getting what I wanted but no liking it - 09/13/06 02:09 PM
past thread in SSM
OK so it's been a while since I've written anything which for me is usually a sign that things are going OK and/or that I'm just busy with the life I went and got myself.
H has been more attentive physically and attempting to be more interested in having me around (ie. asking me to sit on the front porch with him for a few min when he arrives home from work).
All looks as if it's going well (here it comes LL's famous) BUT...I noticed h has been ordering pay per view porno (trying to hide it but I can find it on the tv menu) and when we do have it's very mechanical and not intimate or sensual.
I thought for a bit that maybe it was just me not wanting to get comfortable and let myself be fully there just incase it didn't last (not the length of the encounter but that the encounter wouldn't repeat itself again any time soon). But now I'm starting to think it could just be that we don't have a sensual connection or an intimate connection, h is watching porn getting horny, no longer having an A (maybe his a was a PA after all) and so he thinks he's giving me what I want by being more interested in sex but...
I want to be clear in that I'm not against a good roll in the hay with my h just for the sake of rolling in the hay...but it'd be nice if occassionaly it were more of a mental and physical connection rather than just for the sake of getting off.
here's the issue...I don't want to just start saying no and become one of those dreaded LD wives but I don't think I can continue to let things go this way.
How can I address the issue with h without being met with the "you'll never be satisfied no matter what I do" response. In his eyes...I'm getting what I had always complained about not getting...trouble is in my eyes I'm not...it wasn't just about a lack of sex it was about the lack of physical intimacy (cuddling on the couch, massages, hugs, long kisses that lead to nothing but a warm feeling that maybe you'll do something about later that evening etc, talking, connecting)...
am I screwed simply because I'm now getting screwed?
LL
OK so it's been a while since I've written anything which for me is usually a sign that things are going OK and/or that I'm just busy with the life I went and got myself.
H has been more attentive physically and attempting to be more interested in having me around (ie. asking me to sit on the front porch with him for a few min when he arrives home from work).
All looks as if it's going well (here it comes LL's famous) BUT...I noticed h has been ordering pay per view porno (trying to hide it but I can find it on the tv menu) and when we do have it's very mechanical and not intimate or sensual.
I thought for a bit that maybe it was just me not wanting to get comfortable and let myself be fully there just incase it didn't last (not the length of the encounter but that the encounter wouldn't repeat itself again any time soon). But now I'm starting to think it could just be that we don't have a sensual connection or an intimate connection, h is watching porn getting horny, no longer having an A (maybe his a was a PA after all) and so he thinks he's giving me what I want by being more interested in sex but...
I want to be clear in that I'm not against a good roll in the hay with my h just for the sake of rolling in the hay...but it'd be nice if occassionaly it were more of a mental and physical connection rather than just for the sake of getting off.
here's the issue...I don't want to just start saying no and become one of those dreaded LD wives but I don't think I can continue to let things go this way.
How can I address the issue with h without being met with the "you'll never be satisfied no matter what I do" response. In his eyes...I'm getting what I had always complained about not getting...trouble is in my eyes I'm not...it wasn't just about a lack of sex it was about the lack of physical intimacy (cuddling on the couch, massages, hugs, long kisses that lead to nothing but a warm feeling that maybe you'll do something about later that evening etc, talking, connecting)...
am I screwed simply because I'm now getting screwed?
LL