DR Chapter 4 - Ask for What You Want - 05/31/03 04:14 PM
After working through chapter 3, you should be closer to knowing what you want. Now, it might be time to share these thoughts with your spouse.
How many times have you already told your spouse what you want and need? Millions of times I bet, right?!
What have your results been so far?
How have you been asking? What, exactly, have you been saying? Have you possibly been asking in such a way that it might come across as either "nagging" or "complaining" to them?
Have your requests been met with resistance, with your partner taking a defensive stance? Maybe feeling that they were being attacked?
Are your requests positively stated? Are you really saying what you want, or are you telling them what you don't want, or don't like?
What are the times and places that you ask?
Might you be asking for too much all at once?
With all of the above in mind, when have been the times when you've been able to ask for what you want, and gotten it? Or, at least some of it?
What has worked for you in the past?
How many times have you already told your spouse what you want and need? Millions of times I bet, right?!
What have your results been so far?
How have you been asking? What, exactly, have you been saying? Have you possibly been asking in such a way that it might come across as either "nagging" or "complaining" to them?
Have your requests been met with resistance, with your partner taking a defensive stance? Maybe feeling that they were being attacked?
Are your requests positively stated? Are you really saying what you want, or are you telling them what you don't want, or don't like?
What are the times and places that you ask?
Might you be asking for too much all at once?
With all of the above in mind, when have been the times when you've been able to ask for what you want, and gotten it? Or, at least some of it?
What has worked for you in the past?