Thread 1 -->
Ready2Change (1) looking for guidance! Thread 2 -->
Ready2Change (2) Detached Thread 3 -->
Ready2Change (3) Papers filed Thread 4 -->
Ready2Change (4) Drop the Rope Thread 5 -->
Ready2Change (5) No trust Thread 6 -->
Ready2Change (6) Temp Orders Thread 7 -->
Ready2Change (7) Two Lives Thread 8 -->
Ready2Change (8) CFI Thread 9 -->
Ready2Change (9) Divorce Papers Signed Recap of my sitch:
I lived with my wife for 17 years (married 11). We both are professionals and make a good living. We have S9,S8,D6.
Feb 14 --> Realized my M was not in good shape.
Feb 18 --> I told wife "We need to talk". I listed out the following:
I want to do what is best for our M.
I want to do what is best for our kids.
I want to listen (really listen) to W.
I want more effective and frequent communication.
I don't want to get mad or angry.
I want to spend more one on one time with W.
I want to do more family activities.
I want to spend more one on one time with each of our kids.
I want to let W have the freedom to do what she wants.
I want W to let me have the freedom to do what I want.
Feb 18 --> I got the bomb (I don't want to be married to you any more, I don't want to slowly die inside, I want to find my soul mate )
I started DBing right away (Before I found/read book). Lots of 180's. I stayed out of W bubble and got into kids bubble. Cleaned up my looks. Started doing housework while W not around.
March 4: Read DR. (Wow those two weeks felt like months) Time was in slow motion.
March 4: This was the lowest point in R. No eye contact from W and only 1 Hi. She did not look good. She went to bed early and without saying goodnight to kids.
April 3: I find out W sells stock to retain lawyer. I felt I convinced her there was better options than litigation including DIY and mediation.
April 4: First telephone coaching session
April 17: W and I attend all day session with Michele Weiner-Davis
April 29: I visit lawyer to find out my rights. My state is Joint custody in 85% of cases and it is an equal equity state. Most of my fear goes away.
May 3 : I find out W has retained lawyer. Wants me to go sign papers at her lawyers on the 5th.
May 4th : Notify W I have lawyer and her lawyer needs to call mine.
June 1rst: Wife and I talk for first time in a while.
July 1: Wife and I agree to "nesting". I have house and kids SMT W has kids and house WTF and we alternate S. 50/50 split.
Almost all communication is now by EMAIL. A few phone calls.
July 28th : Temp Orders -Parenting plans stays as is.
August 1-2 : I move out to rental 1/2 block from school.
Oct 1 : CFI (Child and Family Investigator)
Jan 6(09) : Final Mediation - Separation Agreement - Marriage is irretrievably broken - Joint (50/50) Custody
I still have not snooped or went looking for OM. (Best advise I got). I will continue to move on and still keep a door open for W. If she has a change of heart, I will deal with it then. I will live in
PRESENT, will not regret the past or fear the future. I will continue to enjoy every day as if it were my last, and continue to do my best with the knowledge I have. I do this for me and my three beautiful children.
Recommended reading(listed in order):
The Divorce Remedy: The Proven 7-Step Program for Saving Your Marriage by Michele Weiner Davis The Four Agreements Toltec Wisdom Collection: 3-Book Boxed Set by don Miguel Ruiz Radical Forgiveness, Making Room for the Miracle, 2nd Edition by Colin C. Tipping Hold on to Your NUTs: The Relationship Manual for Men by Wayne M. Levine Keeping The Love You Find: A Guide for Singles by Ph.D. Harville Hendrix The Love Dare by Stephen Kendrick The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Gary Chapman His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage by Willard F. Harley Jr. Not "Just Friends": Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity by Shirley P. Glass Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex by John Gray Teach Yourself Flirting ( Book + Audio CD) by van Rood Sam The Bible:
corinthians 7-11 Special thanks to
SmartCookie and
GYPSY for all your wonderful support during this most difficult time. You are both truly wonderful friends and I can not thank you enough.
My thoughts and prayers go out to all those who I have had a pleasure to meet through this website. Thanks for your support. I wish you all well. *HUGS*
Forgiveness, Patience, Listening, Understanding, Validation, Empathy, Compassion, Faith, Hope, Kindness
Hey Ready..
I'm in a much better place through knowing you. Thank you for all you do, who you are and the example you set.
*hugs*
Oh yes.. and thank you!
*hugs
Hey R2C,
Glad to see you have posted a new thread. How are the days for you? Making any progress? I know the D was signed, but anything since then?
