Divorcebusting.com
Posted By: MLCxH The Slap Hear Around the World - 03/29/22 01:52 AM
There has been a lot of newsreel about Will Smith slapping Chris Rock on the stage at the Oscars because Rock made a joke about Smith's wife's bald head, which she shaves because of a medical condition.

If you watch the footage closely, it appears that Will Smith appears to find the joke funny and is seen laughing when Rock makes the joke. Jada however, is not amused and rolls her eyes. Then a short while later, Smith gets on stage and assaults Rock.

I wonder if Smith assaulted Rock because he felt the need to overcompensate and show his support for Jada since he initially laughed at the joke? If so, I feel it highlights an interesting dynamic in their relationship and dare I day possible insecurity on the part of Smith?

Goes to show relationships are complicated not just for ordinary people like us, but even a guy who is considered one of the sexiest and most desirable in the world by many.
Posted By: Core Re: The Slap Hear Around the World - 03/29/22 03:12 AM
I normally don't give two seconds of thought to celebrity happening but I related so much to the pain in Will's eyes when Jada was openly gaslighting him about sleeping with their sons friend. I related to him trying to save the marriage. Being an outsider though, I could see all her tricks, manipulations, cuts, twists amd turns.

Because of that, I had to see what this is about.

Will indeed thought the joke was funny. Jada looked like she wanted to kill Rock. She cannot take a joke, as few today can. Will decided to "honor" this woman that is disgusted by him and still years for 2pac by making a fool of himself by slapping a man on national television. Common dude...a SLAP?

I can't look at Will the same anymore. As you said...I think it was insecurity, and overcompensation among other things.

When Will said "keep my wife out of your mouth", Chris Rock if he wasnt in so much shock, had a golden opportunity to respond in many soul crushing ways which its good he didnt.
Posted By: MLCxH Re: The Slap Hear Around the World - 03/29/22 03:50 AM
Originally Posted by Core
Will decided to "honor" this woman that is disgusted by him and still years for 2pac by making a fool of himself by slapping a man on national television. Common dude...a SLAP?

Methinks Will needs a few DB lessons smile
You cannot nice her nice her back especially when you do things that show you put her on a pedestal.
A woman has to respect you before she can be attracted to you

Originally Posted by Core
I can't look at Will the same anymore. As you said...I think it was insecurity, and overcompensation among other things.

I agree it's hard to see him the same. I cringe when I see what he did and the possible reasons he did it for. What a way to overshadow your first Academy award in such a great career frown

Originally Posted by Core
Chris Rock if he wasnt in so much shock, had a golden opportunity to respond in many soul crushing ways which its good he didnt.

I was amazed, even shocked, at how well Chris Rock handled this. His response made Will even more immature!
Posted By: Traveler Re: The Slap Hear Around the World - 03/29/22 07:33 AM
Wow--I'd missed this. I'm sad to see Will Smith brought down so low, and impressed by Chris Rock's composure. I hope Will Smith faces consequences. I hate double standards where the rich and powerful get away with such acts.
Posted By: Core Re: The Slap Hear Around the World - 04/01/22 03:03 AM
After his boxing training in the movie Ali, I still can't believe he resorted to slapping.

MLCxH - funny and nice application of DB principles to Smith's life lmao.
Posted By: kml Re: The Slap Hear Around the World - 04/01/22 05:33 PM
Smith started the sucker punch with a closed fist - although he comes down with an open hand, the sound of the impact sounded more like a punch than a slap. Perhaps some primitive part of Smith’s brain thought better of it as the punch was headed towards Rock’s face and opened his fist.
Posted By: BL42 Re: The Slap Hear Around the World - 04/01/22 06:28 PM
Originally Posted by MLCxH
If so, I feel it highlights an interesting dynamic in their relationship and dare I day possible insecurity on the part of Smith?
Bingo.

I'm not one to follow celebrity gossip, but am aware enough to know Jada regularly and openly disrespects Will Smith. She's stated publicly she didn't really want to get married to Smith but her mother encouraged her, she openly pines for the late Tupac Shakur and says how he'll always be #1 in her heart, she has not-so-quiet affairs including a several year long one with the friend of her son and than pulls Smith into a broadcasted interview about it where he breaks down and apologizes for her.

Who knows what's Hollywood PR and what's real, but she seems like trash whereas he comes off as the nice guy trying to keep his family together and weakly excusing her actions.

