Seems I'm jumping on a band-wagon. I've had a few dreams lately about being in a relationship and they were for the lack of a better word, "comfortable".
I'm setting myself a target of mid-March, so after my 59th birthday. If nothing organically hasn't happened by then, I'll consider putting some effort into reaching out to others.
Things have been sort of busy with work. We have a lot of cranes on site lately moving things around in the plant and finally the old "93" tower is being demolished. So I go out and take pictures from time to time from a safe distance. I was showing some to my boss and he suggested that they be indexed and labeled and then smiled when I said that 90% of the labels would be "cranes are cool". I do have a lot of respect for those operators and riggers who can take an awkward and unwieldy object, lift it more than 100' into the air and then set it down gently right on the button.
We've also been doing some hiring lately with 2 more engineers being on boarded and as of January an admin person who will be starting out as a maternity replacement. I was joking with the other admin staff that since I'll be on vacation when she starts that they'll have a week to prepare her for me
That big corporate project continues to drift towards doom. Sad in many ways but I'll continue to do my part and continue to work on the assumption that it will be a success but also having the backup plans in my pocket. I'm pretty sure that the senior leadership is exhausted with the delays and the excuses from the project leads. Corporately we've lost a few key players that haven't been replaced and I honestly can't see us being able to be resourced enough to have this work. But it's not my call. I had a chat with one of my colleagues the other day who was suggesting that I should be brought back into corporate and put in charge of these areas with a substantial pay rise, but it would take a lot of persuading to get me to leave the front lines at the plant.
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In other news I have new neighbours. The side of the duplex to the west of me has activity and I bumped into the person who lives on the other side and they mentioned that a younger mother/daughter have moved in and that they seem like nice people. I'm going to have to be more diligent about closing my curtains on that side of the house I suppose. If I do some baking this weekend, I might take some over as a "welcome to the neighbourhood" gift.
It will be nice to have neighbours on that side again. The older lady who passed this fall was pleasant enough but I rarely saw her. And the young lad who moved in to the house on the East side of me is never out and about. I see his parents more than him.
I have made the decision that starting this year, that I'm going to start making my own Christmas traditions that are independent of the kids. They are both adults and have other demands on their time and so going forward I can reasonably expect that many Christmas mornings it will be just me and the cat. So this year, I'm going to indulge myself with some self-care and start the day with a nice breakfast, nosh on my stocking contents (Santa just seems to know what I like), do some baking and maybe go for a hike. Spending time with a good book and cheesy Christmas movies is also on the list. I also want to make myself a special but small dinner so need to figure out what I'll do for that. I don't want too much as there will be the big dinner with my son on the following day.
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I was a bit surprised on Thursday when I was heading "in to town" to pick up something that my xW's house has no Christmas decorations up. In past years there has been something basic done, albeit even more basic than the few lights and decorations I have here. Although in hind-sight, it was generally me who did all of the decorating and was the first to start the Christmas music. I do so love this holiday, actually most of the celebrations that occur that remind me of how so very thankful I am for all of my good fortune. Ah well - none of my concern on what is going on in her life. I just send the payment each month and each month, she continues to stay away
Next year will be the last full year of making alimony payments. Phew - it's been a long road for that. I'm fortunate in that the tax benefits help with some of the cost as it directly reduces my taxable income and I file forms to take advantage of that each pay. The following year since there will only be three payments I don't think I'm going to bother with that and just get a bigger than usual tax refund.
Given that I expect that alimony is at least 1/3 of her income and maybe as much as 1/2, I would imagine that the count-down is a topic of thought on the other side as well. It makes me grateful that I negotiated that neither party can ask for the agreement to be re-opened. Although since she and OM have been living together for quite some time she'd have a hard time I think justifying re-opening the agreement. It certainly would be an expensive thing for her to even try. Given how the cost of living has gone up in the 5 years since we negotiated the payment the fixed amount she gets is undoubtedly buying less and less each month. Fortunately for me, I've done decently in getting pay rises in recent years and am actually to the point I think where my net pay is back to what it was 5 years ago before I started paying her. Although inflation is certainly hurting my own budget quite a bit despite that.
6 months after I'm done paying her off, my car is paid for as well so that will be a nice change to the monthly cash-flow. All of the extra cash is intended to pay down the mortgage which I wouldn't have except for the divorce anyway.
Should be a good weekend of taking things slow. There's essentially no-where I have to be at any particular time other than the flower shop and bakery where I'm expected to be boring and predictable / consistent and reliable in showing up when and as expected
I have a light switch that's been needing to be replaced for a couple of weeks to do plus the sort of usual baking, cleaning etc that every household needs. There's a couple of home automation projects that I've been wanting to spend some time on that hopefully I can tinker with as well. I've replaced my timers that are used with my Christmas lights with smart plugs and also installed "in use" outlets outside so that's been neat.
I have noticed as I get closer to re-opening myself to dating that I've also become a lot more careful in what I post on social media including places like this. Those of us who indulge do indeed leave a digital trail and there's also what I want to be seen by those who may be lurkers in the shrubberies. So while there's a bunch of things going on that I'd like to explore, I'm keeping it boring here.
Odd to think that it's now coming up on 7 years since my xW (to the best of my knowledge) started her affair in earnest. Where does the time go. There had always been rumours of her being unfaithful that really came out after we split. I do miss being part of an intact family and regret the loss of the future that I had expected.
There have been times, lately, when I dearly wished that I could change the past. Well, I can’t, but I can change the present, so that when it becomes the past it will turn out to be a past worth having.
I think that one thing that is very different from my last attempt at dating over 3 years ago, is that I now have no expectation of "success". Back then, and as friends assured me that a decent fella with all his own teeth was a "catch" for the right gal. I also am reminded of when I was young and fishing in the Mighty [name redacted] River that ran through the farm I grew up on, of the carp and sucker fish that were the easiest things to catch. They were big fish too, but also tasted like mud when cooked and weren't worth the effort.
Ah well - the tea pot is empty. The plant production has been reviewed and things appear to be chugging along. I have to go over the lab results still but there's no huge rush as long as that is taken care of before Monday.