Kevin
Hey Kevin,
I have the final decree signed by both W and I. So I am now officially divorced. I am free. I am happy. If you look at the list above, not much is missing,
Every choice I make is based on what is best for my kids.
I will listen, understand and empathize with Mrs Ready2Change.
I will have effective communication with Mrs Ready2Change.
I CHOOSE not to get mad or angry, even if Mrs Read2Change projects that at me. Her garbage not mine.
I am in complete control over all my family activities.
I am spending more one on one time with each of my kids.
Mrs Ready2Change has the freedom to do what she wants.
I have the freedom to do what I want.
I hope Mrs R2C finds happy.....
Nice new home
You sound good, R2C
Slowly
I will continue to move on and still keep a door open for W. If she has a change of heart, I will deal with it then. I will live in PRESENT, will not regret the past or fear the future. I will continue to enjoy every day as if it were my last, and continue to do my best with the knowledge I have. I do this for me and my three beautiful children.
R2C,
You have a great attitude and outlook. You inspire me through your words & attitude to do that same. I appreciate your support & encouragement.
*HUGS*
R2C - sorry to hear the D is final... But it's good to know you have a good attitude about it all. Keep moving forward. Enjoy your children. Be the best father a man can be.
Hi R2C, Just popped by to say hello back!! Good to hear you are content with D. You seem happy & positive of what the furture holds. Good for you!
Thanks for the support guys. Life is good. I have no regrets. I did my best during my marriage. I did my best after the bomb. I took the high road. That was the best choice I made. I will continue to do my best....I know everything will be OK.
I let S8 make his own decision today. I did not try and control him. He had a choice between going to basketball practice (his mom is the coach) or spend day with my dad. He chose to spend time with my dad. I know W will blame me, BUT I DO NOT CARE!!! Her issue not mine. Another bench mark in my growth. If she brings it up, "Sorry you feel that way" with a smile on my face......She is unhappy and angry (and very controlling) and I am not taking her garbage anymore.....
Hey Ready..
It's great to hear about your personal growth.
How are your kids responding to having options.. doing things that are not the norm? It sounds like a great way to provide empowerment.
How do the consequences work out for the kids when they're with the other parent?
*hugs*
It sounds like you really do have control of your life life. Thats great. So do you think there is still a chance she will come back in the future? Or have you decided whatever happens happens? Are you moving on then but leaving the door open?
Kevin
It sounds like you really do have control of your life life. That's great. So do you think there is still a chance she will come back in the future? Or have you decided whatever happens happens? Are you moving on then but leaving the door open?Kevin
Hi Kevin,
Thanks for stopping in.....
I have full control of my life. I have full control of raising my kids during my parenting time. IT IS GREAT!!!
I don't think she will come back. I am moving on. I will always do my best with what I know. What is best for my kids??? "To have two loving parents as role models". I have full control of my thoughts, words and actions. I can not control W. I can just be a good role model......I have faith that she will have a change of heart (based on human nature), but I can not let that stop me. She may not. I have accepted that.
I am working on me. I know what I need/want out of a R. If W comes back, I will have lots of boundaries and requirements before I take her back, I will let her choose if she is willing to do the work....
I am moving on. I will date women. I will have my boundaries. I will be aware of the red flags. I am not looking for a committed R with other women, rather just getting out, having fun and enjoying who they are as well as enjoying the moments we spend together......Practice Practice, Practice....
Here is short/condensed list of things that have worked for me:
) Learn from others - books,books,books and listening with a beginners (open) mind.
) Work on me - I have 100% control of my thoughts, my words and my actions - I choose to make them positive.
) No intentions / no expectations
) Pass out what I want to receive (this is a universal law)
) STOP doing what DOES NOT WORK - do more of what works
) Do 180's - Change the things I don't like about myself - Things spouse said gave me good insight into what I need to do - At first the changes felt very uncomfortable. They soon become part of who I am.
) Forgiveness - Forgive myself and other for any PERCEIVED hurtful things that have happened - do not harbor resentment (It is not helpful).
) Patience - things continually change. Things will get better as long as I don't fuel the fire.
) Kindness - Be kind to everyone, even the people that I perceive as hurting me
) Empathy --> "I am sorry you feel that way"--"I understand you feel that way" - "It must be hard to feel that way" -"I see" 'Mmmmm"......
) 100% focused on listening / understanding - remember details
) Be here now - Enjoy right now - no reason to let the past control me or the fear of the future control me
) Emotional Raincoat - Spouse has repressed most of her anger for 40 years. Since I love her, I will willingly let her vent that anger at me and not take it personal.
