Another problem that developes in these sitches..family lines are drawn..my family, her family..all are uncomfortable now..just more problems..
I don't think that you have ever heard me say when someone has uttered the words, "I'm done", ....hang in there...When someone tells me their done then I believe their done.
I say if you want to wait and hang in there and try for as long as you can then I say, "good on you" you try until you can't try anymore..but if you say "I'm done" then I say, "good on you"..go be happy...cause god knows
we have all been miserable, we've all been unhappy. It has sucked one big gargantunin wee wee...you can't be sad forever, you can't pine forever..
you can't get stuck..
Now, you all may lay waste upon my forehead if you like. Swing hard..the scar tissue is pretty thick from my buddy Ian.
Very well said my friend. There is a time for everything, and only that person knows for sure when that time is. DBing is not a science it is more of a practice, a game plan in which to apply for ones self.
Good on you
Brian
Nice post Mike. I ask as it helps with me, especially as we've been on this journey pretty much together from the off.
I understand what you are saying re no responses from your W, but for a while there, you felt you were making progress no ? Then decided it was all a show prior to the getting the dogs ? I think your W was slipping back in and is now back to justifying her actions, I think she will crumble into a big heap when your gone.
I totally understand where your at tho sir, I may be there myself sooner than I think, but I'm hanging in longer for my boys sake and future (no guilt trip meant there at all BTW, just me). I'm putting myself through more than I believe I should for my boys.
Mike,
good on you.
I think what Arthur is feeling is that if someone like you, who has been so helpful to myself and i'm sure others, is Done, then what about us?
plus, if you're Done, will we be losing you? I personally hope not.
But Arthur, Mike is Mike, his STBX is who she is. That has no bearing on Arthur, or one of the many Kens. Dont gauge yourself by Mike.
There will always be a time when you have to ask yourself, When is enough? right now I feel that daily, but I'm not ready yet. I still need to fight more, still need to get healthy and keep going. But someday I will need to make that decision. and I'm not looking forward to it.
but Mike, keep up the good work, and thanks again for all you've helped me with.
First of all Arthur, no one can tell you when you are done. YOU will know.
Mike says he is done. Today I believe him. Who knows what tomorrow will bring.
The bottom line is we are here to support each other. I questioned Mike when he said he was done and he answered all of the questions to a point where I understand his stance. I support him in what he is doing now.
If Mike changes his mind tomorrow and decides to stand for longer, I will support him in that as well. It is not for anyone to judge, we can help along the way whatever path our frineds on here choose to travel.
Now Mike, the only thing I will say to you is I would expect this to be your last thread in Newcomers. You have a new home waiting for you in Surviving and we will welcome you with open arms.
You know from the past that the road you have chosen is not without it's ups and down. It is not without pain and sadness. It is not without the need for opinions and advice from those walking in your same shoes. So come on over and meet the gang.......
By the way, just a small piec of wood for you... Do not ever use the distancing of the families as a reason. Marriage is a commitment between two individuals and your family would support you no matter what the decision or you would tell them to blow you.....
Ian
I ask as it helps with me, especially as we've been on this journey pretty much together from the off.
Mine should have no bearing on yours.
but for a while there, you felt you were making progress no ?
Yes, I thought there was progress. My hopes were high.
Then decided it was all a show prior to the getting the dogs ?
I was told, by her, the night before the 1st mediation that her mind was not changed. She said this herself, to me, looked me in the eye when she said it.
I think your W was slipping back in and is now back to justifying her actions
I don't know that for sure one way or another. I can tell you this. She was very upset this Saturday, the day of my son's wedding. She was upset because she was not included. She missed out on her D's first wedding as a flower girl.
On that day she told me I was the cause of all that has happened, I was the cause of her depression and weight gain. I was a chitty father, my character sucked. I was no longer welcome to eat the food in that house, the food was not for me. I was told I was to stop acting like I was single!!! She takes no responsibility, she takes no accountability and never has,
she never will.
No guilt trip Arthur,, I know it's not. My D will be taken care of my STBX is a good mother, she's just a WAW/done W.
Now Mike, the only thing I will say to you is I would expect this to be your last thread in Newcomers. You have a new home waiting for you in Surviving and we will welcome you with open arms.
I understand all this Ian.
I've been comtemplating the move over there but had thought that I would wait until it was over before but can see your POV and see why I should go ahead and make the move.
You know from the past that the road you have chosen is not without it's ups and down. It is not without pain and sadness. It is not without the need for opinions and advice from those walking in your same shoes. So come on over and meet the gang.......
I know. I know. I hate to say it but I know. Ya better be first cause I'm bringing moonshine!!
By the way, just a small piec of wood for you... Do not ever use the distancing of the families as a reason. Marriage is a commitment between two individuals and your family would support you no matter what the decision or you would tell them to blow you
you are right mine would support me. Hers would not and she's made it clear she would not tell them to blow her.