Originally Posted by Cora
When Will said "keep my wife out of your mouth", Chris Rock if he wasnt in so much shock, had a golden opportunity to respond in many soul crushing ways which its good he didnt.
Who knows - this is speculation on my part - but after Smith screams at him I get the distinct impression Rock is about to roast Smith into the next century. Rock gets a huge smile/smirk on his face and says "Woah, I could...oooh, ok..." but then decides to go on with the show. I mean Rock is a professional comedian who I'm sure has plenty of experience with hecklers. This his medium. He could've spent the rest of the show slaying Smith about his relationship with Jada, but I think (rightly) thought better of it in the moment and took the high road.

Originally Posted by MLCxH
Methinks Will needs a few DB lessons smile
You cannot nice her nice her back especially when you do things that show you put her on a pedestal.
A woman has to respect you before she can be attracted to you
Agreed. He needs to start standing up for himself, instead of turning himself into a clown show. She clearly doesn't respect him, and he looks like a fool.

Originally Posted by MLCxH
I was amazed, even shocked, at how well Chris Rock handled this. His response made Will even more immature!
Originally Posted by Traveler
and impressed by Chris Rock's composure
I couldn't agree more. He was completely caught off guard, and why shouldn't he be? Who expects an A-list movie star worth hundreds of millions of dollars is going to assault you on stage in front of thousands of people and the world watching on TV...over a joke. Yet, despite that, he regains his composure and goes on with the show professionally. No question he came off better than Smith.

Originally Posted by kml
Smith started the sucker punch with a closed fist - although he comes down with an open hand, the sound of the impact sounded more like a punch than a slap. Perhaps some primitive part of Smith’s brain thought better of it as the punch was headed towards Rock’s face and opened his fist.
Probably. Could you image a punch connecting solidly? I mean he's a pretty big in-shape guy would has trained as Mohammed Ali and action roles. Plus Rock is completely caught off-guard as he has no reason to expect he's about to get assaulted. As bad as the slap was a knock out punch would've been devastating. I did see some speculation as to what would've happened instead if Dave Chapelle or Joe Rogan would've been there instead of Chris Rock lol
Posted By: kml Re: The Slap Hear Around the World - 04/01/22 06:41 PM
Oh jeez - yeah, Dave Chapelle would have probably knocked Will Smith OUT.
Posted By: Elbereth Re: The Slap Hear Around the World - 04/02/22 01:51 AM
I’m sad that this whole debacle took away from the King Richard movie and the amazing story and life of Venus and Serena Williams. That movie was great and inspiring. All people are talking about is this punch. Sad.

And that isn’t even stating more of the obvious about it like you all are describing and I certainly agree with.
Posted By: Kind18 Re: The Slap Hear Around the World - 04/02/22 07:23 AM
Their relationship is all f****d up on so many levels.

How will Jade reward Will for protecting her honor… let him watch her with another guy? What a vomit fest.

Chris Rock is lucky he didn’t insult Alex Baldwin’s wife 😂
Posted By: bttrfly Re: The Slap Hear Around the World - 04/02/22 02:33 PM
and while we all watch the oscars/will smith/chris rock show, nobody is paying attention to what's really going on in the world. spin spin spin ...
Posted By: MLCxH Re: The Slap Hear Around the World - 04/06/22 05:00 AM
Originally Posted by Elbereth
I’m sad that this whole debacle took away from the King Richard movie and the amazing story and life of Venus and Serena Williams. That movie was great and inspiring.

IMO the mother was the true hero. She is the one who worked and was the financial support for the family. She stayed in an unhappy marriage for the sake of her kids. She was the source of strength for her kids when their father was putting pressure on them. However, I am guessing that a "Queen Oracene" movie would probably not generate the same hype and revenue as "King Richard".


Originally Posted by BL42
I did see some speculation as to what would've happened instead if Dave Chapelle or Joe Rogan would've been there instead of Chris Rock lol

As we commonly say in this forum, "Not taking any action is an action too" smile If Rock had responded, this would have been more ammunition for the media to spin it into a whose actions were worse. Rock's reaction has forced Smith to apologize to him publicly, admit he was wrong and deal with the consequences of this to his career. He had to resign from the Academy, Netflix & Sony announced today that they will put any projects with him on hold and other chips are likely to fall.


Originally Posted by Kind18
Their relationship is all f****d up on so many levels.