) Detachment - I do not let others emotional garbage become mine. I let them own there garbage. I own my own.
) Reward positive behavior, ignore the negative - Focus on the positives and let the negatives roll past with out reacting
Go check out ping, he's back, living your worst nightmare. He's in surviving.
Did you have cookies tonight ??
I had the headache from hell all day today.
Happy Friday !
bsp hugs
I have been MIA for a while getting a life and doing work.
Our wedding was on 2/15/97. I made it through most of yesterday with a very positive attitude.
I went to the movies at 7PM and watched "Grand Terino". There was a sad scene that triggered the tears. I got home and let them flow for a while. It took about 30 minutes before it dawned on my that I was sad about the end of the marriage etc... vs the scene in the movie that triggered the "over reaction".....
Anyways, feel the feeling and process them....I am getting healthier.....
Thanks for the update. I've been keeping an eye out for you. You are blazing my trail and I need you to do it well. We must prevail. It is the only way to win. Please don't just hang in there, like I'm barely doing. Make this new path be the best one for you. And then show me how to do it. No pressure. HA.
Thanks again. For all of your journaling.
L
R2C,
I sent out an SOS yesterday - had a fit. Needed everyone's support. Just found out how to contact you. Been receiving your hugs. Sending some back at you!
Read my posts from yesterday at your own risk. I really let go. I yelled so loud I woke Silva up in the UK. How's that for a holler? T stayed with me til I went to sleep dearheart that she is. Was offered the night shift again from her but I am ok now.
It has been 1 year (and 6 days) since the bomb. The D is finalized. It is time to let my emotions out again. I stuffed them down during the D process.
My wedding anniversary was Feb 15th. I did good keeping busy and GAL. I went to the movies and watched "Grand Torino". A scene in the move was very sad. It "triggered" an overwhelming sadness response in me. I chose to let it stay and not stuff it down. I let the feelings stay and went home. If felt good to let the tears flow. After wards, I realized I was sad about the M ending.
I also watched "fireproof" a few days ago. It triggered more tears.
Baby Goal with MsR2C: She has hung up on me about 20 times over the past year. She hung up on me last week, but then sent a "Sorry for hanging up on you". Positive steps (slower than you would ever imagine)
Baby goal with MsR2C: She actually answered the phone when I called to speak with kids (I was kinda in shock and I didn't even recognize her voice!)
I am in a good place and easily and cheerfully answer the phone when she calls.
I recall after my first D, my exh and I were somewhat short with each other. Unfortunately our interactions were strictly about the kids for the most part. I do remember calling him the first time the plumbing problem occurred and his response was, I am not your H anymore, I don't own the house, you figure it out. I did and in time let go of the anger.
Today he will do anything I ask for. He has been supportive with the separation and problems of my second H. He has been very workable with the kids and offered to take them many times when it seemed I couldn't handle things. Instead, he just helped out more. It gets better.
R2C,
It's good to hear from you again. Glad you are doing ok. It's alright to let those tears flow now and then. It just means you are human. Nothing wrong with that.
I need to watch fireproof. Although at this point, not sure it would do me any good other than make me sad as well.
Let me catch you up to date real quick. My W filed for D Feb 4th. We signed the wavier of service, child custody agreement, and our own personal agreement tontie. I am heading to Florida Thursday morning. I have handled everything so far. I shocked at myself. Didn't think I would. My W has been sleeping with OM for a while. I finally got proof through her emails.
But I am moving along anyways. I hope she comes back some day. But I'm not waiting around. I have taken alot of your past advice and I am forcing myself into a better place.
I hope you are doing good. I have thought of you often. Please stay in touch. You are an inspiration to us all.
Kevin
Over the past year, I logically decided to stuff my emotions down until the divorce was finalized. The next year of growth and healing will be nice.
I am letting my emotions flow when appropriate/needed now. The level of emotion are out of proportion with the actual events, but that is OK. They need to come out. Triggers are a VERY GOOD thing right now.
Then let them out. Don't keep them bottled in. Thats natural. I think sometimes we fool ourselves into thinking we can handle more than we can. I know I do. But then with time, the real emotions resurface. Thats just life.
But time will heal all. Whether its back with your W or something else the future holds. Who knows. You will be ok though. Let the emotions flow and just build your life for you and your kids.
All will be ok in the end somehow. I can't see the future. I just have faith.