I think what Arthur is feeling is that if someone like you, who has been so helpful to myself and i'm sure others, is Done, then what about us?
What about you. You keep going. You don't give up. You'll know when, your heart will tell you when.
plus, if you're Done, will we be losing you?
no brother I'm not lost. I've found me.
STBX helped me find me...the sitch helped me find me..you guys helped me find me. The C helped me find me.
good on me
and good on you.
I'm still going M. Not ready to stop yet, just getting started on detaching and healing myself. I do struggle with it, of course, I ask myself that each day but, for now, I need to push it down. There are moments of each day I want to stop, i want to throw her out, i want to rage. but none of that will help me heal, and thats priority number 1 for me.
Update on me-Off work early, to the dentist for a crown sitting. Out of the dentist and over to the house..Did some drywall mud work int he last remaining bedroom and around the bathroom door. BIL came and worked in the bathroom, says he will finish it tonight. Before I left my mom had ran a sink full of water in the kitchen sink, she removed the stopper to let the water out. The water ended up backing up in the bathtub and toilet..so it appears that either the septic tank is full or the field lines are clogged/collapsed. We may just end up tapping onto the city sewer if the septic is really F'd up. No time with D tonight. I got in way to late.
I am worn out. It has finally caught up with me..4-5 hours of sleep a night for weeks on end and I'm just exhausted.
Tommorow work, then more work on the house.
Good morning all.
Another persian rug bought by STBX on Ebay it appears and she has also bought brand spanking new locks for all the doors on EBAY. :o.
Mikey may be about to get locked out of his own house.
Ah well, what you gonna do?
good morning Mike
I guess she's the ebay queen, huh?
good morning Mike
I guess she's the ebay queen, huh?
looks like she is attmepting to set a record.
got any ideas on how to DB a new lock on the door??
My DEW (darling ex-W) was pretty good at that sort of thing.
My DEW (darling ex-W) was pretty good at that sort of thing.
Tomato-you sticking here in Newcomers even though your D'd?? You're not moving? When was it final?
Morning Mike...
Another persian rug...hum how many does one log cabin need?
Door locks, legally can't do that document my friend
Are there no stores that one can actually go to in your neck of the woods to buy things??? LOL
She must have a couple of Gold Stars by her name on there not too mention Power Purchaser??
So what ya gonna do about the water fubar at the house??
Keep smiling show the world that new dental work LOL
Brian
My DEW (darling ex-W) was pretty good at that sort of thing.
Tomato-you sticking here in Newcomers even though your D'd?? You're not moving? When was it final?
I attempted to move to piecing before it became final, but that went over like a ton of bricks. At some point I may start up a thread in D'd but not done. Traffic is very slow over there though. It was final on June 23.
Another persian rug...hum how many does one log cabin need?
she may be attempting wall-to-wall ruggage..instead of carpeting.
Door locks, legally can't do that document my friend
calling the L shortly to talk. Can't divulge to her L that I know about the locks just yet, If I do then they know I know about the EBAY rug purchases. I would rather drag that out in Mediation if needed.
Are there no stores that one can actually go to in your neck of the woods to buy things??? LOL
why waste gas money on driving to a store when you can sneak and buy it on EBAY and have it shipped to your mother's business address..of course her mother is staying out of all this cause it makes her uncomfortable.
So what ya gonna do about the water fubar at the house??
it appears I can now take a bath after washing dishes in the kitchen by simply pulling the plug and draining the sink..Watter seems to take the path of least resistence when the septic tank fails or gets a plug.
Keep smiling show the world that new dental work
I'm smiling. There has to be a silver lining somewhere right??
What's that old saying. "The sun don't shine on the same dog's ass all the time" or something to that effect.
she only has a purple star at the moment.
I think a lot of people quit once divorced. I can imagine this place brings back or makes some people dwell on bad memories they'd rather move on from.
got any ideas on how to DB a new lock on the door??
Affirm its feelings about keeping the house safe and secure, then beat the snot out of it?
got any ideas on how to DB a new lock on the door??
Affirm its feelings about keeping the house safe and secure, then beat the snot out of it?
good one Rob.
I can imagine this place brings back or makes some people dwell on bad memories they'd rather move on from
I prefer to think of it as a place to help me heal and move forward.
To me this place is not a place of bad memories. This is a place of friendship, caring, understanding. It's a place of hope.
This was my safe harbor in a really bad storm. With that said, what better way to lock a thread.
No more posting on this thread folks. Leave it like this. I prefer this thread lock with this last post.
For those I'm following, I'll still follow.
For those that have followed me, I appreciate you and will never be able to repay you for your kindness, generosity and the knots on my forehead.
I'm going over to "where the party people" are.
SG-Lock this for me please..
I want the last post Mike.....
We are all waiting on you over in happy town......
Ian