This is a good lesson for why it is important to stand up to your partner and not let them walk all over you. Doing so will not only hurt your relationship but also hurt you in other aspects of your life

Originally Posted by bttrfly
and while we all watch the oscars/will smith/chris rock show, nobody is paying attention to what's really going on in the world. spin spin spin ...

Discussing this and other world events is not exclusive. Entertainment is important for a balanced life and a large percentage of the human population count on movies as one of their sources of entertainment. So, when something like this happens involving a A-list actor on the night of what could have been one of the greatest in his professional career, it is indeed big news. Spin on the other hand is focusing on misinformation that is fed through our echo chambers and thinking something is more important than it truly is.
Posted By: bttrfly Re: The Slap Hear Around the World - 04/06/22 01:19 PM
Originally Posted by MLCxH
Originally Posted by bttrfly
and while we all watch the oscars/will smith/chris rock show, nobody is paying attention to what's really going on in the world. spin spin spin ...

Discussing this and other world events is not exclusive. Entertainment is important for a balanced life and a large percentage of the human population count on movies as one of their sources of entertainment. So, when something like this happens involving a A-list actor on the night of what could have been one of the greatest in his professional career, it is indeed big news. Spin on the other hand is focusing on misinformation that is fed through our echo chambers and thinking something is more important than it truly is.
We can agree to disagree. I think entertainment has it's place, but it's a place, not as all-encompassing as our culture makes it.
Posted By: bttrfly Re: The Slap Hear Around the World - 04/06/22 01:20 PM
its place, it's a place. oh, for an edit button and more coffee
Posted By: kml Re: The Slap Hear Around the World - 04/06/22 01:24 PM
Quote
IMO the mother was the true hero. She is the one who worked and was the financial support for the family. She stayed in an unhappy marriage for the sake of her kids. She was the source of strength for her kids when their father was putting pressure on them. However, I am guessing that a "Queen Oracene" movie would probably not generate the same hype and revenue as "King Richard".

Agreed! And he abandoned his first family of five small children, leaving them to be raised in poverty.
Posted By: MLCxH Re: The Slap Hear Around the World - 04/06/22 05:38 PM
Originally Posted by bttrfly
I think entertainment has its place, but it's a place, not as all-encompassing as our culture makes it.

I am unsure on what makes you think it is all encompassing. Personally, I don't see people being consumed by the discussion about what happened at the Oscars to the event that they ignore everything else.





Originally Posted by kml
Agreed! And he abandoned his first family of five small children, leaving them to be raised in poverty.

This made me speculate if he would have abandoned his second family too if he was not dependent on the money his wife was making and the potential of a big payoff when his daughters went Pro smile
Posted By: bttrfly Re: The Slap Hear Around the World - 04/07/22 11:04 AM
Originally Posted by MLCxH
Originally Posted by bttrfly
I think entertainment has its place, but it's a place, not as all-encompassing as our culture makes it.

I am unsure on what makes you think it is all encompassing. Personally, I don't see people being consumed by the discussion about what happened at the Oscars to the event that they ignore everything else.
Again, we can agree to disagree.
Posted By: MLCxH Re: The Slap Hear Around the World - 04/07/22 12:29 PM
Originally Posted by bttrfly
Originally Posted by MLCxH
Originally Posted by bttrfly
I think entertainment has its place, but it's a place, not as all-encompassing as our culture makes it.

I am unsure on what makes you think it is all encompassing. Personally, I don't see people being consumed by the discussion about what happened at the Oscars to the event that they ignore everything else.
Again, we can agree to disagree.

There is nothing to disagree on smile Within your sphere of information, it may truly be the case that all the attention is on this topic and nobody is paying attention to other events. I don't have to disagree with you that YOU feel that this topic is all encompassing.

All I said is that I don't see the same thing happening from my perspective. I see a lot more attention being paid to on the economy, inflation, the war in Ukraine etc than this topic. Unless you are making a statement on what topics I personally see being focused on within my personal sphere of news and information, we don't have a disagreement.
Posted By: Ready2Change Re: The Slap Hear Around the World - 04/15/22 08:33 PM
Originally Posted by Core
I normally don't give two seconds of thought to celebrity happening
Same here, but I went down the rabbit hole. "The behavioral Arts" Chanel on YouTube has some good body language readings.

Chris Rock was amazingly professional. He doesn't understand body language, so he was confused as Will approached.

Will has nice guy syndrome. Will has repressed emotions. He over reacted. He needs IC. Will should have been arrested for assault.