Keep taking care of yourself. Buy yourself some more good smelling shampoos. Keep your positive thoughts. They got you this far. Don't stop now just because papers are signed. You don't know what the future holds. Maybe she will come back, maybe she won't and someone else will step in that is even more amazing.
Keep posting bro,
Kevin
Hey Watusi..
It's good to pop like a zit, drip like a faucet, trickle like a stream, blow like a steam whistle.. whatever it takes to release what's been held so long.
Friends accept the whole person.. not just what's easy.
The question is.. what's the next step after the dust settles?
*hugs*
It is time to relax and have fun. I need lots of sleep.....
DB'ing status:
MsR2C was in the house yesterday.....Is it good to let her in my space? Not sure yet. She was dropping off S8 Homework folder and picking up child support check.....I was friendly and invited her in like I would anyone else. Told kids Mommy was here. S9 and D6 Came out and saw here. I said again, Mommy is her. S8 said I heard you, but did not come out. MsR2C went down to his room....
I am very detached from MsR2C.....
I have "practiced" my ass off with many women and have some very good habits now. My relationships I have with other women are very compartmentalized to prevent becoming attached.......until I am healthy.....
Hey thanks for stopping by. I am just spreading my wings and flying to more threads. gypsy is a beautiful person, I just love how she looks at things.
Yes, I do think love will find us all again someday. I just want that "something" to keep my focus on. To heal my broken heart and my wounded soul. To know that I am worthy of a wonderful guy and that I don't have to settle because of fear or self-doubt. Those are my demons I hope to conquer and having a Saint on your side certainly couldn't hurt!
kat
Hey Watusi..
It's good to hear you're joining the Snooze Patrol. DB'ing guys need their sleep.
What was the after effect of their mom being in your home? It was cordial of you to invite her in. Interesting in how the children reacted.
Read any interesting books lately?
*hugs*
Sleep is king!
Maybe a little anxiety on my part....Could have been from other things. Easy to blame on her......
I am reading "The power of kindness" right now. It is very good....
I am tired of dealing with a non communicative ex wife. Time to 180 and start dealing with issues about the kids.....
Didn't I read that today was your Birthday?? Happy Birthday!! Enjoy.
kat
That's great to hear Ready..
Let her come to you. Her anger is keeping a wall up.. and you being so positive after she's the one who wanted the divorce no doubt annoys her even more. AND you have more time with the kids than she ever thought possible. Life is just not fair sometimes.
*hugs*
Thanks for the hug. Here is a bear hug back at you!!
HHHUUUGGG!
kat
MsR2C and I had parent teacher conferences today. We do them together...... Kids doing OK in school. Hopefully I can spend more time working with them now that the custody battle is over....
Anyway, there is still no talking. She did make some comments about my parenting style to the teachers. Her POV, not mine. I am following the "Love and Logic" approach. I was very relaxed.
I was back to enjoying her for who she is......Even though she is still blaming me for everything.......
Wow, it's been about a month since I posted. I guess I am GAL. Most of the drama is done. I see MsR2C here and there. Still no talking.
Get kids for my 5 day stretch today.....Life is good!
MrR2C speaks!
She says: "When would you like to talk about this summer?" I said "send me an email".
WTF. It clearly states in the divorce papers that we communicate through email. The summer agreement is already in place. The only item open is when I get the kids for a 2 week vacation and same for her.....
Hi R2C,
I'll have to read up on your story. Mine is unfolding much the same as the way yours sounds, we're about to finish off the D paperwork and I am looking forward to the custody battle being over as with each day it draws closer, I feel a sense of relief, al beit painful, but relief none the less.
We are now on a week on/week off parenting plan.
Well, the kids were with MrsR2C for 10 days, I had a Tuesday dinner visit, saw them at church and baseball practice. The exchange was Friday and they are now with me for the week. We had a great weekend together.
Ready2Change,
Did you or your wife file for the divorce? I often times wonder if my WAH is just waiting for me to do it so he doesn't have to deal with the guilt.
When you look back at your situation, what is the best advice you can give for the LBS? And the book that helped you the most?
I think you are a strong man and a great father.
Me 40
WAH 43
T 4 years
M 9 1/2 months
stepson 9
H left on 5/17/09
Click for My Reply to Montana I had an interesting interaction with my ex wife on Friday.
I parent based on "Love and Logic" and recommendations from the kids therapist and the CFI that she hired. IE the Consultant parenting model.
She is still following the helicopter and drill sergeant parenting model.
