Sex Starved Marriage Coaching (from Dotty) - 02/26/08 05:15 AM
from Dotty, Sex Coach
re: Sex Starved Wife
It is great to see you here, posting about what Michele calls one of the best kept secrets in America. Your support for each other here on this board feels very heart felt. Glad you found your way here. Isn't it helpful to know you are not alone, and that you have a place to talk about all this?
In my work with couples for over a quarter century and as one of Michele's telephone coaches for many years, I've talked with many people for whom this sensitive issue is significant. I am so happy Michele wrote her new book and you can read just how prevalent low sexual desire in husbands really is, to know that you are not alone, even though most people don't talk about it, and to realize it is probably not all about you, as you probably have been thinking. Michele's book dispels this notion. It is normal to feel rejected and have it affect your sense of self. While it is true there may be some things you can do to improve yourself in the situation, primarily, it probably isn't about you at all. Your husband's low sexual desire could be caused by many and varied factors. Check out Michele's book and you will see many possibilities you may not have thought about before, which can provide a sense of relief and hope.
Individual guidance can be found with telephone coaching, in which your specific situation is the focal point. We work as a team, with you being the "field expert." Your coach will help you establish solution oriented goals, rather than continue unhelpful complaining, arguing, etc. In listening to your story as a trained outsider, I often see things from a different perspective and hear possibilities for change. In response, callers often have an "aha" experience which changes some of their blaming and negative feelings, (a relief) and they are primed for new action.
Your first call should end with a plan for some small specific steps to try. Your job then is to try out the plan, and notice what helps, even in the smallest way. Often I talk with folks whose efforts have created small changes, but don't even seem to notice them. Or they notice them, but ignore the significance and fall back into old habits. Your coach can help alert you to those signs you may have missed, help you give yourself the credit due, and keep you motivated to stay on target. The next calls build on small successes and fine tune the plan. Your coach will be your cheer leader and encourage you to continue in the direction of your longer term goals. Sometimes it takes the two of you to kick impatience, anger, and hopelessness out of the way. If there were no hope, Michele's book would be moot, and you all wouldn't be here!!
I'm proud to be a part of Michele's awesome coaching team, all of whom are believers in hope and practical action that works.
We are interested in your feedback about this messageboard and about your experiences with telephone coaching.
Good luck to you all. Keep supporting each other, and spread the word.
re: Sex Starved Wife
It is great to see you here, posting about what Michele calls one of the best kept secrets in America. Your support for each other here on this board feels very heart felt. Glad you found your way here. Isn't it helpful to know you are not alone, and that you have a place to talk about all this?
In my work with couples for over a quarter century and as one of Michele's telephone coaches for many years, I've talked with many people for whom this sensitive issue is significant. I am so happy Michele wrote her new book and you can read just how prevalent low sexual desire in husbands really is, to know that you are not alone, even though most people don't talk about it, and to realize it is probably not all about you, as you probably have been thinking. Michele's book dispels this notion. It is normal to feel rejected and have it affect your sense of self. While it is true there may be some things you can do to improve yourself in the situation, primarily, it probably isn't about you at all. Your husband's low sexual desire could be caused by many and varied factors. Check out Michele's book and you will see many possibilities you may not have thought about before, which can provide a sense of relief and hope.
Individual guidance can be found with telephone coaching, in which your specific situation is the focal point. We work as a team, with you being the "field expert." Your coach will help you establish solution oriented goals, rather than continue unhelpful complaining, arguing, etc. In listening to your story as a trained outsider, I often see things from a different perspective and hear possibilities for change. In response, callers often have an "aha" experience which changes some of their blaming and negative feelings, (a relief) and they are primed for new action.
Your first call should end with a plan for some small specific steps to try. Your job then is to try out the plan, and notice what helps, even in the smallest way. Often I talk with folks whose efforts have created small changes, but don't even seem to notice them. Or they notice them, but ignore the significance and fall back into old habits. Your coach can help alert you to those signs you may have missed, help you give yourself the credit due, and keep you motivated to stay on target. The next calls build on small successes and fine tune the plan. Your coach will be your cheer leader and encourage you to continue in the direction of your longer term goals. Sometimes it takes the two of you to kick impatience, anger, and hopelessness out of the way. If there were no hope, Michele's book would be moot, and you all wouldn't be here!!
I'm proud to be a part of Michele's awesome coaching team, all of whom are believers in hope and practical action that works.
We are interested in your feedback about this messageboard and about your experiences with telephone coaching.
Good luck to you all. Keep supporting each other, and spread the word.