If you watch how Jada speaks of TOPAC, completely different than Will. Different type of attraction.


An entanglement? Jada minimizes and distances herself from her A. Of course they are talking about private matters out in public, but I do not see a couple that is "together at last".



Lots of character traits each of us can evaluate and decide to remove or add to our own behavior.
Posted By: BL42 Re: The Slap Hear Around the World - 06/03/22 12:54 AM
Going down the DB Forum rabbit hole...I was re-reading DBX80's thread which led me to see if MLCxH had given an update recently which led me here to this thread he started, so speaking of celebrity news...

I don't know the details beyond the constant media headlines, but sounds like Johnny Depp won his lawsuit against Amber Heard? Sounded like a seriously dysfunctional relationship. Maybe we should send the two of them a MWD DB book.
Posted By: MLCxH Re: The Slap Hear Around the World - 07/29/22 05:06 PM
Hi DB friends,
I am taking a break from posting on this forum but wanted to throw out a few thoughts to people posting here so you can give the right advice to those seeking help. These are just my personal opinions, so if you feel they are incorrect feel free to ignore them.

There are some instances where people have tried to misinterpret MWD's teachings and used it to push incorrect theories that are based on their own bias. I am listing some examples below and related quotes from MWD. I encourage you to reread her books, but at a minimum read the summary on DB site (https://www.divorcebusting.com/sb_the_divorce_remedy.htm) from which I have borrowed her quotes.

Well-meaning friends and family
Oddly enough, some of the people nearest and dearest to you are part of the problem. This is not to say that they don't have your best interest at heart. They do. They love you. They can't stand to see you in pain. More than anyone, they know you and know how much you deserve happiness in your life. Their caring is genuine. Why then, do I say that your loved ones can be misdirecting you?


The Biased Shoulder
When you share your unhappiness with loved ones, what they hear is your side of the story, and your side only.


I have seen multiple instances where the advice falls into these two categories. It is especially worse in cases where posters seem to know each others personally in real life or have interacted with each other for many years through years of posting on this forum. As a hypothetical example, if someone says their ex is making their kids' life horrible but the kid is happy and content going over to the ex's house and spending time with them, there is a possibility the poster may not be accurately representing the situation. You may want to think twice about feeding the beast and pushing the poster towards alienating their child from the ex.


To begin with, you need to know that, first and foremost, therapists are people. No matter how well trained they may be, what you get when you seek therapy is the person behind the therapist. All people have life experiences that help shape who they are, their beliefs, their values, their morals, and their interests, and therapists are no exception. It's literally impossible for therapists to check their values and perspectives at the door at the start of a therapy session.

A therapist's views about marriage are influenced by many things, including the quality of his or her own parent's marriage.


If trained therapists have this problem, please be aware that as an untrained person providing advice on the internet, you are likely to have a lot of bias. Keep this in mind before pushing posters hard to do something you feel is right. Your personal experience may be valuable to the poster, but respect the fact that they may not share your moral, religious or cultural bias.

If you are considering divorce, I want you to know that I agree with you if you think that life is too short to be miserable. It's true that we only have one go-around and that your life isn't a dress rehearsal. You need to hear me say that I am not suggesting you stay in an unhappy marriage and resign yourself to loneliness and misery. Far from it. That wouldn't be good for anyone!


Being pro-marriage does not mean there are situations where divorce may be the right thing for a particular person in a given situation. I have seen posters attack others with statements such as 'MWD is pro marriage' and 'this is a Divorce Busting site' to push incorrect theories that reflect their own opinions. I personally feel a marriage should be saved if possible, but I also feel we should accept the limitation of not knowing everything about the poster's situation and hence avoid judging them. Educate them on the perils of divorce and encourage to think about ways to save the marriage, but please don't judge them based on your personal bias.

There are a lot of sane voices on this forum that provide valuable help to many that are going through a tough time in their lives. Thanks for all you do and keep up the good work.

Ciao!
Posted By: Traveler Re: The Slap Hear Around the World - 07/29/22 07:00 PM
Originally Posted by MLCxH
Being pro-marriage does not mean there are situations where divorce may be the right thing for a particular person in a given situation.
Right; MWD isn't opposed to divorce when one spouse is controlling, an alcoholic, emotionally abusive, etc. She believes most marriages end for more solvable reasons like growing apart, poor communication, or poor conflict resolution skills.
Posted By: Mach1 Re: The Slap Hear Around the World - 08/01/22 02:31 PM
Originally Posted by MLCxH
Hi DB friends,
I am taking a break from posting on this forum but wanted to throw out a few thoughts to people posting here so you can give the right advice to those seeking help. These are just my personal opinions, so if you feel they are incorrect feel free to ignore them.