Anyway, when she arrived at my house for the exchange,she made a statement "Maybe if an adult was here" as she was talking to the kids, referring to our differing parenting styles....I just smiled at her and left.
To make a long story short, After she left I had an overwhelming sense of joy and happiness that I don't have her condescending comments in my life anymore. I was in the best mood. I was singing, dancing and enjoying my time alone.
To top it off, I was able to state my view to her. Text message to her: "Please remember the signed agreement. No negative statements about the other parent to the children. Thanks" She then vented to me. But I didn't take it personally. Her issues, not mine.
Life is GOOD! Detached loving is great......
My Reply to montana
Boys had baseball last night (her parenting time). I spent most of the game playing with D6. What a blessing. She is an amazing little girl. We had so much fun.
I completely avoided eye contact with MsR2C for most of the time. We made eye once. It was the longest she has done that since the bomb.........
Game was called early due to lightning. Kissed the kids goodbye.
I watched the kids all climb in her parents car, and she into hers (this means they are spending night and next day at her patents). I felt angry. I felt it, processed it, and then let it go.
She spends all the money fighting for custody, then during her parenting time she keeps sending the kids off to her parents. Step up and be the parent. Anyway, her choice. I have the same choices and do let the kids spend the night at my parents, so all is good. Forgiveness is a wonderful thing!
During the divorce, I should have pressed a little harder to get "First Right of Refusal".
On another note, my brother passed away about 12 years ago from lightning. The storm triggered more emotions. I drove home an let them out.
Life is good. Dinner visit with kids tonight. Pizza and arcade will most like be our night out......
I just finished reading
The Secret by Rhonda Byrne and highly recommend reading it.
Yes, so what are you go to "make" happen for you? After all it is a done thing. Just a little hard getting in to the frame of thinking but I am working on it. Hope you are doing well.
kat
Just by changing my beliefs and focus, I have seen a change in ex-wife yesterday.
As for what I am going to make happen:
1) I will have a boat
2) I will have my own house
3) I will have a new car
4) I will be at my ideal weight in less than six weeks.
I read on Oprah's site once that when they were discussing The Secret, Jim Carrey actually wrote himself a check for a million dollars and told himself that he was going to be able to cash that in xx amount of time! Pretty powerful stuff that Law of Attraction.
Oh and what color is that pretty new car? (mine keeps switching between red and blue).
kat
Black. Dodge Challenger SRT8.
Black. Dodge Challenger SRT8.
That' my car too...Very nice ride.
I just wanted to drop you a quick note. I wrote down my list for the Secret too. Things are happening on it but not necessarily the way I imagined. Be open to how you receive what you "know" you already have.
kat
Hi all,
Well, MsR2C pulled real hard on the rope and I did not pull back.....Of course my father pulled on it.......
I am glad I have grown enough not to get sucked in.....
Hi R2C, that book helped me survive the post bomb days. I read it, woke up next day and stopped crying. I made myself believe I would get what I wanted (H at THAT time-LOL)... It brought me peace and faith (it also got me a parking space Christmas Eve 2007 in the center of Athens-that WAS a miracle!!!).
Hope it works for you,
K
I read you, never posted to you before I think... Hi!!!
I have been out of the marital house for 11 months. About 16 months since the bomb. Divorced since Jan 09.
Baby goal: Communication is still improving (even though it is extremely limited still). Good thing we have a signed agreement we can always fall back on when making new agreements......
I am very detached. MsR2C does not suck me into the drama. I set my boundaries based on what I WANT and what is good for my kids.
Almost a year since I have been out of the house. (I moved out August 1 of last year (08)).
MsR2C still does not look happy. I am out of her life and she is still not happy. No one to blame anymore. Still minimal communication. She does have a real nice tan, so she is out running and biking still.
I had an interesting dream Sat night. She introduced me to OM. Funny how my brain needs "Justification" for the reasons she chose to end our marriage.....Funny how my brain needs to create more drama.....The good thing is I did not believe the lies my brain was creating.
I did have a near death experience this weekend. Gave me a clear focus again. Lighting storm quickly blew in while I was fishing. A charged field moved across me and my fishing pole started shocking me! Talk about a good reminder to enjoy life while we are here (as well as take shelter during thunder storms)....
Go out and live your dream today. It is all you have. Don't let the regrets of the past or the fear of the future control you.