Soooo...

Just so that I understand...

You're not gonna post for a while....

Yet on the way out the door, you are gonna soapbox how the people that are still here, should post...???


Sound about right ??





That bad part for me, is that I agree with a lot of what you are saying...

I have always felt that the term Divorce Busting has been mis-interpreted.

The words themselves are mis-leading as they sit. They give a false impression that if you do A,B,C, and D, your marriage will magically be restored.....not true.

By the time that most posters hit these boards, their marriage is over as they knew it. Many can't grasp that concept, and some realize it fairly quickly.

Through my posts here, I have mentioned more than once that I really don't care about a person's "marriage" here. It's the poster that I am concerned with. Their growth, their healing, their path to a new and better life, which ultimately CAN LEAD TO A RESTORED MARRIAGE WITH THEIR CURRENT SPOUSE.

MWD stresses that the changes and development of the person is key throughout her process.

Without the growth and change, there is no chance at all..

Never once have I seen her say to save the marriage at all expense.

From what I've read here as opposed to a few years ago, is that most of the advice from the vets, seems to follow how their situation turned out....

Therefore they will lead to what they know....


Advice from anger will result in anger..

Advice from am unforgiving place will lead to resentment, and the lack of forgiveness...

Advice from fear will create more fear....


I've always been told to vent in the direction that you would like to grow...

Vent up, grow upward...

Vent down, you sacrifice your standards.....

It isn't up to anyone here, to steal hope from a new poster....maybe that's why newcomers is a ghost town now.

Not every marriage should be saved, that is true....

Yet every marriage deserves the chance to be evaluated by the poster first, to see where it truly stands without the rose colored glasses on...

Ask what they want, rather than tell them what's gonna happen....

The ONLY time I agree with a straight up Divorce in in the event of physical abuse..

Everything else is so subjective. We only get one side of the story here.....





I can tell you this though....

There is no better feeling than being part of a success story....

Yet even that is subjective. When first here, success is defined as a restored marriage. Yet I think that the true message of what MWD teaches is lost, that the best chance a person has, is to become a better person in the areas that they once lacked.

I've had the chance to be a part of about 10-12 restored marriages during my time here. And while that feels good....

The best feeling comes from the dozens of restored people I've been a part of...






I kinda like this discussion....

Assessing what it means to DB within ourselves can often reset our focus....

I know it has for me several times over the years.....
Posted By: Cadet Re: The Slap Hear Around the World - 08/01/22 03:00 PM
Originally Posted by Mach1
Originally Posted by MLCxH
Hi DB friends,
I am taking a break from posting on this forum but wanted to throw out a few thoughts to people posting here so you can give the right advice to those seeking help. These are just my personal opinions, so if you feel they are incorrect feel free to ignore them.

Soooo...

Just so that I understand...

You're not gonna post for a while....

Yet on the way out the door, you are gonna soapbox how the people that are still here, should post...???


Sound about right ??





That bad part for me, is that I agree with a lot of what you are saying...

I have always felt that the term Divorce Busting has been mis-interpreted.

The words themselves are mis-leading as they sit. They give a false impression that if you do A,B,C, and D, your marriage will magically be restored.....not true.

By the time that most posters hit these boards, their marriage is over as they knew it. Many can't grasp that concept, and some realize it fairly quickly.

Through my posts here, I have mentioned more than once that I really don't care about a person's "marriage" here. It's the poster that I am concerned with. Their growth, their healing, their path to a new and better life, which ultimately CAN LEAD TO A RESTORED MARRIAGE WITH THEIR CURRENT SPOUSE.

MWD stresses that the changes and development of the person is key throughout her process.

Without the growth and change, there is no chance at all..

Never once have I seen her say to save the marriage at all expense.

From what I've read here as opposed to a few years ago, is that most of the advice from the vets, seems to follow how their situation turned out....

Therefore they will lead to what they know....


Advice from anger will result in anger..

Advice from am unforgiving place will lead to resentment, and the lack of forgiveness...

Advice from fear will create more fear....


I've always been told to vent in the direction that you would like to grow...

Vent up, grow upward...

Vent down, you sacrifice your standards.....

It isn't up to anyone here, to steal hope from a new poster....maybe that's why newcomers is a ghost town now.

Not every marriage should be saved, that is true....

Yet every marriage deserves the chance to be evaluated by the poster first, to see where it truly stands without the rose colored glasses on...

Ask what they want, rather than tell them what's gonna happen....

The ONLY time I agree with a straight up Divorce in in the event of physical abuse..

Everything else is so subjective. We only get one side of the story here.....





I can tell you this though....

There is no better feeling than being part of a success story....

Yet even that is subjective. When first here, success is defined as a restored marriage. Yet I think that the true message of what MWD teaches is lost, that the best chance a person has, is to become a better person in the areas that they once lacked.

I've had the chance to be a part of about 10-12 restored marriages during my time here. And while that feels good....

The best feeling comes from the dozens of restored people I've been a part of...






I kinda like this discussion....

Assessing what it means to DB within ourselves can often reset our focus....

I know it has for me several times over the years.....


A++++++++


whistle whistle whistle whistle
Posted By: MLCxH Re: The Slap Hear Around the World - 08/01/22 08:22 PM
One more post before I stop posting for a while smile

Originally Posted by Mach1
Soooo...
Just so that I understand...
You're not gonna post for a while....
Yet on the way out the door, you are gonna soapbox how the people that are still here, should post...???
Sound about right ??

No, that is not right at all, not even close.

There are many people I have interacted with on this forum over the past few years. Many were helpful to me in my sitch and there are at least a few who interacted with me regularly. It was just a courtesy message to let them know I will be taking a break from posting.

Since I was not planning to post for a while, I shared some thoughts based on my observations for a while. I posted this partly as journaling in my own thread and I even put a clarifying statement that these are my personal opinions and people are free to ignore it. I understand you may not benefit from these thoughts, but please recognize that there may be others that do. It was not addressed to you specifically, so why not use those DB skills to ignore it if you find it annoying?

Originally Posted by Mach1
bad part for me, is that I agree with a lot of what you are saying...

Why is it bad for you that I said something you feel is correct? It almost feels like you are annoyed that I was right? This makes no sense to me. It was even more disappointing to see a moderator that I respected, whistle and cheer on such a provocative post from the galleries frown Probably one of the many reasons why this forum is slowly turning into a ghost town.

I hope this helps you get some better clarity on the motivation for my last post. It was not from a place of anger, fear or other negative emotions. It was simply me journaling my thoughts in the hope that it may help someone else. If it does not, then it won't be the first time I said something that did not benefit anyone smile

I wish you all the best! Peace.
Posted By: Mach1 Re: The Slap Hear Around the World - 08/01/22 08:58 PM
Originally Posted by MLCxH
No, that is not right at all, not even close.

There are many people I have interacted with on this forum over the past few years. Many were helpful to me in my sitch and there are at least a few who interacted with me regularly. It was just a courtesy message to let them know I will be taking a break from posting.

Since I was not planning to post for a while, I shared some thoughts based on my observations for a while. I posted this partly as journaling in my own thread and I even put a clarifying statement that these are my personal opinions and people are free to ignore it. I understand you may not benefit from these thoughts, but please recognize that there may be others that do. It was not addressed to you specifically, so why not use those DB skills to ignore it if you find it annoying?



Sigh....

I didn't find it annoying at all...



Originally Posted by MLCx
Why is it bad for you that I said something you feel is correct? It almost feels like you are annoyed that I was right? This makes no sense to me. It was even more disappointing to see a moderator that I respected, whistle and cheer on such a provocative post from the galleries frown Probably one of the many reasons why this forum is slowly turning into a ghost town.



Why is it bad ??

Because you seem to get it....the message that is supposed to be consistent...

And with you not posting, that is one less message to be delivered....


Having said that.....the other part is that you seem to often find the confrontation also.

Kind of a "my way or the highway thing"...

An example of that above. Instead of asking if I was joking or just poking at you in jest, you assumed that I was angry, upset, or maybe even annoyed...


There seems to be a lot of that in a lot of your interactions as of late...


It's bad because you have the opportunity and knowledge to pass the message along...


The moderator was applauding the content of my post, not that he thought I was poking you..

The same as he would applaud ( and has) your posts that are consistent with the DBing skills that you seem to have within you. And the standards that are supposed to be displayed on these boards ...