HUGS
Just wanted to stop by and check on you. I did get the new car! 2 of my 5 "Secret" goals have happened. However, not the way I thought they would. I guess just keep yourself open and positive and attraction will bring them to you.
kat
Wow, time is flying by faster than ever! (been over a month since last post)
About 1 week ago, MsR2C called me screaming. I had two choices, listen and validate or hang up and set boundaries. I chose the second option. I am detached enough that I may have chosen option 1 if my kids were not in the car, but she was really loud....
It is strange for me to watch her hold all the anger and resentment and project it at me. I thank God for all the new relationship tools I have learned. Keep working on ME. We are both passive aggressive, so I need to step out of my box and change that part of me.......
Most of my thoughts are on other things these days.....
I want a civil respectful relationship with MsR2C. More patience and forgiveness need (on my part
)
One of the big lessons I learned is to take responsibility and refrain from blaming. I made my choices the best I could in the past, have learned a lot during this difficult time of my life. Every interaction with MsR2C is an opportunity to learn and grow. Compassion is at the top of my list right now. Learning how to be compassionate with her helps me focus on what is important: My happiness. My relationship with my kids. My relationship with other people.
I had to comment on your 8/31 post. The divorce is done! Been done for 6 months!
Why call screaming? Doesn't she have what she wanted? I'm going through a similar situation where WAW left, started school, started affair - but won't sign papers. I don't understand - I'm so "awful", and now you've "gotten away", so go!
the LBS GALs and learn to love life, it drives them nuts!
Thanks for posting!
She does not have what she wants. She still wants to CONTROL me. I am in control of my thoughts, words and actions. She chose to treat me with the silent treatment. I reciprocated. I desired to CO-parent. I now parent as I see fit. Lots of love and logic methods as well as other tools I have learned during the difficult time of D.
There are many "benchmarks" in my life. Yesterday was one of them. I changed. I was alone and in a state of bliss last night. It lasted for hours. Unbelievable!
I believe my behavior yesterday led me to this state. I have known for a while that I have stuffed emotions that need to come out. I needed to cry so I chose to watch a very emotional movie last night as a trigger. I let the tears flow. I felt the pain. I felt the sadness of loss. After the release of the stuffed emotions, I was able to feel the pleasure of being alive. It was a very spiritual event in my life.
Sounds like you are "closing a circle" in my words. Good for you! Upwards...
K
This weekend, MsR2C and I had an exchange of words. She expressed her opinion that I was a certain body cavity. I did a big 180 and reciprocated with a request to stop acting like another body cavity.
It is amazing how our (ex)spouses can bring out the worst in us.
Hang in there R2C. You are right that they can bring out the worst in us. It will be forgotten in a week. Keep on keeping on. Over all you have done an amazing job of DBing.
Kevin
Well,
Communication is happening! We had real dialog today (Via email). I have been more assertive as a parent but in indirect ways. She said I was "harassing", so I pulled out all the "direct" issues.
I have been extremely flexible with the parenting schedule. I know that is best for my kids. MsR2C has been ridged. I went ridged.
Exchange time is 7:30. MsR2C wanted me to flex today.
Her: "Since kids don't have school tomorrow I plan on dropping them off at your house at 8p."
ME: "8p is to late. I expect them home at 7:30"
her: "I'll remember that for the future - funny how 8p is suddenly late yet you take them to the movies at 10p."
ME: "When you choose to be flexible with the schedule, I will reciprocate"
Happy Thanksgiving R2C. We've known each other 17 months now. When I first joined here, I never expected to have friends like you.
xoxo
scookie
Ready:
You have a new "Friend"!
R2C,
I was on call tonight and read through your entire sitch. We are so much alike. I had a lump in my throat and my gut ached as I read. I really appreciate you offering your wisdom to me it has helped so much. While I read it was almost like I was watching myself. The time you have taken to help others battle this painful experience is wonderful. I hope all is going well with you now.
The last thing you wrote on my thread was re the New Years party. "what are your plans with the kids?" That hit me BIG. I stayed home, and it was the right choice.
Thanks....really
I am not yet caught up on your thread, but I knew from the advice you've given me, that you knew what you were talking about. I really appreciate you taking the time to help me in my sitch. I hope to continue to do the same for others on this site, reg of the outcome of my sitch. My PASSION has become marriages- I hate that I did not have that earlier; sometimes it does not manifest itself until it's gone.
I need advice on when to start new threads, I don't want to have everything everywhere, and I would like to maintain decent traffic for supports and advice.
thank you much
Well,
Another baby step.....
MsR2C said "thank you" when I handed her the child support check. Normally she just takes it.
I almost threw a compliment to her choice in ear rings (A 180) but held back. Having more fun with women who are receptive to compliments.....