Originally Posted by MLCx
I hope this helps you get some better clarity on the motivation for my last post. It was not from a place of anger, fear or other negative emotions. It was simply me journaling my thoughts in the hope that it may help someone else. If it does not, then it won't be the first time I said something that did not benefit anyone smile

I wish you all the best! Peace.


With that said.....Is everything going okay for you ?

Not being snarky either.....

Are you doing well ???
Posted By: LH19 Re: The Slap Hear Around the World - 08/01/22 09:58 PM
Boys play nicely in the sandbox lol.
Posted By: MLCxH Re: The Slap Hear Around the World - 08/01/22 09:58 PM
Hey Mach,
My apologies for misinterpreting this! That is the problem with written Vs verbal conversations since it is easy to misinterpret the former easily. I guess the word 'soapbox' is what led me to think you were annoyed. Perhaps next time use a smiley when you say something in jest, lol.

I do hear you on the confrontational posts and the feedback is valid. I am often blunt and don't like to sugarcoat things. This is one reason I don't post much on Newcomers because I feel they are in a emotionally fragile state and my blunt delivery may not be helpful. With hardened vets, it is a different thing though I have managed to unintentionally tick off some vets at one point or another smile

I am doing well, thanks for asking. I appreciate the support this forum has given me, but the more I move forward and put my D in the rearview mirror, the harder I am finding it to come post here. In a way it is sort of a mental detox to detach and heal further. So, I am actually taking a break for positive reasons not because I am upset or angry.

Cheers!
Posted By: Cadet Re: The Slap Hear Around the World - 08/02/22 11:54 AM
Originally Posted by MLCxH
So, I am actually taking a break for positive reasons not because I am upset or angry.
Taking a break is fine.

Mach takes them all the time.

I hope you are OK and as far as the forum turning into a ghost town it has nothing to do with me.
I guess that could be a discussion on its own but I think the technology is changing and will continue to change in the next few years.
I am but a mid/low level manager and have very little power to do too much here.
Just gate keep the rules that were put in place a long time ago and not updated as time has gone by.

I will not comment on the upper management of the forum as it will not be nice.
Posted By: Mach1 Re: The Slap Hear Around the World - 08/02/22 01:51 PM
Originally Posted by MLCxH
Hey Mach,
My apologies for misinterpreting this! That is the problem with written Vs verbal conversations since it is easy to misinterpret the former easily. I guess the word 'soapbox' is what led me to think you were annoyed. Perhaps next time use a smiley when you say something in jest, lol.

I do hear you on the confrontational posts and the feedback is valid. I am often blunt and don't like to sugarcoat things. This is one reason I don't post much on Newcomers because I feel they are in a emotionally fragile state and my blunt delivery may not be helpful. With hardened vets, it is a different thing though I have managed to unintentionally tick off some vets at one point or another smile

I am doing well, thanks for asking. I appreciate the support this forum has given me, but the more I move forward and put my D in the rearview mirror, the harder I am finding it to come post here. In a way it is sort of a mental detox to detach and heal further. So, I am actually taking a break for positive reasons not because I am upset or angry.

Cheers!



I'm glad you are well....

Sometimes the mental break is an opportunity for growth. Posting can keep a person stuck in their situation.


So much for the final post huh ?

: )

You are kinda like The Who....

Seriously, this is our last tour until the next one....



As far as ticking off other posters...

It happens. I always thought it was how we chose to handle that , that would make the difference.

We are here, vets of DBing, and if WE can't iron out our differences, then what do we show newbs ??

I've been known to jab a stick into a hornets nest myself....however, in the end, we are all on the same team....





Originally Posted by HannahMontana
Taking a break is fine.

Mach takes them all the time.

I hope you are OK and as far as the forum turning into a ghost town it has nothing to do with me.
I guess that could be a discussion on its own but I think the technology is changing and will continue to change in the next few years.
I am but a mid/low level manager and have very little power to do too much here.
Just gate keep the rules that were put in place a long time ago and not updated as time has gone by.

I will not comment on the upper management of the forum as it will not be nice.


You can be nice if you want...

I'm beginning to think that the reason for newcomers becoming a Ghost Town is because there aren't any new members being approved...

I know personally of a simple password reset being on day 7...

IF that is the case, it would be highly irresponsible for this forum to promote what it does, yet not provide a sufficient timeframe to help those that are hurting and in emotional pain....

As low level as you are, maybe shoot a flare in the air ???
© DivorceBusting.com